Danny

“Danny, Danny?” I hear a voice calling me by name. The voice sounds like it could have been sweet and caring. The kind of voice you imagine a young preschool teacher may have. The voice calling to me now is strained, full of anxiety and stress. Her voice usually brings a calm and peace in me when she spoke, but now her panic that pours out every time she calls my name makes me uncomfortable. “Danny,” she cries out one more time. My confused mind registers the usual tone of her voice, but does not comprehend the high-pitched sound. Her voice sounds like it is travelling closer and closer. She is almost close enough I can almost hear her panting between cries. She must have been running to me, but I don’t understand why. Slowly my groggy mind starts to focus more clearly. I am becoming more aware of my surroundings. I try to remember what had happened before I got here, but that brings on a powerful headache. Her voice still ringing in my head makes me want it to stop. I want her to be happy, but something is horribly wrong with me. I am feeling pain starting to make its dance throughout my body. My head is the worst at this point and her crying out my name is not making it any better. “Danny, oh, dear God. There you are,” she exclaims in delight. “Are you okay?” she asks uncertainly. She must have been scanning my body for injuries. She lifts the top part of body to hold me close. I know she is not meaning to deliberately harm me, but the movement creates a new unbearable kind of agony that causes me to make a noise I have never heard myself do before. The noise erupts as an involuntary growl. She panics and drops me back to the ground. The force winds me and helps me to focus on a new sensation. The discomfort now characterised by a sharp poking sensation on my left side tells me that I have injuries on my left side. My upper body hit the ground roughly when she drops me feeling the cold, rough, wet surface below. A moment passes as breath finally re-enters my lungs and I realise that I must be in the road and it must be raining. The rain is gentle and subtle, but consistent enough to have drenched me. I feel my clothes hugging tightly to my body as they are saturated with water. The rough poking stones of the tarred road are prickling through my wet clothes making it uncomfortable. My lower back is starting to ache dully with the lack of support and the cramping feel of the cold, wet road. Curiosity knocks on the door of my consciousness. I feel I need to see what happened. I am eager to know how bad it all must be. Hearing her sobbing beside me motivated me to respond. I try opening my eyes with much difficulty. I feel fear brewing as I struggle. It almost feels like someone had come by and pranked me with super glue between my eyelids. Eventually I am able to open one eye. The right eye is forced open to shadows. My vision had never been this bad. What has happened? I blink the one good eye open and close a few times to try clear the vision with little success. Despair takes over me and intoxicates all my thoughts. I feel the beginning of water works filling me up inside. There is an involuntary desire to join her and her tears, but an anguish that is fighting back. I must fight this to get out of this situation. All my years as a child I had been driven by the need to impress the people around me. I had always been the one to fight against all odds. My mind now working against itself as I lay on the wet road. A tear escapes my right eye. The tear blurs my already bad vision before I blink it away. My vision clears a little as it escapes and a sting on the side of my face tells me there is a superficial injury the tear travels past as it joins the many tears from the sky. The sting is what finally brings me out of my self-pity.  I make a decision to get myself up off the road to help myself. Before I can do anything, I need to get her attention. I know that getting up won’t be easy and I will need her help. I turn my head to her. My right eye now starting to focus a little better, but still not clear. I see her sitting on the road beside me. Her long slender fingers covering her face. She had always hidden her face when she cried. She claimed herself to be an ugly crier. I always thought differently. Her blonde her always tied back in a tight pony, now is hanging loosely over her shoulders. My indistinct vision tells me she is wearing something dark and small. The pale colour of her skin shone with her bare legs exposed. I take a deep breath to try and talk, but fail as the breath did not enter my lungs as I had expected. The deep breath is stopped half way as pain in my left registers in my confused brain. I slowly breathe out to make space for a second attempt, when something unexpected happens. My body is taken over by a spams of coughing fits. There is something blocking the air from going in and out. My chest is trying to get rid of the blockage in the most excruciating way possible. With every barking cough came a wave of misery through my left chest. Tears erupt from my eyes and suffocation makes me want to reach for my throat. On the plus side I had successfully grabbed her attention. She looks up sharply at me as I uncontrollably hack away whatever that is blocking my airway. Alarm registers on her face as my failed attempt to