Divided heart

15. Liar

"There's no such thing as a white lie, a lie for the good; a lie is still a lie, no matter how good the intention. Sin remains sin, no matter how small."

-Sin-

If all this time his lies were to protect his mother, Heil regretted that day. The day his mother came home in confusion. Even when Heil called her name, his mother didn't answer, as if she didn't hear Heil's voice.

His mother stood on the round balcony, tears slowly flowing and wetting the fine wrinkles on her high cheekbones. He remembered how the woman raised her hand and covered her mouth with a strong sob. He remembered how painfully those brown eyes stared directly at him.

No words were spoken; there was no need for them. His mother's cries told Heil everything. He knew this woman finally found out about Marvel's betrayal.

Did that jerk get caught again?

Heil could only hug his mother with pain.

It was his fault, all his fault. If he had told his mother earlier, before this woman fell deeper in love, would everything have changed? Would she still be crying like this? Heil's heart was breaking; every tear from the woman he loved so much clogged Heil's throat like a bitter pill.

But the next reality was even sadder. His mother never left Marvel, no. Even though that man continuously ruined her life. Making her cry, scream, curse—things Heil had never seen before.

His mother became a frightening figure.

"Does love make someone crazy?" Heil rested his head on Candy's shoulder. The little girl pushed her thumb up for Heil to suck.

"Yes… My father went crazy after Mother left us." The little girl winced as Heil bit her small thumb.

"Then, I will never fall in love." Heil closed his eyes, trying to banish the painful image of his mother's face.

"Why?" Candy sat up straight, unhappy with Heil's words.

Heil turned, his eyes narrowed sharply, holding back something that was about to come out. "I'm afraid of getting hurt."

"But we're always hurt." The little girl gently stroked Heil's face, caressing the boy's nose.

"But not here…!" Heil grabbed Candy's fingers, placing the small hand on his chest. "Not here…!" Heil repeated. "I don't want to go crazy."

"You're not crazy, you deserve to be loved." Candy brought the top of Heil's head closer to her lips, gently kissing the handsome young man's forehead.

"You know, sometimes... I feel like there's something screaming angrily in my head. Screaming about how cowardly I am, how weak I am, because I couldn't protect Mother." Heil closed his eyes. He inhaled the smell of dust in the attic room.

"Sometimes I blame myself too, why couldn't I fight My father." Candy bit her lip, her brow furrowed as sad memories from her life surfaced.

"No, you don't understand. It's different." Heil pulled away, sat up straight, and looked at Candy seriously. "Every day that feeling gets worse. The longer it goes on, the stronger it gets. Like there's something inside me. I don't know what it is." Heil's heart pounded.

"It feels like it's waiting, nurturing its strength to come out." Heil's pupils widened. Even now, as they spoke, he knew something was watching him from within.

Candy chuckled awkwardly. "You're just holding in anger and asking to be vomited."

The enthusiasm on Heil's face faded. "You don't understand," Heil said.

"You have me now, if you're angry, you can tell me, if you're thirsty, I'll help you overcome it." The little girl squeezed his hand tightly. Heil's heart immediately warmed.

"We... we'll get out of this hell together. You and me." The girl smiled sweetly, contaminating Heil. The boy smiled back.

Suddenly, the sound of a door opening came from below. Heil realized he'd forgotten to cover the attic access in the dining room, the way to his hiding place with Candy.

He heard Aldo snort, then the loud blare of metal music filled the room. Slowly, the two approached the entrance to the attic. Heil whispered in Candy's ear, asking her to immediately return to her flat. He didn't want Aldo to know about his relationship with the girl.

Candy shook her head, worried that Aldo would hit Heil again. She insisted on staying where she was, and eventually, Heil had to give in.

Aldo ransacked the wardrobe, trying to find something. Heil's heart stopped for a moment when Aldo reached into his school bag. The teenager found Heil's school money neatly wrapped in a clear plastic bag.

The teenager smiled happily, intending to put the stolen money in his pocket. Suddenly, a figure jumped down from above and landed on the dining table. Aldo screamed in surprise, dropping the plastic bag of money to the floor.

There, crouching down with an angry expression, Heil shouted loudly. "Give me back my money! My mother worked so hard for that!!!"

Snapping out of his shock, Aldo laughed cynically. He snatched the money and shoved it into his pants pocket, deliberately slapping it hard, further infuriating Heil.

"If you can, take it back yourself!" Aldo challenged.

