Memories Lost - First of Apocalyptic Hell Series

Lost Father

    I wandered along the lakeshore lost in thought. How would I even summon Hades? At the very least get to the Underworld to see the Fates. I started to get angry as I wandered and kicked a rock into the water. This was getting frustrating and I had no clues to where to go from here. Not much I could do in this subconscious world. I growled to myself, then heard a low growl from the shadows. 

    I stopped and looked into the shadows, they were so dark that even with my strong vision I couldn’t make out any shapes. I didn’t hear anything and started to walk on when I heard the growl again. I looked in the direction of the growl as I reached down and picked up a smooth stone, as soon as my fingertips grazed the cool stones surface there were six glowing blue eyes like that of blue flame. The eyes began to move as a large, black form started to emerge from the depths of the shadows. 

    Once the form stepped into the moonlight, I was surprised to see that it was Cerberus, the Gatekeeper of the Underworld. What was he doing here? I took a cautious step towards him, but stopped short when his form began to shift into that of Hades, the King of the Underworld, himself. I bristled as I watched him approach, his steps were smooth and graceful it seemed as if he was simply gliding along the ground. 

    “What a pleasure it is to find the spirit of Nyx’s immortal pet.” he said in a sarcastic tone, “What brings you to the void?” 

    “I am not anyone’s pet, nor am I just a spirit in some void.” I snapped back, “Don’t even think of dragging me to the Underworld.” He seemed to look wounded at my last comment. 

    “Is that what you think I do?” He asked, he seemed genuinely hurt as he sighed in slight frustration, “I do not “drag souls” to the Underworld, true dead souls come on their own before they are ferried to the Underworld. You don’t see me calling you a self entitled bloodsucker.” I sighed knowing how that felt. 

    “I’m sorry, it’s been a difficult time here in this place.” I gazed off into the distance over the lake, “Many things have been brought to light, but so much is in the dark yet.” 

    “Well I am certainly a fan of yours, for someone who is a favorite of Nyx you certainly can cause a lot of destruction and death. I was rather impressed by the work you and Ares did.” I snapped my head around to look at Hades. I strode up to him, grasping the front of his robes and pulling him down to my level till his eyes were level with mine.

    “What do you mean by that?” I growled, “What do you know about me?” My nose was inches from his. A look of surprise covered his face. 

    “Down, girl, down! All I know is you were with Ares for a long time, working with him and causing mass chaos and war in the mortal realm.” Those words struck deep, I’d never cause mass destruction like that. I didn’t like chaos or death or war or any of that nonsense, I only fight when I have to. I know I had a skill for battle, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy it. Right? My thoughts began to swirl into a massive storm before I felt a tapping on my forehead. I blinked a few times before looking directly at Hades. “Do you mind, uh, releasing me?” He glanced down at where my hands still held firm onto his robes. I quickly released him to find that my nails had torn through the fabric. 

    “Sorry,” I bit my lip as I looked away, I turned away from him lost in thought once more. I couldn’t have helped Ares do what he is claiming I did.

    “You really don’t remember, do you?” He asked as he stepped up next to me. I looked out over the lake as I nodded. He sighed and stood there next to me for a moment. 

    I just wanted to know what happened, for so long I had simply written those memories off, but now knowing that I was part of Ares’ wicked plans to destroy the mortal realm. I’m not one for chaos like that. This war was trying enough and I may have a strong skill for battle, but I did not enjoy ending a life. I will end a life when forced to, such as when we battled in the Great Battle. I would never take the life of an innocent. I sighed as I glanced over at Hades. 

    “I lost 500 years of memories and now since I’ve been here, every person that I have spoken to has hinted at what happened during that time. You and Leonardo both mentioned Ares. The simple thought that I aided him in taking so many innocent lives.” I shuddered, “I can’t bear that.” I turned to face him, “I have a request to make,” he arched an eyebrow, “I must visit with the Fates. Only you can take me to them.” He gave me a sad look and with that a sinking feeling began to form in the pit of my stomach. 

    “Sayuri, I would love to help, but now is not the time. You can’t visit the Fates when you are in limbo.” He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. “It is too dangerous for a soul that is in limbo to leave if they are not returning to their body. You could become a lost soul and that is a fate worse than death itself.” 

