Dreams and Nightmares the story of Alexis

Chapter Five

                                                        Stranger things

It’s been well over a few months since my birthday. A day I can never forget, a day that marked the beginning of a new journey with Jamal. And it’s been so incredible; I can’t imagine not being with him now.

Our news spread like wild fire throughout nearly half the school. Why wouldn’t it? When Jamal is the much talked about exchange student. Most people only knows he’s in a relationship, they don’t really know who it is he is in a relationship with, just a few close friends of his and Mimi of course knows that I am the lucky girl, yes I said it, I am the lucky girl!

My name Alexis few months back, I felt like someone reached out into my chest and took out my heart and fed me with it. My head felt like it would explode because of a boy. I was in love. My heart finally became content and entered its rest when the same feelings were reciprocated. I am still Alexis, with ‘The nightmares’; they still haunt me every now and then; night after night but with Jamal by me they’ve become the least of my concerns

The time is 10.59pm, the night is old and yet I haven’t been able to sleep talk less of batting an eyelid. I feel so frustrated I’ve glanced towards the digital clock on the white wooden dresser for the 100th time now as though looking at it will bring back all the time lost. My sheets are all rumpled with all the tossing and turning and my duvet is half way on the floor. The pillows feel so uncomfortable that I fluff them over and over again. I lie on my chest which is my favorite sleeping position hoping that I can get some shut eye, all to no avail as my eyes fly open at the every little sound ;even the silent beeping of the clock at the strike of 11pm. I groan in frustration as I kick down the remaining part of the duvet.

The wind is still howling outside after the rains that just concluded. I can still hear little drizzling of rain on the rooftop. I hear thunder in the distance and the wind. The window blinds seem to be dancing to its howling tunes. Perhaps a distraction from wondering why I can’t sleep will actually make me fall asleep. So I cast my gaze on the window blinds gently swaying to the rhythm of the wind; the pink hues changing with each shadow cast by the light. Swaying even more gently this time. A tune is playing in my head as I am gently getting an urge to sleep. Slowly I peacefully drift off…

But then again my eyes suddenly fly open at a strange sound so loud I nearly fall out of the bed almost immediately. “What was that?” I think to myself still in shock.

I look around the room but still I see nothing out of the ordinary. I am beginning to feel all sweaty in my silk pajamas with my heart still trying to recover from beating so fast. Finally I muster up courage and decide to step down from my bed and do a proper inspection. The mattress grunts as I shift position, slowly I wear my furry slippers and climb off the bed.

First, I check underneath the bed, I don’t know why that came to me first. Nothing. Nothing in the chest either. So where? Still wondering, I hear the sound again, this time it is continuous and I can finally trace its direction and find out who or what is making such sounds.

After much speculation, I realize the window is the last place I haven’t checked and by all means is where the sound is coming from.

Clink!… clink!… clink!… like the sound of a bird tapping my window so I summon up the nerve to walk towards it and gently inclining my ear towards it I discover that the sounds have been coming from there all along.

However there’s just one thing left. Find out whatever is making the sounds and deal with it. So I hold the cord on the window blind and I pull it up to give me full access to the glass window, in that very moment the lights go out as though pulling the cord triggered it off. It takes about 10 minutes before the backup generator comes on and just then I figure out the sounds have stopped. I look in to the glass window and someone is standing behind me. It’s dark but I can still see a shadowy reflection that isn’t mine right behind me. In fear I gasp and turn around abruptly just in time for the lights to come back on and there is no one there. I look at the glass window again but still I see no one. Maybe my imagination after all.

The sounds resume and it’s driving me crazy that I am yet to find out the source. I peep down the window and I see someone bending as though picking something from the ground and when the person straightens back up again I see… Jamal?

What is he doing here by this time of the night? My thoughts give me no answer so I wave at him.

“What are you doing here?” I whisper down to him from my now open window “It’s so late”

“I needed to see you, I couldn’t sleep” he replies almost inaudibly “I miss you”

It’s almost like a scene from the classical ‘sound of music’ or Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet; bashfully I smile and answer him

“You would’ve called instead then”

“Being together with you is better than a thousand words and you know it” he says cheerily “let me in”

“Hold on let me open the door” I reply in whispers “But you have to be extremely quiet, Mom’s sleeping”

I quickly go downstairs in few quiet steps to the front door and I unlock the door to let Jamal in.

