Always

Chapter Nineteen: The Dead Still Listen

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   Leaves crunch underneath my shoes, the noise calming my anger. 

   I pass the headstones, the path to my dad’s grave, a long memory coming back to me, by each headstone. 

   Once I’m finally at my dad’s grave, all my anger has disappeared. Sadness now takes over.

   “Hey Dad.” I whisper. I crouch down, so close to his headstone. I read what was carved into it: 

John Lee Madison

-

Beloved Father, Beloved Friend. May you always rest in peace

   “Are you in peace Dad?” I play with the dirt and grass around his headstone. 

   “So. I got angry at Mom today.” I let each word sink in before I carry on. “We had a fight...About you...And Brian.” 

   When I mentioned Brian, my heart sank. Why didn’t I bring him with me? I sigh over my cluelessness. 

   “What am I supposed to do Dad?...I’m so lost in this world without you...You’d know what to do.” I saw my tears hit the ground, reminding me of rain. “I miss you so much Dad.” 

   I hug myself, sobs beginning to come out of my control. “Why did you have to leave me all alone Dad?! Just why?!” 

   I cried for what seemed like forever. 

   I finally stop crying and wipe my eyes. I got up, rubbing the dirt off of me, sniffling. I take in a breath...I let it out. 

   “I love you Dad. Always know that.” I kiss my fingers, then place it upon his headstone, feeling my heart slowly connect again.

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