To My Younger Self

Dear Younger Self, If I could speak to you, the younger version of me, I would have so much to say. There are experiences and life lessons that lie ahead, waiting for you to discover them. Although I cannot change your journey, I want to show you the wisdom I have gained over the years and provide guidance for the challenges you will face. First and foremost, I want to remind you to believe in yourself. You possess an incredible amount of untapped potential that often goes unnoticed. Embrace your unique qualities and talents, for they will be the foundation upon which you build the rest of your life. Have faith in your abilities and remember that you are capable of achieving greatness. I was this old when I realised how hard it is to be an adult. There were times I just wished myself to disappear and be gone forever. Yet, I always remind myself how far I have come just to motivate myself and to continue living. How I missed being a child; no problems, no decisions to make, no heartbreak, no crying myself to sleep, no trauma, no anxiety and no disappointments. How I missed my genuine smile, my bubbly personality, my carefree soul, and my younger self. I missed the times when having knee scratches were the only reason why I cry. I have experienced many things that could somehow depreciate my confidence and self-worth. I have met broken people whom I tried to fix yet left me broken in the end. I have met unloving people whom I tried to love with all my fiber and left me with nothing. I have met my happiest yet my saddest self this year and still trying to pick up the broken pieces of my heart shattered on the ground the day everyone left me. I have seen myself begging people to love me back and to choose me despite what they have done to me. And that is really heartbreaking. Did I ever make you proud? Constantly thriving through this journery called life, barely living and had no choice but to be strong. I am sorry I failed you sometimes, for there were times that I just could not help myself but to cry over things or people that are not worthy of my tears. I am sorry if I hurt and blame you for everything that I am experiencing now. I am sorry if I failed to protect you from people who does not deserve you yet I still let them in and hurt you. I am sorry, self. I failed you. You are too loving, too warm, too selfless, too giving, and too forgiving. People took advantage of your weaknesses and used them against you. Leaving you with nothing left but tears in your eyes. Every night I cry myself to sleep, wondering where did I go wrong. Was I too much? Will I ever be happy again? Tears in my eyes dried up as I wipe them everytime someone notices it. Voices inside my head scream like forever and I just can not help it. Can someone save me? Will I ever be happy again? Days, months, years? How long should it takes to become that warm again? Is there still a hope to have that youthful outlook of life again? I just hope you, my younger self, is still proud of how I become. Reminded by how special you are ever since you were born. I know you are precious enough to be this sad, you are valued enough to let people control how you should feel, and you are worthy enough beyond the things that killed your self-worth and left you questioning. Do not let fear hold you back. I know you are often hesitant to take risks and try new things because of the potential for failure. However, it is through failure that we learn and grow the most. Embrace every opportunity that comes your way, even if it scares you. Take chances, step out of your comfort zone, and always remember that the regrets of things not done tend to weigh heavier than the trials of those taken. In addition to this, I encourage you to nurture your relationships. Cherish the friendships you have and invest time and effort into maintaining them. Friends are the family we choose, and they will be there for you through thick and thin. Remember to show gratitude and appreciation for the supportive people in your life, for they will lift you up and provide strength during difficult times. It is important to take care of yourself. Prioritize your mental and physical well-being. Learn to listen to your body's needs and give yourself the space and time you need to recharge. Take breaks when necessary and find activities that bring you joy and peace. Remember that self-care is not selfish, but rather an essential part of living a fulfilled and balanced life. I am writing this letter to you to say things I was not able to tell you in the mirror. ---- Please just hang in there. Life is a mess and living is hard but living is beautiful as well. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. We need to figure it out together. I do not need to do this alone because I know I have you in my mind, my heart, and my inner being. Let us cry sometimes and be happy more often. I know it is messy, it is uncomfortable, it is overwhelming, but we will get through this hand in hand. Just hold on, everything will be figured out sooner or later. As long as we have each other, no one can ever hurt us again. I want to remind you to pursue your passions and dreams. Do not let others dictate what you should do or who you should be. Trust your instincts and follow your own path. It may not always be easy, but the rewards for pursuing what you truly love and value will be immeasurable. Never settle for mediocrity when you have the potential for extraordinary. There is so much more I wish to share with you, but I cannot spoil the wondrous journey you are about to embark on. Every setback and triumph will mold you into the person you are destined to become. Embrace the challenges, for they will build resilience within you. Live each day with purpose and intention, for the present moment is all we truly have. Remember, time is fleeting and life is precious. Embrace every opportunity, treasure your loved ones, and find joy in the journey. I will never forget to tell you what the day went and I will always include you in my to do list. For now, this will be my first letter to you. I will talk to you again tomorrow. Please hang in there. I am always here for you. I love you, my younger self. With love, Your older and wiser self