The Mafia and I

It was a mistake, You said, but the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you-David Levithan ____________________________________ Everyone suffers at least one bad betrayal in their lifetime. It's what unites us. The trick is not to let it destroy your trust in others when that happens. Don't let them take that from you-Sherrilyn Kenyon ___________________________________ The worst pain in the world goes beyond the physical. Even further beyond any other emotional pain one can feel. It is the betrayal of a friend-Heather Brewer _____________________________ I could never hurt him enough to make his betrayal stop hurting. And it hurts, in every part of my body-Veronica Roth _____________________________ I would rather my enemy's sword pierce my heart then my friends dagger stab me in the back-Michele Bardsley ____________________________________ It's hard to tell who has your back, from who has it long enough just to stab you in it-Nicole Richie ___________________________________ Lucy's POV I'm laying on the bed exhausted and tired after a long day and night at work. I'm in my pj's that I got from my parents when I saw them for Christmas last year. I'm tired and bored out of my mind with a glass of expensive red wine that I got from work for working over a year now that's in my hand and a book that I'm reading in my other hand. My laptop is next to my legs and it's opened fully wide with my time sheet and emails up on the screen. I sit up and I lean over the bed I put the glass down on the bedside table carefully so that it doesn't spill everywhere. The book that I'm reading is Fifty shades of grey I stop reading and I put the book mark back in the book so I don't lose the page that I'm on and I put it on the bedside table as well. I grab my phone which is also on the bedside table and I take it off the charger. I check the time on my phone and the time reads 7:30 pm June the 25th 2017. I also check to see if I have any messages or missed calls from anyone like from my two best friends Rose and Caleb. Nothing from them or from anyone else just my mother texting me again that I should come to the house next weekend and for Sunday night roast which they have every Sunday nightto visit her, my father and the family if I don't have to work or have plans with Rose and Caleb. The last time I visited my family which was for Christmas last year my mother and I got into a huge argument and it lead me to stop visiting them. I roll my eyes at her message that she sent me 5 minutes ago. I put her message in unread like all of the messages that she has sent me. I suddenly get another text and I'm glad that its not from my mother this time it's from my father. I smile at the message and it says that I should come to the house to visit him, my mother and the family next weekend and for Sunday night roast, he also asks how work and my book are going as well. I reply to the message with that I will come on the weekend and for Sunday night roast as long as she doesn't start work and my book are both going good. My father has for 4 years now been very supportive of me achieving my goals and doing what I want for myself as well. I'm glad that one of my parents actually cares about what I want and not what they want. My mother always sends me annoying messages about how I should start coming to the house again for the weekends and for Sunday night roasts to visit her, my father and the family like I used to before the argument that we had. I go into unread and I go through all of the messages that my mother has sent me these pasts months and I roll my eyes at all of them. Some of the messages are apologies for the argument that we had and the rest are like the one that she sent me an hour ago. My father accepts and understands that I don't want to be a lawyer or date or marry a guy who has wealth and status but my mother still hasn't. I don't think that she will change her mind anytime soon because if she doesn't I think that I might lose my relationship with her and I don't want that at all. Even though that I haven't seen and talked to her and my father for 7 months because of the argument that we had I still have a relationship with her. See in my family you have to go and complete high school, university and law school to be a lawyer. Or you have to marry or date someone who is from a rich upper class that has wealth and status not someone who is from a poor lower class family. But I don't want that because I will date or marry someone who I like or Love and care about whether they are poor or rich not for wealth and status. I'm not judging people who date or marry people who have wealth and status and I'm not saying that I'm against marriage or that I will never get married. It's just my parents marriage is just about work and being boring having no time for anything fun. They did used to have a passionate marriage for 10 years but that all changed when work became more important than their marriage, me and my brothers. See I want to be a famous writer so that people can see who I am. I'm writing a romance, mysterious, sexy and thriller vampire book it's about a guy who is a vampire and a girl who is a human. They meet and fall in love they go through things along the way and people try to tear them apart. Before I moved here to Los Angeles I had started writing my vampire book I haven't come up with a title yet but I will soon. After I had broke up with my ex fiance Jake I haven't stopped writing it. I haven't finished it yet either nor have I published it on w*****d or FicFun or on inkitt yet. Because I'm nervous and scared that no one will like it or want to read it but I guess I will have to risk it. I also want to own a book store as well because ever since