A Love Untold in Autumn

CHAPTER 1. It’s December again, and I will see him again. I will feel his touch and hugs around my body. He promised. He promised to come back. I know he won’t disappoint me. I hurriedly get my coat and run towards my window. And Oh! Ouch! I hit on the window. “Is everything fine? Is the window alright?” my mom shouted I roll up my eyes. Now tell me, who is her real daughter? “Oh yeah, the window got hurt” I said sarcastically. “I must apologized. I’m sorry window if I hurt you. My mom loves you very much” I mean how could she asked that? She should be asking if I am just okay after I hit to that hard window. How people could be so very kind to the things rather than people. Well, maybe things cost much than people. Well, enough of that I have to get hurry! It is still autumn. Our favorite season. I look my reflection on the mirror. I look fine. I look happy. The curve of my lips will tell you how happy I am today. I look at the clock and it is already 8:00 am in the morning. I am so excited. “I’m going!” I merrily shouted. “You take care darling” My mom said in a sweet voice On the streets I saw familiar faces. America is a great country with great people. Every person I met along my way, I greeted them a happy day. When I reached in my destination. I counted every bus that passes by. I am here in the bus stop station, waiting for the promise. “One” I said while pointing the bus. “Two” my heart beats faster. “One more bus, and I will see you again love” I utter and smile on air. The third bus is coming. I am holding my tears I don’t know but every time this happens, my tears just suddenly fall out without me noticing it. The bus stopped near me. He is here. He made it. I was directly looking to the man who came out from the bus, wearing a black leather hoodie holding an attaché case. I counted every people who stepped out from that bus. I am expecting for the last passenger, but I did not see his face. Where is he? “Maybe he took the fourth bus” I said to myself. The fourth bus passed. “Maybe he woke up late and took the fifth bus…. Or the sixth one” But the fifth and sixth bus had passed, and I didn’t see him. What happened to him? I stayed there and wait until the last flight of the bus. I skipped lunch. “Hey pretty, you waiting for someone? Only one bus left. I guess you waited here for the whole day. Maybe that person is not coming here” the man next to me said. “He will come” I said coldly He just shrug his shoulders and left me. “The last bus. Please, please show up” I am about to cry again. But the last bus did not stop. Why? With full of disappointment and sadness, I walk heading home. As I pass the school, I saw the people eating in that cafeteria near the primary school. I couldn’t help myself but to feel sad. Supposedly, we are eating in that cafeteria, looking to those cute kids, and planning how many kids we like to have in the future. I went home and skipped dinner. Everyday, I went to that bus stop station hoping for his presence. I left early and went home late, waiting for his arrival. BUT I DIDN’T SEE ANY OF HIS FIGURE. Days and weeks had passed. The autumn is almost over, but he didn’t show up. One day, my father’s doctor visited him. I just gave him a plain smile. I know I showed a different smile this time. Different from the smile I used to show every autumn. I watch every leaf that falls from the trees. Just like how my tears falls quickly. CHAPTER 2 “A mail for Ms. Johnson!” shouted the delivery man outside our door. I heard the mail box’s sound. When the delivery man left, I went outside and get the mail. I went back to my room and open the envelope. When I saw his name on the letter, I felt nothing but pain. “What is this letter for? You are not into sending me letters.” I stared at the letter. Could it be his explanation? But he promised. My tears fell. I throw the letter on my table. “No! I am not going to open that letter! I am not going to open that letter unless you show up!” That night, I cried so hard. Autumn is over. It’s Winter already, the coldest season which everyone chooses to stay at home. I remember our favorite season for our wedding day is winter. I smiled bitterly. I tried calling him in payphone but no answers. I didn’t bother to open the letter. “Daughter, are you ready? We should not be late because it’s wedding day. A special occasion that oftentimes happens during this season. You hurry!” my mom shouted. I sighed and caress my royal blue gown. Royal blue is the theme of the wedding, what a