Memories Lost - First of Apocalyptic Hell Series

Awaking

    There was nothing, then the creaking of wood and quiet conversation echoed through the blackness. My head throbbed as if I had been given a square kick from Vivaldi directly. I began to stir when I heard someone call out and what I assumed was the wagon I was in stopped moving. I could feel weight shifting in the wagon and Vivaldi’s nickering to one side of me. I groaned as I struggled to move and open my eyes. 

    “Easy, easy does it there. Don’t push yourself too fast.” I could hear Melanie’s voice behind me. My throat felt as if it were as dry as the desert, I tried asking for water. 

    “Water.” it was all I could get out while I struggled to speak more. Aulcmid handed me a waterskin that I gulped down happily. I looked around at everyone, noticing that there were some differences in everyone in the group. Charles had grown out a good length of beard, as did Asar. Even Melanie’s hair was longer and Caethrynna’s gravid stomach looked even larger, something I didn’t think was possible. She looked even closer to her due date. I just stared in shock at how someone of her tiny frame could grow so large. All she could do was chuckle at my reaction. 

    “I know, I’m huge, hopefully this babe will be coming out of me soon.” She affectionately rubbed her large stomach. Beneath the fabric of her dress I could see tiny life moving around in her womb. 

    “Let’s hope that that little one can hold out till we make it to Eindenia.” I looked at Aulcmid, “How long have I been out?” 

    “Nearly a month,” Caethrynna said from behind me.

    “What?” I exclaimed. 

    “Yes, you’ve been unconscious for a month. The cost of using magic irresponsibly.” Aulcmid scolded me. 

    “Yes, yes, I get it! It was a dumb decision, but it was the best option to keep us off the roads and out of the open.” I growled at him. 

    “I’m just glad you are okay and I’m sure Vivaldi is too.” Caethrynna spoke up, interrupting Aulcmid’s chastising lecture. I could see Vivaldi standing next to the wagon, his neck stretched out as far as he could reach trying to reach me. I reached out and gave his chin a rub. 

    “Are you certain that you are going to be alright?” Vivaldi’s voice echoed through my mind. 

    “I’m certain I will be fine, just going to be exhausted for the day. Going to have to work on building my strength up.” 

    “Sayuri!” Fayrova’s voice blasted through my mind as she came swooping down from the skies. She landed next to the wagon and I noticed that she too had grown, she was nearly as tall as Vivaldi. I could see the muscle tone that she had lost was coming back. “I’m happy that you are awake now. Please don’t do that again, I could feel the strength leaving you and the connection became weak too. Almost as if you were about to die.” she shuddered and made a sad chirping noise. 

    I tried to move and get out of the wagon, but I was still very weak. I was able to get to my hands and knees before my arms became too shaky and I started to fall forward. Aulcmid caught me before I hit the side of the wagon.

    “Maybe you should sit in the wagon for a bit while we continue travelling,” Caethrynna suggested, “no need to over exert yourself just yet.” I sighed in frustration, but I knew she was right. Aulcmid glared at me, holding me with his gaze until I gave in. 

    “Fine.” I grudgingly agreed to stay put for now. I slowly pushed myself backwards until I was sitting next to Caethrynna. I gave her a soft smile before I looked down at her gravid belly. I watched the precious life inside move around, I swore at some moments it looked as though there were two large bumps moving underneath the fabric of her shirt. She looked as if she was just a large belly with limbs and a head with having such a small frame to begin with. “Is it possible that there is more than just one babe in the large belly of yours?” 

    “I honestly don’t know, I’m beginning to feel as if that is a possibility. Is there a way to find out?” She looked at me curiously. 

    “There is, in fact, it requires a simple spell is all.” I placed my hand on the crest of her belly, I could feel the life inside wriggling around. She placed her hand on mine to stop me. 

    “I don’t know, should you really be using magic so soon? You did just wake up from a month long deep sleep. You should be resting” She looked at me with concern filling her eyes. 