I was 10 I've always wanted to own one. I really hate the fact that my mother still thinks that she can still tell me what to do even though that I'm 1,000 miles away from her. She wants to control me and my life forever until the day I die. My father has tried many times reasoning with her to change her mind but she just won't listen to him or to anyone else even my brothers have tried but nothing. My mother and I used to have a very close relationship before it got ruined a few months after I had turned 16. The reason why our once close relationship got ruined was because of a fight that my mother and I had. The fight that we had was about me dating my ex boyfriend Ryder and that I was an embarrassment to the family because he wasn't from a rich and wealth family. I called her a b***h and horrible and terrible mother that I hated her and that I wish she wasn't my mother. She slapped me and called me an ungrateful daughter. After the fight we had our close relationship was ruined and we stopped talking for 2 months. Because of the fight and also because she slapped me and called me an ungrateful daughter and me calling her a b***h and a horrible and terrible mother saying that I hate her and that I wish she wasn't my mother. After not talking for 2 months I talked to her she apologized for slapping me and calling me an ungrateful daughter and I apologized for saying I hate her, calling her a b***h, a horrible and terrible mother and that I wish she wasn't my mother. She forgave me for what I said to her and I forgave her for what she did and said to me. After we apologized and forgave each other we had relationship again but not like we had before the fight. I'm glad that after the fight we had that my mother and father didn't ask me to break up with Ryder because if they did I would have never spoken to them ever again. Our relationship is still a little rocky because of the fights that we have and also because of being a lawyer or finding a boyfriend or a husband thing. My mother wants me to be a lawyer like her and my father or find a husband and be a stay at home wife with a couple of kids. I think my mother still thinks that we live in the 1960's where women stay at home and didn't go to work well not all women were stay at home wife's just the rich ones. But we aren't in that era anymore because we are in the 21st century so that means women don't have to be married or be a housewife and have kids if they don't want to. But I don't want that yet because I'm still trying to figure out my future before I decide anything yet. 4 months after my 16th birthday before the fight that we had and before I met and dated Ryder and got dragged into the middle of a war between Ryder's gang and enemies gang which I will explain later. My mother had started to set me up on dates with all of her friends sons. Because she wanted me to be like other respectable young ladies that had boyfriends and knew what they wanted to do with their life. I would always try to get out of the dates but my mother would force me to go on them. So I went on the dates to shut her up and to make her happy as well. My mother always sends me annoying texts saying that I should start coming to the house again to see and spend time with her, my father and the family for weekends and Sunday night roasts. She also says that I need to quit my job and my book that instead I need to start focusing on looking for a husband or find a boyfriend who has wealth and status. Or go back to university and then law school to be a lawyer. I did go to university for a yeah but I dropped out because I wasn't enjoying myself and I also didn't like the classes that I was doing as well. That my waitress job and book because there both stupid and pointless that I will never become a successful writer or head manager in the future and that I should just give up now while I'm ahead. Because apparently I will get nowhere in life if I keep writing and being a waitress for the rest of my life her words not mine. It really hurts to know that your own mother who gave birth to you says that you will get nowhere in life with being a hopeless writer and waitress for the rest of your life. My mother says to me when I can be bothered answering her calls or answer her texts that I have been distancing myself from the family ever since I moved here to Los Angeles 4 years ago. I always make up excuses about why I don't go to the house anymore for the weekends and Sunday night roasts like I used to before the argument that we had. I either say that I'm busy working that weekend and that no one can fill in for me or that I have already made plans with Caleb and Rose and that I can't cancel them. Whenever I say that I can always hear the sadness in her voice when she says 'Oh ok sweetheart maybe next weekend' it always makes me want to go to San Francisco to see her and my father. But I just can't give into guilt and I won't be manipulated by my mother to come back home so that she can say 'I told you so'. I know that it's a harsh thing do to blocking and pushing her out the way I have. I only do it to make her back off a little bit about the whole marriage or finding a boyfriend and lawyer thing so that I can have some time to think about it before I decide anything. If I do decide to get married or even date again it will be my choice not anyone else's. I probably won't date again for awhile because of what happened with Jake and my ex-best friend Lilly. I love and care about my mother that won't ever change even though that she can sometimes be over bearing when I was growing up before I moved here to Los Angeles and when I used to visit her and my father before I stopped because of the argument that we had. I know that she just wants what's best and