My Special Princess

Sarah My footsteps slowed as I reached the last step, my hand gripped the white banister. I could see my father at the dining room table, a newspaper opened in front of him. The frown lines were evident from where I stood. I took a deep breath as I descended from the stairs proceeding to the kitchen where my mother busied herself with breakfast. I could hear a grumble in my father’s voice. At me or the paper, I could not say. My lips pressed tightly together as I was noticed. I could see in their eyes the displeasure of my presence. They wanted a boy, not a girl, especially not a girl who was more childlike than an adult. I learned to move past their expectations. It would never be good for them. The rumbling of stomach propelled me to the small freezer that housed my generic toaster waffles. My eyes glued to the toaster, waiting for them to pop out. I felt stares on my back. I wanted to turn but I couldn’t let them see my insecurities on its surface. I sat down at the kitchen table, my food looked like garbage. I took a small bite, chewing but my mouth just couldn’t attempt To swallow the round shaped breakfast. My shoulder felt heavy, in the crook of my Eye I could see old female hands. “Sarah I was in your room earlier as you slept. Why did I find these clothes in your drawer.? In my feeble attempt at eating I hadn’t noticed my mother had left and come back. She tossed a small skirt as well as a pair of thigh highs on the dining room table. I swallowed, my throat thick with the soggy waffle dough. “They were given to me” I lied. “Oh, by whom did they come from? Were they from a man you’ve been sneaking around with perhaps” her voice clear with malice I looked up from the plate, my father had set down his paper. His eyes directed at me with clear anger. In truth I had bought the clothes with the leftover money uncle Thomas had given me. I told my mother I had spent it all but I had kept a few dollars. They weren’t for a man to look upon me in. It was simply a way to feel childlike-to escape the plot of my life. I shook my head, “No mother they were not from a man, Stella really did lend me her clothing.” I did not want to stick around to feel their voices rise but my body felt glued to the chair. I couldn’t move, my fear rising to full force. Tears pricked my eyes as I saw my father’s eyebrows quirk, a disbelieving look clear on his old face. The deep baritone of his voice shook me out of my thoughts. I gripped the seat of the chair, bracing for impact. “So you say your friend- Stella had these clothes in her possession and you simply asked for them. I cannot see why, however, these things you call clothing, more like fabric are not appropriate for an 18-year-old girl.” He words were predictable, my Mother’s were that of true harshness. Both combined were a twister rocking my world haphazardly. “Yes, this makes you look like a common w***e or worse prey for some s*x offender. Don’t worry I’ll be removing these clothes from our household promptly. I’m sure Stella won’t mind you “keeping” them.” Feeling the courage to stand up, I ran up the stairs slamming the door of my bedroom. My heart thundered, wanting leap right out of my chest. My body sagged against the wall until my bottom hit the hardwood floor. Now that I was alone I let my tears fall freely. She took everything and he just sat there and did nothing. I wanted to leave but where would I go? How would I survive? I liked to pretend I was tough a true rebel but underneath I just wanted love. For someone to accept me for me. I heard the click of a lock, running to the door I tried to turn the knob. It was locked! I was trapped with no food or water. Outside I could hear faint whispers. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know who locked me in. I collapsed, my back against the door. My head buried in my knees, I closed my eyes wishing this nightmare was over. ~~~~~~~~~~ My eyes dry with tears as the moonlight shone through the window. Did I fall asleep, I couldn’t remember closing my eyes. It was night and no one had come to check on me. I should feel grateful, I wanted to but all I felt was sadness. It wasn’t about the clothes or what they took from me. It was the fact that no matter what I did I would always be nothing to the people I thought were supposed to love me regardless. Standing up I lay on top of my wrought iron frame bed. I couldn’t sleep, so I lay staring at the cracked ceiling. The click of the lock made me bolt upright. I pressed my lips together tightly. I wanted to show whoever was entering I wasn’t weak. On the inside, my blood was ice cold. The door opened so slow I could hear each creak from the old hinges. My mother, covered in her nightgown swiftly walked over to me. “Don’t think you are off the hook. Tomorrow we will continue our little discussion from earlier. Now good night dear” She patted my head and shut the door locking the door behind her. I pulled my teddy bear