SoulFate

Death is for sure... But I never expected mine to be this soon. When wrong things that could happen at the very wrong time happens. It's the worst. I never wanted to make things this bad and painful. I was just scrolling my phone trying to catch up with the social environment, opening my old gram account that I used way back college. I saw you. You were smiling brightly, you were so handsome that I get to open your feed. I thought we're happy... Then why are you with her. All this time, I was busy trying to take care of your grandparents, not being able to take care of my own self... You were this busy with someone else. You didn't even mind the possibility that I might see these photos in your personal account, proudly posting your girl. What am I? We've beeb married for 7 years and this is all it is? Is this how it ends? I thought your cold responses are just due to your exhausting days and busy schedules. So the reason behind you, not attending your parents and your wife because you are busy entertaining someone else. What do you think am I... Who do you think I am in your life? Scrolled for more because I needed evidence to prove my speculations and there. I saw you with her, with rings that matches both your hands, the same design as mine. What the hell is going on. I can't seem to comprehend what is happening. My stomach hurts and my head is about to burst. I hope I'm just imagining things and mind to not come up with any kind of conclusions. I want to stop time right now and just breathe. I need time, it's so sudden, I can't take it, I cant take this. My seven years of marriage is a marriage I believe as one. But it was never a marriage if my husband is out there proposing for someone else's hand. Seven years or neglecting my presence as a wife, seven years of not respecting me and for betraying the vows of weddings. Nothing hurts the most when you're this naive, clueless of what really is going on. Preparing my stuffs to confront you, I noticed myself infront of the mirror, so out of shape. Thin and quite ragged, tired eyes and messy hair. I'm worse than beggars. I don't mind my looks I've got not time for this, I have to talk to him. Taking a cab, rushing to reach your company, I couldn't think of anything that being in pain. It hurts, my heart is beating so fast and I'm scared. I might do something stupid that I might soon regret, I can't seem to compose myself in a normal state but I have to. As I hurry to get inside some guards tried to stop me so I needed to confirm my identity in the fron desk. Telling the lady I am Nicolo's wife they're quite shocked. The lady told me he wasn't at his office and is now out for an important matter. I beg the lady to tell me where he is and with no choice she told me he's currently at this address she gave me. It's unfamiliar but it's within the city. I've wasted no time and hurried. Feeling nervous of what I might see or hear from him the taxi reached its destination. You can definitely say that this place is a village for privileged personalities. Looking and checking for the address I'm finally here. *Peep* *peep* A deliveryman gave me a box, said congratulations and just go. He must've thought that I'm residing here. The box is quite light and it says "Colour Fireworks Company" I pressed the doorbell and later the gate is opened. The house is big and fancy. I walked inside while holding the box to be delivered the door opened. Seeing the woman I saw online, with her wide smile and friendly face. She's beautiful and elegant. Unlike me, I clearly just looked like a delivery woman. "Omy! It's here!" " I can't wait to open this with fam! Come here, you can put the box here, I'm just going to call my fiance upstairs" she rushed while screaming a name so familiar. There I saw someone, walking down the stairs of gold while smiling, hugged the woman and they both walk towards me. "It's here! We're finally going to find out our baby's gender later at the gathering" she genuinely screamed her heart out. "Yes surely" the man replied and its eyes finally took its time to stare at me. He's shocked. He grabbed my hand and walked outside. The woman and I were both surprised of what he did. "Honey, I'm just going to pay for the delivery no worries I'll be back" he said so calmly. "Okay then, I'll prepare this for laters twist" she took the box and went upstairs. His grip is hurting me so I took my hands back. He's still holding tight and throw my hand which hurts my arms twofold. "What the hell are you doing here!" He said while looking so disgusted of what he's seeing. "What this" I composed myself while saying those words to him. "You know what? Yeah. This is my life now and you're out of it. To be honest I just used you because my parents wanted to get me wed so early. I've got no choice but to find a substitute while my real woman is studying abroad. You heard it right, now you're free. Do whatever you want." I lost my strength in an instant while hearing the words coming out of his mouth. I want him to stop because its hurting me. He must've been joking. Maybe today's april and he's just fooling. "Tell me you're lying right now." Couldn't stop my tears from falling. Remembering how happy we were before our marriage. How we... How I always follow him and fall head to toe of his being. Right, it was me who want him maybe he grabbed the opportunity to have me as his substitute. This can't be... It's can't be. All this time. All this time I was assuming. But we were clearly happy, we made love and we're surely I'm hundred percent sure that he loves me back. He brought flowers before and always greet me. He's warm before and he's not terrifying. He never raised his voice. He's gentle and he's a man. What on earth is happening. "Ha.. look, I was just pretending all these time. But I'm finally having a great era right now with my future wife and my future child. Can't you just stay away?" Is this the words that a wife should hear after living her entire life thinking that she's married, she's happy and she has family. "What about your grandparents?" I asked. "What grandparents? Those oldies are not even related to me. I just took them from the facility to get my act up" I wanted him to filter his words but what's being said is already said and done. I'm so confused, I'm so puzzled right now. It feels like the word is putting its weight on my shoulders. I can't anymore. I cant accept this. I can't, its too painful it's too shocking and it's killing me. I thought I was being a good wife all this time. But I was just actually being a good citizen taking good care of strangers. Is this really for real? What the hell is going on with me. When I was a child I've never even had someone to call on. My parents are busy fighting over their stuffs, hurting each other. No siblings and no friends. I always wanted to do a lot of things. But no one wants to befriend me. I've got so many plans but I can't make them real because I have no one. No one even congratulated me when I broke trough the toughest thing a child could ever experience. Broken family, no support, abusive parents and dark experiences. I never even know why the hell did I survived those times in my life. And now, I thought I'm already free from my unlucky phase. How can the world be so unkind to me. Is this really my fate? Was I born to become someone's accessory? Why... Just why...