He follows me up the stairs to my room and shuts the door behind him and we begin talking

“Where’s mum?” he asks taking a seat on the bed

“She’s asleep”. I reply taking the spot right next to him on the bed “she doesn’t make it past ten in the night”

“So you can’t sleep huh?!” He asks “If not why are you still awake”

“You’re right”. “I’ve been awake since”. “Haven’t been able to sleep at all”. I continue

“It’s like am at war with sleep today”

“Enough about me”, “How was basketball practice?” Jamal seems distant in thought until I nudge him back to reality.

“Huh?” “Oh basketball?” “It was cool, made the team”

“Nice”. “Congratulations” I reply beaming up with excitement. His success is after all mine too. But Jamal still seems distracted, so I tenderly touch him by the arm and he looks up at me.

“Babe?” “You seem distant”, “what’s on your mind?”

“Nothing” He replies “it’s nothing”

Like a switch Jamal quickly changes his countenance from a bit gloomy to all shades of excitement and happiness.

I know there’s something on his mind but I just decide to go with the flow believing he’ll talk to me when he is ready.

We talk some more for over an hour and I begin to doze off. All I can remember is Jamal talking but I can’t recall whatever he is saying. His words sound like lullabies. Jamal was the remedy after all to my temporary insomnia. Slowly I dose off until I finally my eyes shut off in sleep. Suddenly my open my eyes yet again. I wipe my eyes to make sure I am not dreaming and I notice Jamal has fallen asleep too by my side. How was he able to sleep so fast before me? I can hear his calm breathing; he looks so peaceful sleeping and handsome too, I could just run my hands through his hair. No that would wake him up. I try to turn over and that’s when I notice he’s holding me to him. How do I move without stirring him?

I experiment loosening his grip on me but to no avail; he stirs a bit and tightens his grip even more. I try one more time; this time shifting out from his grip. He stirs, mutters something and turns to the other side of the bed going back to sleep again and has his back against me. I smile at my success also the way he’s curled up is amusing. I climb down the bed into my slippers.

I need to get some warm milk downstairs. It should help me sleep better.

Outside the room I gently shut the door so as not to wake Jamal and Mom. They don’t have to be awake just because I can’t sleep. I walk across the hall to check in on mummy. She is sound asleep. I quietly take the stairs down to the kitchen. It seems so dark I switch on the lights while picking up a mug. I pick up the milk carton from the refrigerator and pour its contents into the mug and place it in the microwave oven on a timer of 30 seconds to heat up.

The microwave timer goes off and I take out the mug and take a sip. Oh yeah, that’s the stuff I take another sip this time almost a gulp. I should go back upstairs to Jamal. So I take the stairs again back upstairs .Half way up the stairs I feel a presence in the parlor. I turn around and I see nothing. Quickly something moves past me but I can’t really tell what it is. It’s probably my imagination or it could be Roscoe I think to myself. Scanning the dark parlor for the last time, I continue my trip upstairs, straight into my room where Jamal is still sleeping curled up in the same position as I left him.

Taking a final sip on the warm milk, I place the mug on the dresser beside my bed and take my place on the bed my back against Jamal and my face to the bedside lamp. I reach out to pull the cord of the lamp, about to turn it off. Immediately Jamal stirs and I feel him holding me from behind. His hands curl up against my bosom and I shyly withdraw from him but he draws me even closer that I can feel him breathe on the back of my neck. He whispers in my ear

“Turn off the lights Alexis”

Without uttering another word I obey and move in closer; while he holds me tighter my pulse increases in excitement. I could savor this moment forever but I’d rather revel in it now. It’s as though Jamal can read my thoughts because he’s totally latched onto me and is sending soft caressing messages to my frame. He knows every part of me. My body is not a new course to him and he knows exactly where and how to navigate. His legs are entwined with mine and with great care he grazes my neck with his stubble sending shivers down my spine. The kiss he plants just beneath my hairline sends me melting in his embrace.