    Frustration began to burn inside me, no one would give me the answers I needed. I sighed in defeat, for now it would be less heartache to just accept that I would never know. At least for now.

    “Then tell me Hades,” I looked up at him, “What brings you here?” I watched him curiously. It did make me wonder what brought the King of the Underworld here. 

    “I could sense a soul in distress, a non-mortal soul. I was curious to see what was happening.” He glanced down at me, “Also I felt the surge of magic, quite powerful magic for it to have been felt all the way in my kingdom. Tartarus started going crazy from the surge, magic as powerful as that certainly deserves the King of the Underworld’s appraisal.” He smirked before his brow furrowed as he looked at me, “What were you doing using so much magic anyway?” I turned away sheepishly before shrugging at his comment. 

    “I used magic to make the trees part and give my compatriots and I cleared roads to be able to travel cross country through forests, to stay off the roadworks and stay out of sight from dangerous eyes.” I stated simply. 

    “That’s it?!” He exclaimed, causing me to jump at the sudden volume in his voice. It echoed throughout the valley even. “Sayuri! The amount of magic you used was beyond what was needed! That is incredibly reckless!” He scolded me. 

    “I didn’t expect it to be such a powerful spell!” I snapped back. 

    “Sayuri,” He groaned as he grasped the bridge of his nose, “a spell of that nature doesn’t require that much magic, with the amount you used you managed to increase the power of the spell. Weren’t you ever taught how spells and magic flow work?” He asked. 

    “No. At least not with magic like that, I have been trained in how to use magic for battle and creating barriers and shields, but spells like this one I haven’t ever used before. Never had the use for it till now.” I shrugged, “All the spells and magic that I know don’t require a build up of magic prior to casting, I just have to tap into my mana wells then cast. It was an advanced spell, I’ve never called on my magic and built it up before casting.” Hades sighed in frustration. 

    “It doesn’t take much to get trees to move. Especially if you communicate with the tree nymphs.” 

    “They are so dormant in the mortal realm that no one can communicate with them. They went into such a deep state of dormancy that it would take a great surge of magic from a god to bring them out of it.” I said sadly. 

    “With the surge you used, I’d say they felt that.” Hades snorted with laughter. “You have a great gift and a promising future ahead of you.” He turned to face me, “Learn how to control your magic, I’d hate to see you in the Underworld as a spirit.” He turned to walk away from me, “Especially since the Underworld is no place for the spirit of a queen.” He said over his shoulder.

    “Wait, what?!” I exclaimed as he fazed out. “Hades!” I screamed in frustration as I stared at the spot he once stood. “Bastard!” I turned on my heel and stormed down the lakeshore. ‘How can he just drop a comment like that, then just leave?’ I fumed. The more I thought about what he had said the more confused I became. ‘Why would he say that I’m a queen? I can’t be a queen. I’m no one.’ 

    I continued to walk along the lakeshore till I walked into something solid, I was still walking at a fast pace causing me to lose my balance. A large arm wrapped around me before I hit the ground. When I looked up to see who I ran into I looked right into the most beautiful pair of striking blue eyes I haven’t seen in so long I had almost forgotten what they looked like. 

    “Hello, to mikró peristéri mou.” His same warm smile that I hadn’t seen in centuries practically glowed against the surrounding night. His eyes were the same striking blue like sapphires. To hear his deep voice call me his little dove again almost brought tears to my eyes. 

    “Patéras?” I could feel the tears stinging my eyes. He lifted me back to my feet, held me at arms length for a moment before pulling me into a tight hug. 

    I stood there for a moment in shock before I slowly wrapped my arms around him, throwing myself into him. My face pressed into his chest, my body started to shake as I sobbed tears of joy at the sight of my father. It had been many centuries since I had last seen him. The sheer joy I felt in this exact moment I couldn’t express into words if I even tried. I was blessed to be there when my mother passed on, but I couldn’t be there for my father. He was one of many that fell during a war. When we separated we both had tears streaming down our faces, he cupped my face in one hand while kissing my forehead like he used to when I was a child.

    “My, how you’ve grown!” He said as he looked me over, “You are as beautiful as your mother.” 

