Raina's Reign

Chapter 4: The scars remain

I went back in my room and fell heavy on my bed as I was looking outside my room's window. I tried to calm down and stretch my body. It's been some days since I shifted and went for a run. After all, I was responsible for the festival. I felt my eyes burn and tried to close them in order to calm Accalia down after the 'emo-incident'. Accalia's eyes were pure white with red pupils and every time she was emotionally unstable my black eyes would change into Accalia's and burn. 

'Just let me rip his neck tonight. I can smell his hotel from here. We cannot let this pass. His scars remain on your soul!' Accalia said with a cold tone. 

'Please do not start voicing your violent thoughts. Just let him be. We heard worst. Everything will come at the right time.' I said in a calming tone.

I started reminiscing of the past. I did not have it easy in my life. But I wouldn't change it. I was born in a family that never loved me and did not care. They showed their indifference every time they could. My childhood was not like a pleasant dream kids have. I did not have happy moments of me playing around with others or my mum reading me bedtime stories to fall asleep. I was born during a solar eclipse, in wintery Iceland, and unfortunately in the werewolf world that meant that I was a bad omen. A solar eclipse was understood as a night without the presence of the Moon Goddess. My mother gave birth to me in the forest fearing that the Midnight pack would kill her as soon as she gave birth. She was frightened and wanted to get rid of me. My pack did not want me either but decided to keep me and assign me a low-life status in the pack. 

When I started to growing up, I started noticing the unpleasant looks everyone gave me. I would always feel fiery stares behind my back. Nobody wanted to talk to me or even touch me. I instantly became the maid in their pack house at the age of 10 and was taken advantage by everyone there. I used to clean after the pack and serve their food. Mingling through the pack to serve and clean I would always get groped by the other werewolves when I started looking more like a woman, and listen to their disgusting words about how they wanted to have a go with me and then kill me. They never respected ne. I used to cry every time the pack house was empty, wishing I would die, feeling hopeless and weak. 

My parents never once supported me when the alpha or his daughters punished me by beating me unconscious every time in front of everyone. My back had countless scars because they were made before meeting my wolf and acquiring Accalia's healing abilities. The alpha's daughters filled with jealousy over my pure white hair would push me and even hold scissors to cut my hair. The two of them would grab me by my hair and hold my head on the ground or in the dirty bucket I used to clean the floors until I could no longer breathe in its dirty water. That's when I decided to shave my hair. I remember that day. I was looking at my reflection in the nearby lake's clear waters. When I started cutting and my hair fell on the ground, I wondered if the Moon Goddess would think that I'm ungrateful. I hesitated and decided to cut my hair short. Every night I would go to the forest nearby and clean myself in that lake. At the end of the day, my hair would have spots of grey, brown and red hues due to the cleaning and the daily torturing. I was wondering why the Moon Goddess brought me in a world so cruel just to be used and looked down.

Upon re-living these memories my hands unconsciously touched the side of my back. The once covered with scars back was now turned into a masterpiece showing gratitude to the Moon Goddess. I could still feel the bumps on my back tattoo caused by the beatings.. 

'Was I really a bad omen..' Accalia growled.

The days in the pack house were long and felt like there was no end. I was waiting for my 18th birthday to meet my wolf. I would explain everything to her in the hopes of getting away from this stupid pack and become a rogue. The idea of it was of course not appealing but there was nothing I could do. Unfortunately, I was too distracted and did not notice the alpha's son closing in. He was talking to me about laundry but got no answer and instead of asking again he pushed me from the back. My eyes widened from the sudden pain and I tried to get off the floor, only to be met with powerful kicks on my stomach. Blood started dripping from my mouth as I slowly started to lose my senses.

'Next time, answer to your future Alpha you f*****g b***h'. Rollin said with a smirk. 'I don't even know why my father keeps you here. In a few days I will become 18. I will make sure to burn your body. The smoke from your fire will reach the Moon Goddess as an apology for letting you live for so long.' he said and turned to leave.

I fainted in the laundry room. Nobody was there to help me. I was alone. That boy was my age but had so much hatred in his heart...

When I finished serving food to everyone and cleaned, I went to the forest since I knew I did not want to turn 18 in a place I despised so much. I was waiting impatiently for the day to change in anticipation. I would be meeting my wolf! But I could not stop thinking about the possibility of my wolf not accepting me. I slowly walked in the lake in order to clean my hair and my tortured body. When I got out of the lake, I spotted three men watching me and I quickly tried to cover my naked body. The men started closing in. In the moonlight I recognized these men from the pack house. One of them was the future alpha. The other two were the ones that were threatening me every day. In a matter of seconds, the men surrounded me.

