Lost Once, Redeemed Twice

Chapter 1 - Nightmare

STELLA POV

'How do you unlove someone who was a significant part of your life, leaving you without any explanations?' It hurts even now. I can't believe he made me believe in all the honest lies and promises he gave during our time together. So many questions haunt my mind.

'What happened to us? Why did he abandon me in my lowest moments?'

'He said he loved me deeply, so why did he leave? Why didn't he keep his words and promises?'

'Does he feel the same pain I felt when he walked away, leaving me miserable and lonely?' I was so depressed and felt like I was losing my mind.

'Does he regret his decision now?'

'Does he know how much I suffered after everything he did?'

We were together for four years, for heaven's sake. I can't figure out what went wrong. I keep pondering what I did to make him not want me anymore and disappear without a trace. The pain of not knowing is unbearable.Our relationship was nearly conflict-free. He's a loyal, lovable, handsome, respectful, honest, and faithful boyfriend, making me adore him deeply.

We used to be so happy. He fulfilled my every wish, stood by me when I needed support, and became my best friend. We grew up together since I was 13, and those were the best days of my life.

On my 18th birthday, he confessed his love, which shocked me at first, but I eventually accepted. It was a dream come true because I had crushed on him since I was 15.

As we grew older, he became even more caring, spoiling me with his time and attention. He spent most days with me, as his parents managed their company abroad. We cherished each moment, hanging out, cuddling, and traveling together. Our bond grew stronger with each passing day. I thought everything was perfect. But all of that vanished when, the night after I visited him, he didn't message me nor call me. It was like I was woken up into reality. It hurts so much that I almost forgot how to breathe. My parents also left me the time he did.

I made all the ways to reach out to him but all his social media accounts are deactivated and his number is unreachable. I was nervous, devastated and miserable during those months not hearing anything from him while mourning for my parents passing. I was really getting crazy about everything. I was even depressed. I did consult a psychiatrist, which successfully helped me to where I am now. I've tried searching for him for a year. I even hired a private investigator to know what happened but I ended up empty-handed. For years, I felt alone. I have no family. I have no one else but myself.

There are too many questions that left me hanging. It's been five years since that happened. My life is still miserable, not physically though, but mentally and emotionally. I've never been involved with anyone since then because I was afraid that I would be left all alone again. I've had nightmares during those times which I didn't want to remember anymore. Not after what happened.

The questions swirling in my mind are overpowering. 'Does he regret leaving me?' 'Did he truly love me?' I'm not sure. I'm still not over him, but I conceal my emotions. I bury our memories and feelings deep in my mind, trying to forget the pain I carry.

______

Currently, I've been lying on my bed for an hour now thinking of the goddam past that I still can't forget.

"Uhh! What the hell!" I said to myself while pulling my hair in frustration. How can I forget what has happened if I keep on thinking about it? 'God! Help me!'

For the past few years, I've dedicated myself to finding solace in something that would ease my mind before bedtime, ensuring I'd fall asleep effortlessly.

I rose from bed in the morning and headed straight to the bathroom to take a much-needed shower. Stripping off my clothing, I turned on the water, letting it cascade over me as I meticulously used shampoo, conditioner, and other hair care products, taking extra care of my precious curly hair.

The warm water helped soothe my thoughts, even if just momentarily. I scrubbed my body thoroughly, as if trying to cleanse away the nagging questions and doubts that lingered in my mind. While the shower was meant to cleanse my body, it had become a ritual to cleanse my thoughts as well.

After some time, I finally finished my daily routine in the bathroom and stepped out, feeling refreshed and revitalized. Today was an important day; it was the grand opening of the restaurant I had acquired just last month. Dressing up nicely was a must, and I chose a beautiful floral print off-shoulder dress that fell gracefully above the knee. I have to admit, I wasn't entirely used to wearing such dresses. My typical attire consisted of comfortable tank tops and black pants, but for this special occasion, I had to step out of my comfort zone.

As I stood in front of the mirror, examining myself, I couldn't help but recall my love for Angelina Jolie's fashion style. Her portrayal of fierce and independent characters in movies like Wanted, Lara Croft: The Tomb Raider, and Salt have always inspired me. During my time in military training a year ago, I had started emulating her outfits, finding them to be a perfect match for my personal style.

This led to my extensive collection of 'badass outfits,' as I liked to call them. They perfectly complemented my title as The Badass Queen, a name that had been bestowed upon me because I had proven myself to be strong, resilient, and unapologetically fierce. I didn't earn that title by playing it safe or being timid; I embraced it with all my heart.

Life had taught me that being too good often led to vulnerability and exploitation, so I decided to let go of that image and embrace the powerful and confident woman I truly was. I was done with being perceived as just sweet and kind. It was time to unleash the demon within me, the side that fought for what she wanted, achieved her dreams, and stood tall in the face of challenges.