Still in the heat of excitement I am drawn back to my senses, Mom is sleeping in the next room. This is totally inappropriate Alexis. What if mom walks in on us? Of course she knows Jamal but do you think she’ll give you an accolade if she catches you both in this compromising position?

“Jamal?” I manage to whisper “We shouldn’t”

“Why not?” he replies in a slightly agitated tone I would’ve sworn it wasn’t him that spoke

“It’s not right”. “Mom is in the next room”. “What if she walks in on us on one of her routine checks?”

Jamal laughs mockingly in my ear “we won’t get caught, you worry too much”. “We’ll be as quiet as mice”

Still not convinced and sensing the mockery in his tone I try to twist myself out from his entanglement but he refuses to let go “I feel it’s quite disrespectful” “Don’t you?”

Jamal doesn’t respond but instead he grips me tighter and tries to force a smooch. I try to break free from his now hurting grip again and yet he won’t budge. At this point I am getting so uncomfortable that I turn to face him while calling him to order

“Jamal you’re hurting me.”

Just as I turn to Jamal, I notice that Jamal is actually not Jamal. The streets light reflecting into my room discloses to me someone else. I don’t understand, his touch and caress was totally Jamal. Well actually the Jamal in my dreams. His touch isn’t new. But his face is ;This isn’t Jamal then who is it?

I reach on to the bedside lamp to turn on the lights but he grips my hand and retracts it before I am able to.

I become so scared and begin to make a fuss. Jamal wouldn’t do such a thing; my breathing is so heavy as though my lungs are overweight.

“Who are you?” I manage to say “What do you want from me?”

No answer, but sinister silence. And then his actions begin to speak for he begins caressing me and I fight him with all my might. He continues caressing me in dexterity ever so intently that my will to fight him dies down. No! I won’t allow this. I open my mouth and scream for help

“Help!”. “Help!” I scream out in panic

“Mom!” I cry “Help me”

Somehow my actions seem to have riled him up because he’s pined me to my bed with one hand against my mouth. I suddenly realize how cold his hand is. The room is still dark only for the little stream of light from the street lights for me to tell it’s not Jamal In this room with me.

I haven’t been this scared in my life. This could be the end of me right now. I begin to sob while trying to put my thoughts together.

What could’ve gone wrong? I am sure I let Jamal in not anyone else and definitely not this familiar stranger. He must’ve sensed my fear because he is now taking advantage of it

“Who are you?” I ask again in tears “please don’t hurt me”

He lets out a wicked chuckle as he leans in for yet another smooch. I fight him but his presence seems so powerful that I feel a total drain of my strength. I fight for the lamp switch but I am over powered by his strength.. I try to move my body but I am numb all over he’s planted me to my bed I can’t move and he is right above me

I cannot feel anything but the heavy weight of his body over me. His carved, chiseled features seem familiar. My body is so acquainted with his touch it’s scary. As though he is in my head, he says huskily to me

“Don’t be scared, we’ve been down this road before”.

“Please let me go” I beg in tears still struggling. He laughs at my weakness and replies

“Not yet love, we’re not done”

I scream out yet again “Mom!”

This time I realize the words are caught in my throat and my tongue is so heavy it can’t make out any words.

This all seems like one really terrible dream i really need to wake up from.

That’s it! It’s just a nightmare! I could wake up!

I struggle with all my might but he seems persistently strong. He seems to have me effortlessly pined right down to the bed that all my struggle is futile. Seeing my hassle, he grabs my neck and then as though trying to caress it, he gently squeezes it occasionally, choking the life from me

However I keep reiterating in my mind it’s just a nightmare! I could wake up! It’s just a nightmare! I could wake up!

I begin to cough from lack of breath and he shakes me intensely I feel like my head would explode from lack of oxygen as I slowly drift into total darkness

Suddenly I don’t see the darkness again. The lights come on. I cough my eyes open and I feel a warm hand on my shoulder. Still coughing I push the hand away in disgust not knowing whose it is.

“Alexis are you okay?”

I look up and see Mom; she’s worriedly looking at me

“Alexis” “Are you okay?” She continues “I heard you coughing”

I hesitate for a moment, still recollecting my thoughts before I finally answer

“I am now”.