coincidence. “I’m coming mom. Wait up” As I step out from the car, I saw the church full of flowers and people are wearing a royal blue gown and suits. We went inside the church. Everything is prepared. The setting is very beautiful. When it is about to start, everyone stands, waiting for the church door to open and welcome the bride. After a few minutes, the closed door of the church opened. The cello started to play. I saw the bride. “B-beautiful..” I can’t help myself but utter. After staring at her for a long while, I had figured out that she is the famous actress in the state! Wow! My mother didn’t tell me about this. She is my favorite actress among all. I even created a fan page of her. Wait, to whom is she getting married? I didn’t know she is dating someone. It couldn’t be that I didn’t know. I just set aside my thoughts and look at her with a smile on my face. I am happy for her. My smile is eventually fading as I heard a familiar voice singing with my most favorite song. I quickly look at the altar. I am too far from the altar so I could not look clearly who is singing. I sneak in and move close to the altar. I even heard my mother calling my name. CHAPTER 3 I felt my body get numb and feels cold as I figured out the singing groom. “W-what?” I whisper “I know why you are crying. Their love story is such a beautiful one. He waited for her almost 8 years, and now they end up together. I guess you are a fan right? I know you witnessed their secret love story. Of how much sacrifices he made for her. He loves her so much. Of course, she is marrying the famous actress in state! Stop crying, you will met a man like him soon” the lady beside me just tap my shoulder and offer a handy while smiling to me. He is mine. How come he is marrying another woman? I caress the ring on my finger. “Oh, looks like you will be the next woman who will wear a wedding gown!” happily exclaimed by the lady. “Who is the lucky guy?” she added Helplessly, I look at him singing, looking at her with full of love. That song supposedly our marriage song. I realized, this is our plan for our wedding. I thought he would be achieving it with me, but he is achieving it with another bride. Autumn Royal blue color Garden theme A song entitled “Autograph” by John Denver Those are our plans. I could still remember how he looks at me while singing that song, because he told me that the message of that song expresses his love for me. Now, what happened? What happened to your autograph that you’ve been telling to me? I wipe my tears as I saw him smiling to his bride. I could see happiness in his eyes. Why would I take it away from him? 8 years? They must have the greatest love story ever. How about me? How about us? What was it all? Why did I reached in this stage? I sneak out from the church. I ran as fast as I could and I can feel the snow on my skin. It is very cold but I didn’t care about it. I have a lot of questions. I don’t understand. There is nothing I felt today, but pain. I cried in grief. My fiancé is marrying another woman. How it could be? My mind is filled with thoughts. And as I left that lake, I know what is the best thing to do. I went home and change clothes. I search for the news of their wedding. The wedding just ended. They look so happy together and it crushed me. Seeing them wearing that smile, holding each other. It is eventually breaking me. They are happy, and I am letting them to be happy. He is so important to me and I love him so much. I promised to him that I will do everything for him, and that everything includes letting go. If it makes him happy, I will give it to him even if takes away my happiness. Now, how would I fix myself? Where should I get strength to continue living? Suddenly, I feel something on my stomach. I quickly run to the bathroom and I found myself vomiting. I’ve been like this lately. My parents were so worried of me. Even them, they didn’t know that he is getting married. Maybe she invited my family to see their marriage. She wants me to know that he belongs to her, and not to me. My parents comforted me and tell me, I can surpass this. This is just a part of one of the stages of my life. After months, I had received a good news. I couldn’t help but smile. Now I know where to gain strength. “Looks like an old letter in your drawer you forgot to open. Will you let me open it?” my mother ask me while smiling. “Go on mom, after all it doesn’t even matter” My mother opened the letter and after a moment, she handed me the letter. “Sweetie, you must read this.” My