Today, as I prepared for the opening of my restaurant, I knew that this was just the beginning of my journey. I had overcome countless obstacles to reach this point, and I was determined to make the most of it. My 'badass outfits' served as a symbol of my strength and determination, a visual reminder that I was ready to conquer the world, one step at a time.

So, with my head held high, I put on my chosen dress, curled my hair and applied makeup. As I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I knew that I had transformed from the timid girl I once was into a powerful and fearless woman, ready to take on whatever challenges life threw my way. The past may have shaped me, but I refuse to let it define me. Today, I was ready to unleash the full force of my potential, embracing the title of The Badass Queen with pride.

Cain, who I met at the bar 48 months ago, became my bestfriend. He taught me to fight. He taught me to be tough and not to let my emotions get the best of me. He was a military captain, that's why he personally trained me for months. He taught me how to manage and control my emotions, which I was thankful for. He's also the one helping me hide my identity. I avoided cameras or anything that would show the real me. I was only using my nickname Ella in everything I did. I was really thankful to him for everything he did for me. He's like a big brother to me. He's the same age as Cury.

I introduced him to Sophie, and he confessed that it was love at first sight for him. I was relieved to hear that because before, he had told me he felt something special about me. At that time, my heart was still healing, and I couldn't return the same feelings. I appreciated his understanding and was grateful for it.

Over time, Sophie and Cain officially became a couple. I was genuinely happy for them, as they had found each other. However, as I watched their love story unfold, I couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness for myself. Though I was gradually accepting what had happened, I couldn't shake off the lingering pain. "I'm strong," I whispered to myself, determined to be resilient. I buried the memories that kept resurfacing deep in my mind, trying my best to move forward despite the ache in my heart.

______

Back to today, I looked at my watch and saw that it was already almost 7 AM, so I needed to be at my office before 8 AM. Though it will only take me 10 minutes' drive from my condo to my office using my big bike, I will use my car now since I'm wearing a dress. Great! "You look great! Always great!" Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I complimented myself, smiling. It's a nice day to start. Grabbing my car keys, I went out, entered the elevator and clicked the G button.

Ding!

I slowly walked to the parking lot and carefully slipped into the driver's seat. I drove for almost 30 minutes.

As I entered my office, I spotted my assistant and best friend, Sophie, diligently organizing the files on my desk. She always arrives before me, insisting that as the boss, I need to relax a bit. I argue with her about it, but she's too stubborn to listen and does what she believes is best. Her determination always impresses me.

"Good morning, Badass Queen! The day looks so good, and you look amazing, like you've got a new vibe," she praised me, and I playfully rolled my eyes, knowing I always look great. I shooed her from my seat, but she persisted with her sweet compliment.

"I always look great." I replied, smirking.

"You always tell that to yourself daily. I'm just saying it how you say it," she said, grinning. "Oh, right! Today is the grand opening of your new restaurant. Let's head there now!" she suggested eagerly, changing the topic.

"Sure, let's go!" I replied, walking ahead with her closely following behind.

We got to the restaurant on time and began the ribbon cutting, which annoyed me because firstly, I hate cameras. Secondly, I hated being the center of attention and, thirdly, it was boring. I am always into adventure. I don't know why I did the ribbon-cutting even in the first place. I hated doing so.

"You'll be doing the rest from here. I need to finish my piling paperwork. Call me if there's anything urgent." I said, kissing her on her cheek.

"Always. Go. I'll call you if I need something or if there's something urgent, as you said," she said, returning the gesture I did. "Mwahh. Bye! See you later!" She added.

I let Sophie handle all the rest as I went to my office immediately to start my work.

After some time, a knock removed my focus on the papers I'd been working on.

Knock knock!

"Come in" I said, not raising my head because I already knew who it was. She and Cain were the only ones allowed to knock and enter my office while I was working. Most of my employees only called on the landline beside my table.

"Girl, it's already lunch time. You're too engrossed in your 'paperwork'. Let's get something to eat before you continue what you're doing". Sophie said as she slumped on the sofa.

"What time is it? I'm not hungry yet." I replied while continuing to do what I'm currently doing.

"Girl. It's already 12 noon. You're already too skinny. Do you still want to live? You're depriving yourself of food. You know that?" I rolled my eyes at what she said because she always said that; everyday.

"You also said that yesterday and the other days. Are you planning to say the same thing tomorrow?" I said, raising my head and staring at her.

"Of course. I'm worried about you. You've been doing that for God knows how long. Since I met you I guess?" She's exaggerating it. Sighing, I stood up and grabbed my keys.

"Where are you going?" She stood up hurriedly.

"You said we were going to eat. Where do you think I should go?"

She scratched her head while smiling, "Sorry, I thought you were going to leave me again." She held my hand and went out. She chose the restaurant we'd be eating because she said I should treat her. She claimed to be too tired to handle all the things at my new restaurant. She's right though. I bought the restaurant but I put all the handwork on her so I should really treat her. She always got the point.