She embraces me and I see flashing images of the nightmare. I try to shake them away but they are so intense I am scared

“Thank goodness you’re okay”. Says Mom rubbing her hand up and down my back “I also heard you crying in your sleep”. “Luckily I was doing my normal routine checks and that’s when I heard you crying”. She continues “It was strange to me that you were asleep yet crying and struggling, the coughing also started”. “I figured you might be having one of them bad dreams and that’s when I woke you up”

“Am glad you did Mom”. I reply wiping off excess tears with the back of my hand “I’ve never been this scared in my life”.

“For a minute there I felt like I won’t wake up again”. The thought of that sends chills to my body that I shudder “can I sleep in your room tonight Mom?”

She abruptly breaks the embrace and looks at me bewilderedly “Don’t talk like that”. “Nothing will happen to you” she continues “Of course you can sleep in my room and you can tell me all about the dream”

Mom stands up from the bed and straightens her turquoise night gown while heading to the door. “I should heat up some milk for you, that should keep you calm through the night” she says as she takes one final glance at the room, I can see worry in her eyes

“Do you always sleep with your windows open?” she asks her eyes towards the pink blinds

“No I don’t” My focus shifted to the window too “How is that open?” I ask rhetorically

“Well maybe you left it open and it skipped your mind” she says moving to the window “pick up your blanket while I shut it will you?”

“I can see you also had some milk earlier” she continues “That should explain the mug on your bedside lamp table”

“Huh?” I reply in shock gazing at the mug sitting in the exact position as in the nightmare. I try to pin point the pieces together. I had milk in my nightmare after I let the ‘supposed’ Jamal in but I don’t remember getting up and warming up milk for myself in reality. How is this possible? Is it possible that what I felt was a nightmare might’ve actually happened in reality? No it can’t be. A trance maybe? If so, where then is Jamal? How do I explain the open window and the mug in exactly the same position as in the nightmare?

I must be going insane.

“Alex, Baby” Mom calls “Is something the matter?”, “you seem lost in your thoughts”

“Nothing Mom, just a glitch” I reply “The room’s beginning to spook me out can we leave now?”

The pleasant fragrance of Mom’s room is so comforting, I feel like I can finally relax. The mixture of potpourri and the cool air from the split unit is totally refreshing. And so is the mature play of colors here and there, just right for the change of environment I need to get my mind off any dreams or nightmares whatsoever. The artistry of this room is none in particular because while it’s vintage one day, another day its classic, it could even be a splash of colors sometimes. With mom’s an interior decorator she loves to show that passion and skill right in her home so she redesigns and redecorates with the changing months. Each month equals a new concept of colors and artistry for the room, little wonder the room is one among those listed in her catalogue. I remember Dad always having a problem with her ever changing artistry for the room; he would say her constant redesigning and rearranging makes things hard find.

While mom’s gone to get some milk and probably Horlicks too I take out time to do a little mind analysis, Of course it would mean me remembering the horrible nightmare but it will be worth the sacrifice. I guess

Point number one, I heard clicking sounds in the nightmare so I went to the window where I saw Jamal. We spoke a little while before I let him in, so obviously I opened the window to talk to him, I wouldn’t have spoken through closed windows that explains the open windows.

Two I warmed up some milk in the microwave oven in the nightmare before coming up to meet the supposed Jamal that sure explains the mug beside the bedside lamp table. However one thing makes everything so bizarre, if I did all these things in the nightmare why then I am seeing evidence of them in reality. Did I sleep walk? That’s ridiculous, I never sleep walk

This only leads to one scary final conclusion; I was attacked by something or someone obviously posing as Jamal. Still deep in thought, I ask myself what of those other dreams I’ve been having and have had prior to my 14th birthday? Could it be something or someone also posing as Jamal?

The possibility of that alone gives me goose bumps.

Mom steps in just in time to distract me from my thoughts. She has a saucer with a large mug on it

“Here you go dear” she says delightfully “A large cup of Horlicks”. “It will work better than warm milk”

I sit upright with my back against the head rest as she approaches the bed with the almost brimming cup. I take a sip and set the cup gently over the bedside dresser to prevent any spill on the white Egyptian cotton sheets.

