DIARY OF A MAN WHO ONCE LOVED

Your my first love my first hug my first kiss my first miss my first person in the line of defense my offense my cheerleader my best friend my healer my heater when my soul is cold the reason why I fold when ever your name is mentioned as you can see no matter the case in life I'll always put you first ill forever hold you down They say if a man can leave so easly then he never loved her cause if she's his all he wouldn't be able to leave I now know what that feels like I now know the pain that comes with that thought of action the fear that sets in thinking one day it's going to be over so you crawl into space of defense for what ever goes wrong can be determined by you was the best decision related to guarding your heart for if she cares for you then she will for ever stay by your side healing herself aside you that one day loving each other would seem like one thought if hurting her dosnt hurt you that shows very little she means nothing to you don't leave because you not where you wanna be because the future is a story that only people who fight for what they want can tell she's been hurt also and wounds take time to heal Oh how i dream of your kisses and melt from your touch the nights I spend alone I miss you so much craving your soul that it may hold me up in times I feel I have no power Everything around you grows from roses to the flowers everything you touch has abundance your existence is the key to my success Your soul is my street light guiding me through life when the road seems tight reminding me its ok to hurt but never stop the fight the world needs more of you but I'm ecstatic your mine love being so pure it gets better with time like aged wine I can travel the world just from looking in your eyes Shadows fear the light she gives the earth her worth breaks every scale known to man her love is unique leaving thus person to grow into the person there legend causes them to be with a simple hi she can turn a horrible day to the best day you have ever had her smile gives off radiation that cuts deep through depression she a gift from the heavens I'm grateful she is all mine From the way I feel when you smile to what i sense miles away other then you magnificent there's a million reasons I'd want you to stay in my life looking at you never gets old even If I were bold enough to ask you out I'd stay silent and over fill with doubt cause you help me heal in away I couldn't do by myself may you smile upon seeing this Fixation on your presence I embrace my fears and approach such a blessing such what I see can only be described in actions for in this case my words lack an amount of passion that your existence deserves trapping me in a state of aww wishing upon a star I stay frozen in the state of mind Deep relaxation set in with the slightest touch from your warm silky skin for then my mind turns into a projection screen and I can finally see what love is supposed to be hidden under a tree rooted from the river of wisdom you reached out falling into your hand I sprout into the person I was before the drought reborn from the ashes I was set to fail in I enjoy loving you I enjoy having you in my life everything has improved like for example the way that I write its more vibrant no longer living in silence you've unlocked something that's in me that was quiet because of violence a Valve in my heart you behold the key to a freedom I have with out I cant see that's why I say I need you more then you need me When I first saw you the world went dark for about 5 seconds you were as bright as a star the way I fell to my feet when you smiled at me to the breath that taken as we had our first conversation tryna concentrate on the fact you exist is so hard cause I never guessed you'd be this amazing right down to freckles in your face the pace in wich you walk no one's perfect in this world but to me you very much are The obsession I have for you is unexplainable I couldn't stop loving you if I tried but that's the thing I'd never want to try because the moment your gone my life is over I believe you were made just to love me and turn my sight around giving me such a warm heart that the slightest bit of evil couldn't change who I am I know you would never hurt me I love you in the most deepest way possible You ever fall in love with your bestfriend Someone who you'd follow to the end And when the presence is gone it paralyzes Your skin Hours feels like days turn into weeks and you become so weak that any glimmer of there perfection changes your perspective like a dose of medicine how the planets form a line when she smiles at night and how she always seems to text at the right time Facetiming all day different schedules but that's OK for my wildest dreams couldn't compare to the moment I witnessed a glare in your eyes from miles apart I'll never leave your side Peace, the one thing I was in search for that I now have your eyes spins violent through the atmosphere killing that wich hurt me in my past your arms wrapped around me at this moment I feel freedom at last the struggle is over, your feet with every waking step I worship the very ground you walk upon when I say worship openingly confess that you are the love of my life and that with out you by my side I'd still be blinded by the dim light called my brain for you have taught me to have no shame that my wrongs are released with out punishment for you are there overseeing restoration that I may become the man I was designed to be as I melt from the sweetness of your voice Your my bestfriend your the love of my life the reason I live the reason I fight before I make a move I see how it effects you if I ever leave home your the first text I sent to and won't go on with it going through your more then exceptbale your incredible My heart drops at the sound of your voice Your footsteps alone wakes my spirit in the moment of feeling sad it's amazing how you saved me and I turned to the person I was supposed to be the flutter of your hair in the wind knocks me off my feet for no medicine can help my body recover from the love taps of your smile I'm instantly overcame with emotions and the room become black isolating everything now it's me and you May these roses fall before you in the waking of your presence this day forward