Pleasure and Pain (Not your typical love affair)

“I'VE cheated on you,” I said directly on his eyes. I want him to feel that I want this to end already. I really want to be free from him at ayokong matali sa kanya habang buhay.        “You heard me Juddah!?” I shouted nang hindi man lang siya umalma sa sinabi ko. Bahagya lang itong natigilan pero hanggang doon lang 'yon. “I want out. Palayain mo na ako!” Pagod na ako sa sitwasyon naming to. Alam kong gan’on din siya. Pero ang put*ngina, nagmamanhid-manhidan lang at walang pakealam. We have been like this for a month now. Ni minsan, hindi ako sumaya kasama siya. Puro pasakit lang ang naramdaman ko sa kanya.        “Juddah—“        He cut me off, “I heard you, Maldrid! Don't repeat it again!” madiin na aniya. His brown eyes were staring directly at me. It's piercing through me—at alam kong malamig 'yon. His jaw were clenching and his hands were already forming into fist. I know he is mad right now. But that's what I want. Gusto kong magalit siya sa 'kin.        Alam kong nakaabot sa kanya ang kalokohang ginawa ko kagabi. But what the f*ck I care? That was my intention. I did it intentionally. Nilalandi ko ang kahit na sinong lalake d’yan para hiwalayan niya na ako.        “Narinig mo naman pala! Now, give me back my freedom! Hindi ako masaya sa ganito. Lolokohin lang kita ng paulit-ulit Juddah! You heard it? I’ve cheated on you for how many times now! Sira na ang pangalan mo dahil sa 'kin!” I said, already frustrated. Halos ipagduldulan ko na ang sarili ko sa kanya makuha lang niya ang sinasabi ko.        He heaved a sighed and shook his head. His lips curved a bit. "F*cking no, Maldrid!" He stood up and went directly to the stair, walking out on me.        I rose up on my feet at hinabol siya. “Why don't you just let me go?!” I gritted my teeth in annoyance because of the arrogant smirk plastered on his lips. Kumuyom ang kamao ko. Gusto ko siyang saktan nang paulit-ulit hanggang sa mapagod ako. Gusto kong maramdaman niya na hindi ko gusto ang ganito. Nakakasakal!        “I just don't want to let you go!” madiing aniya at hinapit ako sa beywang at bago pa man ako makaalma, buhat-buhat niya na ako paakyat sa taas.        “F*ck Juddah! Put me down!” I protested.        “Your mouth, Maldrid! You keep on cursing. I might do something about it later,” he chuckled.        “I said put me down!” Nadagdagan ang iritasyon sa boses ko nang wala man lang akong makuhang reaksyon sa kanya kahit pinagpapalo ko na ang likod niya.        “Uh-uh. It's a no. It's time for your duty now as my wife. I'm tired from work the whole day. So... you'll warm my bed tonight.” Nang makapasok sa kwarto ay pabato niya akong inilapag sa kama habang unti-unti niya nang kinakalas ang butones ng polong suot niya.        “Put*ngina naman, I said I've cheated on you! Gagalawin mo pa rin ako!? Hindi ka ba makaintindi!?”        He laughed, tawang puno ng sarkasmo saka pinasadahan ng tingin ang buong katawan ko. “So? I have a power to f*cking kill every bastard who's getting on my way. You know me, Maldrid. If I have to kill them, I will f*cking kill them!" madilim na aniya, umiigting ang panga. He walk towards me at hinila ang mga paa ko at pinagparte niya iyon. He went on top of me saka marahas na hinubad ang damit ko. Nagsitalsikan ang butones ng blusa ko dahil doon.        Ngumisi siya at pinasadahan ng kanyang kamay ang hubad ko nang katawan. “Beautiful,” he uttered, admiring my body.        I closed my eyes. I am mad. But I can feel the pleasure starting to build up on my body. I arched my back when his tongue and lips worshipped my whole.  He's good at this. He always satisfy me in bed as he satisfy himself.        "Juddah!" I raked my hand on his hair while he's creating pleasure between my legs.        Minutes later, he went on top of me again and fill his manhood inside me. “I love you, Maldrid. F*ck! I really do!” He started thrusting on between my legs.        My tears started to fall the moment he said it. Imbis na matuwa, mas lalo lamang akong nadismaya sa kanya. Pareho na kaming naglolokohan dito.        “Maldrid, baby!”        Pinahid ko ang mga luha ko at pinagmasdan siyang nakapikit na gumagalaw sa ibabaw ko. I held both his cheeks and caressed it. If he loves me, why does he need to cheat on me? Or did he... really cheat?  I closed my eyes again. I know the truth but I just keep on denying it on myself. Pilit akong nagbubulag-bulagan sa sitwasyon naming 'to.        “Marhianna, I'm almost there,” he whispered. His phase fasten until he reached his zenith. He groaned in pleasure while feeling his release. And I moaned in pain while listening on him uttering my mother's name.        Nag-iwas ako ng tingin.  The truth is... he didn't cheat on me. Because in the first place, ako ang sumira sa kanila. Ako ang masama at naging hadlang dito. I am disgusting dahil pumatol ako sa dapat na ngayon ay asawa na ng aking ina.