“Thanks Mom” I reply “You’re the best”

“You’re welcome dear” she continues while getting in the king size bed. “Now, do you still want to talk about the nightmare you had or should we just let it be?”

“No thanks Mom, I feel better now so I’d rather forget about it” I reply sipping on some more Horlicks.

“Okay darling, whatever you say” she replies heaving a sigh “But sweetheart, don’t you think by now we should’ve consulted someone over these nightmares you keep having?”. “I brought it up once but you Dad totally refuted the idea”

“Someone like a psychiatrist?” “A psychologist?” I reply “No way Mom”. “If word gets out that I am seeing a psychiatrist people will think I have mental issues”. “I can’t risk it”

“Don’t worry Mom, I’ll be fine”. “They’re just dreams” I know very well they aren’t just dreams but what good will it do if both of us are worried sick about the same issue.

“Alex seeing a psychiatrist doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re sick or have mental issues”. “It’s just us taking precautions, so that later we don’t regret not taking this decision early enough” she then rubs my back “I am sure you understand honey”

“Of course I do Mom, but I assure you that we won’t regret”. “Seriously I am fine”. “Now go to sleep, your eyes are beginning to look all puffy”.

She smiles at me and tucks herself in; amidst the smile I can perceive worry

“Goodnight dear”. “Don’t stay up too late”

The next day at school everything seems to be moving so fast. We are already half way into the day and everyone is already tired. Well you can’t blame the students. The weather is generally gloomy today. My mind hasn’t been off the dream I had yesterday. I am a bit scared and very curious about what happened last night. However I won’t let that ruin my very beloved subject computer science. It has always been one among my favorite subjects because for one I always get a distinction in it, secondly the teacher is very interesting; not everyone was born to teach but Mr. Simon was born with a chalk and duster in his hands. He has the super ability to teach and impart knowledge to even the dullest of students. He makes even the toughest topics seem so easy; and thirdly and most importantly, we get free Wi-Fi during computer practicals. I mean who doesn’t love that. Need I add that he is young and handsome and has a great sense of style? Today he is attiring a pair of skinny blue jeans; black leather boots which are no doubt Aldo’s; a white shirt and blazers to match.

“Okay class having understood the concept of programming shall we head to the computer lab?” He calls out clicking the white board marker while picking up his books.

The whole class jumps up in excitement.

“In an orderly fashion please” he calls out “Two straight lines”

“Quietly please”. He calls out yet again this time sternly. But what he doesn’t know is that it is really hard to tame this wild crowd “No talking”

“Hey you!” “Bolaji, I said no talking”

“Alright then let’s move”

The computer lab is located just across the science lab; a well ventilated room that could pass as our second classrooms if not for its serene properties. The fresh smell of the rich wooden cubicles instead of desks; the computer systems per cubicle and then there’s the air conditioning units always on full blast. Just what I need for a time off. In the lab I have a certain niche that I love to stay at; it has one amongst the most efficient computers in the lab. That way I get to do whatever it is I want on the internet without having any issues; it is also a great hiding spot. As we arrive the lab, I hurriedly stroll straight to that particular spot.

“Okay everyone let’s get settled down”. “I’ll be going from one computer to the other I’d like to see you all demonstrate what we’ve learnt in class so far”. Says Mr. Simon pacing up and down the aisle while checking each student’s work.

I start my work on the computer system and it’s not long before I finish and am waiting for Mr. Simon to approve of the work but its taking him forever to reach my row.

I am so tired of waiting; I could doze off right there in the computer lab. That won’t be right. If there’s anything Mr. Simon hates is a student sleeping in his class. He just doesn’t tolerate it.

Waiting there doing nothing is taking a toll on me and it’s not long before my mind goes on a wandering escapade. I wonder what Jamal is up to; what subject could he be taking now? Is he also thinking about me the way I am thinking about him? I can’t believe it’s been 4 months already. Not just any 4 months but full of bliss and companionship. Just then the events of yester night flashes through my mind. I have never been this concerned about dreams I’ve had in the past or even present the way I am concerned about this particular one. What could be so peculiar about this one? Perhaps the fact that it looked more real than ever or the fact that I was almost choked to death; or the fact that Jamal wasn’t actually Jamal in my dreams. Scarier, what if the intimate moments I shared with Jamal in those dreams want actually with Jamal but that person, that almost choked me to death yesterday. I don’t even know who or what it is. I get this unusual hunch that I don’t like. It could be a scary creature and an unfriendly ghost just like a horror movie.

