My Protective Badboys

  Eliza ~Three Years Ago~     The one word changed my life forever, or so I thought. "Guilty," the judge's voice boomed through the courtroom. My brother, that sat 20 feet to my left stood up slowly, he looked at me and said, "You'll pay for this bitch."  I froze in fear knowing well that it was not just a comment, it was a promise. ~Present Time~     "We're leaving the country,"  my mom says in a flat tone as if it's not a life-changing decision. "I don't understand why we have to mom," I say in a whining tone. “Do you remember what we went through three years ago?” She says in her authoritative voice and all I can manage to voice is a small but definite, “yes”  There's a slight pause with our conversation,  I see her body language change to the more of the caring mother that I know and love. She begins to start towards me but all I can do is shrug back as I'm stuck in reliving the memory of my worst nightmare, next thing I know I'm taking back to that day in the courtroom when all I can remember is his face, his ice-blue eyes staring into the depths of my soul and I know deep down that he would come for me someday and I hope that day is not soon but I know in my gut that it is. “Eliza, honey we have to leave, your brother’s being released, tomorrow.”      Before I know what's happening my body begins moving and I know exactly where to, before I know it I'm suddenly in my room with the door locked and making my way towards my bathroom shutting the door quietly behind me.  I lean against the bathroom door and I shrink down to the floor is it soon becoming hard to breathe and I feel like I'm being crushed into my memories I begin to hyperventilate at the one vivid memory of the last thing that my brother said to me as it plays over and over and over in my mind . to begin to have a panic attack hyperventilating and freaking out that begins falling on the floor holding myself into a ball. my mom somehow makes her way into the bathroom and pulls me into a tight and warm embrace.” I know it's hard to hear but we have to leave honey” she says quietly and I find myself nodding although I don't want to leave I know it's for the best.      An hour later we're packed and we're ready to leave although I'm still having second thoughts about leaving my home country oh, I was born and raised in America and I don't know how I feel about going somewhere that is unfamiliar to me. “Where are we going, mom?” I said quietly, not wanting to know. “We are going to Italy I figured if we have to leave the country will go somewhere nice” for some reason I feel a little bit better about moving out of the country so I've always dreamed of going to Italy and my mother is known that for years now I even took it upon myself to learn Italian and hopes that I'd go someday and it's finally coming true. Once we arrive at the airport I'm half asleep and don't want to wake up, but then I remember the reason for this trip, the reason for my nightmares, the reason I'm not normal anymore like I used to be. I wake up frightened thinking that he's here but he's not the dream I had dozing off I can still feel his hands crawling all over me I can still feel him inside me. he's the reason I'm f****d up.     We lug our bags through the airport until we reach our assigned gate and still have another hour until our flight begins to board, but I can’t sleep, I won’t sleep until we get to Italy, I’m too afraid that he will reappear in my dreams, that not only will he be in my dreams but when I wake up he will be there for real, that he will keep his promise, that he’ll come back for me. It’s about 1 in the morning before our flight boards and as I’m about to step onto the plane I hear a familiar voice, and I freeze in place, although knowing he can’t see me but I can hear him, “Where Are You, b***h,”  he yells as I hear security dragging him out of the airport.     I find my seat and notice that I’m in the aisle, “thank god” I mutter to myself, realizing my mother knows I’m claustrophobic. I also see that she bought all three seats and not just two, at least we won have to sit with a stranger I speak to myself. We buckle into our seats after putting our things above us and I find myself clutching onto my phone for dear life, hoping it will store the good memories of the life that I am leaving behind me as I venture off to Rome in a 13-hour flight.         I feel my mother shake me slightly, as if not wanting to disturb me. I soon realize that I am asleep, but I can’t wake myself up. I begin to panic inside my mind as I feel the dark memories resurface and once again I can feel his hands on me, I can hear his voice as if he is right behind me. I begin to thrash, kick, and scream, not wanting him to come close to me ever again. I wake up screaming and kicking, and I startle my mom as she is driving down the road. I don’t realize right away that we are in a car until another car’s headlights’ shine brightly in my eyes. “Where are we?” I find myself asking out loud. “We are in Venice, just outside of Rome, we will be there in about 2 hours,” She says calmly. I manage to nod my head and turn to look out the window and I see a beautiful city, lit up with bright fluorescent lights, with yellow, and pink, and orange. It’s beautiful at night and I’m anxious to see what Rome will look like. For once, during this whole situation, I actually have a good feeling about this, for once I’m actually excited about moving.