Fated Desire

Seven - Tomorrow’s Kiss

Spring had turned to early summer. Her cousins had left the Palace, and although she’d spent little time with them this year, the rooms felt emptier without their presence. Or the possibility that they might pay her a rare visit. Sunset grew later each evening and the weather was more predictable. Less inclined to sudden rain showers or thunderstorms. For that she was grateful, having secretly dreaded the idea of traveling with thunder rolling overhead.

Sastra had dismissed the handmaid's for the night. Preferring to take time for herself, away from the thoughts of others. The suite of Palace rooms that her Uncle had given her, had felt like a prison for the last season. It didn’t help that she hadn’t seen her Uncle since the trial, but then she hadn’t attended any court functions. The allure of balls and dances had long since faded.

Perched in her dressing room, she wore a long nightgown that laced across the front with pink ribbons. A light robe of a dusty pink rose pulled over her shoulders as she ran the brush through her hair. Easing it through the golden tresses until they shone. Another of Jason’s quiet suggestions, left in the notebook, that she be less reliant on servants to help her dress and take care of herself. Leaving Milany behind was a change of life. Sastra was still excited by the prospect, but the idea of leaving had started to feel distant. As though it would never happen. Two seasons since the judgment and she could count the times she’d seen her cousins on one hand. She missed them, but hadn’t sought them out. Each of them had visited at some point during spring, to see how she was, to find out if she had really wanted them dead. The four most uncomfortable conversations of her life, including the trial. Perhaps the last time she would see them.

Sastra turned the brush over in her hands. It had a wooden handle and spokes made from a pale oak. The back was decorated with a romantic scene between a lion and his lioness. She ran her fingertips over details picked out in gold leaf, worn down from years of the same exploration. It had been her mother’s brush. The Princess dared a glance at the mirror, other than the brush, did she have anything of her Mother? The woman had died bringing her into the world and her Father had never remarried. As a young child, there had been the Queen. Although King William had treated her as a daughter, his wife had never been cruel but she’d been cold before her own premature death in a hunting accident.

Sastra had been told frequently, that she had her mother’s intense blue eyes. Afterall, her father had had eyes the color of a roasted chestnut. Sastra studied the brush again, lips pulled in a wry smile. Both lion and lioness had tiny inset sapphires for eyes. A shadow flickered across her dresser and she jumped. Startled, she dropped the brush with a clatter as she picked out the shadow of a man at the far end of the dressing room, reflected in her mirror. Jason. Her heart thundered against her chest.

‘I’m sorry for intruding,’ he said quietly, lingering at the door that was fastened behind him.

Sastra stood slowly, buying herself time to bring her heart back under control. She turned to face the man, leaning back against the vanity with a nervous smile.

‘You could never intrude,’ she promised. It was the truth. How many times had she imagined he might sneak into her rooms at night, that he might take liberties and ruin her for any other man? Though his presence was unexpected, it was not unwelcome.

‘I understand that you spoke to Lady Lanai a few days ago?’

Sastra nodded, tilting her head to the side. She’d been surprised when Jason hadn’t mentioned the meeting in the notes they exchanged. Perhaps he had wanted to discuss it in person.

‘Is everything alright?’ He asked, quiet.

Sastra nodded, a faint smile approaching her features. ‘I think so, yes…she offered help should I ever need it.’

Jason lifted his brows in surprise, ‘that’s good news,’ he murmured.

‘Oh?’ Sastra was curious, ‘was there something specific you had in mind?’

The man gave a small nod, ‘not from Lady Lanai, per se; but her husband would do anything for her. And…he could be of help to us. I just…I hope there will be enough time.’

Jason seemed to hesitate a moment before crossing the plush pink carpet. He looked out of place in the room, Sastra realized with a smile. Her suite was everything that a spoiled princess had once demanded. Everything decked out in hues of pink and gold. As a grown woman, she was amazed at how the King had indulged her whims. Whilst she still enjoyed the color, she appreciated it as a subtler accent.

‘Your Grace,’ he started as he closed the distance.

‘Sastra,’ she corrected him and before he could argue she pointed at the door, ‘you’re already in my dressing room. If someone finds you they won’t care that you’ve broken protocol by leaving out my title,’ she pointed out.

He paused before smiling. The expression was brief however as he came to stand before her. ‘Tomorrow,’ he murmured, ‘we have to leave tomorrow.’

Sastra wondered if time had stopped. His words lingered in the air as if he had written them in smoke. They hung, tangible as she stared at him. Had her heart stopped beating completely?

‘Tomorrow?’ She whispered the word, afraid to speak it aloud and have the promise stolen away.

Jason nodded, he pushed his fingers through the strands of red hair that fell in front of his forehead. His hair had been far shorter when they’d been reacquainted the previous Autumn, and she had thought him mercenary. Now it had grown out, it softened his features. Her fingers twitched, eager to tease through the strands, so she held her hands firmly behind her back.

‘Prince Arnit is traveling with Gregory, Ilan and a host of Knights to meet his promised bride, so there are less people who might track you down…’

Sastra nodded, Arnit had been the most recent cousin to visit. The only King’s son who was younger than she was. He had mentioned an arranged marriage, and though he hadn’t said much, she’d known he wasn’t happy with the prospect.

