The Twists Of Fate

The Bad News

My mom sounds inconsolable and I can't make out much of what she's saying. All I could understand is that Jake and his so called friend Phillip had been in a wreck. With tears choking my words I manage to ask if he's at the hospital begging her to just say he's okay. I still can't understand her and at this point I'm not only getting sad but I already know Jake didn't make it. Her boyfriend takes the phone and in the most dead soulless voice I'll ever hear tells me my brother didn't make it. When he asked I wanted them to come get me I lost it I didn't want to be anywhere near him with how cold he had just been.

I went numb I don't know how long I sat there after explaining the situation to my friends, and telling them it wasn't a joke nor was it something I'd find as a joke anyhow. My brother was gone my best friend and hero the one who never had to ask what was wrong or what I wanted for my birthday he just knew it always he knew. I could feel my heart just going empty and cold. My first thought was of my nephew's who now had to grow up without their dad and my heart broke all over again they don't deserve this. When both of my friends explained what was going on to my friend's dad he carried us to get food and then took me to my grandma's. I couldn't eat food didn't smell or look good. Walking into my grandmother's was so surreal my uncle asked how I was which if you knew my uncle you'd know that's completely not in his character. Uncle Albert sent me to check on Elizabeth said she was in bad shape. I know death makes people act differently but my uncle had really put me on edge with his new behavior. Walking into the dining room I find lizzie slouched over the kitchen table beer in hand quietly sobbing they were almost twins. Everyone thought they were at least they had 14 months between the two of them they were best friends.

I walk over to lizzie as I notice she has an empty pill bottle in the other hand and she's starting to foam at the mouth lizzie is 6'1 while I'm only 5'4 but in my panic I turned super human and jerked her up from the table and punched her in the stomach until she puked. Not the best method but it got the desired effect she was going to live. I pick lizzie up and carry her tony grandma's room it was a serious struggle. I toss her into the bed and head out of the room to get her fluids and on my way out inform everyone that there is no one to bother lizzie unless it's my grandma or our ex step dad. Dad goes in to check on her after I issue my warning he has always loved us like a dad so to me he's dad. I get a couple bottles of water and a Gatorade from the fridge and a make lizzie a sandwich. I carry all I've collected to her and dad while dad gets her to eat and drink I dip out. Everyone saw me take off I just couldn't handle much more at this point. I needed air I needed quiet. I walked to the car wash since it was super close to my grandmother's house. On my way friend and ex neighbor Angela caught me she had heard the news and didn't want me to be alone. Got to remember to thank her for sticking by me when I didn't even want to be near me she's the best. We sat there just taking in the sounds around us while she waited for me to want to talk or to cry whatever I needed in that moment she was there for. We talked a few minutes before my god Aunt Karen came pulling up to us in tears. I told her I'd survive while I may hurt I'm alive so it will get better or I'll cope. She asked where mom was I just pointed towards grandma's house finding myself out of words again. She took off for the house knowing right now her friend needs her. My uncle Shane was the next to find us and he threw me into the truck dragged me back to the house so he could inform my mom he was taking me and my stuff to his house. My uncle Shane has always been my favorite he understands me like Jake did. He knows I'll become the rock upon which everyone else stands and I'll drown never saying a word about what I may need.

I can already feel the loss of Jake everywhere I look is a memory. I keep reminding myself he's free he no longer has a worry no bills to pay no cheating wife to worry about he's the definition of free. As I sit there thinking I realized I should have been in the truck I would have been in the truck if they had picked me up and I finally start to cry. It's 3 am I yet to sleep still I can't how do you get comfortable and sleep when your whole world just got flipped upside down? Cary comes in worried it's he's my uncle's middle son and my favorite cousin. He sits down with me on the couch and the brings out food I hadn't seen him holding. He knows me well and knew I hadn't eaten. He forced me to eat and then tucked me into the couch promising to stay by my side. In case the night terrors started. That's always been the worst thing about being different. If someone close to me passes violently or in a manner they didn't want I have the worst night terrors for months after like they are trying to talk to me.