Chapter 11: Attractions
2019 Words
“Maybe it’s just me, but I wonder what it’s like to have someone fall for you. I mean really in love with you. Not just because they think you’re attractive. But be consumed with every little piece of you. The way you talk, the way you laugh, the way you just exist. If you got this, be thankful” Word Porn
The quote just reminded me of how I was actually feeling the day that I was with Markus. It made me wonder what he saw in me that made him attracted to me. I don’t feel beautiful but in his eyes, I felt like I was the most beautiful person inside and out. Would that be even possible? It was something I wanted to know because I never felt it before to any other guy I met.
“What happened to you?” asked Jessa when she saw me that morning.
“Why?” I curiously asked as we were walking towards school.
“Looks like you did not get any sleep at all. The eye bags.” Marian smilingly replied.
“I am fine.” I modestly replied smiling to them.
They didn’t inquire more as to why I was looking so sleepy that time. They were chatting about something, but I didn’t understand anything. My mind was wandering about my last encounter with Markus. I still couldn't believe I just did what I did. What went in my head? I didn’t have an answer but one thing for sure. I know I was falling for him.
“Earth to Jann. Hello? Are you still with us?” Anne woke me from my reverie.
“Sorry. What were you saying?” I shyly asked.
“We were asking you if your class would be performing in the prom.” Jessa said, sounding a little annoyed with my absent mindedness.
“Oh, yes. We are going dancing. We will start the practice on Saturday. They were still debating which music to use.” I satisfactorily answered.
“Do you guys have gowns already?” Ruby asked as we reached the school and hung out in our usual place.
“None yet. I am still choosing between my black and white gown. Any suggestions?” asked Theresa.
We talked more about the prom and what we would be wearing until it was time to go to our classrooms. The day went out great. I was actually in the mood to listen to all my subjects with Markus' words lingering in my head every now and then. I simply couldn’t wait to be with him again and just chat with him about anything. My smile was glued on my face everytime I remember how warm his body was and his arms around me. I wonder if he even thinks about me as well.
“How was your day?” Markus asked as soon as he saw me.
I smiled and gently opened the door for him to come in. I gestured him to the couch, but he pulled me towards him instead. He hugged me tightly as I did the same thing.
“I dearly missed you today. I had been thinking about you the whole day. I couldn't wait for the school to finish, so I could come and see you.” he whispered lovingly in my ears.
“I missed you too.” I smilingly replied.
It felt so good to be in his protecting arms again. I longed ardently for it the whole day and now I just didn’t want to let go. I willingly let him hug me longer until I slowly pulled away and asked him to sit on the couch. He did but didn’t let go of my hand. We sat side by side and were smiling with each other. It was like our facial reactions were communicating on their own. It was like our pleasant smiles had their own language.
“So, want to tell me about yesterday?” he asked after a moment of silence between us.
“Depends. What do you want to know?” I asked teasingly which made him smile widely.
“I guess what I want to know is, are we on?” he asked smiling shyly.
“What do you think?” I replied instead of answering his question.
He smiled widely and moved closer to me. He placed his arms around me and held my hand.
“I don’t know what I want to know. I just want to stay like this with you forever. I just want to hold you in my arms every single day.” he sincerely said as he was looking me in the eyes.
“Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, by now, for sure you know things about me which are not really good. Are you in it?” I asked.
He didn’t reply instantly. Oh damn. Will he change his mind about us? I wished I didn’t inquire about him. I suddenly felt frightened of what will be his answer. What would I do if he changed his mind? Crap. But he was looking at me lovingly. He held me on my cheeks before answering.
“Remember the pageant night?” he said.
“Yes. What about it?”
“I told you I would take any risk just to be with you. Just to be part of your life. Call me crazy, but I never experienced this way before with any other women. I just wanted to be with you. I don’t care about your past. I want to be your future.” he replied lovingly.
Now it was my turn to be silent. I was actually teary with what he said. I never heard those words before and to be honest, I love everything that he said. His words made my heart skip.
“I love you, Jann. I really do. This day will always be in my heart for the rest of my days.” he whispered as he pulled me closer to him again.
I leaned on his chest and just listened to his heartbeat. Call me nuts, but all I could hear was his heartbeat saying my name. I find it so sweet and was one of the best feelings I have since I had a boyfriend. I guess I am finally feeling what it was like to be in love.
*****
“Guys, the prom will be in two weeks. Are you guys ready with your gorgeous gowns and potential partners?” asked Ruby as we were enjoying our lunch break.
“I still don’t have any potential partner.” I invariably responded.
“What? I thought you already have?” asked Jessa with so much eager curiosity.
