Sofonisba. Portraits of the Soul

December 1579 Black is merely a concept, fleeting and fickle, within which all other colours vibrate. My gaze sinks into its complex darkness, which multiplies to infinity beyond a bank of cloud, in the same way black will retreat on a canvas, generously moving aside to bring out the subject. Just minute touches of white lead break through the dark, similar to the light within the iris, the touch of the brush which is indispensable to bring a glance to life. Leaning on the stern rail, I don't feel the cold, despite the December wind puffing out my light cloak. It's sweat, though, mixed with the sea spray that makes my skin glisten, a slimy salty film forming on my face and neck as the hull plunges between the smooth hollows of water. The foremast sways, tracing wide semicircles, and the boat's roll rocks me with an unreal lightness, as if I were walking in a dream. I sit on the rail and look beneath me. A female figurehead, smaller but almost identical to the one on the bow, looms over the keel, motionless above the whirlpool of foam far below. There is something slightly hypnotic in the perfection of that dark vortex. Its primitive beauty, which welcomes and rejects, invites me to lean out even further. The ship gives an unexpected jerk, which brings me to myself with a jolt. My feet feel for the firm planks of the deck, but a cable comes loose, cracking and lashing wildly like a whip. I raise my arms to protect my face, but, struck by a metal hook, I lose my balance and fall overboard. My hands grasp the figurehead and for a few seconds I hang on to her, struggling to keep my hold on the wet wood, then I realise I'm losing my grip. A flash of lightning lights up the proud profile of the roughly carved face; my fingers slide over the shape, unable to get a hold; then I close my eyes and let go. My flight is stopped by a powerful grip on my arm. Suspended in mid-air like an injured seagull, I feel a stab of pain lacerate my shoulder and I scream out. A voice calls me and a hand stretches out towards mine. With an effort I manage to grab it and it takes my weight until I can collapse onto the deck. “For heaven's sake! What are you doing up here?” The cold and pain penetrate beneath my skin, my body shivering uncontrollably. A black hole rises from my stomach upwards, overwhelming my limbs and dimming my senses. Then just darkness.