Listen To Your Heart

Chapter 3

Nevettia’s Summer Tournament was thrown annually in celebration of the harvest the north had each year. The length and prizes of the tournament were based on how good the year had been and how much provision would last until the next winter. That year the tournament would last five days since it had been one of the biggest harvests in a long time. It seemed little compared to the great tournaments given by the Royal family on the South, where the event could last more than a fortnight, but to the northerners, wasting money and provision on grand events wasn’t quite an option if everyone wanted to make it through the winter. The Summer Tournament was the only occasion they thought it was acceptable, because it brought the people together and it was a bit of a celebration of surviving another winter.

This was the first time in a couple of years that the contest would last more than three days. Lord Ricardus kept his family tradition to host the tournament because he knew it somehow gave a little bit of joy to his people after long winters. He also learnt when he was younger the importance of gathering all his people for diplomacy and how easier it was to please his bannermen after a few strokes of free violence. There were also the prizes for the champions of the joust, single combat and archery. Competing on either category was a chance to be seen by their Liege Lord and many bannermen tried their luck or even sent their sons to the competition.

That year was no different, except maybe for the higher prizes and higher number of contestants. Lord Sternlash also wanted to make his family name known and he made his eldest son, Nycholas, enrol in all three categories once the boy, who was already seventeen, had proven to be a fierce fighter, great rider and excellent archer. Nycholas knew he had to impress to make Lord Ricardus sure that he was a worthy champion to be his daughter’s husband.

After Ricardus’ speech, the whole family took their places in the padded chairs set up for them and the jousting began. The first three disputes were quite alright in Elsie’s opinion, but for her personally, archery was much more of an entertainment than seeing two men almost kill each other on top of running horses. The last one of them had an actual death. The spear of a well-known cruel knight broke on a young inexperienced and looking for glory boy and a thick sliver stuck on the boy’s neck. There was blood everywhere and the footmen came to fetch his horse and his body. It was quite the sad view, but nothing no one had never seen before and the wilder and bloodier it got, the more the crowd enjoyed it.

When the horse and the body were taken away from the track, Elsie noticed that Nycholas had left their stand. She really thought that she had seen him give her a smile and a terrible thought ran through her mind. No, her parents would never use the tournament as an excuse to get her married. They would tell her first, for sure, she thought shaking the bad thoughts off of her head. Elsie also quickly analysed Nycholas. He was tall with broad shoulders and he seemed muscled. His yellow straight hair went down his shoulders and he had bright blue eyes. He was considered very pretty for most of the northerner girls, but to Elsie, Gilbert’s grey eyes were definitely more interesting and Gilbert didn’t look like a boy like Nycholas, Gilbert was already a man.

However, before Elsie could realize what was happening, a new horse appeared at the end of the track with a knight riding it to the grandstand. The knight took off his helmet and Nycholas’ blonde hair blew against the wind. He nodded politely at Lord Ricardus and led his horse closer to the stand.

“My lady, will you please accept this winter rose from this humble knight who wishes to compete in your honour?” Nycholas said reaching out his hand with a single pink rose to Elsie and smiling at her.

Anne had to subtly poke her sister with her elbow as Elsie took a few seconds to understand he was talking to her. She looked at her father who encouraged her with a smile. She got up and took the rose out of Nycholas’ hand.

“Thank you, sir,” she answered politely faking the biggest smile she could.

Her mind was burning up with angry thoughts of how she was trapped under social circumstances to accept Nycholas’ courtship and by the look on her mother’s eyes she confirmed her primary thoughts. They were trying to get her married to that boy and it just made her even angrier knowing that they meant for it to be a surprise as they expected her not to disappoint them in front of everyone.

She sat back on her chair and looked angrily at her sister.

“Did you know about this?” She hissed.

“Elsie, please…” Anne started, but she was interrupted by someone else.

“My dear wife!” They heard someone shouting and both sisters attention turned to the second joust contestant. It was Philippe, Anne’s husband, who was clearly drunk and trying to stay on top of his horse. Anne’s eyes went wide and she stared at the man in awe. “I’m sorry, should I have brought you a flower as well? Oh, damn, I guess I forgot, but I promise that I’ll fight for your honour, not that you have any left once I took it myself,” he continued stumbling through the words and laughed while Anne’s cheeks turned red in embarrassment.