Tears started streaming down my face remembering what happened...  It's strange. I thought I locked these memories deep inside me. I promised to myself to never be this weak again. I remember my words that night that had no impact... 

'Please, have mercy on me. I do not deserve a fate like this. I'm not even 18 yet. I want to meet my mate. I want to be pure for him.' I whispered to them crying. 

The men did not even budge from their position as they started getting more close. They pushed me down and held my arms down and my legs open. I did not stop crying and kicking but I hoped for someone to come and me. Rollin laughed and shouted. 

'Nobody's here to help you Raina. You are a disgrace to your kind, and you will get what you deserve. Did you really think that a lowlife like you would be granted a mate by the Moon Goddess?!' 

One of them got on top of me and started unbuckling his pants. I knew that he was right. Nobody could help me. Nobody would come to her rescue. I was alone. As I turned her gaze towards the moon I pleaded and begged to the Moon Goddess for mercy but I soon felt the a sharp pain in my abdomen. Each of the men took turns and when they finally finished I was thankfully unconscious. Rollins thought that violating me and stripping me of any pride I hold, was not enough. He took out his pocket a knife and carved two lines below my left eye, crossing my cheekbone on the side. I still have the scars. Every single one. Blood was dripping from my pale skin. As he got up he cleaned his knife, and left disgusted with his friends.

When I came back to my senses, the sun slowly started to rise up. My face and legs felt numb. I tried to get up and felt nauseous and disoriented. I held my head and noticed that my hand was dripping with red liquid. After getting up I found and wore my clothes. I went to the lake in order to clean myself and looked at my reflection in the water. My once lively dark brown eyes were now almost black, and emotionless. My left cheek had a big X carved on the side with dried blood all over it. I started crying again until I couldn't breathe from the shock when I realized what happened. That's when Accalia and me met. 

'Aren't you a beauty fit for greatness...' Accalia said when the sun started taking its place. 

I shot my eyes open as I was looking in the water. 

'I see you chose to join me..' I thought. 

'Did you think I wouldn't come? You are 18 now. You fit for a wolf and a mate.' Accalia said in my mind with a note of playfulness. 

'I'm sorry that you chose me.' I remember saying in between my tears. 'I may not be the one you think I am.' I felt my cheek burn. 

Accalia felt suspicious and slowly reached my mind, re-living all of my memories once again. My pain became one with Accalia as she went through my hardships. In the end Accalia howled in my mind, so powerful and so loud that I tried to cover my ears with my hands. 

'I'm sorry for being late' Accalia said. 'The Moon Goddess never abandoned you. I felt your strength Raina. I felt your will for life. Will you accept me?' Accalia said in a low voice. 

I stood confused. 'Accept? Me? I'm not clean. How will I ever find a mate? I'm branded with shame, you don't understand' I said with a raspy voice. 

Accalia sighed in my mind and continued. 

'I have already accepted you. I chose you. But this must be both ways. You need to accept me in order to fully be one and shift.' I was dumbfounded. I wasn't sure that my wolf would accept me.

'I, Raina, child of the Moon Goddess, accept you as my wolf' I said out loud.

My almost black eyes widened and were filled by Accalia's white eyes with red pupils. My bones started to crack as I screamed in agony. I closed my eyes when I felt like my skin was ripping and what felt like fire starting inside my body. I fell on the ground and elongated in a strange and scary way. I held my face in my hands as I my skull felt like it was hit by a million nails. Fur was soon peeking through my skin. Then everything stopped. I opened my eyes. I could feel the grass on my paws, the light cold breeze through my body. I could smell the trees, the flowers, the animals around me. I could see the wings of a butterfly flying above me. I looked down at my reflection in the lake waters and my eyes met with the most beautiful fur I had ever seen. Accalia's fur was pure white, with a silver hue in the sun. So clean, so pure. So.. not fit for me. 

Accalia felt my sadness and hesitation and started running through the forest. Her speed was impeccable. I never felt so powerful. So free. So alive! As we were running through the forest Accalia decided to talk seeing me finally getting relaxed.

'I am Accalia. A creation sent by the Moon Goddess. My duty is to be with you till death. But I warn you. I will be with you in every step, as long as your judgement and goals are clear. I will not tolerate any hesitation from your side. I need your trust and determination. That is, the belief of the Lycans'. she said in a strong and confident voice.