Three Little Birds

Safe Haven Pt. 3

She's got a smile it seems to me

Reminds me of childhood memories

Where everything

Was as fresh as the bright blue sky

Now and then when I see her face

She takes me away to that special place

And if I'd stare too long

I'd probably break down and cry

His voice was nothing like I'd ever heard before. My breath caught as he sang. There was no need for him to scan his eyes over the monitor. His eyes stayed locked on me as if this was for me and me alone.

Oh, oh, oh

Sweet child o' mine

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Sweet love of mine

She's got eyes of the bluest skies

As if they thought of rain

I hate to look into those eyes

And see an ounce of pain

Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place

Where as a child I'd hide

And pray for the thunder

And the rain

To quietly pass me by

I thought of the moments over the last few months where he padded away fallen tears, when I saw my own pain reflected in his eyes.

Oh, oh, oh

Sweet child o' mine

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Sweet love of mine

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Sweet child o' mine

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Sweet love of mine

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Sweet child o' mine

Oh,

Sweet love of mine

Where do we go?

Where do we go now?

Where do we go?

Oh, oh

Where do we go?

Oh,

Where do we go now?

Where do we go?

Oh, (sweet child)

Where do we go now?

His expression somehow both stayed exactly the same, neutral...but if you looked deeper...if he was looking at you as he was me at that moment, you would have known, as I had, that he was asking just that. Where do we go from here? And I knew that the song was a message.

A coded declaration in the form of music and an inquiry meant only for me.

Oh,

Where do we go now?

Oh,

Where do we go?

Oh,

Where do we go now?

Oh,

Where do we go?

Where do we go now?

Where do we go?

Oh,

Where do we go now?

No, no, no, no, no, no

Sweet child,

Sweet child of mine

The patrons whooped and hollered and breaking my gaze, he gave a dramatic bow before straightening and sauntering back over to the table.

I reclaimed my place on his lap, his arms automatically wrapping back around me. I turned slightly to face him, his arms slipping, his hand resting against the side of my thigh. I felt his thumb absently moving along my leg.

"Sing that often here?" I asked him.

He smiled and shook his head. "No. First time."

I released the breath I was unaware I had been holding. It did not occur to me that that's the answer I had been hoping for until he said it.

A slow, shy grin spread across my face and I found his stare suddenly too intense to continue to hold.

He tilted my chin back toward him with the crook of his finger and kissed me. When he pulled back he was smiling, but there was still that question hanging over our heads.

Where do we go from here?

We had a couple of drinks and ate some fried mushrooms to soak up the alcohol. We stayed a couple of hours laughing and talking over the noise and sang along with other karaoke participants. 

Around ten we wandered into a Denny's further into the city; as everything but the bar was closed in town.

We took our seats at a booth, me sliding in the inside and Mykel sitting to my right, Liz taking the seat across from us.

We ordered our drinks and were looking over the menus when I suddenly heard my name. I looked up and paled, my entire body tensing. Mykel looked up at the call, seeing the couple move toward me. When he heard me whimper he looked to me, his expression changing completely. Hardening. Liz's expression was the same as Mykel's, and it struck me how very much alike they look.

The couple reached the table and I shrank away, cowering in an unrelenting fear I had not felt since I was sixteen.

"Mathew, long time no see, son." That voice. Her voice. Her surface tone was that of pleasantries; as if running into an old friend you had never expected to see again. But under that, I heard the maliciousness, that same evil sneer she had always used with me. 

I said nothing. I could say nothing. My throat was closed and I was doing everything in my power not to sink and hide under the table.

"What's the matter? Can't spare a word for your mother and father?" That was my father. His eyes were as hard as they ever were. I felt like I was six years old and about to be thrown in the freezing water. 

Mykel stood then, his size, height, and much more intimidating form causing them to quickly step back. Liz joined him. Together they barricaded the table, blocking me completely from their view. Their reach.

"Back away. Turn around right the f**k now. Don't look back. He is not your son. You're nothing to him. Now turn around and get. The. f**k. Away. From. Him."

My father glanced down at Mykel's curled fists; large fists. In comparison my father was small. Mykel had height and build on him, and for the first time in my life, I saw fear in their eyes. Without a word further, they took two steps backward before turning and leaving the restaurant.

They watched the car leave the parking lot and disappear from view before moving from their spot.

"Come on, Mattie, baby, let's go home. Come on, let's go," Liz softly told me, her eyes full of a fury I had never seen before.

Mykel lightly grasped my arm. Not enough to frighten me, but enough to get my attention. I nodded, not speaking, and slid from the booth. If I tried speaking I would scream. Or cry. Or both. And neither I wanted to do sitting in a semi-busy restaurant.

I felt eyes on us from the diners but had not the presence of mind to really notice. My focus was on the grip I had upon Mykel's arm, and the touch of Liz's hand resting against my back.

Without a word Mykel ushered me into the car, following me into the backseat.

When the backdoor shut I collapsed bodily into his arms. My breathing instantly erratic, my pulse racing, and that held-back scream building up from my bowels were building further in my chest.

The whole ordeal of seeing them was rather anticlimactic, as they were unable to reach me physically and said next to nothing thanks to Liz and Mykel's actions of intimidation and demands to leave. 

But even seeing them for the few short moments I did, hearing those voices in reality instead of a twisted nightmarish memory, paralyzed my system. The fear that consumed me when I first heard her call my name was as undiluted as each time they dragged me toward the water.

I was a child again, scared and frantic. Vaguely I recall trying to climb further in Mykel's lap, my one safe haven against all the cruelty flashing before my eyes.

"Mattie, baby, breathe." That was Liz. At some point, she had taken my hand and I squeezed it then, desperate to do just that.

Then Mykel began to sing, low and soft, his hands running up and down my back, through my hair. 

Singing don't worry about a thing

Cause every little thing is gonna 

Be alright

Woke up this morning

Sit with the rising sun

Three little birds

Pitch by my doorstep

Singing sweet songs of 

Melodies pure and true

This is my message to you

Singing don't worry about a thing

Cause every little thing 

Is gonna be alright now

The scream melted down into gasping sobs, my entire being quaking to the point my teeth chattered.

I vaguely heard Mykel tell Liz to take us home before the engine turned over and we were pulling out of the parking lot. 

The near-hour ride home was a haze. I sat huddled in Mykel's lap, my face pressed into his shoulder, tears soaking the fabric, and his arms wrapped ever so tightly around me. He sang. Sometimes the same song. Sometimes other songs. But it kept me calm, his voice keeping the demons at bay.

He carried me inside when it was clear I was not relinquishing my hold upon him. 

Liz went into her room and grabbed her box while Mykel sat on the couch, still clutching me to his chest.

Liz came back from her room with her box and the biggest bong I had ever seen up close. 

"Okay, Mattie, love, we're going to get really, really f*****g stoned, alright?" She smiled tightly as she ground up the pot and filled the bowl before lighting it, taking a hit, and passing it to me.

I slid off Mykel's lap, still leaning against him, and took a large hit. Instantly, I started coughing and handed quickly the bong to Mykel. Liz handed me some water and I took a drink, wondering as I did where she'd gotten it from.

We smoked in silence for a long time. I knew both of them were waiting on me to say something, but I had no idea where to even begin.

"I remember them being bigger," I said at some point, pushing myself back into Mykel's lap.