Choices (Dear Jann Series 2)

Chapter 4: Novice

“There is a first time for everything.”

I've always wondered why the more I ignore an issue, the more it will keep on bothering me. I tried ignoring things that I find no relevance in my life only to end up being part of it. Just like any other issues before, I tried to ignore what I was feeling when I first saw Markus. Thinking logically, there were no bubbles around him and definitely not moving in slow mo. He told me his name but didn't bother to ask for mine. What was that about? Then here comes Jessa screeching about this guy she met.

Wait. What did she say the name of the guy? Markus? The same Markus I just met a while back? I knew there was something when I saw them talking together a while back. I forcibly smiled and continued listening to their conversation about him.

“Did you know he was supposed to be part of the 18 flowers?” Jessa asked with so much confidence in her.

“Really? How come I didn’t see him dance with Nia a while back?” asked May.

“Because, according to him, he ran some errand for the church. He tried coming as soon as possible but he was still late.” explained Jessa.

“And you know this because?” Ruby asked sarcastically.

“Because he told me so.” Jessa said arrogantly and everyone laughed merrily.

I tried to laugh along, but my laugh was empty. How could Jessa know so much already about him and all I got was his name? Life could be so unfair sometimes. I secretly wished I was Jessa at that very moment. I wanted to chat with him more and know him better, but I guess he was never interested in me. He didn't even ask for my name. Why would I wish he would be interested in me? Stupid logic.

We all went back to our table, and I was again stricken to bones when I saw him there. There he was with all his smile and his smiling eyes. What the hell was he doing there with my dear friends? From heartily admiring him, I suddenly felt so annoyed at him. Why does he think he was so welcomed in our group? I positively hated how he was laughing with them. I didn’t know why. Probably because almost all my friends knew him and I had no single clue who the hell he was. It was pretty annoying.

I sat at ease on my chair once we comfortably reached our table and took my delicious drinks. I carefully looked at him from across the table while he was talking to Ruby and Theresa. I had my chance to really look at him and carefully build my impression of him. Geez, I could be so judgemental sometimes, but I couldn't help it. He had so much aura that made the girls around him look back to his direction. I wonder why.

Expressive eyes, check. Charming and seductive smile, check. Tall, check. Dark, nope. Handsome, check. Just any ladies type of guy, but he was not really making an impression on me. I was uninterested. He was too good-looking for me. Or probably I lost my interest when I learned that Jessa liked him too. Whatever possible reason, I wasn't simply interested in him anymore. Moving on.

“Jann, come here.” Theresa justly called me in.

My little impression game ended when I heard her calling me in. I carefully looked at her and hesitated to go near them. Why? Because Markus was beaming beside her. They were both looking at my direction, and I can’t deny that I really like how he smiled. Still I hesitated. I practically dragged myself towards them. I didn’t know how to act properly in front of him. It was a sultry night and yet I felt chills all over my body and my hands started to get sweaty. Oh no, not this time.

“Jann, I want you to meet Markus. Markus, this is Jann. She is our best dancer in our group and the adviser to everyone.” Ruby promptly introduced me to him.

I looked at Ruby with a comical expression. What was she talking about? I chuckled with her gradual introduction but smiled anyway. I looked at Markus, and he was smiling the sweetest smile I ever saw. It seems like his glittering eyes were smiling too. How was that even possible? His smile is very contagious, and I found myself smiling at him too. The sweetest smile I ever gave to any guy. He retained his hand graciously extended towards me and was waiting eagerly for me to voluntarily give mine.

“Hello, nice to see you again.” he plausibly said.

I grasped his gentle hand and gently shook it. I tried to pull my hand quickly, but he gripped it longer. It made me carefully look at him with questioning eyes. I couldn’t seem to read what was carefully written on his lovely face. It was over shadowed with his charming smile. I tried to pull my hand again, but he didn’t let go so I gave him a stabbing look. He chuckled delightedly with my expression and let invariably go of my hand, finally. I had given him an annoyed look before I turned to look at Jessa who broke the silence between us.

“So Markus, tell me about what you think of the party.” Jessa said gleefully.

“I enjoyed it. It is my first time to attend a debut, and I must say, it is really fun.” he satisfactorily answered while undoubtedly looking at me.

Somehow, I wanted to wipe off the smile on his face. He was no longer good-looking for me. He was starting to get annoying. Urgh, a major turn off. I did my best to ignore his eager glances and not give any meaning to it. I acted naturally in front of everyone. I didn’t want them to see me getting annoyed or else the night will be ruined.

“Jann, what do you think of Markus?” whispered Ruby in my ears.

“What do you mean?” I asked confused on what Ruby wanted to hear from me.

“He is cute. He’s your type.” she concluded with a smile.

“What are you talking about? He is not my type. He’s arrogant and a major turn off.” I smirked.

“Are you serious? He is nice, Jann. Just give a chance to know him. He is a good guy, I promise.” she insisted.

