Father, Pleaaseee!

AURORA - A RIGHT TO SAY NO

Why I’m I scared of him?’ I asked myself a little too loud

‘Scared of who?’ Andrea - a colleague of mine asked.

‘Eeerrr the alcohol. I meant the alcohol. I have no stamina for that thing.’ After studying my now poker face, She seemed satisfied with my answer and headed to serve one of the tables. How could I tell him the truth? I didn’t even know what the truth was? All I knew was that this man scared the hell out of me. I didn’t know why? Is it something to do with my past? Last time when I saw him at the hospital I felt the same way too. Whoever he was I wanted him nowhere near me. Just the sight of him suffocates me.

He was heading in my direction and for some reason, just like last time in the hospital, I couldn’t wait around. I found myself running outside to catch a breath. My hands were fumbling as I tried to call Aden. Only he could calm me down. I dialed his number while walking a distance from the door. I didn’t want anyone knowing that I was scared it might cause an unnecessary alarm. Most of all if the man came out, I didn’t want him seeing me. Until my memories came back and I fully analyzed the situation, it was best to keep a distance. Besides considering how my nerves had gone berserk, It was clear that darkness was nothing compared to him.

I couldn’t get through to Aden. I was on the fifth ring now but nothing. Maybe he was far from his phone or rather too busy. But then again he was too far away beginning his new life in the seminary. I didn’t want to burden him with my issues. The problem was I really needed him. I couldn’t deny that I have grown to depend on him for almost everything. I don’t know when or how it happened. Maybe it’s because he was my savior. My first memory. 

For a moment I considered dialing Adam. Aden said he would be in town. He might be of great help. Then again I just couldn’t bring myself to dial. We have never met before. Was it okay for our first conversation to be a plea? Would he really come or would he think it was a prank? If he does believe and come what if it turns out to be my own groundless fears and nothing more? I really couldn’t call him. He was not an option.

Honestly, my fear was up to the brim – a level that could induce paralysis and yet I knew for survival I must put on a poker face and walk back into the club as if nothing was wrong to find Jaden. With Aden not answering he was the only one within the closest proximity that I could think of. Besides he wasn’t bad. He had been good to me so far. My gut rates him as safe and by then, that’s all the assurance I needed.

As I was about to take a step into the light, someone groped me from behind pulling me back into the darkness. I couldn’t even scream because my mouth was covered. I was scared. Really scared. What if that man got to me? But no I would have seen him coming out. Then again maybe he got out through the back door. 

Adrenaline was coursing through my system shutting down my ability to think logically. All that could come to mind was to run away but I couldn’t he was much stronger than me. And I had a feeling that the fear that had taken root in me running would be detrimental. That was it. The end of my life. Something told me that wasn’t the first time I’ve had a near-death experience only that this round I wouldn’t survive. Aden don’t forget me.

Have you ever wished for death? I had. At that very moment. Dying would have been the easiest way out that living with the horrendous memory. I was sure of the pain inside me yet too numb to feel it. I had failed myself no excuse. Even with the memories lost I was sure that that was the least proud moment in my life.

I might have lost a huge part of my life by not remembering the past but my body was intact that I was sure of. As it is to maintain chastity was a matter of principle. One which not many could maintain. I wanted to give myself to a man of my choice. Yes, I might not wait till marriage but still, I had the right to say yes or no. To have that right stripped from me as if it was a mere move in a chess piece was devastating. With my mouth gagged using his tie, I could not even scream for help.

I had to find something. A stone, stick anything that I could injure him with since all my effort to push him away proved futile. I tried to blind him by throwing sand on his face but that only pushed his trigger. He laughed. Can you believe it? He was having fun at the expense of my misery. My helplessness. ‘Try all you want Aurora. I like it rough,’ the man shamelessly spoke in a low but stern voice. He then laid his filthy hands on my neck and squeezed. That damn bastard was choking me. At that moment I panicked. My legs moved to prevent him from getting what he wanted but it was too late. He was already in the zone. He slammed into me; breathing hard groan ecstatically with triumph. He pounded over and over again his grip tightening. Ejaculation was fast. He then untied my mouth, zipped his pants then walked away.

Let alone energy my soul was completely shattered. I was even numb to the soothing air around me. I’m sure a prostitute was treated better than I was. At least hers was consensual and she got payment afterward. Just what did I do so wrong to deserve this? Why can’t I have any good luck in my life? Which unforgivable sin did I commit in my past life? I know he could see it. The whole world might be blind to what was happening to me at that moment but he was the almighty. Nothing could get past him. He has the power to prevent all this from happening so why? Why does he allow this to happen to me? A lone tear escaped my eyes with a realization finally dawning on me. It was enough to cause me relief but it was close. I have heard that voice before. Only one name came to my lips “O’Malley.” Then all went dark.