right for me but I know that looking for a husband or a boyfriend isn't what I want right now. Even though that I am an adult and that I make my own choices. I also block and push her away to try to make her understand that I'm not her puppet for her to control forever. I'm definitely going to San Francisco to see my parents and the family to see and talk to them about stuff that are going on in my life here in Los Angeles right now. I bet my mother will happy and I know for a fact that she might might say something that will probably end up in me and her getting into a argument like we did on Christmas last year but who knows. I haven't completely forgiven her yet because I'm still a bit angry at her for what she said to me in the argument we had. Plus I do need to talk to my mother to try to make her understand that I'm never going to be a lawyer or look for a husband or find a boyfriend. Because I will marry or date someone who I like or love for who they are not because they have wealth and status in society. I will also ask her to give me some space and time so that I can concentrate on my Job, my book and myself. I know that I haven't been a good daughter to these past 7 months but I'm only doing it because I'm trying to prove a point to her. I will keep trying to prove a point to her until she gets it but if it doesn't work then I guess that I will have to give up trying all together. I plug the charger back into my phone and I put my phone back on the bedside table I let it charge because I have work tomorrow night but I have to be at work early to go through paychecks and paperwork. I sit back against the head board of the bed I grab my laptop which was next to my legs and I put it on my lap. I have a lot of emails that I got 2 days ago from work, my family and other relatives they don't live here in America and some that live in different states that I have to answer. Some of the emails are spam from companies that are trying to sell me things that I don't need I delete those. I only reply to two emails from work and six from my family and other relatives. I stop replying to the emails because I'm tired and sleepy I had a long day and night at work and I need to sleep plus I can't be bothered to answer all of them. I would go to sleep but I can't even think about going to sleep or concentrate on anything because my next door neighbor is loudly f*****g a chick with red hair. She was waiting at his door when I got home from work like a sad little puppy dog just waiting for him to get home so she could f**k him. She had long legs, way too much makeup on, fake breasts, had on a very short skirt and a crop top her breasts were falling out of the crop top, high heels and she had a very skinny body. I'm not jealous of the red head and I'm not skinny I'm not fat either but I do have curves I'm not pretty or beautiful maybe that's why my ex-finance cheated on me with my ex best friend but I guess I will never know. My next door neighbors name is Brian Montez when I first met him he was really nice and friendly to me when I moved into my apartment. Well that was until he bought a girl to his apartment and I knew from that moment that he was a player and trouble. I'm not admitting anything but I mean who wouldn't want to have s*x with Brian. He is very handsome, hot good looking and has a very sexy and hot body that I just want to rub my hands up and down his whole body. Any woman like the red head would be very lucky to have s*x with Brian. But not me because 1. I'm not like that I only have s*x with someone if I'm dating them. 2. I'm absolutely nothing like the red head at all because I have dignity and respect for myself. And 3. I will never have s*x with Brian because if I did he would probably throw me away after using me like all players do. Brian Montez is a player, heart breaker and trouble if he did try to seduce me to have s*x with him I would probably say yes but I hope that never happens. I'm going to stay away from him because I have to protect my heart and myself from getting hurt again. If I ever do get involved with Brian he could either break my heart or cheat on me like my ex fiance did. I exited out of the emails and I make my time sheet fully screen. I haven't started it yet because I've been distracted by reading my book and thinking about things as well. I start to sort out how many hours I have done this week and last week so I know how many I will have to do in the next 2 weeks. I exited out of my time sheet I put my laptop back on the bed I lean over the bed again and I grab my glass of red wine that I haven't finished yet. I don't touch my book because I will finish the chapter that I'm reading tomorrow. I have a few more sips and I think about my family, my old home and friends back in San Francisco where I was born and raised. I also think about what I went through a couple of months ago and it's been a hard year for me. Because a couple of months I had caught my ex fiance Jake cheating on me with my ex best friend Lilly. It was late at night when I had finished work and had gotten home I had caught them in bed together. It was a very long and stressful night dealing with customers and a very busy restaurant. It was full of rich people and families some were snobby, rude and obnoxious while the rest of them were nice, kind and friendly to me. I took my shoes off and I put them on the shoe rack which is near the front door. I walked into the hallway to see where Jake was I was outside my bedroom when I heard some moans and groans. I thought that Jake was watching porn but he wasn't. I had quietly opened the door so that he couldn't hear and see me come in the room. I had slowly walked into the room and I saw him and Lilly in bed together. She was on