mother said and then left the room. I read the letter, and I just found out it got wet by my tears. Dear Love, I am sorry I couldn’t make it this time. I could not come to you. I could not fulfill my promise. My promises. I am so sorry love. I know this will break you. Please remain strong for me. I am getting married. All of a sudden. Don’t get me wrong I don’t love her. I just woke up one day that I am sleeping beside her. I did not know what happened. I impregnated her. She is carrying my child, and her parents want me to marry her. I don’t have a choice. Please be happy this autumn. Catch those falling leaves for me, count them and go to the lake and talk to the swan. And when winter comes, please stay at home. Remember that I will always love you, and no woman can replace you here in my heart. One more favor, please do not attend my wedding day, it would be held there. I am really sorry. Your beloved. “I am carrying your child too, love” I said in a low and sad tone. CHAPTER 4 MONTHS had passed. “Congratulations! You made it!” the doctor exclaimed. My heart gets warm as I am looking to my twins. They are so lovely. They almost look like their father. “What are their names?” my mother asked. I touch the nose of my baby boy. “He is Haru, which means spring. A brand new day. A brand new start where the flower blooms and trees begins to grow its leaves” I smiled as I am saying those lines. I touch the nose of my baby girl “She is Eunice, her name means a good victory. She symbolizes that I defeated and won against pain and distress” I am so happy seeing my two little angels. “Will you let him know about the twins?” my mother asked out of nowhere. I just smiled. “Let the fate decides” I whisper. CHAPTER 5. The world for Athena Johnson is just so wonderful. With her children, Haru and Eunice, she feels like she have everything she needs and she has the kind of fulfillment that others don’t have. She may not have the father of her children with them, but she knows that she doesn’t need him. She can raise Haru and Eunice with herself. In a brand new day, Eunice and Haru are playing dominos in the living room. Athena is just watching the two having fun in a corner. She is carrying the snacks that she have prepared for them. Athena’s vitamins are watching her children every time. They make her happy and they make her live a wonderful life. Athena sigh as she remembers her terrible past. “It hurts no more. The best thing I have ever done in my life is that running away from that wedding” she whispers in herself. “Mommy! We are hungry, can we eat?” Eunice shouted in hunger. Athena just laugh and starting walking towards them. She put the snacks on the table. “Honey, you can eat now. Did mommy made you wait for a long time?” she asks “Just on time mom” Haru answered. Eunice is a funny little girl. She always keeps on joking around, laugh out loud and shout. She is a wonderful girl and in his age she knows how to take care of herself. Athena always found her out putting make up on herself. And it’s very cute. On the contrary, Haru is a silent litte boy. He is so cool and he speaks less. He is a genius and he is very caring to her mother. Haru knows that their father is not a good man even if Athena didn’t tell her. Haru is an intelligent little pumpkin, and he always get the top place in his school. Athena is just so proud of the two. Aside from having beautiful faces, they have good personalities and pure hearts. “Mommy can you tell us about our daddy?” Eunice pleaded with her puppy eyes. This is Athena’s weakness, every time her children ask about their father, the only thing she could say is that he is a good person. She is about to answer when Haru speaks. “Past is ought not to be discuss Eunice” Haru said coldly. “Your father is a good person, you know that both right?” Athena asks them. “Yeah, yeah” Eunice answered “But he is not a good man and not a good father either” Athena look at Haru. “Honey, do not say that, your father is a wonderful man, he is the best thing that ever happened to me” Athena explained, “But he is also the worst thing that ever happened to you” Haru said with his cold emotion. “To us” he added. “He is a good person and like you he has a pure heart. He is funny like Eunice and he is as calm as you. You look like your father Haru. You should not hate your father, he loves you” “But he is not here!” this time, Haru shouted. He felt pain every time he thinks about his father. If he is a good person, where is he? He should be a father to them. “It