Chapter 1
Jackson’s POV
Flashback to when he was age 12 .
“Go to bed Jackson, it’s passed your bedtime and you have school tomorrow” my mom yells from the kitchen , “but if I go to sleep who will do the dishes with you , I can’t leave you alone to the Cookie Monster” I say to her moonwalking from the dinner table to the kitchen with my plate in hand.
I give her a kiss on the cheek as she clears the plates and loads them into the dishwasher , she smiles at me and hums a song as she finishes up the dishes , and I help her clear the table and counter top .
“You are my favorite child jack” she says to me, “I’m your only child Jill” I say to her , we often do this then start singing the nursery rhyme.
“ jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water , jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after .“
we burst into loud fits of laughter upon reaching the end of the song , she often told me about her memories of my pregnancy .
When she was pregnant with me she sang that song every day because it was a song her mom had sang to her and named her after , and when she figured out I was a boy , she decided she’d name me Jackson, for short jack .
My mother walks me to my room and tucks me into bed , it’s 11pm now , three hours passed my bed time .
“ you better not fuss when I wake you up in the morning” she says tucking the blanket under both sides of me and I huff in response , “ goodnight my child” she says to me with the deepest form of admiration in her eyes , “goodnight my mother” I say to her watching her leave the room , the door closes with a slight thud, I’m left to my thoughts and I soon drift off to sleep .
A hand holds my two legs and pulls me from under my blanket .
My head hits the wooden frame of my bed .
I let out a loud cry before I can even open my eyes .
I’m shoot my eyes open to see what’s happening,
I rub my eyes hard to get the sleep crust off ,
I see my father standing Infront of me in his uniform shirt but without his pants .
“D-dad?” I stutter
He reeks of alcohol , he’s looking down at me because I’m still sitting on the floor,
he knelt right infront of me , putting his manhood so close to my face I could smell it .
Fear gripped my heart and every muscle in my body began to tighten .
What’s going to happen now ? I had heard of things like this happening at school but never experienced it personally .
He stared at me with a devious look in his eyes .
He held the back of my throat with his hand forcing me to open my mouth , then he shoved it in my mouth .
He bopped my head fast on him , grunting in pleasure as I was choking and struggling to breathe .
He soon released my little siblings in my mouth and forced me to swallow .
My father rose my head to look at him in the eyes and said “I am doing you a Favour , I’m the best father you can ever have “
I nodded in defeat.
What just happened to me ?
He pushed me off him and walked out of my room. My father left me on the floor , surrounded by my sweat and tears .
I lay there on the floor , looking up to the ceiling , remembering the last thing he said to me .
“I am doing you a favor “ it rang in my head like church bells , it pressed on my heart like a hot iron and it burned on my skin like methanol .
I was just sexually abused by my own father , they had sang songs about this to us in school ,
Telling us how no one should touch you indiscriminately.
What happens when it’s my father that does it ?
Is this okay?
I’m sure other kids have it like this at home , dad would never hurt me .
something about this thought process felt wrong, but I took it regardless.
I woke up to my mom violently shaking me , I looked around my surroundings and realized I had slept in the position I was last night , squeezed on the floor .
I rushed to the bathroom as I felt my stomach desire to empty it self out .
My mom rushed in after me , she didn’t ask me what happened, she jumped to help me like she had an idea.
I sunk into her arms and sat on the floor , I didn’t cry , I took very deep breaths every few seconds .
I didn’t go to school that day , that day was the beginning of a cycle that kept getting worse every night .