top of Jake they were both naked he was staring and smiling at her and he said I love you to her. It completely broke my heart I had tears in my eyes after finding them in bed together and hearing Jake say he loves Lilly. They didn't hear me come in the room because they were too busy f*****g each other. I had silently sobbed my heart and eyes out so that they didn't hear and see me crying. I had moved closer into the room and the floor squeaked nosily which made Lilly turn around with wide eyes and she gasped as well. I had stopped looking at her and I looked Jake he looked at me with wide eyes as well then he had a sad and guilty look on his face. Lilly had quickly got off Jake and she covered herself I had stopped crying and I wiped my eyes. After I had wiped my eyes and stopped crying I had become very angry and pissed off with the both of them. I yelled at them they were very shocked and surprised to hear me yell for the first time because I had never done that before ever in my life. It was definitely a first for me to lose my temper at anyone before that night. It's not like I don't get angry sometimes coz I do like other people do it's just that I never lose my temper or anger out on anyone because I keep my temper to myself. After I had finished yelling at Lilly and Jake for abut 20 minutes calling them mean names which I won't repeat. I had patiently waited for them to get dressed and to leave the apartment. They quickly got dressed and I kicked them out of the apartment soon as they tried to apologize to me. I slammed the door hard when they left and I locked it so they couldn't get in to try to apologize to me again and I slide down the door. I had put my hands and I cried again after I had cried for a while I stood up and I wiped my eyes again. I could have just sat on the couch or in bed with a blanket, tissues, eating ice-cream and chocolate crying over and over again. While watching sad and romantic movies like being one of those girls who just got dumped or got their hearts broken but I didn't do that. Instead of doing that I had grabbed a garbage bag and I picked up all of Jake's stuff that he owned and left here at my apartment I put it all in the garbage bag including the pictures of me and him. I could have burned all of his stuff I was very tempted to do that but I decided not to because it wouldn't of fixed my broken heart that I had at the time. Jake and I didn't live together because he lives in another apartment building which is downtown a few blocks from the apartment building that I live in. I used to stay over at his sometimes when I didn't have to work. I think he still lives in the same apartment with Lilly but who know and It's a good thing that he doesn't live in the same apartment as me. Because if he did it would of been really hard to see him and her happy together while I'm still hurting and heartbroken even though it's been months it still hurts. He did used to stay over at mine sometimes when he didn't stay over at mine or when he didn't have to work. He works as a business man but I don't know what does for a living he never told me. Jake and I were planning to move in together before we got married but that was before I had caught him cheating on me with Lilly. When I had finished putting his stuff in the garbage bag I felt happy and relieved for doing it then instead of doing it in months time. I also did it so that I wouldn't have to look at his stuff and have to been reminded everyday of finding him and her I bed together and breaking my heart as well. The next day after I had caught and kicked them out of the apartment. I messaged them to come and meet me at the cafe' which is only a block away from the apartment building so it won't take long to get to the cafe' and also where I met and fell in love with Jake. I told them to meet me at exactly 1:30 pm and not to be a minute late. I got at the cafe' at 12:35 pm which had given me an hour by myself before Lilly and Jake had to show up. While I was waiting for them to arrive I had gotten a bit hungry so I had ordered a toasted ham and cheese and a large coffee. I had waited at the cafe' which had felt like hours when Jake and Lilly had finally arrived at the cafe'. They sat down at the table I was sitting at and I wanted them to explain to me about what I had walked into and seeing them in a comprising position. Jake started to explain what was going between him and Lilly and what I saw that night he said that it wasn't the first time that he and Lilly slept together and that him and her have been seeing each other behind my back for months. He said that they started the affair when I was away at my parents house for a weekend. That they had fallen in love with each other and that it wasn't just a fling or one time thing. As he was telling me about the affair I had looked at Lilly's left hand and I had noticed that she was wearing an engagement and that it was similar to mine. It didn't take a genius to figure out that they were engaged. I was angry and pissed off that Jake had proposed to Lilly while him and me were still engaged but I kept my temper to myself. I looked at them and they apologized and said that they were really sorry for hurting me and betraying my trust as well. They also said that they didn't want me to find out the way I did and that they were going to tell me when the time was right before I had caught them in bed together. I was fighting the urge to cry again and I didn't want to cry in front of them. I had looked at Jake again and I asked him why was Lilly wearing an engagement ring. He had a guilty look on his face and he said that he had proposed to Lilly a few months after they had started the affair. It broke my heart more hearing him say that I also asked