“That’s enough, Lord Philippe,” Ricardus interfered rising up from his seat. “You may be my son by law. However, you weren’t by my daughter’s side today and you had the audacity to show up drunk in a joust and mock my daughter in front of my people. I will not allow it and for that you are disqualified from the joust. I hope to see you tonight at the feast, sober. Get out of my sight, now.”

Philippe could be drunk, but he wasn’t a fool to make more of a scene than he already did with the great Lord Ricardus in front of all his people and he understood the tone in his father by law’s voice. He took a quick look at Anne with a slight hope that she would say something in his defence. However, she turned her back to him and left the tribune with Elsie going right after her. It is fair to say that Philippe was a bit of a fool, after all.

Anne already had tears in her eyes when Elsie caught up to her almost inside the castle. The younger girl wasn’t as good as her sister in running with heels on. Elsie grabbed her sister by her arm and gave her a tight hug. They might have had their differences when they were children and still did now as grown-ups, but they also loved each other dearly and for them, family was something they would go far and beyond to protect.

Elsie let Anne sob and cry as much as she wanted.

“Why does he have to do that to me? Why does he enjoy embarrassing me?” Anne cried in her sister’s shoulder.

“He is a complete i***t for not seeing the amazing wife he’s got,” Elsie answered trying to comfort her sister.

“I don’t know, Elsie,” Anne let go of her sister and both of them walked into the castle and sat down at the bench inside the entrance hall. “I think he does that because I can’t give him any children and it’s not like we didn’t try, you know? I guess there’s just something wrong with me.”

“Or maybe, there is something wrong with him. Have you thought of that? How many whores did he bring home?” Elsie asked and Anne started to cry even more. “No, don’t cry, let me finish. How many of them gave him any bastards at all? Have you thought that maybe this is for the best? Maybe God doesn’t want you to bare that prick’s child. Maybe God knows you’re better than that.”

“Whores have their ways not to be with child. I don’t know how, but they do, Elsie. And if God wanted the best for me, he would give me a child,” Anne said wiping the tears from her face and getting up. “I’m going back to my chambers now, Elsie. I’d like to be alone for a while.”

“Annie, come on,” Elsie tried following her sister.

“Elsie, just go back to the grandstand,” Ann walked away and disappeared into the hallway.

Elsie stood in the entrance hall without knowing what to think. She was sad for her sister and she knew Anne’s married life wasn’t easy. But on the other hand she was still furious for the trap her parents had set for her. She wasn’t going back to the grandstand and smile like the perfect daughter they wanted. No, they didn’t deserve that and she deserved to have at least some fun. Elsie went back to her room, took off her dress and shoes and washed her makeup off as well. She opened a big chest in her room and threw all her belongings on the floor first to find at the bottom of the chest an old cotton brown dress. It was a servant dress she once stole to use it around the castle without anyone recognizing her, especially when she wanted to see Gilbert. She put on her boots and untied her hair, putting it in a messy bun on top of her head, looking nothing like the proper lady she did earlier.

Elsie looked at herself in the mirror and was proud of the job she did. She could easily walk among the commoners without anyone knowing who she was and even better, she could watch the tournament with Gilbert.

She left her room with her head down not to be noticed by any servant, although the castle was quite calm given that most people were watching the joust. She made her way to the forge once again that day, hoping that Gilbert would still be there. It would be way too difficult to find him in the middle of the crowd watching the tournament.

Luckily he was exactly where Elsie expected him to be. Ury, his master, was away helping out the contestants on a special tent made for armours, shields and swords repairs. Gilbert was inside the forge hammering down a piece of melted metal alone.

“Pity to see such a beautiful and festive day being thrown away by staying all by yourself inside this dark and hot forge,” she said approaching him.

“This is the last one, I promise,” Gilbert replied putting the metal on a bucket of water carefully not be burnt by the smoke.

“I thought Ury had given you the day off to see the tournament,” Elsie stood in front of him.

“He did, but he said that I could only leave if I finished these pieces,” he said putting the one he was working with away and cleaning his hands on his pants. “But what are you doing here? I thought you had to be at the ceremony.”

“I was, until Philippe, the prick, ruined everything for Anne. She ran to her room and I took it as an opportunity for you and I to spend the day together. See the fights and the archery, eat something hot and greasy and have some fun, you know.”

She walked over to Gilbert and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Your parents will notice that you’re not there,” he held her closer to him.