out from under the bed, slipping the pad of my thumb in my mouth. My mind was full and my stomach was empty. For some reason, I was uneasy about tomorrow and their “discussion”. It felt like a setup. I did not want to sleep while this was brewing over in my head but my body felt different. I felt my eyes closing, drifting to a dreamless state ~~~~~~ I was startled awake by the banging of my door. It was coming from the outside, my clock read 8:30 am. It was early but I didn’t expect anything different since both of them got up at the crack of dawn. I tucked my teddy bear under the bed once more. Exiting I brushed my teeth and brushed my tangled mess of hair. A firm knock interrupted my motion. “Come downstairs when you are finished,” my mother said authoritatively. I walked down the stairs, taking a deep breath as I reached the final one. A strange man stood in the small living room. I wanted to assume he was a burglar but he was wearing a suit. I didn’t hear him talking until he said my name reputedly I might add. I shook my head and glared. Who was this man? Why was he in the house? Where were my parents when I need them? “Hello, my name is Tristan. I have heard so much about you and I can’t wait for us to begin our new life together.” He smiled, but it did not reach his eyes. Something was off about him. Something not quite right. My parents decided to make their appearance. I was baffled when I saw them. My mother had placed makeup, something she never wore or her brown skin. My father decked out in a suit and tie. They never wore such things. What was going on here? “I see you have become acquainted. Your mother and I had planned to do this in the coming weeks however in light of recent events we’ve been forced to speed this up.” I interrupted my father, “Speed what along, what is going on here. Who is this man!” He shot me a pointed look and continued. “Well, Tristan here is going to be your husband. I handpicked him myself.” I wanted to throw up at that my father said. Here he stood smiling proudly like he had won the lottery and I was to be shipped off like cattle. My mother then piped up “Face it, dearie, we know you like the opposite s*x and while that is good you are straight. I… we will not be the talk of the community as you engage in your flamboyant ways, with your twisted preferences. You think we don’t know about the things you keep under your bed or in your closet. While you slept I went through your things and came upon more slut clothing as well as toys. Your 18 and this marriage will put you on the straight path into adulthood.” I wrapped my arms around myself, I felt cold all over. I wanted to laugh, cry and scream all at once. When I felt the unfamiliar hand on my waist. I stumbled forward, out of the disgusting hold. “There is no way in hell I would marry someone you chose for me. I would rather die first then be married to some freak.” Fury evident on my facial features, I ran past my parents and the stranger to my bedroom. I couldn’t stay here any longer. If this was the life they wanted for me, I wanted no part of it. I pulled out my lavender backpack, tossing underwear clothes, glasses, and shoes. My important documents I sealed into a plastic bag. Tears leaked with anger but I had to get out of this house, not fight. It wasn’t time for a fight. With the smallest room left I stuffed my teddy bear plus two cute childlike outfits, I enjoyed wearing. Zipping up the strap I slung the bag over my shoulder. There was nothing to look back at as I closed the door to the sleeping quarters of eighteen years. I ran down the steps only to be grabbed and shoved against a wall. I stared directly at my mother and father. My father’s hand was on my shoulder and my mother’s finger was shoved in my face. I could faintly see husband dearest in the background. A slap to my cheek made me refocus on my parent's harsh words. “If you walk out that f*****g door, I swear to god I will find you and drag you back here by your hair. You will regret behaving this way.” My father said, trying but failing to not grit the teeth in his mouth. My mother then took her turn “You won’t last a Day in the real world. I bet you’ll be begging to come back this very same day.” She added on my father’s threat. I pushed away from them as they bickered amongst one another. I ran to the front door, throwing it open I ran and I didn’t stop. My legs hurt while my chest burned from the exertion. I realized I was in the business district, high rise buildings were everywhere along with a Starbucks and small cafe. I sat down at the corner of one the high rise buildings trying to catch my breath. Burying my head in my knees I tried to tune out the world. I didn’t hear the footsteps approaching me. “Miss, do you mind vacating the premises immediately. You're sullying up the reputation of this building by sitting here.” An unknown voice instructed. I was ready to bite back at the stranger until I saw his face.