    “It’s such a simple spell, I’ll be fine,” she scrutinized me for a moment, “I promise, I will be perfectly fine to do this.” Honestly I shouldn’t be doing this, but I was stubborn and sure of myself. It was just a simple life detection spell afterall, it doesn’t require much magic at all. 

    I focused on the magical force within myself, it took more effort to draw on the magical source, but after a few times and some straining I was able to pull the magic forth. I muttered the spell quietly under my breath, after a few moments a small dot began to glow and move about with the life force it represented, within a few minutes a second glowing dot joined the first one. I paused and held my breath, waiting to see if any others would pop up, luckily it stopped at two. I exhaled and felt the drain that spell took on me, my stubbornness once again got the better of me. I felt dizzy for a few moments while Caethrynna simply sat there, staring down at the two glowing dots that represented the precious lives that were growing inside of her. 

    “Well, you will certainly have your hands full.” I chuckled as I patted her on the shoulder. I watched her carefully as she simply sat there staring before she blinked a few times and looked over at me. There was a mix of emotions in her eyes - fear, uncertainty, joy, and happiness. “Caethrynna, are you okay? Want to share what you’re thinking?” I grasped her hand and gave it a light squeeze. 

    “I mean, where do I start? There are two, two babes, two tiny lives that I will have to raise alone if Eldar is truly dead, I just, I don’t know what to think or feel.” I could hear the panic in her voice and could see the glimmer of tears in her eyes. I reached over and grasped her hand to break her train of thought. 

    “You won’t be doing this alone, no matter what, you’ll have me and the entire realm to assist you. I’ll ensure that you are well cared for to matter what and for now let’s think positively that Eldar is alive and well within the borders of the realm.” I looked into her eyes trying to calm her nerves. “The fact that you’ve made it this far shows a lot. You are doing a great job and things will be easier once we make it to Eindenia.” 

    “Are you certain of this? I worry about how the Queen will react to see me, knowing I am Lilith’s daughter. I doubt I will be welcome there.” She looked down, sadness etched across her face. 

    “The Queen is very merciful and caring for her subjects, plus you have an entire party here that will stand beside you and protect you.” I gave her hand a gentle squeeze, before my exhaustion started dragging me down once more. As we sat there, I leaned back and rested my head against the back of the driving bench, the consistent rocking from the wagon and the rhythm of the horses hoofsteps began to lull me into a relaxed state. I could feel sleep tugging at my consciousness and slowly pulling me back. Caethrynna’s voice forced my mind to wake up and I internally growled at her for it. 

    “Sayuri, do you know anything about raising children?” her voice was soft and quiet. 

    “I know a bit, there was a time in my life where I was a nanny to a few children as a means to survive in this world. Why do you ask?” 

    “If something happens to me, would you be willing to take care of them?” she asked in a quiet voice. My eyes popped open when I heard what she said, I looked over at her to confirm what she was saying. There wasn’t any fear or sadness in her eyes either. 

    “Well, to answer your question, yes. Now I have a question: what makes you think that anything is going to happen to you?” I watched her closely to see if her expression would give anything away. 

    “This is my first time giving birth and I know there is a risk of complications no matter how healthy the pregnancy can be. Goddesses and Gods above only know if anything will happen and I pray that nothing does, but if something does happen and I do not survive, I wish you to be the one to raise them. Even if we find that Eldar has survived, I know he will need help and won’t be able to do this alone either. I don’t want my babes to live in an orphanage or to be raised by a wetnurse only. They deserve real parents and a loving family that will raise them and care for them.” She looked down at her large belly, her face filled with love for these two tiny lives that were growing inside her womb. She looked over at me after a moment had passed, waiting on my response. 

    I couldn’t believe that she had just named me the guardian of her children if something were to happen to her. That was a huge request and one that I wasn’t sure I was ready for. I had never thought of becoming a mother, when the war started I hadn’t given it much thought even after my relationship with Theoden bloomed. He had mentioned once that he had always wanted a family, but we never discussed it beyond that statement. I’m not even sure if I would be a good mother. She wasn’t the most loving mother, the one time she actually nurtured me at all was when my powers were developing and I fell ill with a magic fever caused by too much magic in the body. 