him why he broke my heart and hurt me and cheat on me with Lilly. He said that he didn't mean to and that it wasn't his intention to hurt, break my heart and cheat on me. I thought that Jake had loved and cared about me same goes for Lilly but I guess it was all lie. Jake said that he had always loved Lilly ever since they were kids but she was dating Rick and that he waited until she wasn't with him anymore. He also said that he tried to Love me like he loves Lilly but he still cares about me but only as a friend that hurt my heart even more. They apologized and they also asked me to forgive them which meant that I would have had to forget and forgiven them for what they did but at the time I just couldn't bring myself to forgive them. They wanted to keep talking about what they did but I had enough of talking about it even more then we already did. I ended my relationship with Jake and my 15 years of friendship with Lilly. I did that because it wouldn't fair to me and Lilly if Jake and I were still together. Also it would of been really hard to still stay best friends with Lilly while she is engaged with Jake. I told them to not contact, talk and to stay away from me as well. They tried to talk to me again but I shook my head no, I stood up quickly and I left them at the cafe' with guilt and sadness in their eyes and faces. I could have turned around and forgiven them but I couldn't at the time because it was too hard to forgive them and forget what they did and also I didn't have it in me to as well. instead of doing that I walked all the way home with a broken heart and tears in my eyes again. When I had got home from my long walk I had stopped crying and I took my phone out of jacket and I deleted all of the pics of me, Jake and Lilly. I also blocked them on all of social media accounts that I have and I also blocked their emails and deleted their numbers as well so that they couldn't contact me anymore. I had dropped my phone on the bed and I laid down on the bed and I cried again. I had cried until there were no more tears in my eyes to let out. After I had cried for a while I got up from the bed and I cleaned myself up. I had decided to clean my whole apartment up so that I could have distracted myself from crying again and thinking about what happened as well. After that day when I told them to stay away from and to not contact me anymore which they chose to ignore. Even though I blocked them on all my social media accounts that I have and deleted their numbers. They kept texting and calling me non stop begging me to forgive them. They did that for days and weeks they even showed up at my work place one day when I wouldn't answer their calls and texts. They were very lucky that the restaurant wasn't busy that day like it usually is during the lunch hour. We all sat down at a table that still had plates on the table which another waiter or waitress forgot to clean up. I had let them talk first before I wanted to say something. They apologized again for what happened, for hurting and betraying my trust they also asked me again to forgive them and they even invited me to their wedding. I just rolled my eyes and I had got annoyed at them for asking for forgiveness again and inviting me to their wedding. I told them that I couldn't for forget and forgive them then and there for what they did that maybe in the future I will forgive them and that I wouldn't be going to their wedding. They said that they understand why and that they wouldn't push me and expect me to come. I stood up and I asked them to kindly leave and to not come back to the restaurant again, to stop calling and texting me and to stay away from me as well. They left the restaurant without arguing and wanting to keep talking about what happened. At the time I couldn't even think about forgiving them and talk to them ever again after I had caught them in bed together because I was still hurt and angry at them for what they did. I wish that I had never found out the way I did and that they told me before I had found out it wouldn't of hurt as much as it did. In a odd and weird way I'm glad that I did found out but I wish that I found out different way. Whenever I think about what Lilly and Jake did it makes me angry and upset that they hurt and betrayed me the way they did. I thought that I was the only girl for Jake and that he loved me and no one else but I guess I was wrong and naive to think that I had actually found a guy that loved and cared about me. But I guess that true and happiness only happens in romance novels and fairy tales. I loved, trusted and cared about Lilly and Jake but I guess that they didn't really care about me because if they did they wouldn't of had an affair behind my back. But that doesn't matter anymore because I'm not in love with Jake anymore but I still do have feelings for him. He and Lilly are both dead to me even though that I have forgiven them for what they did. Even though that they don't deserve my forgiveness it also took me while to forgive them. I know that I shouldn't have for given them for what they did. I did that because I'm not a person who holds grudges against anyone and I'm a forgiving person as well. I remember the first time I met Lilly it was in primary school and we were in grade 1 when we first met. At first she was very stubborn and standoffish but eventually we became best friends like I had become best friends with Caleb and Rose. I was best friends with Rose before I met Caleb and Lilly because her mother and my mother are best friends and me Rose have been best friends since we were babies. I met Caleb when I was 5 years old and we became best friends. We did everything together. I actually met Jake through Lilly and she sets up on a date which was at