Love Is...

You would think that after all this time I would be used to everything in my life. Well, just because I am me and clearly not very normal, I am not used to it. Everything still seems so overwhelming. I am not sure why, but this is just how my brain is set to think, and it is something that I am trying to get used to. Singing has always been my dream since I was little, but I never thought it was something that I would get to do, until last year when I met some of the most amazing people. One of those people just happens to be my wonderful boyfriend, well, wonderful to a certain extent. He has helped me a lot since I met him. I was simply a server at his brother's casino when we met, he works here too, though I am still not sure what he does. He just sits around all day from what I have seen, but he gets paid and he enjoys that part of his job. He introduced me to his older sister and after that everything just started falling into place, now I sing here a few nights a week. I know it's not the most amazing job, but I am getting paid to do what I love and that is more than I could ever have hoped for. "Delilah," a voice coming from outside the door said as I sat in front of my small vanity. "Yes?" I called back, knowing who it was and what they wanted. "You have ten more minutes before the show is set to start. Do you need anything before you go on?" Justin, my best friend's boyfriend, asked. He was one of the sweetest, most perverted guys that you will ever meet. He was such a good friend, always concerned about what you needed or wanted, but you did have to watch him and his hands tended to wander when you were not paying attention. "No, I'm fine, but thanks for asking. I will be out soon," I replied as I continued to look at myself. I heard him leave and it sounded like he was talking to someone, that someone being my best friend, Charlie. She was the one that first got me a job here in the first place. Having worked here a few years, she used that to get me in with the boss. Now here I am, a little more than a year later, sitting in my very own dressing room. I picked up some lip gloss and applied a small amount. I did not like make-up very much, I just did the basic black eye liner and lip gloss. Everything else seemed to be over-done, and it just did not suit me and the way that I am. I had two shows this week because we had a few other performers coming in from out of town. Normally I would sing at least three or four times a week. I was always nervous right before a show, though I have been on stage many times, but as soon as the music starts it all just fades away and I just go with my instincts. I hear that it is good to be nervous, it shows character of some sort. I stood up after brushing my hair and began fusing over my dress. Sometimes I was too critical of how I looked, but this was only before I performed, otherwise a pair of jeans and a T-shirt would do me fine. "Here we go," I said to myself after I checked the clock. My ten minutes were up and it was time for me to make my appearance on stage. Sometimes I like to stand up there and imagine myself in a big arena, with thousands upon thousands of people cheering for me. I know, it is a big dream, but sometimes dreaming is a good thing, it helps to have a dream to try and achieve. I took a deep breath before I walked on the stage. It was not excessively big, but still not small. The casino itself was huge, one of the biggest in the world, so you could only imagine how big the lobby was, and that was where the main stage was. "Just do your best and everything should be fine," I told myself while smiling at the crowd. I stepped up to the microphone and took another deep breath before I signaled for the music to start. This was one of my favorite songs, something about it just pulled me in when I sang it. I never knew what it was, it was just one of those things that happen, one of those simple things that you cannot explain. I was connected with it on some deeper level than just thinking that it was pretty, and I loved that feeling. I could not see Aiden in the crowd tonight. This has been happening lately, and it is starting to really bother me. I have not seen him as much in general, and in a way, I am becoming worried about us. I never had a reason not to trust him before, but now I am starting to wonder. "I need to talk to him," was all I could think, it was all that I knew to do. I was not good with these kinds of things. The crowd was not as big tonight, but people stopped to watch before going back to their rooms. The casino was also a hotel, and it had quite a nice restaurant in it. There was always a crowd, and though they would only stop for a few minutes, it still made me smile. So many people were watching me, and they all seemed to have enjoyed it. It really was a dream come true. I can finally spot Aiden, but he does seem to be paying attention, but instead was talking to one of the servers. The lights from the stage were blocking my view so I could not see which server it was. He was more than likely telling her to get back to work or something like that, since he does like to act like a manager around here, even if no one knew