“I am uninterested, Ruby. And besides, it looks like he is more interested in Jessa.” I said and nodded in their direction.

“Urgh! Jann, you are so annoying!” she stormed away from me.

I was left pondering on what made her angry. I chuckled with her reaction. Why did she find me annoying? I just told her the truth. When I looked back, he was still chatting with Jessa. What was Ruby thinking when she thought that Markus was interested in me? Obviously he was not. Because if he was, he should talk to me instead of Jessa. We went about and enjoyed the rest of the party. Markus stayed with our group most of the time. Of course he was either chatting with the duo, Ruby and Theresa, or with Jessa.

“Jann, we are leaving in a few minutes.” Marian said as she sat beside me.

“Yeah, I am ready anytime. I feel so sleepy.” I answered.

“Hmmmm, Markus volunteered to walk us home.” she added.

“What? What do you mean?” I asked curiously.

“He will walk us to our doors. For safety?” she said and winked at me.

“I am good. I can make it home without him.” I answered and Marian laughed.

Of course, I couldn’t do anything when the group agreed he would walk everyone home. He looked at me, but I just gave him a reprimanding look. He bowed his head as if defeated with my reaction. I wanted so much to ask why he was acting so nice on everyone. My friends found it a “gentleman’s act.” I merely found it annoying. Oh well, my friends had their point too. It was for safety reasons since it was already late.

“Guys, thank you so much for coming today.” Nia said as we bid her goodbye.

“Thank you for inviting us.” June said as we hugged her.

“So, where is Markus? I thought he would be walking us all?” Jessa asked and everyone gave a shrug.

“Maybe he changed his mind.” I said and laughed.

Everyone gave me dagger looks which made me laugh some more. I couldn’t help it. He was nowhere in sight and just like I said, probably changed his mind about it. I felt confident that he would not be true to his words, so I just invited everyone to leave. Good thing they acknowledged.

We started walking away from the venue while still chatting about the party. Everyone was almost talking at the same time. There was no quiet moment, and I was glad that everybody enjoyed the night. We were walking down the stairs in the Capitol when someone tagged me from behind. I looked around and found him smiling at me. I furrowed my brows when I saw him. He looked like he had been running to catch up with us.

“Hi. Why did you not wait for me?” Markus asked, still smiling.

“Why should I?” I answered coldly.

“Sorry. They just asked me to help in cleaning the church that’s why I wasn’t able to join you at once. I did my best to finish it as fast as I could but I saw you guys left already. Sorry I am late.” he carefully explained.

“I don’t care. Why are you explaining to me anyway?” I responded annoyed with him.

“Well… I.. I just wanted to… I just want to let you know. I am really sorry.” he said and gave a small smile.

I didn’t respond anymore but I felt a little harsh with the way I was acting. I suddenly regretted being so mean to him. Why am I so mean to him anyway? I looked at him, and I could see that he was really sorry for being late. I was about to apologize when we both heard Jessa speak.

“Hey, Markus, you are here. You made it.” she exclaimed excitedly.

“Yeah. Sorry I was late.” he satisfactorily answered.

That was it? He didn’t explain to Jessa why he was late. I was actually waiting for him to tell her about why he was late, but he didn’t. He just looked my way, but I looked away. Jessa joined us. I was sure glad she stayed in between the two of us. I didn't have to deal with him anymore. I just remained quiet as I listened to both of them talking.

Inasmuch as I wanted to listen carefully to their animated conversation, my conscious mind was somewhere else. I was feeling funny while looking at both of them. Why do I feel like I wanted to be in Jessa’s place? I wanted to ask a lot of questions about him, but no words were coming out from me. Damn, I was feeling frustrated for not having a good conversation with him. And yet, when I had the chance to talk to him, I just spoke coldly to him. What was that about?

Jessa and May were the first ones that we dropped off because they lived closest where the party was held. We typically waited by the road side as we watched him walk leisurely both of them to their doorstep. My head went frantic again just by looking at them. Will he fervently kiss her goodnight? Damn! I hated what was going on in my head, so I started walking away.

“Hey Jann. Wait up.” Marian called on me.

“Let’s go. I am pretty tired, and I wanted to sleep already.” I said as I continued walking slowly.

“Yeah, about that. Hmmm, just go ahead. I will drop by Arthur.” she said which made me stop.

“What? I thought he cancelled.” I asked.

“He did, but he changed his mind. He sent me a message while we were carefully packing a while back.” she gently explained.

“Oh. Okay. I will see you then tomorrow.” I said and walked away again.

Marian and I lived in the same area. Her house was just a block away from mine. Now, I would have to go that way alone since she wanted to meet her boyfriend. Oh well, what choice do I have? I walked lost in my own thoughts until someone tagged me from behind again. I thought it was Marian, so I turned around. I was just glad she changed her mind, only to find him again, smiling.

“Good thing you cha… you? What are you doing here?” I was confused.

“I told you, I will walk all of you home.” Markus answered with sincerity in his voice.