______

Three years ago, I was at a bar, drowning my sorrows and heartbreak with alcohol. That's when I noticed Sophie, doing the same. She was dancing with random guys until a drunk man roughly pulled her off of the dance floor, causing her to trip and fall. My anger surged, and I rushed to her rescue, confronting the guy. Luckily, I wasn't alone that night; I was with my friend Cain, and we were just hanging out together. I stood up but Cain held my hand and said, "Don't. You're getting yourself into trouble. I'll do it."

"Believe me, I can beat that guy. Look at that woman he was trying to harass. Do you think I will just sit here and watch what will happen to her?" I asked him, and he shook his head to disagree. "Watch me" I said as I walked towards the commotion. I heard him say 'take care'. I just waved my hand at him to show that I had heard him.

"Hey. Why hit a girl too drunk to resist?" I said while grinding my teeth in anger.

"As you said, she's too drunk to resist, so why not grab the chance, but since you're here and is also hotter than her, why not come with me?" he said, grinning, which annoyed me more. He's disgusting and gross.

Just before he could lay a hand on me, I swiftly punched his face and delivered a powerful kick to his sensitive area, making him collapse in pain on the floor. The onlookers booed him while he cursed, clutching himself.

"You still want to mess with me? Go ahead!" I taunted, smirking confidently.

"I'll kill you, you b***h!" he yelled, teeth grinding from the agony.

"Try it now if you dare!" I retorted, not backing down an inch.

Ever since I was left hanging, I vowed to never be weak, clumsy, or stereotypically girly. I laughed as he struggled to stand, and then I helped the girl he was harassing. Together with Cain, my friend, we walked her to my car to tend to her scratches. We took her to my condo, where she could rest and recover. Cain was there to lend a hand, supporting me as I cared for the girl.

Waking up in the morning, she was shocked to see me and accused me of trespassing, which I find amusing. I laughed out loud, which made her puzzled.

"You're in my condo, girl. Can't you see that this place is different from yours? Have you forgotten what happened last night?" I said as I looked at her and she looked shocked, which showed she remembered what happened. She apologetically said, "I'm sorry. I almost forgot. Thank you so much for your help. I was too drunk last night to care what was to happen."

I was about to leave when she started telling her story. "Actually, I don't know where to live anymore. My bastard f*****g ex-boyfriend cheated on me spending our savings on his f*****g itchiness." She said angrily. "Calm down. I'm not your enemy." I said laughing at her reactions. "I'm sorry, I can't help it." She said, smiling sadly.

She began sharing her heartbreaking story when I sat beside her. We both carried the weight of heartbreak, but our stories were different. She revealed that her long-time boyfriend had cheated on her while she was at work. One day, she caught them in their bedroom, naked. The pain was unbearable; they had been cheating for a whole year. Devastated, she confronted them and tried to forget everything by drowning her sorrows in alcohol. She lost her job and got kicked out of her apartment, as her ex-boyfriend used up all her savings with his new woman.

Apologizing for bothering me, she didn't know where to go now. I sympathized with her, relating to her vulnerability and fragility. Her story touched me deeply, even though my own heartbreak was different.

I offered her a place to stay with me, to heal mentally and emotionally. She cried, moved by my offer. Over time, we became best friends, realizing how similar our experiences were. I shared my own story with her, leaving us both in tears.

As we grew inseparable, I officially made her a permanent resident of my condo. She refused the new condo I offered, choosing to stay with me. I hired her as my assistant, and she has never left my side since then. I thanked her for being such a significant part of my life.

Back to reality:

"Girl, you've been staring at me for a while now. It's creepy, you know. You're not even listening to what I'm saying", she said as she waved her hand, which brought me back to reality.

"Sorry. I've been daydreaming. I just remembered something. What are you saying again?"

"I said, are we going to eat or not? I'm already starving." She said as she dramatically touched her stomach as if she hadn't eaten the whole day.

"Sorry. Of course. Where do you want to eat?" I asked lazily.

"You're not in the mood to eat, so I will choose your place, your restaurant. I'll just personally cook for both of us." Grabbing my hand, she dragged me inside my car and urged me to drive, which I did because I didn't feel the need to oppose.

"You're too quiet today. What happened? Is anything wrong?" She reached my forehead and touched it.

"Are you not feeling well?" she added.

"I'm fine. Thanks for your concern. I just needed to rest," I replied.

"You know what? Let's just head home. I will just cook something there. You really need to rest. You've been tiring yourself everyday." And I did what she said. I drove home and fell back on the sofa when we were inside.

"Cook and wake me up when you're done. I'm tired. I'll just sleep a little." I said as I put my arm above my forehead to shield the light so that I can sleep.

I didn't know that I had already slept after lying down.

________

"I love you, my Stella. You're the only woman I'll ever love. I promise to cherish you, spoil you and never leave you." He said after kissing my forehead.

"I love you too, Ry. Thank you for loving me. I'll do the same for you. I'll love you forever." I replied, kissing him on his lips.

After the kiss, his image began to blur until it was gone like smoke. I was hysterically crying while trying to catch the smoke that Ry became.

"Noooooo!"