“They already showed us off and the ceremony is over anyway,” she said between small kisses all over his face. “Besides, they won’t even recognize me like this,” she finally kissed him the mouth.

“Are you sure you won’t get into trouble?”

“Oh, come on, Gilbert, let’s enjoy some time together, without having to hide, please.”

“Alright, let me just change into something clean,” he finally agreed.

Gilbert left Elsie alone for a few minutes while he went to his private chambers located at the back of the forge. He was only a smith’s apprentice after all and he never had nice things like her. Not that he cared, really. He was used to the simple lifestyle he lived and it was much better than the one he had when he was just a child.

His mother was a w***e and he used to live with her at the brothel just outside Nevettia. However he never saw her with any clients and she was very loving towards him despite the poor conditions they lived in, which made him always have fond memories of her. He never met his father neither did he know his name or if he was dead or alive. His mother never spoke about him since she probably couldn’t tell who he was. Gilbert’s mother died due to a fever, so he became an orphan when he was only seven years old and it was when the brothel keeper threw him on the streets. Ury found him stealing burnt bread from one of the houses in the village almost a year later and after scolding the poor boy, Ury felt sorry for him and took him to his forge at Nevettia’s keep where Lord Ricardus gave him permission to raise the boy to be his apprentice. Ury wasn’t quite the father figure for Gilbert, it was more like an uncle and he was fine with that - he never had a father and still didn’t really need one. He was very grateful for Ury, though. If it wasn’t up to him, Gilbert might still be living in the streets or probably dead by now.

“I’m ready,” he came back to the forge.

“Great, let’s not waste any more time,” Elsie grabbed his hand and led him back to the tournament.

Elsie knew she had to stay away from the highborns, firstly because if anyone recognized her, she wouldn’t hear the end of it from her parents, secondly because they would never accept someone dressed like a commoner between them, so they walked by the people’s side and finally and most importantly, her relationship with Gilbert should be kept in secret. They started looking at every tent set up for the event, from the ones selling armours and swords, to the ones with bows and arrows, to the tent with artists performing a child’s play and finally to the ones selling food. She bought them a jar of wine and some rabbit stew that smelled delicious. They ate together listening to the music a bard nearby was playing. It was so jolly that many people around them were also dancing and enjoying themselves.

Elsie was more than happy to be among simpler people. They seemed happier and lighter and like they didn’t have a care in the world. Obviously, that was mostly the wine talking for most of the commoners there, but everyone deserved some happiness in life, at least once a year anyway.

When they finished their meal, Elsie got up and inspired by the mood around her, pulled Gilbert by his hand to the crowd until they were both dancing together just like the people around them. Gilbert in the right state of mind would’ve never agreed to dance so carefreely with Elsie, but just like everyone else, the wine did a little of the thinking for him. He loved that girl in front of him, he loved seeing her genuine smile, having her uplifting spirit near him and listening to every dream she had about leaving the castle and travelling around the world. He wished he could make all that possible for her and see her smile like that every day beside him. However, he knew it couldn’t last. She was a highborn lady and he was just some w***e’s bastard.

When he first started to feel like he wanted more than her friendship, he stayed away from her, knowing he couldn’t nurture those feelings, until she came after him demanding to know why he wasn’t her friend anymore. Between yelling and tears she ended up telling him that she felt the same and he couldn’t keep himself away from her any longer. Elsie made him happy, made him feel like he belonged somewhere, like he was worthy of being loved, even if it had to be a secret relationship destined to fail, he selfishly allowed himself to have those small happy moments with her.

The bard finished his song and the crowd applauded, so did Elsie and Gilbert, then another song started.

“I think that’s enough of dancing for today, don’t you think?” Elsie grinned at Gilbert.

“As m’lady commands,” he bowed to her.

“Oh don’t you start with that, stupid,” she pushed him playfully. “Now, come on, the archery contest must have started by now.”

She grabbed him by the hand and led them to the shooting yard. As they already expected, the contest had already started and they had to make their way through the crowd to get closer as Elsie’s height didn’t really help. When they finally found a good spot, Gilbert stood behind Elsie, courageously hugging her from behind. Not everyone was used to see that much affection between an young couple and he still feared someone would recognized her. However, it did not happen, so they watched the contest freely and happily.