“I don’t know. I feel like I am uninterested in anybody. I am okay without any partner.” I responded.
“Silly. How will you enjoy it without any partner? Have you asked Dennis?” asked Theresa.
“Nope.” I correctly answered.
“Well there he is. Go on and ask him.” Marian said as she pointed at Dennis who was standing near our place.
He was talking candidly with another classmate of ours. Looks like they were talking about the prom as well. I’ve heard that he doesn’t have any partner as well as which gave me a little confidence to ask him to be my date. I didn’t know what I was thinking, but I stood up and went to him.
“Hello.” I said once I approached them.
“Hello. Hey dude, I will talk to you later.” he said to our classmate.
Our classmate left both of us. I smiled and so did he. I was actually so nervous to ask him about the prom, but I saw my friends silently cheering for me from the corner.
“So, how are you?” I finally asked.
“I am good. How are you, Jann? It’s been a while.” he said.
“Yeah, it’s been a while. I am doing great. Hmmm, so how is the prom preparation?”
“Good I think. I just asked Carla to be a partner for the prom and she said yes. How about you? Who is your partner?” he humbly asked.
I was a bit speechless. I wasn’t expecting that direct answer from him. I really thought he didn't have any partner yet because one of my teachers said that he was on the list of no partners yet. I suddenly felt ashamed of myself. Geez what was I thinking?
“Me? None yet. I don’t have any partner yet.” I typically responded.
“What?! You don’t have any partner yet? I thought, you already have. I should have… damn. Sorry.”
“Why sorry? It’s not really a big deal.”
“It is for me. I wanted to invite you to be my date. I should have asked you first.”
“It’s nothing new, Dennis.”
“Are you talking about the past? Because you know so well you were the one who never gave me the chance. You know how I felt for you and funny enough, I still feel the way everytime I see you.” he said.
“What are you talking about, Dennis? That was a long time ago, and we were so young. Anyway, thanks for the small chat and I'm sure glad to see you and finally chat with you again.” I said and left him staring my way.
I walked back to my group and gave them a reprimanding look. That was a very bad move for me. What was I thinking? I had too much confidence, and it led me to nowhere. I felt so terrible I almost wanted to cry. I never felt so embarrassed until that very moment. I simply hated it.
“What happened?” inquired carefully my dear friends as soon as I approached them.
“He already had a partner.” I simply answered and comfortably seated on the empty chair.
They all sighed and gave me an all-knowing look. I just hated it. They made me feel more depressed.
“So, what is your plan?” Jessa asked.
“I have no plan. And if I couldn't find a partner before the prom then it’s fine. Like you said, I can invite Markus.” I responded and laughed. It was frustrating.
*****
I heard him heave a sigh again as we were seated beside each other on my couch. I could feel that he was hesitant to ask what was going on in my head, but I know he wanted to know everything about my day. I carefully looked at him and asked the question I felt like he wanted to ask me about.
“Are you going to ask me why I am so grumpy today?” I asked.
“Are you going to tell me why?” he responded instead.
I looked away. I didn’t want to make him feel ignored because of what I was acting. I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder. He placed his arms around me and made me comfortable.
“I wish I knew what’s going on inside your head so I know how to make you feel better. I don’t like seeing you sad or annoyed. I just want to see you smile always.” he lovingly said.
“Get real, Markus. Not every day is a happy day. And today is just one of those days that I feel like hating the world.” I typically responded.
“You’re becoming so bitter. I wanted to know if you are willing and ready to tell me what's going on. I will wait.” he said as he stroked my long hair.
“Okay. I was busted by another guy.” I hatefully replied.
“What?!” I laughed gently at his reaction.
“I tried to invite this guy to be my prom date and he just said no to me. How could he say no to me? I hated it. I felt embarrassed about it, and it made me feel so bad the whole day.” I complained to him, but he did not say anything and let me rant.
“His name is Dennis and he… well… he has liked me since 4th grade… and…”
“Okay, stop it. I get it. Just stop, Jann.” he cut me off and I could see that he was pretty annoyed.
“What?”
“I can’t believe you are saying this to me. Anyways, get over it. Who would be your partner to the prom?” he asked while still looking so annoyed.
“I was thinking of inviting someone.”
“Who?”
“His name is Markus.” I said and smiled.
He pulled me a little further and looked me in the eyes. His smile broadens and seems lost for words.
“You look silly.” I said and laughed.
“Ahhh, for a moment I really wished you were telling me the truth. I would love to be your prom date.” he said.
“If things go well, probably you would have to prepare to be my potential partner then.” I justly said and he smiled sweetly as he hugged me tighter.
- Writer