    “I have missed you so much, patéras. Life hasn’t been the same since I lost you.” I did my best to hold back a sob. His eyes grew sad as he sighed. 

    “I know, to mikró peristéri mou,” he looked sad as he looked out over the lake, “I hated to leave you and your mother that day when I left on that war campaign.” When he looked back at me, “The day I fell on the field I wished to see you and your mother one last time. That day was the worst and every day since then has been hard to watch you and your mother from afar. When your mother finally joined me in the afterlife it made it easier, we both were able to watch you as you grew into a beautiful and powerful young    woman.” He smiled again, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

    “I can tell you want to say more, since you saw what happened with Ares.” I stepped back from my father and turned to face the lake. I felt the same turmoil every time I tried to wrap my mind around the possibility that I had done something so awful and now to know that I had worked with Ares to cause such turmoil in the mortal realm. 

    “Peristéri, the only thing I wish to know is how could my daughter, the one who was so kind and gentle, could be capable of such destruction.” The sadness and pain in his voice that shattered my heart. I couldn’t bear to see him looking at me in such a way, to see such sadness in his eyes. 

    “Patéras, I wish I could tell you that it wasn’t me who had done those horrible things, but it was. I wish I had an explanation for my actions, but I don’t remember what happened.” He looked at me confused for a moment. “500 years of memories are just gone.” I turned away from him as I gazed out over the lake, “I tried for so long to remember who I was, what I was, where I came from. I spent years being treated as a slave, then more years learning how to live in a new world.” The stinging of tears came back again, “To think that I was a part of some horrible scheme and slaughtered hundreds of innocents,” I shuddered, “I could never willingly do such an act of violence. I fight when I have to in order to survive, but I never take a life lightly. I don’t take enjoyment out of killing anything.” 

    I wrapped my arms around my chest, I fought the urge to cry again. I could feel my father’s large arms wrap around me as he pulled me into another hug. It was soothing to be able to feel his arms around me once more. I desperately missed him, it had been so many centuries since I had last seen his face and to once again be with him, it is a thought I could’ve never dreamed of happening. He stroked my hair as he calmed my sorrow. 

    “I know, lígo peristéri, I know.” he repeatedly whispered. 

    We stood there for what felt like hours. We may have been in limbo, but I swear I could feel his warmth seep into my body. I can remember moments like this where he would simply hold me. Most of those nights were before he was going to be gone on a campaign, I’d miss him terribly so while he’d be gone for those months. I would sit up every night and would pray to the gods to bring him home safely, every time they would hear me and answer my prayers. Except for one that last time. 

    “You are my daughter and like me, you don’t take pleasure in blood letting. Even if it is for a righteous cause.” He pulled away, gently grasped my chin and tilted my head up to look him in the eye. “You are not a mindless killer. You are powerful, beautiful, and have a bright future ahead of you.” He looked deep into my eyes, “Walk with me, lígo peristéri.” 

    We talked and told stories as we walked along the lake shore. Many centuries of lost time that we were able to catch up on. I told of my time during the Renaissance with Leonardo and of the incredible inventions that I witnessed with him. He told me of how he was able to soar with dark faeries through the skies and was able to glide through the seas with giant whales. It was incredible of the things he was able to experience in death, thanks to Nyx. 

    He told me how she had found him on the battlefield while he lay dying. He begged her to watch over his family, but she told him that she had a special gift that she was going to grant him. From that day on he was no longer in any pain and was able to visit my mother and I whenever he wished, the only sad part was he couldn’t communicate with us. Only watch. It was a blessing and a curse for him. 

    It felt as if days had passed the more time we spent together, rationally it couldn’t have been that long. But it did feel great to be able to spend this time with my father. He even taught me battle moves from his time being in the military. We enjoyed each other’s company, simply sitting on the banks of the lake and sitting in silence. It felt as if all those centuries without him no longer existed. 

    At one point he was teaching me old combat methods and it ended up with us in a heap on the ground laughing at each other. We ended that training session with a swim in the lake. The water was cool and refreshing, perfect after training. Even though we were spirits, it was a luxury that could never be given up. We made small talk while sitting on the bank. There was an ebbing feeling that things were about to end. 