reach for throat happens. I can only move my right arm. My left arm jerked painfully as I coughed, but that is another agony. The coughing subsides slowly, but now the headache is worse than ever and a new pain now registers in my slow mind. Something is wrong with my left shoulder. As the coughing subsides a little, one heavy cough erupts and finally something is dislodged. The taste of iron enters my mouth. This is a taste I am not comfortable with. I have had this taste before and it was usually a result of something bad that had happened. I knew then that I am bleeding. The reason I was coughing was because a clot had formed and got stuck. As the taste enters my mouth, I did something I swore I would never do. I spit it out on the road. I hate myself for it, but my body is not allowing for anything else to happen. Even the spitting is an unsuccessful task. Normal people purse their lips together to spit, but I simply let it kind fall out of my already open mouth. Panic washes over me as I realise, I cannot close my mouth. I feel dazed and confused. Why can I not close my mouth? What is wrong with me? What happened? In my mind a horrible images surfaces of me in my broken state laying in the middle of the road with her crying miserably next me. It must look like quite a scene. My mind clears a little after a few moments, but my heart is now racing. It feels almost as though it wants to jump out of my chest. Irrational thoughts flood my brain. A need to escape compels me to move. Without moving my left arm and using a tremendous amount of effort I pull myself up a little. It is a joke to see me attempt this as in the past I was very unfit. I used to hook my feet under my father’s big leather couch and try and attempt sit ups. I had never been quite good at them. After about two or three I would usually give up to the sound of her laughter. She thought it was hilarious every time I tried. Of course, now it is not so funny to see me struggle. Her face looks at me in horror. I am propped up on my right arm and I feel the muscles straining under the weight. Not long the pressure is too much and I fall back onto the hard ground. Pain radiates through my chest causing a new fit of coughing. My stomach is now getting in on the game making me feel sick. I cannot remember when I last ate or what it was, I ate, but now it feels like whatever it was wants to come up the wrong end. Fear grips my throat as I realise with the inability to close my mouth, I may make a horrible mess and with my inability to move some of it might stay in my throat. All the things that could possibly go wrong is happening. My head is aching, my left shoulder and arm are not moving, my ribs and stomach hurt and all my confused mind can think of is escape. I am filled with absolute terror which now hijacks all bodily functions. My vision in my right eye becomes clearer as I lay there. I notice the multitude of stars in the sky. I also notice there is a splash of colour to join the scene. The flashing lights of red and blue are interrupting my vision. My heart is still pounding in my chest. My chest feels like a heavy rock is placed on it. My clear vision fades as my injured chest is unable to keep breathing properly. Lack of oxygen is making things unclear. The only thing that makes sense at this moment is the sound of the sirens approaching. “Danny, you are going to be okay,” her voice reaches my ears. I hear the relief and excitement in her voice, but I am afraid she is leaving me. The bright lights and the dizziness that is taking over forces me to close my eyes. I can now focus on the sound of the engine of the ambulance. It has stopped nearby with the engine still running. I hear her voice, but it sounds so far away. I am in so much pain and feel so sick in my stomach and I am afraid to open my eyes in case the world is still doing cartwheels. The only thing I think is that she felt pity for me and now is her chance to leave me. I always knew there would be a day she would leave me, but not like this. For all that I had done, good and bad, I don’t deserve to be left like this. Suddenly a new coldness is shoved under me. It is smooth and uncomfortable. With a lurch I am hoisted in the air onto new surface. Relief floods me as the sharp tiny stones are no longer piercing my skin like tiny little devil forks. The new surface is moving and fast. Too fast for me to handle. My stomach decides now it wants to heave. I feel the muscle of my disturbed abdomen contract violently and then a fiery ball is pushed up into my mouth and flows out. The burn that enters my throat makes me want to cough. The impulse to cough takes control and my chest starts convulsing. The coughing, half choking dizzy spells is too much. The agony is driving my mind crazy. In an instant I think this is it. I am going to die. This is how it all ends. I feel the slight bump as we enter a vehicle. I assume we enter the ambulance. I am still unable to control my coughing. The coughing has prevented me to get a decent amount of air in. My body starts failing. The coughing slowly subsides after a while. The voices in the van start fading. I let go of my consciousness to get away from the agony in my stomach chest and head. The darkness consumes the sound of the voices until everything eventually goes silent and I fall.