Withered Possession Can what is withered still burn?, is it still appealing to others? I always thought my father might kill me

Mom's dead I stood frozen in place, not sure if it was because I was too shocked to move or too scared that I’d be next, she was alive some minutes ago, telling me about the plans she made, but none of that matter now, nothing mattered anymore, because she was gone. My eyes trailed her blood slowly crawling across the floor, pushing forward until it touched my bare foot, her blood felt cold against my skin, I should probably move out of it's way, but I didn't move, not like I could My mother lay dead before me, but I didn't cry, my face stayed blank just like always, like I didn't just watch the life slip away from her eyes, it was heart wrenching, but I couldn't show pain, he'll know, my mask can't slip if I want to survive Her hair was scattered all over the place, stretching across the floor, still tangled from when he dragged her. She’s gone. I’ll never hear her soft voice humming again, she's dead, with a bullet buried between her eyebrows, eyes open and fear evident in them, she's dead, I'll never see her smile again That's what she gets for going against father, she didn't belong in fathers world, too soft and too navie for it, she should have run far away from him, but she didn't, and now she's.... mom is... "Seraphina" Father called. I dragged my gaze away from my mother's lifeless body and looked at him. He was standing on the other side of the room, like nothing just happened "come here" he ordered. I walked towards him, I didn't want to step on her blood, but it was everywhere and there was no clear path, I couldn't avoid it, my footprint made with mother blood trailed behind me till I got to father. He took a long drag from his cigar and looked at me intensely, like he wanted to see what's inside of me and peel every layer of till I'm left bare, but I made sure he wouldn't, he won't see me lose control, I won't give him such satisfaction He crouched down, and put a hand on my shoulder, It was too tight. He was crushing it. I wanted to rip his hands off. I wanted him far away. His closeness made my skin crawl. My stomach turned. "look at your mom" he said I did My body responded to his commands before I even have to process it, I stared at her, she was dead, I'll never taste her cookies again, never feel her arms around me, it was the warmest thing I had in this cold world "Never forget this sight," he said I won't, I couldn't, he didn't need to tell me, it's buried deep, craved into my soul, I couldn't forget this even if I tried "That's what happens when you disobey me, don't make this same mistake she did" He didn't care, he never did care that he allowed a fourteen year old witness the cruelty of her mother's death, he didn't care that I witnessed him murder her, that he made me watch, he didn't care when he asked me to never forget this, when he took her away from He didn't care that he took her from me. She never wished to be part of the Mafia, never wished for this life, so why did he marry her only to destroy her, she didn't do any harm to him, but he....but he....he didn't care that I'll never hear her lullaby again Mom I loved Dad I hate.....he broke me in half My mask might slip but I can't let it. It has to become one with me, that's the only way I'll survive. I won't die, I don't want to die, but maybe that would've been better, easier maybe i should, it would be better than getting married. Mafia men are the worst. I HATE MAFIA MARRIAGE "Clean this up" he told his men I stared at Uncle Xavier who was standing at the door, I wonder how he's feeling, his expression is blank just like mine, but I know he loved mom, more than father did, I wonder if he'll bury her body or just dump her somewhere, I hope he buries her