I don’t like where my thoughts are headed. A little distraction should help so I decide to browse my thoughts back to reality. However as though compelled somewhat I type in the search box ‘dreams and nightmares’ and I begin reading the relevant articles. I read the works of many renowned psychologists. They give an explicit scientific explanation of dreams, how and why we dream; the activities we do in our dreams; why we do them Etcetera. However this is more of science at work. Scientists will always seek for an answer or scientific explanation to everything but I am very certain that this is beyond science. I like to believe that there is a world out there beyond scientific comprehension or knowledge itself. And for some reason I’d like to believe that whatever attacked me yester night and other nights is beyond scientific explanations and proofs altogether.

I scroll down with the optical mouse that seems to respond illuminating to my touch; there are more articles. It is like a never ending abyss, as I open one article I am drawn to other sub articles that interestingly all seem to say something on the subject matter. Interesting! it is as though the articles were actually meant for me or somehow knew I would check them today so they made themselves readily available for me to Peruse. Still keen on getting a reasonable explanation for the events of yester night I scroll down the page and click on another article, just then in the article I am drawn to a highlighted word. Incubus. So I drag the cursor onto the word and click on it; the first word I see is demon! I am totally taken aback at first but then I summon up strength to read on after all If I want to get to the bottom of this there has to be no holding back whatsoever.

I sigh loudly as I move the cursor on the scroll bar to view more of the article. No holding back now Alexis the words reads thus;

Incubus; demon in male form that seeks to have s****l intercourse with sleeping women; the corresponding spirit in female form is called a succubus. In medieval Europe, union with an incubus was supposed by some to result in the birth of witches, demons, and deformed human offspring. The legendary magician Merlin was said to have been fathered by an incubus. Parallels exist in many cultures. The word incubus is derived from the Latin incubus (“nightmare”) and incubare (“to lie upon, weigh upon, brood”)….

. Oh my God! What am I looking at right now? This is not possible. It’s not true. I wasn’t attacked by a demon was i? Am I possessed? With my questions unanswered I stare transfixed at the monitor screen as though I have seen a ghost. More so when I continue reading this paragraph

…In modern psychological usage, the term has been applied to the type of nightmare that gives one the feeling of a heavy weight or oppression on the chest and stomach…

Oh my God! I was attacked by an incubus. But why? How? Didn’t you have to be evil or a witch to have something to do with a demon? In some scary movies it always had to do with some generational curse of some sort. So why on earth did it have to be me? Why?

Perusing related articles I feel like I am in a totally different world. I am startled at how many stories of Incubus attacks I see and how similar the stories are to mine. The information is disturbing; could this mean that I have been under demonic attacks all this while? I am in total denial. How can something that good be so evil. For a moment there I thought Jamal and I were meant to be since I saw him all the time in my dreams.

Just below the article there is a related video and I am about to click it open when I hear a voice above my head.

“Yes?” “And where is your work?”

I didn’t notice time pass so fast and Mr. Simon is right beside me asking about my work. Well luckily for me I finished that long ago. So with one click of the mouse I quickly change windows to the class task. He bends his tall stature to the level of the monitor screen. One hand in his pocket and the other on his chin. A posture of his we’re used to. We call it the ‘trying to figure it out posture’. A couple of our best class clowns have even imitated his posture for fun

“Hmmmmm”“Nice Job Alexis” says Mr. Simon

“Thank you sir” I answer proud of my Job well done and trying hard not to bother myself with all I have just read in the past hour.

Haven passed my cubicle Mr. Simon attends to a few more students and then walks on to the front “Okay guys, that’s a wrap”. “I’ll see you all next week”. He continues “And those that didn’t pass the tasks please consult your mates for clearer explanations”. “And please guys be nice to each other when explaining”

With that he takes majestic steps out the door and then shuts it behind him.

