Wishing You Were Him

Rachel's POV It was that Monday morning, I was about to go to the office despite the hurt I can still feel on my chest. Rafael has stopped talking to me for a week after he clearly said we have no future together and we need to finally end whatever we had. I had no idea, I desperately said that I can't and will never understand why he did that. We were happy despite of his busy schedule being the President of the company I've been working in. We've been together for 6 years and I can't easily accept whatever reason he has. "Rachelle, please cancel any scheduled meetings sir Rafael has for this afternoon." Emily said as soon as I reached my office desk. "Why? Does he has more important appointment other than closing a deal with Mr. Abuel?", I asked out of curiosity of what's making him more busy. After all, he was my ex-boyfriend. "It's not more important. Rather, the most important among everything he has right now. Just do what I say." Emily left after saying those words. I was having my lunch in the canteen when I saw bunch of employees gathering together in front of the TV. I barely heard what the news is all about but after they spread out, I saw a very familiar faces showing on the screen. "This is actually unexpected. From we all know, you have a girlfriend outside of the business industry. And we never heard that you were dating Ms. Sabrina." reporter said. "I've never dated any girl aside from Sabrina." Rafael said. "It looks like you're really in love with each other. So now that you are engaged, when are you planning to get married?" reporter said while pointing at Rafael and Sabrina holding each other's hand. I was surprised. I suddenly felt something crashing on my chest. I can't move. I can feel the heat from my eyes trying to prevent my tears from falling. I left the canteen and went to the rooftop of the building. I didn't even notice that I was already crying as I go up. I didn't even notice I took the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Now I understand the reason why he broke up with me. Now I understand every why's. I was filled with hatred. I can't accept the fact that after all the efforts I've exerted to make our relationship work, he still chose somebody over me. Who am I to complain? I was just his secretary while Sabrina has everything a woman could ever wished for. I am nobody. So now everything is clear to me. Right after I returned to my desk, I plotted a one-week leave. I can't take any more days of being with him in the office while I feel hurt. I need to take a break. I packed my things for my vacation going to Hansville. I started driving while trying not to think about Rafael. I've reached my destination and started to plan activities for the whole week just to forget all the stress I've been through for the past few days. Three days have passed and I still don't know what to do to completely move on. I know one week is not enough for me to do that but I'm doing all the ways I can to stop thinking about him. I thought I was having at least a little progress until I saw him on the other side of the street. He was laughing. He seems to be enjoying everything he has right now. I was supposed to be happy for him but I can't. I don't think it's fair. I've been living my life for the past 6 years doing everything to make him happy and this is what I've got in return. I never thought this would happen. He has never been like that. I can't help but to think, what was I to him? Did he really love me or he was just bored with his life that's why he pursued me? Am I not worth it? Am I not deserving? Am I not enough? All those questions were running through my mind every day. I stopped staring and turned my head away from him. I started walking a few steps until I felt someone pushed me to the side of the road. "Are you trying to kill yourself??!" He said it in a very irritated voice. That's when I realized I was about to get hit by a truck. I looked at him and was surprised to see it's Rafael. "W-what are you doing here?" I uttered in a shaking voice. "What are you talking about? Why should I not be here? I'm living here, of course I will be here!" I can't understand why he seems to be so irritated with me as if I was the one who did him wrong. He even wants me to believe he's living here that's why he's here. Am I really that fool to him? "Oh yea right. The last time I checked, you live in Seattle. You don't have any reason to come here. And you know what? Instead of stalking me here, why don't you just prepare for your grand wedding with Sab?" He grinned at me and say, "What a crazy girl. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't even know you so why would I stalk you? I think you better go back now to whatever planet you came from, take your medicine, and sleep. The next time you'll be crossing the road, make sure you have your caretaker with you." My reflexes automatically reacted to what I've heard. I suddenly slapped him in the face using all the force I had during that time. I completely lost my senses and I wasn't able to control my feelings. I can feel my emotions that was about to explode any moment. "You really disappointed me! What did I do to you to deserve all these? You're completely a bastard! From now on, I will never ever contact you again! It's all clear to me now. I'll do what you've been wanting me to do all these years. I'll stay away from you and I'll forget about you. I know it will satisfy you if I'll completely get lost from your life. If that's what you want, that's what I'll give you." I walked out right after I say those words. My hands are shaking and I feel my eyes trying to stop my tears from falling again. I can feel my heart slowly crashing. It hurts...a lot. But I need to accept everything now. It's over. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rafael's POV It's our engagement day. I was wondering what she's doing. If she's coping up. I know I've hurt her a lot. But this is what I chose. This is what needs to be done. This is for the good of the company. All through out the party, I know I was lost. She's everything on my mind and I can't help but to think about her. I know it's not easy. This is what everybody believes that's right. "But is that what would really make you happy?"Justin asked. I was out of words. I don't know what to say. I was silenced for a while until I saw Sab talking with my business partners with a smile on her face. "I'll surely learn how to love Sab." I told him. He simply smiled and raised his glass for a toast. After he walked away, I was left staring at Sab. I was thinking if that's really the life I want to have. I've been successful for all these years and Rachelle has been there when I was just starting to build what I have right now. I was struggling to prove myself to everyone and been a failure too many times but she never left my side. She was my childhood best friend and the only girl that I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I think I've been too greedy to achieve more than what I currently have. I forgot what I promised to her that I would marry her once I become successful but I've never been contented with all the achievements I had. I always feel the urge to achieve more that I forgot that I have Rachelle. I left the party without saying goodbye to anyone. My mind is full of thoughts and I'm so confused so I drove as fast as I can without knowing where to go. That moment when I felt tired driving, I stopped and realized I was in front of a secluded mansion. I opened the gate and I entered the mansion. I was able to breathe deeply and relaxed while thinking about the things that I really want. I love Rachelle, but I need Sabrina to expand our business territories and of course, to remain on top of all the competing companies. I can't just walk away with my obligations and be with Rachelle. But is that what really important to me? Being on top rather than being with the the woman I love? I know I'm not gonna be happy if I'm with Sab having all the achievements and popularity I have as much as I've been happy and will be with Rachelle. I clearly know what would make me happy but it's not that easy to do it. A lot of people are depending on me especially my family and besides, they are not agree with the idea of me being in a relationship with Rachelle cos of course they know, that won't be beneficial to our company's growth. I would get almost everything I need in life if I'm with Sab while I can only be happy with Rachelle. I'm really confused. I think my mind is going to explode any time soon if this thinking would go further. "How I wish I'm just an ordinary man living an ordinary life without much responsibilities, and without having the need to maintain a status like what I have right now. How I wish I can freely be with someone that would make me really happy in life." It was nearly dawn when I got home. After thinking back and forth, I realized that I don't need to choose anything or anyone. I'm already a successful man and I don't need any help from the other company to maintain it. I believe in my capabilities that I can get everything I want all at the same time so I've decided to do what I want all along. I think it's time now to think about myself first and the things that would make me happy rather than thinking what would maintain the company's image including mine. "Emily, please cancel all my meetings first thing in the morning. I need to get something important back. And please make sure no one will contact me and disturb me the whole day." I called her to make sure nothing will stop me from winning Rachelle back. I am now determined to fight for her so I'll follow her in Hansville. I slept with a smile on my lips as I now have a peace of mind. I finally get through my senses of what to do. I'll just need to wait for a few hours until I get to see her again. I missed her...so much. I woke up and excitedly prepare to meet her again. I drove my car going to Hansville until I finally reached the place that her sister told me she would be staying in. I knocked on the door but no one's answering. I held the doorknob and realized that the door is open. I entered the house and saw opened books scattered in the table. She really is lovely. She remains the same and she never fails to amaze me every single way. I had a glimpse of the chapters she's currently on until something fell down to the floor that is inside the book. That was our first picture together. I picked it up and remembered all the memories we had since we were still bestfriends in 4th grade. She was a very brave child back then and I believe she still is. As I was about to check the other book from her table, I heard a car arriving. That must be her so I went outside to meet her. The moment I saw her, I rushed to her and hugged her tightly but she pushed me away and slapped me. "Who are you?? Why did you come out from my apartment?" she said. I wasn't surprised at all. I know she hates me right now and so I expected to receive that slap from her. Yes, I can understand why she is like that but I don't care. I have to do whatever it takes to win her back. "I know I've done the most terrible thing to you. You can slap me as much as you want but I just want you to know, that I will never give up on you and I will never leave you again. Please give me another chance, Rachelle." "Why did you know my name, you pervert! Oh my god. You stay there, I'm gonna call the police, you're a stalker and a pervert!" "What are you talking about, Rache?" I said it in the calmest way eventhough I'm confused. She didn't pay attention to what I've said and continue to call a number. "Hello? There's someone in my house, I need you--" I snatched her cellphone away from her ears and she stepped backward as I tried to take a step closer to her. "What's happening to you, Rache?! I know you hate me but please don't pretend you don't know me! Let's fix this." "Don't get closer, pervert. I'm serious. I know how to defend myself, I studied taekwondo and I'm not gonna hesitate in beating you up!" she said as she raised her arms to show that she's ready to attack me anytime and then she slowly took a step back and when she finally had a distance from me, she eventually ran back to her house. I was confused as I look at her entering her house. I really don't know what's happening and I don't know why she needs to act weird. As I turned my head facing her car, I saw a different face in the window reflection. THIS.IS.NOT.ME. I double checked and went to see my face in the side mirror and was surprised with what I just saw. THIS.IS.REALLY.NOT.ME. I slapped my face triple times. I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming. I closed my eyes, slowly opened it and looked at the mirror again. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! THIS NOT HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" --End of Chapter 1--