6 HOURS

LAST CHANCE

Everything that has a beginning, has an end. The window period was over and we were on our way to visit the hospital again. I was very apprehensive as expected, but Hanan was very relaxed as I drove the car, singing along the way.

As soon as we reached the hospital, the doctor wasted no time and ordered the laboratory assistant to collect our blood samples. I had every reason to be scared. I had not entirely kept to the rules of the window period. I should have just been patient, but I had allowed my lust to get the better of me. Now my result would be adulterated, as the true position of my HIV status could not be ascertained.

As we waited for the results, I took her hand and said to her, "I really miss you Mai Twins".

She just smiled without responding.

After a while the results came back and the doctor happily told us that we were all alright and that they were both negative. My happiness was a bit sour, as I knew that I had exposed myself during the window period.

We chatted normally on our way home, stopped over to buy some things and after that I dropped her off at home. I drove out to see some friends, watch football and generally chill out. By 7PM I was done with all that and I drove back home. I was so excited that tonight would mark the continuation of our marital relationship like every other normal couple.

The first sign that something was wrong when I got home was that my house was in darkness. I looked to the houses on the left and right to confirm that there was light. There was. So how comes my house was in darkness? Was there a problem I wasn't aware of? I pay my electricity bills as at when due, so what could be the issue?

Anyway I got down from my car and went to open the door. That was when I discovered that the door was padlocked from the outside. That meant no one was home. Where was Hanan and the kids? She never went out without notifying me. Was it an emergency?

I had my own keys so I opened the door. I stepped into the sitting room and switched on the lights. It looked very neat and there was nothing out of the ordinary. I decided to call her. I dialled her number and I heard the famous lady say, "The number you're calling is currently switched off!".

I frowned. Hanan never switched off her phone and I was very sure her phone battery had not run down. Something was wrong, I could feel it in my bones. I sat in the sitting room while a musician screamed in the TV. I stared without seeing what was happening on the screen. My mind was in a turmoil.

The hands of the clock climbed from 7PM to 8PM and then to 9PM. Still not word from my wife, and by then I've tried her phone a thousand times. I was reluctant to call my mother-in-law, but I was left with no choice. Predictably, she told me Hanan and the kids were there.

I drove over to their house, parked outside and announced my arrival.

"Assalamu Alaikum", I said, raising my voice.

"Walaikum Salam", my mother-in-law answered. To my amazement, I saw my twins playing around in the sitting room. Hanan was also seated, watching one of the series in Zee World.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her when I sat close to her.

"We need to talk", she said.

"Alright, let's talk", I said.

"Not in here. Let's go outside and sit in the car", she suggested.

"Alright let's go", I said again.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked as soon as we were seated in the car. She was looking at her hands, clearly uncomfortable.

"I want to talk to you Marwan, and I want you to be honest with me" she began.

"What is it?" I asked her.

"Please be honest with me… I understand that it's so easy to lie, but please try to tell me the truth".

"What is it?" I asked her again.

She was quiet for the best part of a minute, then she looked up at me and asked, "Did you sleep with anybody else before today?"

My heart froze and time stood still. Then it started beating fast. Does she know? I wondered. No! No way. She must be fishing.

"Why would you ask me such a question?" I asked, feigning annoyance.

"Just answer me, please".

"No. I didn't sleep with anybody else, and I'm surprised that you would even think like that after all that has happened", I responded righteously.

She looked at me then, sorrow in her eyes.

"Okay", she said. "If that is how you want to do it".

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"It's okay, don't worry. Let's go inside" she said.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what the problem is", I said a little forcefully.

That was when she dropped the bombshell.

"The truth is I always thought the love you have for me means a lot to you, and I thought my love for you was enough to keep you in check. But I was wrong".

"What do you mean, and what are you talking about?", I interrupted.

"Please listen to me Marwan… and please understand what I want to tell you now. It's very important. I cannot continue being your wife because I cannot be with a man I don't trust. I cannot be with someone who tells me lies, and I can't be with somebody who is so irresponsible that he cannot protect me or his children or his marriage from destruction", she continued.

I was at a loss for words, tongue-tied. I didn't know what she was talking about and I asked her.

"Ever since that horrible night I heard what was going on between you and that other girl, my perspective about life changed. I used to put you first in this marriage. You know I used to put your happiness first and everything else second, but the way you paid me back was very very cruel. I did a lot of thinking and for the first time I felt happy putting myself first. I forgave you the first time, God knows that. But that didn't mean that I trusted you. I didn't trust you and I had to find a way to trust you once again. If you don't know what lack of trust does to love then you have no idea. I discovered that I wasn't at peace and I can't live without peace. To clear my mind, I engaged the services of one Keke Napep rider and I paid him to tail you 24/7 and give me a record of everywhere you go".

Her voice was monotonous now, emotionless like that of a robot.

"He did this job for two weeks and reported everything you did to me. On one of the days, about a week ago, he tailed you to Central Hotel where you spent over three hours. I have the details down to the minute. It was the day I called you about that imbecile that was raped. Before you tell me that you went for a business meeting in the hotel, let me tell you that he called to report when you got there, he was with at the reception and he knows you booked into room 101. He also overheard you telling the receptionist that someone would be joining you in the room. He saw when the girl came to ask for your room number, and he saw her get into the room on the first floor. I know all these because he called and told me. And three hours later you came out of the room, got into your car and drove off, obviously leaving the girl in the room. That was when I called you, if you can remember".

Here she paused and looked at me. I was looking everywhere but at her. I could not. My mouth was dry, and I literally wanted to die. My mind was blank and I didn't know how to respond or what to say or how to defend myself. What was there to defend anyway? My life with Hanan was finished.

It frightened me to the point that I felt a pain in my heart. I remembered the exquisite joy of loving Hanan and my twins, and the anticipated feeling of the agony of losing them.

Why did my love have to end in pain? Why would it end with words? Why would it end in suspicion of things not done, and in the certainty of things done and remembered? Why would it end with cheating and selfishness and carelessness? There was so much pain, and the damage would never heal.

Hanan looked at me, then opened the car door, stepped out and closed it gently. I watched as she walked back into their house without turning back to look at me again. I had lost Hanan forever.

My name is Marwan, and this is my story. It's a story of how I lost everything that was dear to me. Hanan, my beautiful wife of seven years. Hassan and Hafsah, my beautiful twins.

I'm in hell now, as living without them is something I cannot bear. I'm in hell, and I'm burning up. My heart is on fire, I'm burning up.

This is my story, and I hope someone somewhere will find a way to talk to Hanan. Tell her I'm sorry, and that I regret my indiscretion. It was the work of the devil, and I've been living in bitter regret ever since. I will never do it again, I am sorry. I have no peace. Someone should please tell her that I love her, and I love my kids. But I'm in hell, and I need her to save me. This is my story…

The End.