doesn’t mean he is not here you’ve got to hate him” Athena’s face is serious. She doesn’t want that her children would hate their father. Yes, their father hurt him so much but it is not an enough reason for Athena to describe him as a bad person. “If he loves us where is he mom? Where is he? He was never here even once to take a glimpse in us” Haru said facing her mom seriously Athena look at the two children. Eunice is just listening. Haru is looking at her mother. Athena hold their hands. “Listen baby, I know you need a father. I know you need him to protect you and to play with you. But honey, I cannot give it to you. He can’t be with us. He just can’t. But I can be your mother and father at the same time. Eunice, I can carry you up above like what Mr. Lewis do to his daughter. I can ride a bike with you and be with you in the swimming pool overnight like what Mr. John do to his daughters.” She said in a low tone. Then she look at Haru. “Haru, you know I am a strong woman. I read what you have written in your notebook. You I can be your father too. I can play PSP with you. I can help you fix your bike. I can help you solve the math problems, I can take you to the sea riding a bike, I can play games with you all day just like Mr. Ernest do to his son, Bailey right?” “Look, I can be your mother and father at the same time. If only I can switch to a woman and man every time, I will do it just to make you feel that you have everyone you need. I’m so sorry honey” Athena cried. Haru and Eunice look at each other and they hug their mother. Athena cried on their shoulders. “I am so sorry mom” Haru said in a low tone. “No baby, don’t be sorry. I understand you, I really do” Athena assured her son. CHAPTER 6. On the other world, Jiro, the father of Eunice and Haru is still married with Sarah. He doesn’t know about Eunice and Haru. Now, he is living his life with his wife. No children at all. Yes, Jiro married Sarah because he impregnated her but no baby came out from her womb. Sarah told him that she had a miscarriage and the baby died. Jiro lost the chance of having children. He doesn’t know that he has beautiful twins. “Babe, can you give me a ride to the mall?” Sarah said. “Yeah sure” On the car, Sarah is bothered about the behavior of her husband. Actually Jiro is always like that but it bothers her. “What is wrong Jiro?” Sarah asks “What do you mean wrong Sarah?” Jiro asks seriously. “You just returned the question!” Sarah shouted “Because I did not understand your question” “For Pete’s sake! It is very comprehensible!” She’s always like this, shouting and yelling. “Nothing is wrong” Jiro answered and look at the road. “Tell me honestly, do you still love that woman?!” Sarah asked in anger. “You know the answer Sarah” “Tell me! I don’t know!” “It’s obvious. I still love her very much” Jiro said and look at Sarah. “Stop the car now!” Jiro stopped the car. “What is it again?” Jiro asked irritated. “I am the one who is with you Jiro, how can you not love me? I did everything” Sarah’s eyes is full of pain. It seems like she cannot get the fish she always want to get. “I’m sorry Sarah, I just can’t” “I am beautiful too Jiro, I am an artists, I am famous, I am rich, I have everything Jiro” Sarah started to cry. “I can’t love you back Sarah. My heart belongs to her” “What the hell Jiro! It’s been 8 years!” “Yes Sarah! It’s been 8 years that I am suffering! It’s been 8 years and I am still hurting because I cant be with someone I love! You imprisoned me in this little world of yours! I am not happy Sarah! Not even once! If you are hurt, I am also hurt! I desperately want her! I really do!” Jiro shouted in pain. And we can see the tears in his eyes. “You want me to let you go?” “I’ve been praying for that” Jiro answered “Are you sure she is still want to be with you if I let you go?” “At least, I am out of the chain anymore Sarah” “I’m sorry Jiro, I cannot let you go. I just can’t. I love you so much.” “I already accepted it Sarah, but accept it also that I cannot love you even a second”’ then Jiro started the engine of the car. CHAPTER 7. Athena is preparing everything for their picnic in the park. “I am very excited mommy!” Eunice shouted in ecstasy “Come on help me pack Eunice” Haru said “Alright” Athena loves her children so much. She could not ask for more. She is contented. She doesn’t want anything anymore. After packing, they drive away from home. They are planning to have a family bonding. When they arrive at the park, they prepared the food. They have fun. They played, run