    “You don’t have to decide right away, I understand that it is a serious request and I wouldn’t want to impose or force you to decide too soon or if you are not willing. I understand if you decide not to.” She said in a soft voice, it was clear that she wasn’t hurt or offended at all from my silence. 

    “It’s not that at all, my dear, I’ve never been a mother, let alone had much of an example of one when I was growing up.” I looked at her, meeting her kind gaze. “For you, I would be more than happy to do this for you.” Her face was split with the biggest smile I had ever seen her give before she pulled me into a hug. 

    For the next day I rested and took it easy sitting in the wagon with Caethrynna. We talked and told stories about each other's past. Melanie joined us later in the evening and as did Jessica as the evening moved on. I even lost track of how many miles we had traveled, but was amazing at how strong the spell was. The trees parted as if they were sentient beings, even the forest floor itself was leveling out as we travelled. Jessica told me how when we approached a river, the ground shifted to form a bridge for us to cross and was wide enough to fit two of these wagons and it collapsed as soon as we had reached the other side. I was impressed with the strength of that spell by far, and would definitely have to keep that one in my spellbook for future use. 

    Melanie had taught Jessica how to knit and they both had been working on making baby blankets for Caethrynna. They had managed to create a tiny wardrobe for the babes, but when we told them that they were twins, they completely lost their minds. They began discussing amongst themselves on what they were going to make, color schemes, themes, the works. All I could do was roll my eyes at them before I leaned back again. I couldn’t fight the sleep anymore, I was exhausted and needed to rest. My eyelids drooped and grew heavy before they closed completely and I slipped into a dreamless sleep.

    I was awakened by the sound of Aulcmid’s voice as he started giving orders to everyone to prepare the campsite. As I sat up I noticed I had gone from leaning back to leaning against Caethrynna, which she clearly didn’t mind since all she did was chuckle at me when I apologized. I was rather impressed with how quickly everyone worked to set up the campsite, everything was completely methodical as they gathered what was needed and set up the bedrolls and tents. As I looked around I could see that we had broken through the tree line just as the sun left the skies and the moon took her place to watch over the world. I sat back and watched as everyone worked, Caethrynna of course sat next to me, but she wasn’t as intrigued as I was. They even had a small fire set up just within the tree line enough that the glow from the fire wasn’t going to be obvious. 

    Aulcmid stepped up to the wagon and gently assisted Caethrynna from the back of the wagon, the poor thing had begun to waddle instead of walk. He watched her as she waddled towards the camp. I watched him as he watched him for a moment before I could see that he cared for her. 

    “Taken a liking to her?” I asked him quietly, he gaze snapped away from her as he turned to shoot me a look. 

    “She is kind and soft, why wouldn’t I like her?” His voice was soft for a change. 

    “But what about fancy her? I can see it in the way you look at her, you fancy her.” I chuckled at how embarrassed he suddenly looked. 

    “She is a high born, I am not suited for her. She deserves a high born of finer quality than I.” A wave of sadness washed over him as he looked at the ground and for the first time since I met Aulcmid, I could see that he had other emotions more so than the average Uruk-hai. 

    “Aulcmid,” at the sound of his name he looked at me, “do you mind if I ask what your breeding is? I can tell that you are not just an Uruk-hai.” The look on his face flashed a variety of emotions; hurt, offended, angry, and then defeated. “I don’t mean it in an insulting way, I’m curious. I have never met another such as yourself.” He thought about what I said for a moment, he looked back at Caethrynna before he sighed and looked back at me. 

    “I was created just after the start of the war. Lilith had yet to reach out to the Dark Races and the war had been going on for a few months. Even my siblings knew I was different, I wasn’t the same as them. They were rough and cruel at times, but I wasn’t. I taught many of my comrades that they don’t have to be such savages, many more to pleasure in beating me. The ones in charge of the process of creating Uruk-hai had told me once that when they brought my old body in I was the largest elf they had seen. He had to spend some time nursing my body due to it being near death. I don’t remember much from my past life before I was created, all I remember a young woman with raven black hair and porcelain skin.” He looked over at Caethrynna, “The girl reminds me of her.” He gazed at her solemnly and as I looked him over closely. 

