A Second Chance with You

Chapter 8

“Your assignment, please create a sample memo, to be submitted on Wednesday. You may go.” Professor Cuevas told the Technical Writing class, closing her laptop and putting her belongings back in her bag. It was five minutes until the end of the class.

KC sighed in relief as she got up, glad that the day is finally over. She can feel exhaustion catching up with her from lack of sleep, her temples are throbbing. She walked out of the class barely noticing anything. Wondering if she should just book a ride so she could get home faster. It will be triple her normal fare but it would be comfortable. She wouldn’t have to fight her way through a crowd to get on a train. A few hours of sleep might cure her headache otherwise she won’t get anything done. And she needed to work for a few hours, she’s still short on rent money. Her assignments for tomorrow’s subjects are still undone as well. Lunch will have to wait too, though it might be smarter to buy something on the way so she can take something for her headache. She massaged her temples as she headed towards the stairs.

“Hi, Sir Alcantara!” A female student in the hallway said as she passed.

She paused. Before she knew what she was doing, she turned around. Steven was standing a few feet away, staring at her. Her pulse quickened in response. She turned her back on him again and hurried towards the stairs. Not caring if anyone else noticed. She reached the exit and made her way towards the gates. Scolding herself for her reaction, she slowed to a walk. For sure he just had a class on the same floor and was headed down as well. No need to rush, she’s being too obvious, isn’t she? She stopped beside a tree, panting.

“In a hurry?” She almost jumped out of her skin. She turned and there he was. Almost within reach.

What the hell is he doing? Is he following me?

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. I just noticed you had a headache, you were massaging your temples.” He explained, looking concerned. “I’ve got some pills for a headache if you like.”

KC couldn’t believe he had the nerve to speak to her. Her head is pounding hindering her ability to think straight. She needs to get home.

“Are you okay?” He took a step towards her, reaching out as though to steady her.

“Don’t you dare touch me!” She hissed at him and regretted it immediately.

His hand fell back to his side.

“I’m sorry,” KC said. “I need to get home, I’ve got medicine as well, but thanks.”

He nodded his hands in his pockets. “Do you need a ride home?” He asked.

Is he serious? “No, thanks. I’ve booked a grab.” She lied.

“Oh. Okay, then.” He said, looking disappointed.

What are you doing, Steven?  She wanted to ask. She wanted to scream and tell him to never come near her again but even at this distance, she can feel her traitorous body reacting to him. She also wanted him close. She wanted to feel his warmth again and touch him, take away all the years of loneliness she had to deal with since he left...

No, no. You must stop this. It took a while to feel human again. You can’t let him get to you this way again.

“Thanks again. Good day, sir.” She turned to leave. It took a lot not to turn back to check if he’s still there, but she did. She can’t let him be a part of her life again.

KC woke with a start, confused where the piercing noise was coming from. It took her a few seconds to realize that her phone was ringing. Disoriented, she grabbed it and glanced at the caller ID.

Crap.

“Hi, Ma.”She greeted her mother guiltily, yawning.

The clock on her wall says it’s 8 pm, she’s starving having slept for almost seven hours. Already feeling better, she got up and stretched. She can still do her homework and some tasks for her online job before trying to get a few more hours of sleep.

“KC? How are you? Why have you not called? The last time we spoke to you was Wednesday last week!” Her mother scolded.

Oh s**t! In all the confusion of seeing Steven again, she forgot to call her parents.

“Sorry, Ma. I was just really busy with school and work. I’m okay.”

Her mother made a discontented noise. “You shouldn’t forget to call, you know how we worry about you living alone in the city. Your father told me that if we haven’t heard from you until tomorrow, we would go and visit to check on you.”

Major oops. “Sorry about that, Ma. I was meaning to call today, I just had a headache and fell asleep so I wasn’t able to.” She explained.

“Oh, dear. You were sick? I should’ve been there. What have you been doing?” Her mother sounded alarmed.

Great! She probably thinks I’m terminal. “Ma, I just had a headache. I wasn’t able to sleep well last night because I had to get some work done.” She lied, her lack of sleep has nothing to do with work but her mother did not need to know that.