‘Sastra…’ Jason murmured and drew her attention back to the present, ‘it’s not the only reason we should leave tomorrow…’ he studied her face, blue eyes searching before he looked down.

‘What is it?’ She wet suddenly dry lips. The hairs lifted on the back of her neck as a chill settled on her spine. Dread at what Jason knew. Did she want to hear it? She gripped the edge of the vanity behind her, using it to perch again.

‘Your Uncle has finalized your match,’ she watched the effort of will that it took for Jason to lift his gaze to hers once more. So it was that bad?

‘Who?’ She breathed.

‘The Rodan,’ he watched her and seeing no recognition for the word continued reluctantly. ‘Head of the tribes, from the People of Staven.’

What little hope Sastra had maintained, that her Uncle might still love her, might find a way to forgive her, was lost. Thrown against the rocks by a careless sea. She sank back down onto the stool of her vanity. As though all the air had fled from the room, she couldn’t find enough to fill her lungs.

She felt Jason’s hand on her shoulders, his soft voice encouraging her to lean back rather than bend forward. She wrapped an arm across her chest, no longer pounding, her heart felt as though it was moving too slowly. It hurt, as though encased in ice. Sastra closed her eyes rather than see the darkness encroaching from the edge of her vision, her fingers and toes tingled, numb. Was she going to die?

‘Sastra, breathe,’ it was a quiet command that broke through her panic. Jason helped her to sit up again, she could sense him kneeling beside her, as he had in the courtroom. How was it possible to feel so in love, and so frightened at the same time? She looked at the man, he was calm, expression earnest as he squeezed her shoulders. Knees lost in the thick pink carpet he watched her without daring to blink.

‘Breathe,’ he encouraged, ‘you just breathe.’

‘I can’t marry him,’ her voice was a frantic gasp. ‘He’ll be a savage, they have harem’s,’ she lifted her hands, trying to chase the idea away by flapping her fingers. Tears burnt the back of her eyes. How could her Uncle hate her so much? He might as well have her sold as a w***e!

‘Sastra,’ he took hold of her chin and stood, encouraging her to look up. ‘You’re not going to marry him,’ Jason promised. ‘We have a plan.’

‘What if it goes wrong?’ She shivered, ‘what if we’re caught? Jason, they’ll kill you and I-,’

‘Sastra,’ his voice was firm, but still kind, ‘breathe. You don’t have to live this all at once. Just breathe for me…please? Slowly…’ he smiled as she inhaled, though her chest rose in bounds.

‘You just need to live each hour at a time,’ he told her quietly. ‘We have a plan. You’re going to leave Milany behind, we will reach your Aunt beyond the Fjord, then you can make your choices.’

‘Did she reply?’ Sastra searched his gaze in turn, knowing the reason for their delay in leaving was because he had been waiting for a response.

‘No,’ he reasoned, ‘but we will still aim to visit her beyond the Fjord, and if we are unwelcome we will make a new plan.’

‘Jason,’ Sastra could feel the tide of panic washing against her thoughts again. ‘I can’t, I can’t marry him,’ she curled her fingers around the Knights tunic. ‘Marry me?’ She begged, ‘make me yours so that we’re free of this threat.’

He bent then, pressing a sudden kiss to her forehead, ‘I love you, Sastra Farview,’ he murmured, ‘and believe me, I would make you mine in a heartbeat. But I won’t take advantage of your fear. Once we reach safety, once you have the chance to choose, I’ll marry you if you wish it.’

‘I will,’ she was on her feet as he withdrew. ‘I’m not some silly girl who throws her affections around Jason.’ Sastra promised.

‘I know,’ his mouth lifted in a half smile, ‘but…’ he took his chance to breathe, ‘but I have promised to serve my Kingdom, and I have vowed to keep you from harm. Sastra, no matter what, I will see that you can make your own decisions.’

‘What is that supposed to mean?’ All of the panic that had faded, threatened to rise again.

Jason surprised her then, closing the distance between them he caught her face between his hands and kissed her. Sweet and slow his lips eased over hers, his fingers tangled in her hair. She gasped beneath him, curling her own hands in the collar of his tunic. His breath mingled with her own and left her clinging to him, desire coiled in her middle, as though she’d drunk something warm. It burnt through her body and settled in her core. He increased the grip on her hair, and the moan he encouraged from her parted lips, was enough to strike a match to his desire. He kissed the corner of her mouth, her cheek and jaw before seeking out the sensitive patch behind her ear. Sastra shivered with need, eyes closed before abruptly he withdrew and left her standing in the centre of the room.

Brisk he strode back to the door, before looking over his shoulder. His breathing ragged as he studied her, robe displaced and hanging loose from her shoulders, lips swollen from his kisses and eyes the color of the ocean at midnight, darke with desire.

‘It means, that I’ll do what is best for you,’ he promised, ‘even if that might mean staying away…’

‘Jason,’ she pleaded.

‘Sleep,’ he smirked as though he knew that would be difficult for her to do now, ‘tomorrow…tomorrow you leave this life behind.’

Sastra bit her bottom lip, ‘good night,’ she whispered but he was already gone.