    For an Uruk-hai, he was quite handsome in a rough and dark sort of way. Every Uruk-hai that I had fought against looked more Orc-like than he did. I had a gut feeling that if he was a created Uruk-hai, the Orc responsible for creating him must have had a plan for him. As I analyzed his face I could see the high cheek bones, chiseled jaw and sharp nose, all the features of a high elf. 

    “Aulcmid, do you know the name of the person responsible for creating you?” I asked him, I had a gut feeling and I wasn’t sure if I liked it or not. 

    “The person responsible? He was a sorcerer, but not one who practiced standard dark magic. He had been captured and was forced to perform the magic required to make Uruk-hai before I came along. He told me that I was at one time a high elf before I was turned into a Uruk-hai. It saddened him to use his skills in magic for such a purpose, I remember before he was killed that he made me different. Said I was important to the cause, maybe he knew that I wouldn’t fight for Lilith or any dark forces.” He turned away to look off over the open field. “I know that I am different from the other Uruk-hai, I don’t know why I was made differently, but there are others like me that were made differently. For every 10 Uruk-hai that sorcerer made, he made 5 that were different from the rest. It’s as if he made us so we would keep some of our humanity, but gain the strengths of the Uruk-hai. We are not cruel and cold like other Uruk-hai.” 

    I sat for a moment and thought about this, if my hunch was correct then everything was going to be different from here on out. I wasn’t sure how I was going to prove my hunch, but I was almost certain on this. I just had to think on how to approach the situation so as not to upset anyone, especially Caethrynna, she couldn’t afford to get stressed right now. I looked over at her as she sat near the fire, she was such a beautiful thing, delicate as a flower yet strong as dragon scales. She may not believe that of herself, but I knew it to be true, how else could she have made it this far without giving up. 

    “Well we better join the rest of the group, I’m certain Melanie has prepared quite the meal for us from what I could smell.” I knew that was a fact, my stomach was growling as I caught whiff of the food she had been working on while the men worked on setting up camp. As we walked up to everyone, Melanie looked up with a shocked look on her face before she glanced at Jessica and they began giggling. I arched an eyebrow at them, “What is so funny?” Melanie just chuckled to herself again before answering. 

    “Oh, it’s nothing dear. Just seeing you two together is all.” I froze in my steps at her words. So did Aulcmid. We stared at her for a moment before glancing at one another. As we looked at each other for a moment, it didn’t take long for my gag reflex to react. 

    “I’m sorry, but I have a partner waiting for me in Eindenia. That,” as I motioned towards Aulcmid, “will NEVER happen. I barely know him, I like him well enough to consider him a comrade and maybe a friend someday. My Theoden is waiting for me and that is the man I am meant for.” A lump of sadness built in my gut as I longed to be in Theoden’s arms.  

    “Oh, there is no need to be embarrassed, we all have those that we love.” She said in the sweetest voice. “If you have feelings for each other you should embrace them, not like we have anything to hide here.” She gave me a wise and soft smile. One that I was about to smack off of her face as I felt my anger bubble up. 

    “I don’t know where you came up with this idea, but she is not the one I fancy or will ever fancy.” He gave her a glare before moving off away from the group. I stared her down before she finally got the hint that she had overstepped. 

    “Oh, so you two, um, don’t,” she paused as she stumbled over her words, “Y-y-you d-don’t, oh my, you don’t like each other?” her voice trembled slightly. 

    “No.” my voice was filled with rage, yet was deathly quiet. “My love is back in Eindenia. He is the ONLY man that will ever have my heart.” I walked around the fire until I was standing mere inches from Melanie. “Do not ever suggest anything like that again.” I glowered at her before I turned quickly on my heel and stalked away in the opposite direction of Aulcmid. I heard voices behind me as I stalked away, but I ignored them. I needed to cool down before joining the others.