Her mother sighed. “KC, if working and studying is hard, then you can use the money--”

“No, Ma. I can handle it.” She said firmly. “I just didn’t notice the time last night. I’ll make sure to set an alarm next time. Don’t worry about it. I’m not working long hours like before and my school load is light. I’m fine. How are you and Pa?” She asked, trying to change the topic.

Her mother refused to be distracted. “Don’t overwork yourself. You should take better care of your health because you live alone. There’s no one to take care of you if you get sick. Why do you insist on living alone anyway? You can stay at your Aunt Ella’s house or share an apartment with Marian like you used to! Have you been eating? I hope you’re not filling your stomach with too much junk foods.” She asked, not letting her answer any of her questions first.

“I’m okay, Ma. Really. I wanted to be near the university, Aunt Ella’s house is about an hour away. And Marian already have a roommate.” She explained, hoping she’ll let the matter go. “I’ve been preparing my meals too.” Not completely true, she had to make do with instant foods a lot of the time. “You taught me how to cook remember? I’ll try to call you more often so you won’t worry. I’m sorry.”

Her mother finally relented. “Okay, then. Call every day if you can.”

“Yes, Ma. How are you and Pa?” She asked again.

“Oh, just the same. Missing our baby who won’t visit.” Elena said, trying to guilt her into going home.

“I promise I’ll visit as soon as the semester is over. How’s everything?” She asked, refusing to be guilt into promising another visit. She can’t afford to slack off work at this point.

“Everything’s fine. We were able to sell the calf last week so we were able to pay the seeds that we used for this season.”

“That’s good.”

She chatted with her mother for a few more minutes, only half listening. She powered her laptop while her mother talked about her aunt’s newborn grandchild. She has a new niece. Then she headed to the kitchen, putting her mother on the speaker to be able to wash her face in the sink.

“Is that KC?” She heard her father ask as she dried her face.

“Yes. Here, talk to her.” She heard the phone being passed.

“KC?” Her father’s voice.

“Hi, Pa.” She said, a little apprehensive. Her father is not as easy to distract.

“We thought something has happened to you, we were waiting for your call.” He sounded worried.

“I know, Pa. I’m sorry, I’ve just been really busy.” She said, chastised.

“Too busy to call your parents? I’ve been worried.” But he sounded appeased.

“Sorry, Pa. I’ll call you more often.” She promised.

Eric sighed, he couldn’t stay mad at his only daughter. “Okay, then. When are you coming home for a visit?”

After another half an hour of making up excuses to avoid her parents’ invitation to come home for the weekend, they finally relented. With many assurances that she’s fine and she will come home as soon as the semester is over. She hung up, feeling guilty. The last thing she needed is to spend the weekend under their sharp eyes. They’ve never stopped asking if she found someone she liked after they found out that she and Steven broke up,  which took her over two years to finally admit. She just couldn’t face telling them how much the first man he ever trusted fooled her. They’re happily oblivious to what she went through and she had no intention of changing that. Her father would probably show up with his machete, ready to cut him to pieces.

He’d deserve it though, wouldn’t he? She thought. Why am I protecting that monster?

 But she knew the answer to that. She still loves him. No matter how much pain he brought her, she still cared about him.

With a sigh of defeat, she planned what she was going to work on first. She has a lot of things to finish. It was the right decision to get an apartment near the university, even better that she had it to herself. Her online jobs would be sufficient to pay the rent and daily expenses while her savings would be enough to pay her tuition. I should be working more hours to save for emergencies, she thought.

“I wonder if there’s some truth on those online trading apps.” She said aloud. “It might be worthwhile to look into it just in case. If it comes to it, I might need to get a roommate.”

Not an appealing idea. It’s a one-room apartment, where everything is a few steps from everything else. It would be impossible to concentrate if she had to share her space. She was glad that the place had it’s own bathroom and a kitchen counter where she could cook. But her laundry had to be done at a laundromat. She had no problem doing her laundry but she just didn’t have space for a washing machine nor did she have time to do them by hand. Drying her clothes would be a nightmare too, so she had to accept the extra expense. Her only consolation is it gives her more time to do everything else.