and eat. It is a very wonderful day for the three. The smiles on their faces are very priceless. Athena is watching the two children playing in the ground together with the other children. She is just sitting on the bench, happily watching her two wealth. She doesn’t know that Jiro is walking towards the bench she is sitting on. And Jiro, doesn’t know that fate will lead him to the woman he always wanted to see. As Jiro sit on the bench, they did not noticed of each other. Until, Haru and Eunice come running to their mother. “Mom! We really have fun! Can we play more? Pretty please mommy!” Eunice happily pleaded her mom. “Of course you can still play. But let me put a towel on your backs because I know you are sweating. Come here Eunice!” Athena put the towel in Eunice’s back and then he put towel in Haru’s back too. “Thank you mommy! I love you!” Eunice said and kiss her mom. Athena did not know that Jiro is looking at her, surprisingly. There are a lot of questions that plays in Jiro’s mind. “Is she married?” “Is she happy now?” “Is this for real?” Jiro stopped thinking when Haru caught his attention. “Hey Mr., where is your children? They can play with us. Let them have fun” Haru said. Jiro stared at Haru. He noticed that they have similarities. “Mr.? are you listening?” Haru asked again. Athena stunned. She cannot believe this is happening. She could not say a word. She look at Jiro, and Jiro look at her directly in the eyes. “I don’t have one” Jiro answered Haru while looking at Athena. “Alright. Let’s go Eunice” Haru said and then run towards the playground. The two children disappeared. It is just Athena and Jiro, looking at each other’s eyes. And their eyes are full of excitement, pain, and happiness. “Are they mine?” Jiro asked directly. Athena look away and wipe the tear that drops on her check. “What makes you say that?” Athena asked back “You are not married, are you?” Jiro asked. “I am contended now Jiro, I couldn’t ask for more” “What are their names Athena?” “Haru and Eunice, they are 8 years old now. I was pregnant when you married her.” “I-I’m sorry” Jiro’s voice broke “Don’t be sorry Jiro, you gave me the best thing and best feeling of all, and I thank you for that” “You raise them alone?” “I did. But not even once did I ever feel that I am alone. I am very happy Jiro, very happy” Athena look at him. “Athena” Jiro whispered and come closer to Athena, he face her. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Jiro’s eyes are very sad. “I don’t want to bother you. Besides you are happily married” “I am not happy, not even once” Jiro’s tears started to drop. “Will you accept me Athena? Please let’s start over again” Jiro is begging. “I don’t want to hurt people Jiro. You are married, go and take care of your wife. You belong to her” “But I want you…… I need you” Jiro sobs Athena is crying too. She knows she still love him, very much. But the world is against them. “She needs you Jiro. You are committed to her” “Just tell me you will fight for me that you still love me, we will make it, we can be together again Athena, please” Jiro continues to beg “The battle just ended Jiro, no more space for fighting” “But please, we have children Athena. I want to be a father to them. I have a lot of shortcomings to them, please help me fulfill it” “Sarah will not let you go” “I don’t love her” “She is your wife” “But my life is you, my children” “Jiro, let us not go against the world. Let us just accept for where we are now and what we have” Jiro hold Athena’s face. “Please, let us run away love. Let us run away from this world” Athena smiled sadly, “This is the world Jiro. If I run away with you, I will never get the peace that I want for my children. The world is good for them. we are all happy. Now Jiro, I want you to be happy too” Athena remove Jiro’s hand from her face. Athena stood up. “You can be a father to Haru and Eunice, but I refuse to be your mistress” “I will marry you soon. We just have to fight for this” “You should have fight for me from the start. You should not let this happen. I am not blaming you Jiro, and please don’t blame me if we can’t be a family together with our children. I repeat, I refuse to be your mistress, I don’t want to be a mistress, being a mistress is out of my mind. I don’t need a man, I am fearless and my strengths are the twins. I am fully committed to them” Athena left her and give a calling card in case Jiro is ready to introduce himself to his children. “I should have thought wisely before” Jiro whispered in air.