the cafe' where I fell in love with Jake and broke up with him and stopped being best friends with Lilly. I sigh at the memories after that first date I had with Jake and what happened on my 21st first birthday we dated for 1 years and 5 months. Which was the only time I had actually felt happy for once in my life and it's been 6 months since I saw and talked to them last. What makes me more angry about the whole situation is that all of Jake's friends who were my friends before I found out about the affair. They knew about the affair and they could of told me but instead kept it to themselves because they didn't want to lose their friendship with Jake. I stopped being friends with all of them when I found out that they knew about Jake cheating on me with Lilly. When Jake's family found out about the affair they weren't happy with him because they liked me and thought that me and Jake were perfect together and that I was the perfect wife for him. I still keep in contact with his family even though me and Jake aren't together anymore. When I told Jake's mother Mary about me calling the wedding off she wanted to slap Jake upside the head for cheating on me and for letting me go. It's nice to still have a relationship with her and Jake's father Richard they are like second parents to me besides all the butlers and maids back at my parents house in San Francisco. While I was dating Jake I was very happy and in love with him.Mine and Jake's relationship wasn't perfect we had a ups and downs but he was never abusive and he never hit me. In a way I think that he did love me but I guess that he just couldn't love me the way he loves Lilly. While I was dating Jake he would always get and send me flowers and chocolate either while I was at work or whenever was home. It would always make me smile and fall more in love with him. Jake would sometimes make me dinner when he would stay over at mine or when I would stay over at his or when he didn't have to work. He would also sometimes take me out on dates when we didn't have to work on the weekends. But that all stopped when Jake had started to become very distant and not him self. At the time I thought that it might of been because of work. Because he would come to my place or when or when I would stay at his tired and stressed out after work but that wasn't the reason why. I asked him once if he was cheating on me he said that it was stupid and silly of me to even think that. He lied to me and said that he wasn't cheating on me that he would never do that to me because he told me that he loved me and I believed him. I never asked him if he was cheating again because if I did he probably would of told me the same lie again. When Jake had stopped sending me chocolates and flowers, making dinner and taking me out on dates. Every time I would make dinner after Jake had stopped he would always make up excuses and say that he had plans with his friends or that he had to work late. I had believed all the excuses that he would tell me it would make me cry. sometimes I would cry when I was at home in bed or when Caleb and Lilly would come over. They would say that Jake loves me and that he would never cheat on me or do anything to hurt me. I knew that Caleb was trying to make me feel better about it but I'm not to sure if Lilly was I guess I will never know. If you ever love someone don't take them for granted, hurt them, betray their trust and break their hearts or let them do the same to you. Because if that does ever happen it can sometimes make you into a cold and heartless person that stops caring about people that you love and care about. I'm glad that I haven't become a cold and heartless person because of what happened. Because if I did I probably would of stopped caring about my friends and family and I don't want that to ever happened. 3 months after I had caught Jake and Lilly in bed together. Jake had decided to come to my apartment without Lilly to collect his stuff which was good so that I didn't have to deal with her and him together. He came late in the afternoon to get his stuff and to get out my life for good as well. When he arrived I let him in, we walked into the lounge room and I walked over to where I had left the garbage bag. I picked it up and I chucked it at him really hard it was very funny to see that he couldn't catch the garbage bag. I could have been a bit nicer to him but I chose not to because excuse my french but I couldn't really give a flying f**k to apologize to him. I asked him to leave the apartment to get out of my life for good and to go back to his w***e of a fiance that used to be my best friend before I caught him and her in bed together. He glared at me when I called Lilly a w***e I didn't care though he and her were in the wrong and he could glare at me all he wanted. I had patiently waited for Jake to leave the apartment he tried to apologize to me again but I didn't want to listen to what he wanted to say. So I just ignored him and I told him to hurry up and leave so that I could pretend that he didn't exist to me and go on with the rest of my day and life before he had come over to get his stuff. Before he left he tried to get me to listen to him for about 10 minutes. He left with a sad, regretful and guilty look on his face and with the door hitting him on the way out. Maybe at the time it was a bit harsh for treating Jake the way I did but I was still hurt and angry at him and Lilly for what they did. I definitely won't ever apologize to Jake if I ever saw him and Lilly ever again. When Jake left I could see and tell in his eyes and face that he was really sorry for hurting me and breaking my heart as well. It hurts every time I think about what Jake and Lilly did and I think it will always hurt