One Mistake: The Start of a Journey

Dream

Chapter Four

     I can sense that I am being followed. I don’t know who it is. I pick up my pace but can hear the footsteps falling quicker behind me. I see the library just up ahead, so I start to run. I don’t stop until I’m through the doors. Only this time I consciously knew that I was in a dream. I could feel myself start to wake up as usual. But I didn't want to. I wanted this to play out further. I needed to know why the library in Florence was of such importance to what happened to my parents. Breath Tori. Let yourself relax. I desperately try to lull myself back to sleep. 

    Regardless of how hard I tried, I couldn't get back to sleep. I guess my tossing and turning, trying to relax was starting to disturb Eddie. He let out a soft moan, rolled over, and put his arm around me. It felt so welcoming and warm. I nestle myself into him. This is definitely going to be one of my favorite places to be. Right here in his arms. "What has you tossing around so much, beautiful?" "It's that dream. I was trying to relax myself into sleep again in hopes that I would dream further into it." "And I'm guessing that you weren't able to." "You would be correct. Hey what time is it?"

    Just before he could answer, there was a knock at the door. I don't know why, but I suddenly felt like a little child again about to be caught doing something naughty. "s**t, that's Maggie. Hide!" " Tori, why do I need to hide? We're both consenting adults." "I know this, but I'm not sure that she will understand that." Before I could take any further actions, Eddie called out. "Come in." I glared at him, then back to the door. "Madame, I'm sorry to disturb you..." That's when she looked up. I guess that it didn't really register to her that Eddie answered her knock. After a too long awkward silence, I spoke up. "Yes Maggie, what is it that you need." "I'm so sorry to interrupt ma'am" "You didn't interrupt. We actually just woke up. By the way what time is it?" "It 5:30 in the morning ma'am." "No wonder I'm so hungry. I didn't eat a thing yesterday." "Would you like me to fix you something?" " Yes, but it can wait just a bit longer. What is it that you came to ask me?" 

    "Well ma'am, I was coming to see if you wanted to go over some of the things I have found that your parents were working on. I believe that is why you came back home?" She formed that last sentence as a question. She wouldn't be wrong, and we never covered why I came home yesterday. I was too tired to really talk.  "Yes we can discuss it over breakfast, if that's ok?" "Yes ma'am that is fine." With that she left, with a small smile on her face. I'll have to talk to her about this later. Right now I have bigger fish to fry, so to speak.

    As soon as the door was closed, I turned to Eddie. "What were you thinking? I'm sure she doesn't think I have stayed pure all this time, but I sure as hell didn't want her to see me in bed with someone either." A smirk came over his face at my frustration. "Really Tori, that's what you're worried about?" "Eddie, Maggie has been with this family before I was even born. She was my nurse, teacher, friend, and confidant. I don't want her to think poorly of me." He slid over to me and put his arms around me. "I highly doubt she's going to think poorly of you, beautiful. Did you see the smile on her face as she left? If anything, she's happy for you." I relax into his chest and let him comfort me. "I guess."

    "You guess. Listen Tori, I know she is. I can feel it. She happy to see that you are happy." Before I could say anything, Eddie kissed me. It wasn't like the night before. It was more of joy. Soft and sweet. Before it could intensify, he broke away. Before I could stop myself I asked the question that was on my mind before I fell asleep. "Eddie, before I fell asleep last night, did you say anything?" "What do you mean?" "Well as I as starting to doze, I thought I heard you say something. I was going to ask last night but sleep deprivation took over before I could." "Well what do you think you heard me say?" "I'm not sure exactly. That's why I'm asking you this. I don't want to say what I thought I heard if in fact you didn't say it. It would be too embarrassing to me if I was only hearing things. So, if you don't mind, just tell me if you said anything or not. If you didn't then we can leave it here. If you did, and want to repeat it then you can. If you did and don't want to repeat it, then I understand that as well." 

    He sat silently for a moment before he spoke. "Look Tori, you have known for a long time that I have had feelings for you. I've never tried to hide that from you at all. I just didn't want to act on them until you were ready. Even though you have tried to hide your feeling from me for a long time, I have known of them as well. But once again, I never wanted to mention this, because I wanted you to be ready. So after you finally admitted last night that you did have feelings for me, I did say something. Part of me was hoping that you didn't hear me because I wasn't sure if you were ready to hear it, but part of me wanted you to hear it as well. I love you. I loved you for a long time now. And I believe that I will love you until my last breath."

    I sat there stunned. I wanted to hear him say the words but was truly astonished at his full profession of love to me. I was also shocked at the fact that I felt the same about him. Yes I have loved before, but it was nothing like this. This was pure. This was true love. However, my response to him wasn't as eloquent as his was to my questioning. "Eddie, I love you too." Before I could say anything more, he kissed me again. It was deep. It was hot. It was full of passion. He pulled me tighter to him. As he started to kiss his way down my neck, he slid his hands down to my butt, and shifted to where I was straddling him. He made his way back to my lips, and parted them with his tongue. As things were started to really heat up, I knew I had to stop it. Even though we just professed our love to one another, I still wasn't ready for this. I broke the kiss. "Eddie," I said extremely breathless, "I'm sorry but I'm not ready." "I know. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry Tori. Please forgive me?" "You're forgiven my love. But I should be the one apologizing, not you." "Why should you be the one apologizing? You've done nothing wrong." "Neither did you." 

    "I'm going to go change. Do you want me to come back here or meet you downstairs?" "Um you can come back here if you finish before I do." "See you soon beautiful." He quickly kissed me and left. I had time to think. My body said that I was ready, however, my mind didn't. In my mind,, I was that young girl that left here so long ago. Pure, and unsure of her future. I needed to change that part of my brain. I knew what I wanted. I wanted to be with him physically. I wanted his hands on my body. I yearned for his touch, and his love. But until I could break that mental block, this is what I would get. Frustration!