the world is sent a message only coming from one's mouth leaving what can only be described as a heavenly tone you were given to the world so it couldn't fall your love is felt across the land The earth tilts its rotation when we don't talk When I talk I'm not while there's a missing part the flower there bloom is brought to a halt and my life feels like its falling apart I love you so much I can't explain your the women in the world to control my pain who stops the rain from being insane thunder and lightning quickens the drain of energy I have your more then a friend you are a part of me The moment I saw you my chains broke in ways I never expected I told you my fears and from those you protected me your eyes are a gateway I wish to have access to your body is a map I plead to life to explore as life made you for me the same I was made for you At first I thought you would hurt me but quickly I see that your an angel above all things spreading your wings in amazement I lose words to say I'll love you always and appreciate you day by day To look away from you would be extremely hard For my eyes have made set destination and are fueled by admiration as such potential and notable assets such as the way you love is seeping through your beautiful skin your mind so exquisite everyday I must gaze upon this fantastic creation of women that wish to someone be so apart of her life that we tie knots Seen a rainbow today I followed it and I found you when i miss you I feel empty when I'm with you I feel love endlessly your breath gives me life that I may shout for joy and brag to the world your the love of my life your personality glows with no limits When we are apart I cry alot but ill never let you know and I won't let you see Year after year it's gets more difficult to hide the pain I'm holding in that which feels like the red sea but yet you say you love me Which I can believe because you loved me when you didn't have to and for that I'm willing to go through what ever it is my love Everyday I don't see you is a month worth of winter temperature lowers and I get the shivers waking up wit you not beside me is a nightmare I've learned to Bair I'd give anything to have you I swear the love the my life so far but very near When ever I see you my heart rushes in excitement and my thoughts disappear basking in your presence I have no fear when I'm in trouble your always near forever in my heart I hold you dear as I walk in the path your royalty your majesty I'm a changed man that I may dive in my purpose showered in excellence you've changed my life entirely Can you see that I love you the things I do to show you the reason my world revolves around you like a perfectly made circle with you gravity don't exists for how I see it without you I don't exist that you being my source of oxygen making everything that's happend not as bad as it seemed nothing makes since with out you just let me love you I promise this will never end Your words are miraculous given me strength that I fought to achieve alone your thoughts simultaneously echoed with mines that we may see the true love we have for each other I'd climb 3 stories blind folded to rescue you your existence is like food to my soul making me whole again daily feeling the whole that was once in my heart the spark that created the very man I am today forever loved by me My favorite song is your voice favorite feature is your torn down by those who can't except your love is pure but I am for sure and thankful you found me I was lost in my thoughts isolated from others and pick me up outta rubles so deep wich that resembles trenches deeper then the Mariana my guardian, I feel as if I must protect constantly you are the reason for my growth Amazing how your inner beauty sets flares into the atmosphere making the lives of other maintainable but because I've been hurt alot this also makes me scared because I have given you a piece of me that no one has ever seen and it's taking everything in me to belive that you actually love me Look in the mirror that smile there is what I like to see it's what I use for motivation when I'm lost at sea when the pain in my past trys and disrupt the paths of slacks made from good times that combined to make a raft it ain't perfect so I constantly sink but when that happens I wake up at your feet your existence being my life line that I may shine despite the war crimes committed towards me from this thing I cannot see your love sets me free as if I'm a phoenix rising from the ashes of a dead tree in this case would be failed attempts on my dream the trauma haunting me nightly won't let me be so I push even harder now it's on the sheets the one place I confined in when I don't want to bear you with this seeing that your a mother to an amazing king and queen I shall overcome this adversity Dimly lit room rose peddles follow our every movement for days I thought of you together nights well spent heart beats in sync peaceful medodies sing through the night sky as our bodies become one with nature relaxing us giving me awareness of the such beauty I am appalled of witnessing for the moon light reflects off your eyes making the moment in wich we find unbelievable wishing upon a star that time is brought to a halt therefor allowing this unsavoring event to never end I adore you I didn't fall for you because your beautiful or cause your voice is smooth yet fears cutting all nonsense in my life not because I thought you was so pretty and it would be cool to date you the moment I fell in love with you is when you picked me up and wiped my tears away the angelic look on your face I knew I was safe fighting by myself I trusted no one then there you a rose like a blazing sun you were my bestfriend before all this now I can't imagine life with out you and because of that I realized I love you more then thoughts can bare I was down and couldn't push you gave me all your love making everything better when you say I love you my heart re shatters everything you say matters I only see you my bestfriend my reason of living the awnser to my question that's always floating life is terrific when your beside i can't see anyone I'd rather be with A house is not a home see a house has floors and many doors while a home shuts out noise a place where stability