whenever I think about it. After Jake had left I locked the door and I ran into my room crying my eyes out again and I laid down on the bed. I cried for a while until there were no more tears to let out. I had closed my eyes for a few minutes and I must of fallen asleep. I must of been asleep for a couple of hours because I had gotten an unexpected call from my mother. The conversation that we had was before the fight that we had on Christmas last year. She called me because she wanted to talk to me about finding a venue and a wedding dress for mine and Jake's wedding which I called because of what happened and also because he is engaged to Lilly. Also you can't get married to two people because it's illegal to. I still have the engagement ring that Jake gave me even though that I should have given it back to him. If I did give the ring back to Jake he probably would of given it to Lilly if he hadn't of proposed to me so I kept the ring. Even though she had already had an engagement ring when we had talked the day I broke up with Jake and stopped being best friends with her. I still don't understand why Jake had proposed to me if he was engaged to Lilly and wanting to be with her I guess I will never know. During the phone conversation that I had with my mother I told her that there was no point in finding a venue and a wedding dress and that wasn't going to be a wedding anymore. She asked me why there wasn't going to be a wedding anymore I told her that I called the wedding off because I had caught Jake and Lilly in bed together. She gasped for a few seconds she said that I needed to forget and forgive them for what they did and to move on as well that I can't keep thinking about what they did. I said to her that I couldn't forget and forgive Jake and Lilly for what they did that it hurt to much to forgive them after they had betrayed and hurt me. But of course we had gotten into an argument about it like we normally do about most things now a days whenever we talk on the phone which is hardly ever or when I can be bothered to pick up the phone and call her. There were a few words that were said which I won't repeat. My mother said to me that it was my fault that Jake cheated on me with Lilly for not getting married soon rather in a year or 2. tears had fallen out of my eyes after she said that to me. I told her again that I wasn't going to forgive Jake and Lilly for what they did and that she would have to get over it, if she still wanted to be my life. She got really angry at me she called me an grateful and spoiled girl who is selfish and that doesn't about anyone else but herself. I was hurt and angry at what she said and I told her that I hated her. Before she could apologize or say anymore hurtful words I hanged up on her. She tried calling me a few times but I would decline the calls. I have forgiven her for what she said to me and she has forgiven for what I said. About 6 months before I had caught Jake and Lilly in bed together he had proposed to me and 3 months before me and my mother had the argument on Christmas last year I sigh at the memory. A reason why I kept the ring is because every time I look at it I think about all the happy times I had with Jake before I had caught him cheating on me with Lilly in bed. When Jake proposed to me he had made fake promises which I had believed. He promised that he would always love and cherish me, be loyal and faithful, always be there for me and protect me, never hurt and never break my heart. I had believed all the fake promises that he made and they were all lies none of them were true because if they were true Jake wouldn't have cheated on me with Lilly. Because of what Jake did I can't trust any guy anymore besides my brothers, Caleb and Ryder. I haven't dated anyone or gone any dates with anyone because I'm scared that if I date again that they might cheat, hurt me and break my heart just like Jake did. I won't be dating anyone anytime soon because I'm still getting over Jake even though it's been a few months since I saw him and Lilly last. I know I'm not in love with Jake anymore and I do still have feelings for him I think it will probably take me a little while to get rid of the feelings. Because it wouldn't be fair if I still had feelings for Jake if I was dating someone new. When I was a little girl I used to believe in fairy tales and that I would one day find my prince charming and fall in love with him. That we would get married, have little prince's and princesses and live happily ever after. But I guess that only happens in romance novels and fairy tales. I was also obsessed with being a princess and I had everything pink and sparkly in my old bedroom back home in San Francisco. I grew out of that stage of my life and I'm not a little girl anymore because I have stopped believing in fairy tales a long time ago. I still haven't found my prince charming and happily ever after yet because honestly I don't think I will anytime soon. When I told Rose and Caleb about what Jake and Lilly did they were really angry at them but they were more angry at Lilly than Jake she was our best friend and that best friends aren't suppose to do that. Caleb kicked Lilly out of his apartment and him and Rose stopped being friends with her. I was happy and glad they did and that Caleb kicked Lilly out of his apartment. Because they didn't stop being friends with and Caleb didn't kick her out it would have been really awkward if we kept being friends and hanging out we would of probably gotten into an argument about what she and Jake did just like my mother and I do. I hope that Lilly and Jake feel very guilty for the rest of their lives just like how I will be angry and hate them forever even if I have forgiven them for what they did.