Beautiful Dreamer

Chapter 13

My eyes closed shut as Zachariah placed his hands on each side of my head. He was going to finally show me the memory I so longed to see. A connection to myself. It was not a lot but it was all I was going to have until my own memories were retrieved. I was a bit unsure of the experience, but every bit confident that I needed this. I had been lost in this world, still unsure of its reality. I needed something more concrete to keep from spinning out of control. My mind grew a little hazy as I could feel myself being transported. I was seeing things from Zachariah’s perspective now. 

Anxiety was setting in as I looked down a hallway with someone talking beside me. The castle walls surrounded me and it made me feel trapped. Up ahead I could see a woman in a pink dress and sandy brown hair, nose in a book. She was walking straight towards us. The woman bumped into us dropping the book. I saw myself face to face. This was it, the moment we met. Zachariah exchanged pleasantries with me and I eventually walked away. Zachariah turned to the man beside him, King Cardwell.  The king had jet black hair and dark brown almond eyes, that were menacing if you looked too deep into them.

“So, about that job,” the king said. “I will need you to wipe her memory out completely. I do not want her to have a single original memory. You will wipe them all and replace them with this.”

Cardwell handed him a piece of parchment with detailed instructions of what to do with my memories and how he wanted them replaced. Chills ran up and down my spine as we slowly returned to reality. I felt like I could not breathe. My body started to shake, I grabbed my knees and started to rock back and forth, trying to calm myself down. It did not seem possible for someone to emanate that much evil from their eyes alone.

“Analise, are you ok? Maybe I should not have shown you that.”

“No, I needed to see. I needed to know what I was up against.”

Zachariah sat there silently, waiting patiently for me to calm down.

“I remember him from my dreams.”

“Part of his instructions.”

“He was my first love.”

“He was supposed to be your only love.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well he wanted all your memories to be replaced by a happy life with him, but no matter how much I tried I could not do it.”

“Why not?”

“You would not let me.”

I did not understand what he meant. I looked at him rather confused. Zachariah then went into detail about how he tried to carry out the king’s instructions to make me fall for him. No matter what Zachariah tried my mind refused to bend to his will. Almost like it knew that it was fake and tried protect itself. He tried to band aid the problem by introducing himself into my dreams as well. He experienced what it was like to be with me as my boyfriend and then eventually as my best friend. My mind had also fought him on that trying to be free of his influence. He began losing control of the direction of my dreams and when I finally started to dream of having a family, he knew there was nothing he could do anymore. Zachariah told me he knew the king would be furious if he found out that I was uncontrollable. He did not know what the king would do to either of us, but it would not be good. He made a plan that night to leave but knew he had to take me with him, to protect me from King Cardwell’s wrath. 

“Analise, I fell in love with you in that dream. Although it may not have been real for you, every bit of it was real for me.”

Dazed and confused, I still did not know what to make of all of this. I had asked to see the memory but I was not fully prepared for all the information that came with it. I was not sure how to feel. I still had love in my heart for Cardwell but it was not real. I did not even know that my first love was real until moments ago when I saw him there in that memory. He was so different from the dream though. The Cardwell in my dream was sweet and kind, as well as a bit shy. How could they even be the same person? I saw the malice towards me in his eyes as he gave Zachariah the job. He hated me; this was not just about getting my power. He wanted control over me because he wanted who I was destroyed. I started feeling sick, so I ran outside and started puking. Zachariah followed behind me, holding my hair back away from my face as I continued to vomit. After I was done, I wiped my face and just stared off into space thinking for a moment.

“I have to get those memories back,” I said more determined than ever.

“You saw the type of person Cardwell is! You cannot go back there! He will kill you.”

“I need to try. I cannot go on living knowing something so big is missing from my life. I also cannot let that monster keep a hold of my memories. I will not let him win.”

“There is nothing I am going to say that will change your mind, is there?” 

I shook my head no. This was something I needed to do. Zachariah would not be able to understand because he had no idea what I was going through. Your memories are part of your identity, and I had been robbed of mine. I had to get it back. I might never really know who I am without them. It was time to take a stand for myself. I was not going to be pushed around anymore and soon King Cardwell would know that.