Rage surged in Heil's chest, reminding him of his mother's injured and rough hands, working hard for his education. How could he let Aldo take his mother's hard-earned money?

The boy screamed and lunged at his brother. Aldo dodged, sending Heil sprawling to the floor. Aldo burst into laughter. Heil got up and tried to reach into his brother's pants pocket, but Aldo easily brushed his skinny arm away, kicking the boy and delivering a hard blow to his left eye.

Heil fell to the ground, his face hitting the floor. Pain choked him amidst his angry cries. Why was he so weak?

Again, Aldo overpowered him, kicking Heil's side repeatedly until he was satisfied. Heil curled up in pain, clutching his stomach.

Candy couldn't stand idly by. Seeing Heil being beaten, she unconsciously jumped down. She ran and hit Aldo on the head. The teenager, attacked so suddenly, couldn't dodge. Aldo fell forward, his lip hitting the glass doorknob.

Blood gushed from his split lip. Aldo cursed viciously, shouting at her. "How dare you hurt my face!" Aldo quickly stood up and approached Candy, who was frozen on the floor, motionless. The teenager grabbed her hair, pushing her hard until she fell to the ground.

Aldo then sat on the small girl's body and repeatedly slammed her head against the floor. Candy screamed in pain.

"A w***e remains a w***e, all women are always troublesome. Just like your mother." Aldo spat out blood, his large arm now hitting Candy's cheek.

"Shut up," Heil shouted, rising with overflowing rage, he hit Aldo's back. Unfortunately, the teenager managed to grab Heil's leg and spun him around quickly, sending Heil back to the floor.

"Stupid w***e who wants to marry my Dad. Support us, even knowing that my father is having an affair, still waiting for him. Isn't your mother so stupid, Heil? Isn't she like a cheap w***e?"

Heil's eyes darkened, something was urging to come out, his anger erupted uncontrollably, more painful than Aldo's blows. Enough, they could hit him, they could curse him, they could take his belongings, but not his mother. He wouldn't allow anyone to insult his mother.

Somehow, the boy grabbed a chair and threw it at Aldo's head. Aldo's laughter immediately stopped; he was too late to dodge. The wooden chair hit Aldo's head. The teenager slumped backward and fell on top of Candy, their cries of pain merging like an orchestra in Heil's ears.

The pain in his stomach disappeared; he felt strong, but his consciousness slowly faded, as if being pulled gently by something into the deepest corner. Aldo struggled to his feet. "Damn you, you damn kid. From the start, I've been sick of you and your mother, and you dare to defy me now? Today, I swear I'll kill you."

Heil knew it wasn't an empty threat from Aldo. The teenager was a frequent visitor to prison because of his violence, but his fear seemed to disappear, evaporating along with his fading consciousness. His world was distorted, wavy. He increasingly failed to recognize Aldo's face, as if a convex glass layer framed the room around him.

The moment Heil woke up, Aldo had already grabbed his collar, dragging the boy towards the balcony railing. He slammed Heil's head against the iron railing. Once, twice, three times, the dull clang of hard object meeting metal echoed softly.

Red filled Heil's world; he trembled violently, incredibly dizzy, almost vomiting. Drops of blood flowed out as a crack opened on the boy's forehead.

There was the sound of breaking dishes. Aldo released his grip on Heil. The teenager screamed in pain, clutching his head. Behind him, Candy took a few steps back, her hand still raised.

"Damn you, die!!!" Aldo cursed. Aldo quickly rubbed his head, then lunged at Candy. He choked the girl with all his might. The girl clawed at the teenager's arm. The air thinned, pain caused her hand to reach out, but strength left Candy's body.

Heil stood trembling like a zombie, blood still flowing profusely and reaching his senses, providing strange nourishment to Heil's body; opium, doping. He ran to the flat and pulled Aldo's arm away from the girl.

Aldo was pulled back, staggering, but managed to regain his balance by pulling Heil down. He slammed the boy's body, smashing his head against the wooden floor like a broken doll. Blood flooded the floor with the impact created.

Heil kicked wildly backwards, managing to reverse their positions and knock Aldo to the floor. The boy got up, the world spinning around him. He grabbed a shiny object from the dining table. He plunged the sharp object into Aldo's head.

The world suddenly fell silent. First stab, he sang… second stab, he cried… third, he smiled… fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, he burst into laughter… cursing loudly, flesh scattered on the floor with a pair of blood-soaked eyeballs carried away by the knife's pull.

Then… the boy turned a full circle, as if tired, he laughed again and bowed his head to the sea of blood on the floor.