what his actual job title was. The first song ended and I could see the crowd had their eyes on me the whole time, making my mission to entertain them a success. I have two or three more songs to do, and then I get to go back to my other job for a few more hours before being able to call it a night. It is hard working two jobs sometimes with how the hours work, but to be able to do this was worth it to me. When the first song ended, the next one started right after that. A few more love songs, just like every other night, not that I had anything against love songs. I really did love them, but sometimes I think about how I would like to try new things, to expand myself to a new level. The person in charge of hiring the entertainment told me that it would be best if I only sang love songs, saying that people do not like hearing depressing songs all the time. I agreed, though it was against what I felt was right, but I did not want to screw this up because I did not know if this would be my only chance at singing on a real stage. I was glad when I was finally done with the show tonight. Sometimes the lights can get hot, and tonight was like that, causing me to get tired more easily. Though not a big deal, I did want some rest before I went back to work for the night. "Peace and quiet will be nice for a little while," I said to myself as I walked into my dressing room. Everything was how I left it, as always, save for a vase or two of flowers. This happened occasionally, and I always felt flattered by it. Aiden used to do this for me, put a vase of roses in my dressing room while I was still on stage, and I loved it. Now, however, I always check for a card with his name, but it is never there. While I still love him, sometimes I wonder what he feels about me, and I would really like to know. I can never get close enough to him these days to talk to him about it, he always seems to need to be somewhere else. "He needs to make time for this talk, otherwise I do not know what I will do," I sat on the small couch by an end table containing one set of flowers. I picked the card out from them and opened it, again hoping that it was Aiden, but of course I knew that it was not. "Oh my god," was all that I could say. I read the card repeatedly. I was hoping that it was just some sort of stupid joke, but for some reason I did not think so. I did not know anyone who would want to do this, or anyone who would really think that it was funny. I took the card and jumped off the couch, walking outside to find Charlie or Justin, I had to show one of them. I figured that Sango would be at the restaurant since she was one of the cooks and all. That was my first stop, and she just happened to be there. "Charlie," I said, trying not to look too upset, I did not want to make her worry too much. "Hey Delilah, is it time for you to come back to work already? Well, grab some plates and start taking them out," she said as she stirred a big pot of something. "No, not yet. I have something that I thought I should show you," I said before handing her the note. She took it from me and began to read it, and I was sure that she was done when I saw her eyes slightly bulge out from her head. "Who sent this? Where did it come from?" she asked, obviously as shocked as I was when I first read it. "I don't know, it was on some flowers that I found in my dressing room," was all I could tell her, because that was all that I knew. "Well, you are not going home tonight, that's for sure. We will see if you can get a room here, I will talk to Kira about it," she said before telling one of the other cooks that she had to take care of something and to take over for her. I walked outside of the restaurant and waited for Sango to come back, but the whole time it felt like someone was watching me, and I could not help but shiver. I do not know if I was being paranoid, but something was not right. I could finally see Charlie and Kira coming towards me after a few minutes, they were in a serious conversation about the card. I knew Kira would insist that I stay at the hotel, and in one of the best rooms, she always looks out for me and my wellbeing. "Delilah, Charlie told me what happened. Do not worry, we will make sure that you are unharmed. You will stay here tonight, and tomorrow I will have something better worked out for you," Kira said as soon as she made it to my side. She was Aiden’s older sister and his brother Shane's twin. She acted like everyone's big sister, and no one could ask for anyone better for the role. She liked taking care of everybody when they had a problem, and that is just one thing that makes her special. "Thank you, Kira, I really appreciate it," was all I could say, I was just so tired. "Here is your room key, go get some rest and I will get someone to take over your shift," she said while holding out a key-card. Normally I would refuse to have anyone work for me, but tonight I was just so physically and mentally exhausted that I took her up on the offer. I bid Kira and Charlie goodnight before getting on the elevator and making my way to my room. I already knew that it was going to be a long night, but I also knew that I would get through it.