Clandestine

"It wasn't that easy...'' His exact words after I ran and never look back, there are times that I wished I look back so I'd know what he feels. Did he cry, or is he happy. But I'm glad that I didn't because I am crying that night. If I said crying what I meant is I ugly cry, yes I'm almost 20 that time but I still ugly cried. If he sees my face—another embarassing moments I would add in my list. It wasn't that easy?! What does it mean? After so many years it is still stuck in my mind like it was glued in it and there's no way of getting rid of it. I closed my eyes tightly as I rubbed my head with my forefinger. My friend—Sorcha, shook her head. "Go home, Sloth. Time to face your folks, you coward," she said. I open my eyes and eyed her with an annoying look. "Ayoko nga! Paano if makita ko siya 'dun?" I asked. My voice almost hysterical. Almost. Kasi napigilan ko pa eh. "So you not going home is because of him," diniinan niya pa ang 'him'. Sorcha wasn't really a fan of him. In fact, bago niya lang iyon nalaman after I drunk-texted her asking why it wasn't that easy. Obviously, it wasn't for her. It was for him. So, I had to make kwento about the guy who dumped me without giving me any reason why he has to dumped me. Balak ko sanang dalhin ang sekretong iyon hanggang sa libingan ko. No one really knows who's him. They only know that he dumped me on my graduation day. I supposed to be happy that day. Heck, he supposed to be supportive and considerate and give that day to me. Pwede naman niya sigurong ipagbukas ang "It wasn't that easy" na line niya diba? Bakit sa graduation ko pa? Bakit sa araw na iiwan na ako ng best friend ko? Na buti nalang bumalik after 5 years tapos malalaman 'mong buntis siya pero 'di mo alam ang ama. Alam mo iyon? Ang sarap niyang iuntog sa pader.