How to love me

waking up from my bed I knelt down said my prayers and thought about how my day is going to be,despite having such a simple life My name is Daniel chimobi,just finished my Jss 3 waec examinations,I am the first born with 4 younger siblings to look out for and set examples for,I am dark skinned,cute,tall and a little bit of masculine build up....I am 14 years old after taking my bath, I rushed to wake my younger siblings cause time was already running late after waking them up, mum called me to come serve our breakfast on the dinning table after we had our meals we rushed of to school now there is something about me that I have always know a secret that I have carried alone my whole life that I was bi-s****l though I wasn't feminine at any point, but I felt more comfortable rolling with girls than boys... now back to my story. At school I had a crush on some guy,he was my senior,James was his name,senior James he was more masculine than me,light skinned, very handsome,also very friendly. we had made eye contact with eachother several times and to each one he would smile at me,making my heart skip then on this faithful Tuesday morning after our morning assembly senior James approached me with the same humble and breath taking smile he always had on...he asked my my name,class, age which I answered smiling from ear to ear.... he then asked me to be his school son the question hit me like a bomb but I composed myself and answered "yes" it felt like he asked me to be his date! OMG! I was so far gone in happiness that beautiful tuesday,he then later left stating the possibility that we would talk more the next day.... Wednesday came and went we had no conversation. then Thursday came..It was during break I was walking in the hallway since I was done eating my meal and then a junior came to tell me that senior James calls for me I felt my heart race but I had to go see him at once I got to his class door and tapped my hand gently on the door to announce my presence he was the only one present in class seems like all this classmate stepped out for the break.... his head was rested on the desk,after my knock he gently lifted his head after seeing me, he smiled and beaconed on me to enter which I did then he asked me to sit with him the desk we used in our school was only made to have one student in it so I was still trying to process and figure at where I would sit when he said I should sit on his laps I was hesitant at first but I did it...I sat on his laps and then he started asking me questions, he dropped the first question "why do you always stare at me" I nearly choked on my own saliva after hearing the question but I answered "nothing" he smiled and said I should follow him while he was holding my hands, he led me to the seniors male bathroom on getting there, everywhere was quite and it was just us he then led me further in one off the bathrooms. Then...............to be continued