During recess I am unable to eat my lunch. I stare in disgust occasionally at the food although it is my favorite order. I sigh deeply as I recline back in the chair still unable to touch the food.

“Anyone order a bf”

I turn abruptly at the familiar sound. It’s Jamal

“Hey”. “Am glad you’re here”

“Hey?” “Why the long face?” “And you haven’t touched your favourite lunch, burger and fries!”

“Something must really be up with you”. “You mind sharing?”

I don’t think I should let Jamal know about my recent discoveries and possible theories, he might think I am a freak. So I lie “Nothing’s up Jamal, am fine”

“Alexis, I know you’re lying”, “I can tell”. “So why don’t you tell me”. He seems so concerned right now; he also won’t touch his food. I look up at him wondering if he would understand anything I try to explain at all. He may begin to see me in a totally different light not in a good way. The thought of this is over burdening to my mind that I sigh heavily.

“Hmmmm” “Jamal it’s not something you would understand”

“Try me” replies Jamal sipping on some juice.

“I don’t know Jamal” I start off to tell him but then hesitate. It’s harder than I thought. This is not saying ‘I have a crush on you, be my boyfriend’ kind of hard, its much tougher

“Alexis I hope you know you can tell me anything”. “We’re friends remember, even more than friends” “And friends don’t judge”. “So please tell me what is it, your silence is killing me”

“Okay Jamal, I will tell you”. “But first you have to come with me to the computer lab”.

“Okay”. “But why the computer lab?”

“I chose the computer lab because there’s something there I need to show you and whatever it is I want to tell you is top secret”. “I can’t risk the chance of anyone else knowing”

“Alright then”. “Well let’s get going, you’re beginning to sound scary”

As we enter the computer lab we are greeted by the cool blast of air from the split units. Jamal shuts the door behind us and follows me as I lead him to my niche. The lab is very much empty as students are mostly in the cafeteria on recess; teachers retreated in the staff room with no one to order around. Jamal takes one final scan of the room before turning back to face me.

“So, what did you want to show me?” says Jamal taking the seat right next to mine while I reboot the computer system.“I can’t seem to see anything out of the ordinary in the computer lab”.

While the system is taking its time to boot, I turn to face Jamal. Imuster up all the courage I’ve got left and say “Jamal ever since we started dating you haven’t been intimate with me right?” “I mean we haven’t err…like… err… had s*x with each other”.

“Yes?!” he replies with a more serious countenance this time “where is this headed?”

“Why?!”

“Well for starters I feel others things have priority in a relationship like trust building, and also by my principles I won’t compromise you in that way until I’ve actually decided to put a ring on your finger”.

“Oh wow!” I reply awkwardly while picking my nails. “Well, I have a confession to make”

“We may have gotten intimate”

“What?!”

“Yes we have”. “In my dreams though” I sigh out loudly “you know before we became an item, when I saw you in class on the 3rd of June 2012”. “I remember it vividly because it was the same day I lost my dad”. “But that’s not the point”, “ever since that day I’ve been fantasizing about you”. “These fantasies became so strong they developed into dreams and now nightmares”.

“I can’t begin explaining exactly what we were doing in these dreams, but in these dreams, you’re there holding me lovingly and so sensually a times I doubt it’s all a dream”. “I used to feel it was you and go along with the way the dreams made me feel until yester night”. I suddenly lower my voice to mere whispers “I was attacked”

Jamal cringes his eyebrows, there are lines of anxiety on his forehead “What?!” “Attacked by whom?” “Does your mom know about this?”

“Jamal calm down,” “she knows but she doesn’t know”.

“What do you mean?” He asks moving in closer to listen better.

“She knows I had a nightmare but she doesn’t know exactly what it was?” “I’d rather not tell her to avoid her worrying; she’s already talking about my seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist”.

“This dream, what was it about?”

I narrate the whole ordeal of last night to Jamal who is listening with rapt attention. I pause to look at him for a while. As though waiting for him to bolt straight out the door

“I thought they were just nightmares I usually suffer from, but they aren’t just nightmares Jamal, they are beginning to break out of my dreams into my reality”. I clutch myself “That’s what terrifies me”

“Wow!” Is all Jamal could say from time to time as though in cardiogenic shock. For a minute there I thought he would just go out the door and never look back. “so you say in these dreams I would always caress you and make love to you in the heat of passion and you thought it right to flow with it because you have a thing for me when we haven’t even gotten close in that way?”