    “Patéras, do you regret leaving for that final battle?” I asked him as I looked out over the mirror like waters. He sat there for a moment, watching me as he thought about his words. 

    “Yes, to mikró peristéri mou (my little dove), I have regretted ever since I joined the afterlife. I have missed so much of your life and many times I feel as if I hadn’t fallen in battle, I could’ve prevented it. I could’ve protected you from so much.” He sighed and looked sad for a moment, before smiling with pride. “Though if I had protected you from those bad moments in your life, they wouldn’t have made you into the woman that you have become now.” We laughed together before falling into a comfortable silence. 

    I had another question to ask him, one that had always weighed on my mind through the centuries. I had been wanting to ask him since finding him in limbo, but I wasn’t sure if I should or could ask him. 

    “Are you proud of who I have become?” My thoughts became vocal as I spoke what had been weighing on my mind. My eyes went wide for a moment as I realized I finally said it out loud. Father looked at me confused for a moment, before chuckling softly. 

    “Of course I am! I am happy that I have been able to watch you through the centuries. I know your mother is proud of you too. Never question that about yourself. No matter what that mess with Ares was about, I know now that you are not at fault for those actions.” The pain must have flashed in my eyes at the mention of that dark time. “I wish I could tell you more about what happened, to mikró peristéri mou, I truly do. Those are questions for Nyx and she will tell you when the time is right.” He pulled me into another long hug, there was a sad feeling that it would be the last time I would see my father for a long time. 

    “Sayuri. It’s time.” I heard Nyx’s voice behind me. It made me cling to my father even tighter. I didn’t want to leave him, not after finally getting him back. 

    “Come now, to mikró peristéri mou.” My father stroked my hair to calm me, he could tell that I was fighting the urge to start crying. It felt as if he was leaving me again, even though it was me leaving him this time. “I will always be with you, little dove. Never forget.” 

    We pulled away long enough for me to look up to his face once more. I could see that he was truly at peace. The tears that were falling down his rugged face were tears of joy and pride, it shined in his eyes. I felt my heart breaking at the thought of leaving my father, but at that same time I felt at peace being able to spend this time with him. His rough hand cupped my cheek as he swiped away the fallen tears. I knew he would always be with me and I would see him again one day. 

    “Σ 'αγαπώ, πατέρα.” (S 'agapó, patéra / I love you father) 

    "Σε αγαπώ, το μικρό μου περιστέρι." (Se agapó, to mikró mou peristéri / I love you, my little dove)

    With a final hug, I walked away from my father for the last time. It hurt to end my time with him, but I couldn’t remain in limbo like this. I needed to return to the living world, to my friends and family, to Theoden, to find the friends that were still out in the world. Even though my heart was aching, I felt surprisingly at peace. I knew it was going to be a long time before I saw my father again, even Leonardo, but knowing and seeing that they were at peace helped easy my heart. I couldn’t be there with them when they passed on, but seeing them now meant the world to me. Leaving them after all those centuries of not knowing was difficult to say the least, but it was relieving to know that they were not suffering in the afterlife. It was also heartwarming to be able to get that final goodbye with them. 

    Nyx led me to the large willow where I met her when I entered limbo. We stood there a moment as I looked out over the lake. I turned to face her, all these questions began swirling in my mind. I needed to know what happened in my past. 

    “I will answer your questions in due time, you must return to the realm of the living. Many things must be done and Lilith must be stopped. In due time I will answer all of your questions, but for now they must remain unanswered.” her voice was soft and she gave me a warm smile as she grasped my hand. I sighed in frustration for a moment, but knew she was right. I couldn’t wait any longer. I didn’t even know how long I had been in limbo. 

    “Nyx,” she looked at me curiously, “Thank you for this.” I gestured to this entire place. “You gave me an opportunity that I never dreamed I’d be able to have again. To see those I had lost and to say goodbye to my father and Leonardo.” I gave her a soft smile in return. She nodded before embracing me. 

    “May your strength never falter, may your blade never dull. Merry meet, merry part and merry meet again, Sayuri.” She stood holding my hands as a thick white fog began to encircle us and soon my vision was clouded over with this white fog before everything went black.