Whiskey Lullaby

Chapter 15-Izzy

Chapter 15

Izzy

After sleeping for a little while, I wake up and am on my side and I feel Ashton’s arms around me. I open my eyes and just lay there thinking. He wants me to talk to someone. Maybe I should. It might help me deal with everything. “You’re thinking too loud Princess.” I hear him whisper. I snuggle back into him, and he asks, “What were you thinking about?” I take a deep breath and say “What you said about talking to someone. I mean, I know not to tell them what happened to Mark but maybe I should.” I turn in his arms and look up at him.

“You know you don’t have to work anymore, right? You can concentrate on getting your head right and just relax.” He tells me. “I can’t. I still have bills. I’m not ready to move in here and I’m not letting you pay my bills.” I tell him. “Izzy…” he starts but I cut him off. “I’m not saying I won’t ever move in here, but I need to take baby steps, but I need to keep my independence. Even living here, I don’t want to lose my independence. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something you said, about what you do.” I tell him. “Let’s get up and eat and we can talk.” He says.

We get up and head downstairs to see Nancy finishing up dinner. “Just in time. It’s starting to cool off a little, so I thought I’d make chicken and dumplings.” She tells us. “That’s my favorite.” I tell her. “If you’ll let me know some of the other things you like, I will make sure to make them.” She tells me. “Thank you.” I tell her and she smiles. After Ashton and I finish eating, we put our dishes in the sink, and he pours both of us a cup of coffee and we head out to the patio.

Sitting on the loveseat, snuggled under a blanket, watching the sunset and sipping our coffees, he asks “You said you wanted to talk about something I said?” I turn a little to face him and he pulls my leg across his lap and is rubbing my leg, under the blanket. “You said that you help people that the legal system can’t or won’t help, right?” I ask and he nods. “What happens to those people you help once you handle your end?” I ask.

“It depends. If they have family they can move on with then I help them reunite with their family. If not, then it depends on what they need.” He tells me. “What do you mean?” I ask. “It’s hard for some to step into that fresh start. A lot of the people that I help are women who have kids. They have to find childcare and jobs and shelter. It’s a lot. Why?” he asks. “When I was home the other night, I was thinking about things. It’s going to be easier for me to move on because I have you supporting me and helping me but not everyone has their own knight in shining armor.” I tell him and he smirks. “But there are so many women and children out there being abused. I still want to get into therapy because I feel like it will help but don’t worry, I won’t say anything about what happened to Mark but what if when you help these women, I handle talking to them about what they need to move forward. I mean, we could look for a few therapists to work with us and help them get to a better place. Most people in those situations don’t have access to the resources they need to move forward and heal.” I tell him. “That what you want to do?” he asks, and I nod, looking down at my coffee cup. “I mean, I know what it’s like.” I say softly. “Baby, what are you saying?” he asks softly, tilting my chin up so that I have to look at him. “When me and Mark were together, he wasn’t just verbally abusive. He was emotionally abusive. There were a couple of times he was physically abusive.” I whisper. “Abusive how?” he asks just as softly. I pull away from his hand and say “He would say things. Like, when I found out he was cheating on me, I confronted him. He pinned me to the wall by my throat and told me that he’d hook up with anyone he wanted, when he wanted. Told me that he wouldn’t have to cheat if I was woman enough to get him off. Said that he was embarrassed by me because I was too fat.” I tell him and he tilts my chin up again and says, “You are f*****g perfect, and I will spend the rest of my life reminding you.” I put my hand on his cheek, and he leans into my touch. “Why are you so good to me Ashton?” I ask. “Because you deserve it. Everything you’ve been through and you’re still standing. You still come to work every day. You let me in. You’re open to building a future with me. You didn’t let this break you.” He tells me. “But I did.” I tell him and he shakes his head no.

“I did. I let this break me. I was completely shattered. I wouldn’t be standing at all if it weren’t for you. But that’s the thing, you’re not doing everything for me. You don’t treat me like I’m broken. You just make sure I have the support I need and are letting me take it at my own pace.” I tell him. “I’d never control you. I wouldn’t even try. That’s not what I want. I want you to do the things that make you happy. I just want to be there to see you happy and to make sure you have everything you need to be happy.” He tells me. I lean my forehead against his and say, “And that’s why I am falling so hard for you.” He presses his lips to mine before I snuggle into him again. We talk a little more about me helping with women and children that he helps, and we watch as the sun goes down.

After sitting a little longer, we head inside and to the living room. “You want to watch a movie?” he asks. “Yeah. Comedy?” I ask. “Yeah sweetheart.” He says before we snuggle up on the couch. We are halfway through the movie and I say, “I want to do something tomorrow.” I look up at him and see him looking at me. “What’s that baby?” he asks. “I want to get furniture for the library. You said you wanted to make a place for us to relax and read together.” I tell him. “We can do that. I’ve been thinking about setting up a bar area in there for wine for you and Jameson for me.” He tells me. “Can we put a coffee pot in there too? Sometimes I like coffee when I read.” I say. “Anything you want baby. This is your house too.” He tells me. I look back at the movie and say “You said we’d make one of the rooms an office. Is that still okay?” I ask. “We can do that while we’re out too. Have everything delivered and you can decorate any way you want.” He tells me. I look up at him again and he sees it. I haven’t said I love him yet but I’m getting there. He smiles and says “Me too baby. Me too.” Before kissing me softly and we finish watching the movie before heading to bed.