Playing With Cupid's Arrows

Death. No one wants to talk about it. No one even tells you why they're too scared to talk. It's just the fear that's ingrained in them. It might be that they think that if they talk about it, they could die in the next six seconds. It's not even scientifically proven. Yet, they behave like there is years worth of evidence to back them up. I never even thought about death. I knew that I'd die sooner or later but I never thought deep into it. I just brushed it off when I heard people talk about it. Now that I look back on it, I should have thought harder. Wished more. Believed in something. But I didn't and that scares me. Because I lost it. Then again. I had nothing to lose. My father beat me more times than I could count. My mother was never home long enough to notice the scars. My brother was always with his mean girlfriend. My friends only worried about what was the latest trend in fashion. I looked at it again. The grass beneath my feet. The sky above my head. My mind a foggy mess. My ears blocked to the world around me. My eyes shut to beauty that the world once offered. I was blind, deaf and dumb. Yet, I failed to throw my life away. "We need you to join us. We could use your help." He'd said. They'd asked me to join them. Be happy after all I've been through. Pretend the world was a happy place even with all the hurt I'd seen. "I don't know what you're talking about." I'd told him. By then, I didn't know what he was talking about. I didn't know who they were. I didn't understand and honestly I didn't want to. Who would want to hear a stranger talk to them about a place that probably didn't exist? But then, that's the cliche plot that's used in many books so I wasn't surprised. I just felt like I was being coaxed into buying some terrible product. "You're going to die soon. I want to offer you an Afterlife job." He'd said like people walk around getting offered Afterlife jobs. It's like someone telling me that the RIPD actually exists. Such things don't exist because in the real world, you're dead and you're gone. There's no round two. "Leave me alone creep." I had told him. I'd slipped passed him, walking down the path leading to my house. "When you die, you'll get the offer again. I know that's what you want to do." He'd caught up to me. I'd tried to shake him off. Tell people to make the creep go away but it seemed like no one saw the thirty something year old man following me around like a lost puppy. "I thought I told you to leave me alone." I had said. He'd pulled me by my arm, holding firmly but not enough to bruise or hurt. "Just because you pretend to be bitter doesn't mean you are. Just join us. It'll do you some good to do something with your life." He'd given me a business card then. I'd looked at the beautiful pink colour that covered each corner of the card. Different shades highlighting different things on it. As much as I'd hated pink, it was used amazingly on it. I'd pocketed the card, shoved my hands in my pockets and walked away from him. Halfway down the path to my house, I'd turned around to face him. He'd seemed startled by my willingness to even talk to him first. I ignored that. "I'm not dying. So offer your job to someone else." I never waited for his answer. I never heard what he had to say. Maybe if I had, I would have known more of it. More of his offer. More about the life I would be forced to be part of. I'd walked into the house. I had locked the door because I didn't trust the guy at all and made my way to my room. I remember that I had walked into my room and waited for my dad to get home. I'd fallen asleep but everything from there was a blur of glow in the dark stars and shouts. Piercing headaches and thoughts of running away because I was tired. Tired of it all. But I guess I wasn't tired enough because I'd never thought of suicide. I'd always thought that since the world had so much hate for me, it would kill me. But years after the thought and I was still alive. The world was making me live through it's pain. Yet, I never picked up to object that could be my end and hurt myself. Was I scared of sharp objects? Yes. Was I afraid of what I might find in the life beyond this one? Hell yeah. I never imagined it would hurt this bad. Seeing them all gathered around like I didn't exist when I stood right there. Staring at them. Even looking at the man who caused this in the eye. Wondering if I was worth it. I didn't confront them. I let them leave at the end of it all. I watched each and every one of them pretend they cared. When I'm in hearing range, they'll act like I'm the most important person in the world. When in reality... I stood there and the last boy turned to leave. He left with all of them. Yet, he seemed far. Too far to care about anything or anyone else. I walked forward. My feet dragging across the ground even when I willed them to move with ease. I dragged myself, nonetheless and I would never forget this day. I turned around and slowly left it behind me. I lifted the card out of my pocket, wondering how it was there. But I didn't question it. It was there and I needed it. I looked back one more time. At something that once belonged to me yet, never was. The life I once had and now... I sighed. "Goodbye." I murmured. I didn't need the world to hear. It was meant for me to hear. In Loving Memory Of Lea McCleen. An Amazing Daughter. 4th October, 2030 - 9th May,2048 I said goodbye to that life. A life that was once mine.