Regrets II

Savannah Grace - The Phone Call

I feel giddy, I didn't expect a phone call from Brayden. I figured he'd just email me back and we'd exchange a few pleasantries just to catch up and that would be it. It seems that we are playing phone tag but just knowing that we've connected again feels like a part of myself that I didn't even realize was missing for the past 15 years has been put back together. It's a strange feeling that I can't describe, I feel... whole again. Even through everything, Brayden and I were always friends, it will be nice to have that friendship back again.

"Mommy go go?" Bentley asks crawling in my lap.

"Yes, baby, we are going to go go in a few minutes. I'm going to drop you off with Daddy so I can go to my appointment."

"Dada!"

Even though his boy is 100% a mama's boy, he sure does love his daddy! Riley is a good Christian man. He loves us more than anything in this world. Although I wonder what would have happened if Brayden and I had stayed together, I know that God put Riley in my life for a reason. We've been through a lot in the 5 years that we've been married, most stuff that would have ruined a relationship a long time ago but we got through it together. Having Bentley was the best thing that ever happened to us. Every relationships have their ups and downs but somehow we have gotten this far already, we usually face the hardships that we have faced together.

"Bentley! It's naptime!"

Naptime is my favorite time of the day. You know how people always say 'sleep when the baby sleeps'? Well, I take full advantage of that saying.

"Sleepy mommy?"

"Yes, baby, mommy is sleepy too!" I tell him as I put him in bed with me to snuggle. He is the most snuggliest child you'll ever meet and I love every second of it. He's also a really good sleeper which is nice too.

"When we wake up, it'll be time to go see daddy!"

He has a big grin on his face. "Night night mommy. Love you".

"I love you too sweet boy" I give him a kiss as I lay down next to him. Watching him sleep is my favorite thing to do. It doesn't take long before he's fast asleep. I stare at his beautiful face with his gorgeous long eyelashes and thank God once again for my tiny miracle. I fall to sleep not long after.

Bentley is my miracle baby for so many different reasons. I've wanted to be a mommy for as long as I can remember. I never really knew how to respond to the question, "what do you want to be when you grow up" because I knew what type of answer that people typically wanted but that wasn't the true answer I wanted to give. I was in and out of many failed relationships and never thought I'd fine the right one. To be honest, I was beginning to think my only chance at love had walked right out the door the day Brayden left my dorm all those years ago. I know that I probably compared a lot of my past relationships to him or picked guys subconscionsly that I knew would not work out but I really did want to find the one I'd marry and have children with. When I finally met Riley, I couldn't believe it. It all seemed too good to be true. We were both older by the time we got married and planned on trying for our first baby in about a year. But life had other plans and it wasn't until we had been married for about 3.5 years and I had almost given up hope that I would ever be a mommy, our sweet little preemie was born. He gave us the scare of our lives as he wasn't breathing at birth. Thank God that after a week in NICU, which felt like forever to us, he was finally ready to come home to officially be a member of our household.

After a good 2.5 hour nap, Bentley is up giving me kisses as usual.

"Hi mommy! Go go!"

"Hi my sweet boy, how did you sleep? Yes, as soon as we get you a snack and change your diaper, it will be time to go!"

After we load up and are on the road, I pull out my phone and try Brayden back.

"Hey!" I hear on the other end of the phone.

"Hey! I'm glad we finally got to connect!" I said.

"Me too, I'm on my way home from work, you caught me at the perfect time. Man I've missed your voice. I could still pick that sweet voice out in a crowd."

I blush thankful not to be on a video call. "It's so nice talking to you, how have you been?"

We spend a good part of the 30 minute drive to Riley's work catching up. I pull into the parking lot and I know I have to end the call soon or I'll be late for my appointment but not wanting to let him go just yet.

"I've made it and have to let you go now but it was so good catching up." I said.

"You too!"

"Next time you're in town, we should get together."

"Definitely, I actually think I may be passing through sometime in the next couple weeks."

"Sounds great! Just let me know and hopefully we can plan something, it's been too long."

"I agree, I'll talk to you soon, bye Savannah Grace."

"Bye" I said hanging up the phone.

I get out of the car, unbuckle Bentley and head towards the entrance to meet Riley with s smile on my face.