Divided heart

6. peeping tom

The first feeling you have is fear, the second you get used to it, and the third you can't let go of it.

—Sin-

Rendy picked up the phone after the third ring, his voice hoarse as if he had just woken up.

"Loki, it's rare for you to call me at this hour?"

"There's something I want to ask you." For some reason, my heart was beating uncontrollably.

"Hmmm...what?" Rendy yawned while speaking.

"My past."

Silence, only the sound of Rendy taking a deep breath.

"Ren, do you know something?" I asked, increasingly curious.

Rendy clicked his tongue. The creaking sound of his bed convinced me that he had just woken up.

"Ren."

"You don't remember Loki?" he asked.

"oh my Gosh..., if I remembered I wouldn't be asking you again." Sometimes my friend takes a long time to think.

"What do you want to know?" He dragged out the sentence as if digging through his memories.

I massaged my temples for a moment. Confused about what to ask.

"Were my father and mother...?" It was so difficult to say whether they were my biological parents. Rendy must know, our houses were next door and he had always been with me since then.

"You really don't remember?"

"How many times do I have to tell you?"

"The problem is, you've never asked or discussed it before. So I guess you remember everything."

"Today I saw a woman commit suicide in my memory," I explained.

"Loki, you're alright?" A worried tone slipped into Rendy's deep voice.

I shook my head, forgetting that Rendy couldn't see me at this moment. The heavy burden returned, hanging heavily on my shoulders. "I don't know, Ren, it's hurts so much." I pounded my chest hard, the feeling still lingering inside.

"Maybe... they're your biological family."

"What?"

"Mr. and Mrs. Fuller aren't your biological parents, Loki."

"What do you mean?"

"They almost hit you on the road when you were crossing. You suddenly fainted and were taken to the hospital."

As Rendy spoke, a faint image of a child running in the rain danced in my mind. I shook my head. How could I forget all this?

"Loki... Loki..."

"Yes," my voice choked.

"Mr. Fuller reported to the police. But no one came to pick you up. When questioned, you remained silent and didn't utter a word."

"So I was adopted by my mother and father?"

"Yes, after 3 months with no missing child report, they decided to take responsibility for your life."

"Why didn't you ever ask me?"

Rendy took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "The doctor said there was a possibility of trauma. When you were asked who and where your parents were, even your name, you became hysterical, Loki. So Aunt Viona suggested not discussing anything about your past."

"So my name?" My hand felt like it was squeezing my heart.

"Yes, we didn't know your name. So Uncle Henry gave you the name Loki, because you were a very adorable child and your presence brought luck and happiness to them, until one day you suddenly spoke as if you were someone else."

I banged my head against the bedroom wall. Why weren't there any remaining memories? What Rendy told me didn't seem to have happened to me. All I remembered was my mother and father welcoming me every day with smiles on their faces. They always called me softly, Loki.. Loki... Loki....

"You don't remember your biological parents?"

"I don't know. All I remember is waking up at home, Mom and Dad calling me Loki. They are my parents. That's all I know." Previously, I had absolutely no memory of my childhood before the age of fourteen.

"This is the first time you've asked about this, we've been friends for 10 years. There must be a trigger, right?"

My heart ached and I hesitated. Was this the right time to tell Rendy? While I still wanted to know more. If Rendy knew about all these strange events and this memory trigger because of Marina's apartment, this good young man would surely push me to leave this place full of bitter memories immediately.

Noticing my reluctance to answer, Rendy got annoyed.

"Start playing these secrecy games. If anything happens to you, Aunt Viona will scold me."

"No, maybe my memory is starting to recover. That's all. I promise if anything happens, I'll let you know. Are you coming this week?" My question successfully diverted Rendy's focus. He started discussing the fun things we would do while he stayed here.

"I'll let you know about the game that just came out."

"Oh yeah, the movie you recommended yesterday was great."

"Okay, don't forget to bring my mom's cooking from home too. I miss home cooking."

Rendy chuckled. "It hasn't even been a week and you already miss home?!"

I accidentally noticed a spot on the wall above the bed as I shifted to find a comfortable position. Hesitantly, I stood up and touched the bright spot. Goodness, it turned out to be a small hole.

"Ren, I'll call you back later, I have a call from the office." I lied. Rendy agreed. Finally, I ended the call.

I pressed my eye to the small hole. Why didn't I notice this hole yesterday? Something must have been used to cover the hole and somehow today that thing fell off, making the bright spot catch my attention.

A dimly lit room came into view. Its contents were almost the same as my flat, just with a different layout. Ah.. one more difference. The beds were bunk beds, placed sideways and against the wall.

My thoughts churned with shame at my own actions, spying on another flat. But I was also curious, why was this hole here? Was the owner of the next flat monitoring my flat?

I don't know, it's terrifying if that's true. Who likes their privacy invaded? Just imagining someone watching me change clothes is enough to make me shudder.

There was no movement in the room. No. Until I heard a dragging sound from the ceiling. A section of the ceiling above a chair slid open, and a girl jumped down onto the chair.

I gasped. The girl was Candy. Clearly identifiable by her shabby dress, which she never changes. Or maybe all her dresses are the same color, I don't know. The girl was carrying something in her hand; it was too difficult to see what it was. Until Candy opened the terrace door. The moonlight illuminated the furry object.

My heart pounded. I realized that the furry object was skinned cat fur. So Candy...? That girl...? oh my Gosh, this girl is crazy.

Candy sniffed the cat fur, stroked it gently, and tucked it into her dress. Her lips curved, and she began to laugh or cry; it was impossible to tell. She did it all silently. Suddenly, she turned her head, looking directly at where I was peeking.

Candy stood with her head held high, her eyebrows raised, and a terrifying smile on her lips. She walked slowly towards me. Damn it. For some reason, the fear gripping my heart paralyzed me.

Damn it. I've been caught.