is not ignored and your heart is allowed to mourn only exception is you become better then you were before you can have a house and be poor where if you have home your never dethroned where ever you are my love is called home and I never felt this before Your smile shines bright blocking out sunlight giving 100% life to the lifeless wich i was one of those before having sight of the most beautiful women on the face of this planet the most inportant person in my life the reason i fight and hold on to dear life loving me isnt easy but your love effortlessly changed me back into the person i was before learning of your existence being with you has taught me alot one of those lessons being that its ok to be afraid i dont have to hold things back and because i made a promise to never lie to my queen when asking me whats wrong i find myself frozen seeing in that moment i have to hold back my tears and say whats on my mind that being souly the main reason i dont talk sometimes never wanting to upset you because your a strong mentally independent women that wont stop at nothing to do right by her kids Deep rotation of loving sensations thrive and move through every second we make eye contact the contract between my soul and your heart is surgically implanted so what ever we go through it's destiny we stay soul mates there's no place I'd rather be just at the sound of your name my love grows expeditiously taking over my movements rendering me speechless praying hard as can they our paths cross soon for sleep isn't easy to consume when the love of your life isn't close to you something small as a bracelet keeps the tears at bay as a sign that your existence is here to say now nights are easier sustained with out a second being stained by the crys of my brain when the moon comes out and sing I notice when you said I love you i noticed when your thoughts start getting to you I noticed the sun being brighter when you start to grin I noticed the moon glowing more you start to spin I noticed time move slower with every step you take I noticed when you talk you take my breath away but do you notice this when you see your self in the mirror maybe you do or if you don't matter as Long as I breathe life I'll help you see it my love for you will never die I cried and you let me with your voice I'm set free some days are rough like the waves of the red sea I gave up and you pushed me through times I felt like I didn't deserve you you still stayed true my pain drip silent never to return dry but everything is better with you in my life my heart beats increase when you say you love me even if I don't see sometimes I feel for you is underestimating the true thoughts that's thrive in my mind when ever your lashes flutter in slow motion as you smile at me You swept my emotions with your wings of affection my hands coast your delicate frame As my fingers trickle through every string of your harmonized body face sculpted by a team of artist who seen life through the lens of admiration I fall to my feet Your wings soar across the land Like the flow of music your life itself is incredible and potent the way you love is similar to a potion fast acting and long lasting only side effect is accepting the fact this is life's purpose no longer worried anxious mindset buried arising into a new man who understands courage these are the reasons I love you I will always love you even when times we don't speak the moment you said you love me I became weak to my knees your spirit speaks to me like hydration to skin fueling me with confidence from within having chills when I text and press send cause the things you say are that of a fruitful blend and in my heart I know this will never end the one women that ever held me accountable for my actions the things I say increase sensitivity for its brought upon passion for your sweet soul is permanent and long lasting finding you at last your impact on my life was fast acting being better then any medicine ever you are the love I've Longley searched for my love for you burns entirely as if a floating ember fight through the typhoon of others jeaulsy you truly make me a better person there's no place I'd rather be they say birds of a feather flock together just by you being around changes the weather your my safe haven in times of disparity at the end of the day I'll fight for you and I know you'll fight for me To see you down is the worst feeling for me I'm also certain we share the same body when I'm in your presence the sun gets brighter birds start chirping my heart stops hurting sitting back while you do you your amazing hair I don't want to get off the phone cause your tone leaves when you hang up I love it when you curl your hair pounds of anger of and depression starts to tear and leave cause me and you is all I wanted there to be Your hair laid down isn't the tip of the iceberg its love that glimmers with every word that you say every text is on time ever conversation we've had stays on my mind the sound of your voice is like wind chimes gently flowing through the hour glass of time matching its rhythm it kills me to be far but so close at the same time will this ever be more then what it is. Flawless in every kind of way when I look at you all my problems fade away sassy a little bit but that’s fine with me cause you make me the happiest I never imagined I could be before you came I was lost but now I’m found your voice is truly an angelic sound no romantic scene can be any better than you holding me your touch amplifying my heart so I feel empty when we're apart staring into your eyes because at that point time freezes clinging to you at that moment to fill the empty pieces help me get out of this place called my mind wich the streets run rapid on the things I left behind your the awnser I always needed but I still feel alone like you never existed polishing my craft like that's all I have when you push me everyday to become the man I can your the sunshine in my eyes the beat to my heart I feel incomplete whenever we are apart to be apart of your reality it's as if I won the lottery for ruby's and diamonds fall from your feet with every step you take like wind flowing through a harp your godess like voice makes the tulips blossom your existence bring me joy and abundance when I look at