Always

Chapter Twenty: Misters & Pictures

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   I stared blankly at what’s ahead of me. Only five inches away from me. Those five inches tearing my heart into painful halves. 

   “It’s going to be okay June.” My mom’s words were all a lie. A total big, fat lie. How could she lie like that, knowing it’s never going to be true. 

   My mom left my side, leaving me to the most painful sight in my whole entire life. I felt someone lay their hand on my shoulder. The weight making me feel more weak than I already felt. 

   “I’m so sorry June. I knew how much he meant to you.” Every word brought more tears down my face. 

   “I just wished that I could’ve seen him one last time before he had to go.” The truth of my words hung around me. 

   “I know June. I know.” I shoved my face into Brian’s shoulder, squeezing his waist as hard as I could. 

   “I miss him already.” I sob into his shirt. Brian runs his fingers through my messy hair that had gotten tangled up when I broke down during the funeral. 

   “I miss him too.” And I knew he did. Brian was close to Dad almost as much as I was. 

   “I want him here…” I push my hair out of my face, looking up at Brian. “I don’t want to say goodbye.” 

   “You don’t have to June. You never have to, unless you want to.” Everybody else at the funeral said goodbye like it was nothing. Like my dad was never important. When in reality: He was. 

   He may not have been something great like everybody thought he’d be, but he was strong. Even through the cancer he stayed strong until he couldn’t hold on any longer. 

   “I’m not saying goodbye.” I say loud and firm, making some heads turn to give me a hard stare. But I didn’t care. Let them stare. At least I spoke the truth. And at least I’d want him to live on. 

   I say it once again, but only where Brian and I could hear, “I’m not saying goodbye.” 

   “Neither am I June.” I gave him a small smile, feeling a little bit better since the funeral started.

   I kiss the top of my fingers, taking a deep breath in, I place my fingertips on my dad’s headstone, letting the breath go out slowly. “I love you Dad. I’ll never forget you. I promise you that.” 

   I take Brian’s hand in mind, and we walk away from his grave to join the others. I kept my promise. I always did. 

   I just wished I could’ve kept Brian’s promise, which I failed to keep.

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