Whiskey Lullaby

Chapter 9-Izzy

Chapter 9

Izzy

We pull up to my house and we get out of the car. Heading inside my house, Ashton hangs up his coat next to where I hang mine and we head into the kitchen. “I don’t have Jameson. Is Jack okay?” I ask and he nods. “That’s fine sweetheart.” I pour his glass and pour myself a glass of wine and pull the prepped food out of the fridge and put it into the oven. “It should be done in about 45 minutes.” I tell him. “What are we having?” he asks. “Chicken Casserole. I prepped it last night. Figured I could take it for lunch for a couple of days.” I tell him. “It sounds great baby.” He tells me before pulling me close to him. “Ashton, I don’t know how to do this.” I tell him. “Do what, baby?” he asks. “This.” I say and motion between us. “The last relationship I was in was with Jason’s dad.” I tell him as I pull away from him and take a seat on the other side of the counter.

“Will you tell me about him?” he asks. “Jason? Or Mark?” I ask. “Both.” He tells me. “Well, I met Mark about four years ago. We met through mutual friends and after a year, we started dating. Things were good for a while and then when I found out I was pregnant with Jason…he told me to abort him and broke up with me.” I tell him and look down at my wine glass. “So, you had him on your own?” he asks. “Yeah. I went through my pregnancy alone and was alone when I delivered him. Mark didn’t even see him until he was a week old. I didn’t even go for child support.” I tell him. “Why not?” he asks. “He wouldn’t have paid it. He was pissed when he found out I put his name on the birth certificate. He would only see him when he thought it would help him hook up with me. Then he’d go a couple of weeks without contact until he thought he could manipulate me again.” I tell him. “s**t sweetheart.” He says. “Yeah. He would want something from me and threaten to take me to court for custody if I didn’t do what he wanted.” I tell him and he looks at his drink and takes a deep breath. “What happened with Jason?” he asks and I’m quite. He gives me a few minutes to get my thoughts together.

“Jason was such a good baby. Barely cried. Always smiling. Slept through the night from the day he was born.” I tell him. “He sounds perfect.” Ashton tells me, smiling softly. “He was. He was my baby.” I tell him and take another deep breath. “The day he died, I was here alone. Mark said if I was going to insist that he was the father that he might as well spend time with him so he asked if he could keep him for the night. I agreed.” I tell him and a tear falls. Ashton moves over next to me and wipes away the tear. “Mark was late bringing him home and I went by to pick him up and see an ambulance there and some officers. Apparently Mark’s phone rang, and he left the bathroom and when he came back in, Jason as face down in the water.” I tell him and he pulls me into his arms and just holds me.

I pull away from him and the food is done. I get it out of the oven and pour us new drinks. Getting our plates together, I place his in front of him and we sit down to eat. “This is amazing.” He tells me. “Thank you.” I say, looking down at my plate. “You know he was charged in Jason’s death? The state charged him, but him and his family swear I am the one that had him charged.” I tell him. “I saw the article. They said that there was not sufficient evidence to find him guilty.” Ashton says. “Yeah. But I know he did it intentionally. He didn’t just roll out of his baby tub.” I tell him. “How do you know that?” he asks. Deciding to be honest with him, I say, “He showed up here the other night. Told me that since he can’t be charged again that he could be honest with me. He said he held Jason under the water and drowned him. How could I have been stupid enough to believe he wanted to spend time with him?” I ask. Ashton is in front of me almost immediately. Cupping my face, he tells me “Baby, this is not on you. No one is responsible for his actions but him. You are perfect.” He tells me.

We talk a little longer and he says “I have something to take care of. I’ll be here at 7:15 to get you baby. I’ll bring coffee.” He tells me. “Okay. Thank you for tonight.” I say. “Thank you for dinner. Get some sleep baby.” He tells me and I nod. “Be careful.” I whisper. After kissing me one more time, he heads out to the car.

After Ashton leaves, I start cleaning up the kitchen, showering and head to Jason’s room like I do every night. I sit in the rocker and hold his teddy bear and just stare out the window. All the memories of that day slamming back into me like they do every night.