you I'm honestly speechless holding on to you thus are missing pieces of me telling you all my secrets but my true intentions or constricted due to pain of my past inflictions I want you to be her that heals but this battle is me vs me I can't wait till the battle is over for you my dear the Medal of Honor Over the phone as we conversate I can't help to speculate how your day went did you sleep good what you ate I wanna hear the good things as well as the bad just in aww of the beauty you have there is nothing I won't celebrate for your wins are my wins and a whole lot more time isn't a factor when I'm in your presence you make my heart skip a vedt when you send a message that's the highlight of my day tomorrow it start all over again and I can't wait Face crafted by angels smile accompanied by diamonds personality is the rarest truly one of a kind feelings unwind when your in my sight and your and your smile has the ability to blind gorgeous beyond belief you make my day much better I'm so glad I can call you mine your rhe one I call when I need to grieve like a baby with candy I'm so intrigued when you call but my world stops like the end of a war when you leave now I'm left to put my mind at ease this is how much you mean to me your the highlight of my day my night my life the one I wanna see when I wake up the last thing I see when I close my eyes the piece of me that you have is that of peace a mirror that blocks pain once gazed upon when I first seen you my world stopped in slow motion but continue to thrive in comparison to the waves of the Atlantic Ocean the significance of your sliving is what I've been missing your smile is like fireworks lighting up the dark sky a string of pearls was placed at birth your voice is an enjoyment talking to you is a time well spent no one's perfect but your all I have ever wanted so I see pure perfection when I'm blessed with your reflection not hearing from you I'm sleep deprived only peace I ever got is from looking in your eyes mediation freeing me from myself for ever in my heart you stay in my light from the first time I saw you I'd knew we take flight I told my heart it wasn't the same as before next was my brain but that like a frieght train all my distrust from past failures makes since as I hold you closer take my hand and we sail through with no worries Head lifted from the pile of rocks meant for leathel intentions sword sharpened by the power of your mind and the wisdom inside no one knows the fight you truly handle but that's what makes you shine ruby's and diamonds have no place in description for how royal you are one of my favorite super heros of all time happy birthday thanks for Wipping my tears when I cried I'll love you to the end of time You are my eyes for the things I can't see giving me the confidence to keep pushing everyday I wake-up your by my side and that's all I need on this road called life your the main reason my poems are deeper cause its protruding from a place I no longer want to enter when I think of you the bad thoughts wither your my glimmer of hope when I'm in a slope I Couldn't imagine a day with out you May the Sun find you on the coldest of days when you were born there was a great achievement made sculpted in ways that elevate me I can't say there's anything else that makes me dissappear from reality my way out when I'm trapped my thoughts when I'm thinking these are the trophies your presence bring me 100x gravity so your smile pulls me close without you I would be lost forever protect you at any cost You said friends don't look at friends like that but soul mates do starred with a hi here and there now your in my pit crew in this race called life to remove you from it I wouldn't dare you hold me up my main 4 tires I believe you were sent for me cause your all my heart crys for rendering my negative thoughts defeated Life changed the moment you blinked in my direction a wave of affection made its destination your smile blinds those of the selfish and gives hope to the hopeless a hug from you renders me weak for your body softer then Egyptian sheets the face of a queen ruling with every step here's to the women that takes my very breathe Do you remember when I said hi your eyes flustered beautifully making me stop in my tracks molded from darkness your voice brings light leaving a trace of gold dust your words and soul I'll trust the smallest sound of your foot steps takes over my heart and it drops beats per minutes your everything I assumed you'd be do you remember Water falls flourish in the proclaiming of your name waves of emotions hit the shore of my heart by a simple touch the sound of your footsteps as your walk patiently towards me very finely sits at the top of a time stopping harp in that moment the movement of your hips defy the laws of physics leading me to believe this is what life offers such a humble soul as of mines forever in love with you I dream about touching your body in ways that makes your mind wondering the solar system for days never coming back sane cause the pleasure centers of your brain have matured in the little time we've been select and one spirit your delicate touch brings me warmth that hell's fire could never while the moon dances with its own reflection that being defined as stars you are soulfully amazing You understand the little I say and comprehend what I don't the sparkle in my eyes the beat of my heart my right when I'm wrong the other half of an incredible song The breeze that make tress glorify the existence of life a lamp in a room filled with light your still the most brightest of them all your royalty is spontaneous With hands of a carpenter you changed my life eyes of angel you gave me sight the speed of a messenger quickly coming to my rescue undoubtedly my hero after the rain comes a rainbow of prosperity every color having a meaning that can only be understood by a wholesome soul I talk the stars at night wishing our paths cross your love rejuvenate my spirit Gaizers come to a halt for every inch of your soft wet thighs take control of my movement completely marinade in your liking I grip tighter until our heart beat sync causing the waterfall over flow then will your senses be taken by a single moment of mind blowing sensation the taste of love is heart stopping