Being thrifty is necessary for a working student like her. That makes preparing her meals herself a priority but she felt like her head would explode earlier so for the first time in years, she bought her dinner from a fast-food chain across her apartment building. Only having enough time to eat a burger so she could take something for her headache and stuck the meal she would eat for dinner in her small fridge. The microwave and personal fridge were also must-haves for a loner like her.        

“I miss you, Ma. Look at your daughter’s well-prepared meal.” She whispered as she waited for her food to be ready.

She enjoys her freedom but she wonders whether it is worth doing this sometimes. Wouldn’t it be better to just go home to her parents' house? She won’t be able to do much on the farm but she’ll be with her family. What’s so important with a college degree anyway? She asked herself.

“Don’t be such a baby.” She scolded herself. Knowing full well that it’s not an option for her.

Her parents would push her to find a man and settle down, have a family. Their idea of a perfect life. She loves her parents but she cannot stand the thought of being trapped in the province forever. She has a lot of plans which does not include farming at all. Grabbing her food with a sigh, she headed back to her room to start working. She started with the Technical Writing assignment as it was the easiest. She’s been doing all kinds of memo for years. Then she worked on her Math assignment next, already wishing she didn’t have to but wanted to get it out of the way. It took her almost an hour to complete by which time, her food is gone and her hair is messier than before due to the many times she ran her hand through it in frustration.

With an inward groan, she grabbed her notes on Zoology. She wondered idly if learning about animals would help her at all in her career. She finished it faster than her Algebra assignment though so she was still grateful. She paused before picking up her notes on Introduction to Psychology. It’s hard not to think about the professor teaching the subject, so she put it off until the last minute. Looking at her handwriting, she can almost hear his voice as he discussed the instructions.

“Right. I need you guys to look up modern psychologists and write a bit about their work. Find at least 10. Write your answers on a whole sheet of yellow paper. To be submitted on Wednesday. Any questions?” He looked around the room. KC focused on her notes to avoid looking at the man.

He looked so at ease and in his element. It was a dream of his, already taking his master’s when they met. She remembered being awed at how he managed his time. As an undergraduate, she felt envious that he already has a degree and was supportive of his desire to earn a Master’s degree in Psychology.

She worked as an assistant while he was an HR officer, both entry-level positions at a publishing company. She marveled at his commitment to become a professor and asked endless questions about graduate studies.

“Do you even sleep?” She asked him one time while they were strolling through the mall after work. “How can you still find time to go on dates with me like this?”

He laughed. “I’d rather lose sleep than miss the chance to be with you.” He responded with a wink. “You look beautiful in that dress, KC.” He added seriously.

She remembered blushing at that, warmth spreading from her cheeks down to her neck. He reached out and brushed a finger against her cheek, causing her to shiver. They spent an hour daily, just walking around hand in hand before he had to attend his evening classes. He’d plan their day on the weekends, just roaming around Manila. They visited Chinatown, museums, old churches, and parks. They would end their day by the bay to watch the sunset. He’d drive her home and they’d text until the wee hours of the night. Then KC began sleeping over at his place, losing sleep lock in each other’s arms, hearts pounding, their bodies joined...

She opened her eyes in chagrin. How long has it been since they were together like that? It felt like yesterday.

“He doesn’t love you. Stop thinking about him.” She berated herself in a loud voice, angry at her weakness. Another perk of living alone, you can talk to yourself without worrying that someone might think you’re crazy. With another sigh, she started to work on the last homework she had to finish. The clock says it was half-past ten in the evening.

A few more hours for my online work then I’ll try to get some more sleep, she decided. By three am, she crawled back to bed and was up again at half-past five. After a quick shower, she dressed hurriedly noting that it’s a Tuesday. There’s no chance I’m seeing him today then. She hated the stab of disappointment she felt. Ensuring that her bag contains the right books and notes for today’s subjects, she left for school.