When the Sky Falls

It's cold. It is so cold. I feel hot, salty tears swell in my eyes. Would they really care? Would they even cry? Who am I? Would they just forget what they did? These words rang in my head always. I see all those people I call friends, smile and laugh while I'm fighting my own mind. The yelling, the screaming, the flashbacks! Oh, the flashbacks! So abrupt! So real! The funny thing is that all I can do is paint a smile on and force a laugh. I grabbed the old tie from my closet and tied it to my ceiling fan. It should be sturdy enough, I thought to my self. While stepping on my red stepping stool, I tied the tie around my neck. I've attempted this thousands of times before, but this time was different. Somehow I convinced myself that I had nothing to lose. Before I knew it, the stool kicked over. I was somehow excited. Thrilled to be dying. To feel the tie slowly cutting off my circulation, to have my last wholesome breath. It made me smile. That was the first real smile in a long, long time. Slowly losing consciousness. BANG!! "Ow!!!!" I had fallen to the floor. Goddammit. The tie broke. Whatever! I thought. I decided to carve my skin away to pass time while I thought about how else I could die. Creeeeeeeeeeeeek...                                                                                                         SHIT