Redemption Crash Series Book Three

Mason Everything became so dark. I don’t know when it happened exactly but looking around, thinking about the past few months, all I see is darkness with very brief glimpses of beauty. I haven’t known her for a full year yet already, I can sense a before and after. I’d like to say it started after she killed Brian, but even before that, she was slipping away. Her right choice to save her own life by taking his made things worse. Sure. Then came Edward. Good old daddy f*****g dearest. Who the f**k am I kidding? Besides his physical DNA, I haven’t received a damn thing from that man. He doesn’t know what the word father means, let alone the action and respect required to be one. The first time I saw Sean playing with Jude my heart hurt, torn in half by my own petty jealousy and admiration and respect for a man simply showing up to the role he got himself into. So similar to now. Jealous of a brief past where, for just weeks, I got to be silly and almost carefree with my breathtakingly sweet wife to be. We laughed, joked, played, and danced. We lived even while being stalked by a serial killer, it all wasn’t as bad as the Aftermath of our run-ins with the Mafia. Fuck. The glass is out of my hands, flying across the room, smashing into the wall before I even process letting it go, let alone chucking it across the room. I feel like falling apart. I am falling apart. Everything is a mess. Everything is wrong. I was always meant to take down my father. That was my burden, my destiny. The moment he shook hands with Stasevich, my future was engraved into the stars. But Aria… She deserved a better future. She deserved a f*****g chance. Funny how the same person that can give you everything can be the one to take even more away from you. God how I f*****g took and took and took from that woman. She stood so strong through so much. More than anyone should be expected to bear. Especially her, her whole life was nothing but suffering. Giving her Shirley’s watching her find herself, her voice, her strength. Her f*****g steel backbone is full of pure bravery. All of them were the best moments of my life. I was beyond privileged to be beside her. I admire her for everything she’s managed, how far she’s come despite where she came from, and the obstacles she had to face to get here. But I know I was wrong. If I never asked her to marry me, if I never gave her that fake f*****g contract all so I could be closer to the woman that took over every nook and cranny of my mind and soul. From the moment her eyes met mine I knew, I knew I was a goner. When she spoke up finally after her cute spell of hesitancy, the awe and embarrassment were in a clear battle within her insightful eyes. It was then my heart knew the brutal truth even if my mind didn’t. She was my everything, my future, my other half, the best part of me all in a beautifully chaotic woman. I never wanted anything as badly as I wanted her. Selfishly, I took her and it cost her… us… everything. I’ve stayed in control of every detail of my life, so how did I let it spiral this far out of control? That’s the problem, isn’t it? I don’t know where I went wrong. Aria…she’s right, she’s always been right. But how do I continue to risk her life? I’ve done everything I can to protect her besides the one thing I don’t want to do. The one thing that will break both of our hearts. Separation, witness protection. Safety for the woman I owe my life to, the one thing in this world I can’t give her, no matter how hard I try. As long as she’s with me she’s a target, right now Stasevich and Edward want revenge. More so, they want to shut us up before the trial comes. Were the key witnesses, with enough paper evidence to support our stories, but without us… their defense team is the best in the world. They’ll stop at nothing to turn each piece of evidence into hearsay and someone lower on the totem poles problem despite the trails leading straight to the top without corroboration. We’re looking at potential innocent verdicts from the jury. I can’t allow that to happen. And I certainly can’t allow Aria’s life to be taken. I told her once that despite what the future holds for us, and the danger we face, it’s up to us to live beyond the life span of the other. That we should live for that person. Even then, I knew my words were hollow, false… She crashed into my world out of nowhere and I fell in love with her faster than I ever thought possible when I wasn’t looking for love or romance. Confusing as it is, strange as it was, she went from a mere stranger to the best friend I’ve ever had. Her tender embrace after a hard day, which most are, keeps me walking in the morning stronger than the day before. Her soft laughter and wondrous smile make me crave her in a way I’ve never felt before. They warm me even on the coldest days, stopping me in my tracks while I look on in astonishment and awe. Her beauty is breathtaking, her caramel waves that always seem to be out of place, or twisted in a messy bun on the crown of her head with fallen whisps of hair curling around her eyes framing her thick rosy cheeks. I lose myself in her sparkling eyes, so bright, so open, I can read every emotion before she’s spoken out of that gorgeously wicked mouth of hers. Her beauty is breathtaking but it isn’t the best part about her. I love her prickly, soft personality. Prickly and soft are so contradictory you wouldn’t think it would work, yet it describes her perfectly. She has thorns and scars marring every inch of her being and her presence. Her life taught her caution, leading her to believe that trust and respect were non-existent. To her, everyone is a threat. Until you worm your way into her life until you peel her open and see what lies inside. She’s the softest person I’ve ever met. Kind, loving, forgiving, loyal, brave. So stupidly brave. That woman walked into a den of killers and mob members to protect me and my company. She’s learning to be a great shot and damn can she fight. I love watching her in the ring, but more I love teaching her to watch her grow stronger and stronger, soon I’ll walk into that ring not knowing who's going to come out on top. No matter the outcome, I’ll be proud. Yet I love the same woman who makes me dance with her in the kitchen, listening to her horrible voice belt out the lyrics to every song while I swing her around or stand to the side and observe before she notices I’m there. She's soft and sweet, making me pause and stop with my planning and plotting. She makes me live in the now instead of flying into the future, never stopping to enjoy myself. She stops me in my tracks and slows my every breath and heart rate. She shows me the world, forcing my eyes open most of the time. They’re peeled open for her safety. She’s a klutz, clumsy through and through. If I wasn’t always watching she would be sporting a few more marks on that beautiful skin of hers. She drives me mad with her enthusiasm, her passion, and her selfless generosity. Now I’m ready, willing, and want to give that all up. Give her up to know she’ll live. I came too close to losing her. The danger is only growing. She needs to leave. I just don’t know how to get her to go willingly. I know my woman and she’s not going to like our new reality. She’s not going to like it one bit and I don’t either. But I like it better than her death.