By the time it was over, people started to go back to the tents looking for something to fill their bellies and wine to go down with it. Elsie and Gilbert made their way back to the forge. Elsie knew she had to go back and dress up again for the feast. Another ceremony she would gladly avoid if she could, but since she kind of ran away from the grandstand with her sister, she knew better than to test her mother’s patience.

They reached the small cottage where Gilbert lived behind the forge and looked carefully to avoid being caught by Ury, who thankfully wasn’t back yet.

“Will I see you at the feast?” She asked Gilbert hugging his waist.

“If you look far at the end of the great hall at the last tables, I believe you will. Just because Ury and I were somewhat invited because of our work, doesn’t really mean we are guests of honour,” he replied hugging her back.

“I wish I could sneak up to the back so we could be together, but I’m happy that you at least will be nearby.”

“I’ll be there, don’t worry and if you need me, you know where to find me,” he smiled and kissed her. “You better go now, before they notice you were out all afternoon.”

“Thank you for today, I had a great time with you, as always,” she gave him another quick kiss. “I’ll see you later.”

He let her go and she ran back into the castle, while he went to his chambers. Elsie wanted to avoid questions about where she’d been all afternoon, so she changed into the dress she was wearing at the opening ceremony and tried to put her hair back in place. After a long day of tournament, Elsie knew her mother would be exhausted, which meant she wouldn’t be looking at every detail and she would be glad if Elsie just showed up and behaved.

It didn’t take long for a maid to knock on her door to announce that dinner was ready and that the feast had just begun. This time there was no problem for her to walk into the great dinner hall alone and there was no strict social protocol.

When she reached the dinner hall, there were many people sat around the big long tables set on the room and the servants were already running around with wine jars, fruits, roasts and pies. Elsie spotted the main table where her family was with the Sternlashes, the guests of honour. She also noticed that the only place left for her was in between her sister Anne and Nycholas Sternlash and the sight of it made her roll her eyes. While she made her way to her seat, she studied the room looking for Gilbert and just like he had said, he was sitting far in the back, where she barely could see him, sitting next to Ury and some other lower knights. He found her gaze and smiled timidly. She smiled back, feeling a lot less nervous than before.

She sat quietly, trying to ignore the strange presence of Nycholas by her side. Anne was quiet was well, she didn’t even look up from her plate and was drinking shy sips of wine. Elise noticed that her sister’s strange behaviour was due to Philippe’s presence by her side on the table.

After the main course, roasted lamb stuffed with green peppers, onions and carrots, Lord Ricardus stood from his place and called for everyone’s attention. It took a while for the crowd to be silent, too much wine had already been drunk.

“Good evening, my lords, my ladies,” Lord Ricardus began. “Thank you for sharing this meal with me and my family. I would like to take this opportunity to make an announcement. The Asheyes and the Sternslashes have always been good friends and often had united their families. I could not be more grateful for having such good people taking care of our crops for so long. To show my gratitude, I am uniting our families once again,” he turned to Elsie, whose heart was racing in disbelief that this was really happening to her. “Nycholas, if you please,” he smiled at the boy who rose from his seat besides Elsie.

“My lady,” Nycholas held his hand out to her.

Elsie was already panicking and by the look on her face it was clear she lost complete track of what was happening and what she should do. Nycholas led the situation, then. He took her hand into his, encouraging her to stand with him, which she did numbly.

“Will you do me the honour of being my wife?” he asked smiling at her.

Elsie’s numb state was gone after his question and her eyes travelled from the boy besides her to the crowd and she could feel every eye in the room watching her every move, but she could only look at the only person in that room that was the most important to her: Gilbert. He was still sitting, but he was looking back at her, his shoulders were tense and even though Elsie couldn’t see it, he was clenching his fists so hard that his knuckles were almost white.

“Elsie?” Her father’s voice made her come back to reality and she looked at him, then to Lord and Lady Sternlash who were impatiently waiting for an answer and finally stopped at her mother who was looking sharply at her as a warning for her not to say the wrong thing. Lady Asheye nodded stiffly as if giving her daughter a clue of what to answer.

Afraid of disappointing her father and causing a scene for him in front of all his bannermen, Elsie answered the only thing she could at that exact time.

“Yes.”

The room exploded in applauses, her parents were smiling and so was Nycholas by her side. He leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the cheek, which made her even more uncomfortable.

Elsie quickly turned her head back to the crowd searching for a very particular handsome smith’s apprentice, but he was already gone.