“Yes Jamal”. I reply feeling so stupid “But then today I was checking the web and there’s this article relating to such behavior”. I open the saved link and the articles pop up. Jamal shifts closer to the screen to peruse along with me.

“Alexis after all being said and done, I think you should let your mom know all this”. “Let her in on all of this and don’t refuse any help she offers”. “You might not know how strong what you’re playing with is”

“I guess I should”.

“Guess you think I am a freak huh?” I ask unsure of his reaction

“Hey, hey”, “you don’t have to worry about anything”. “And no, I don’t think you’re a freak”. “Am glad you let me in on what’s troubling you”. “A problem half shared is after all half solved”

“Now wipe away that frown”. Says Jamal smiling reassuringly while he bends in for a hug “I love you”.

“When you tell your Mom makes sure you Keep me posted okay”. “I need to get back to class recess is over”

Later in the day at about evening time I’ve just finish dinner which I barely touched. I’ve been thinking about all Jamal said. But what if I tell Mom and she takes it the wrong way. How do I even begin tell her such a thing?

You just have to tell her Alexis, it’s the only way. I rinse my hands under the running faucet and pat my hands dry on the kitchen towel hanging on the wooden rack. Alright Alexis, here goes nothing I take a deep breath and walk out of the kitchen to the adjoining room and then up the stairs straight to her room.

Standing right in front of the door I hesitate, and then I knock and push in the door shutting it once I get it. I am greeted by the fragrances in the room as I walk to the bed. Mom is not in sight so I call out for her.

“Mom?!”. No answer so I call out again this time louder

“Mom”. “I need to talk to you”. “Actually it’s pertaining to the dreams and nightmares I’ve been…”

I am distracted by the sound of the flushing of the toilet. It happens she is in the bathroom. I am so tensed I begin to sweat nervously in my palms. Why on earth should I be this nervous? I haven’t done anything wrong, and by the way it’s Mom we are talking about here.

A couple of footsteps from the bathroom startles me, sending me back to reality and I turn towards the bathroom and right there at the entrance I see Mom’s silhouette. Immediately I jump to my feet as though the bed had become thorns and I walk towards her.

She seems to be smiling but why won’t she come out of the bathroom. Just then I notice something drop on the floor and another follows almost immediately. I look closely and to my greatest shock its blood! Why blood?

“Mom, what happened to you?” I ask trembling from head to toe “Why are you bleeding?”

“Mom?” My eyes are pulled to her neckline and that’s when I notice a long jagged cut from one end of her neck to the other. The once dripping blood has now formed little streams of crimson liquid flowing like water down a creek.

I can’t believe my eyes; still in shock I open my mouth and my words are caught in my throat; And just in that split second she falls into my arms and I collapse from the weight. Still unable to say anything out of shock I hear footsteps from the bathroom. The Killer! My heart begins to race as the approaching footsteps become louder until it stops.

I look up in horror, and standing right there in front of me, there he was my handsome nemesis in his birthday suit; his skin like a cup of latte, Majestic thighs likened to cedars of Lebanon and his chiseled features as though crafted by Picasso himself. His eyes carry the fire of passion and desire. His presence is overwhelming I cannot move I just sit there seething with anger and fear, Mom in my arms lying in the pool of her own blood. In fear I tighten my grip on mom when he looks right at me, his crooked smile mocking me.

I look at Mom’s now lifeless body. Taking her by the hand, it’s so cold I begin to sob “Mom”. “Please wake up”. “Mom”. But Mom is saying nothing, she is just lying there.

He draws closer and squats beside me and taking my face in his arms he plants a kiss on my lips possessively. Too weak to fight I succumb to his desires.

He whispers in my ear “you can’t get away from me”. “You’re mine”

His voice sends shivers down my spine. Maybe he is right after all. He’s taken everything from me. He might’ve possibly taken dad from me and Just when I was about to involve Mom, he’s also taken her away from me. I have no one