Serendipity: Guilt and Innocent

002 - Exit Music (For A Film)

August 2004

I felt as if time had passed before my eyes at a super fast speed, from my parents' burial which had to be done in a closed casket, to all the family lawyers, and my grandparents dealing with this situation however they could. My movements, actions, and responses were entirely mechanical. Each day was the same as the one before, and I felt myself sinking into the chaos.

When Santiago got arrested, I was sure he was innocent, that he had nothing to do with the brutal murder of my parents, but with each piece of evidence and traces that the police department obtained, my certainty grew smaller, and my heart broke.

You know those loves that we are sure are unique and, for life, I thought he would be mine. But now? All I wanted was for him to pay for his crimes and never see his face again.

The trial was getting closer and closer with each passing day, and I would be called by the prosecution as a key witness. I would have to look him in the face along with all the lawyers. I will have to explain how all I wanted that night was to have fun at the prom and lose my virginity and how, at some point during the night, Santiago had found time to go to my home and kill my family.

...

Michael was essential in my pre-trial mental health improvement. He helped me understand the situation and what I'd have to say or do during the testimony. He soothed me through endless crises in the meantime and showed me how my mother would want me to go to college, get a proper education and follow the path to greatness without necessarily having to give up on their memory.

It was because of him that I decided to go to Columbia, among many others, a renowned college far away from that cursed place, even though my father's wish was to see me at the University of Texas. I went to Columbia to renew my inner energy and try a new beginning in the Big Apple.

My grandmother was with me when we started to cover the decade-old furniture in the house with white tarps to prevent the weather from destroying those items that my mother loved so very much. It was incredibly difficult to say goodbye to the employees that spent my entire childhood and adolescence taking care of my home, but it was a necessary discomfort.

But nothing was as hard and bad as returning the old Camaro to my ex-boyfriend's sister. The look of pain and unmistakable face of exhaustion was so obvious on Rosa's face, and for the first time I could see that when she looked at the car she didn't have an ounce of pride in the work she'd done or any happiness at all, but a look of pure and authentic sorrow.

...

The trial was a complete media circus. After all, my parents were important, traditional, and well-loved members of the local community. Michael, his parents, and a very expensive-looking PR agent helped me escape the bulk of the press and enter the courtroom through the back door.

I kept my head down throughout the entire time I wasn't on the stand. I could feel his gaze burning into my skin, and I didn't want to go through that pain unless it was absolutely necessary.

My anger only increased when I saw the evidence being placed one by one in front of the jury. I was learning at that time the details of how he took advantage of a moment when I went out dancing with a friend. He gave the excuse that he was going to get the agave bottle to spike the punch, and used the time to go to my house and murder my parents in cold blood. Evidence found at the scene showed that the perpetrator knew about Jacob and Mary's habits, and recorded phone calls showed that my father had threatened Santiago the day before, trying to get him to break up with me.

When I was called to the stand, I replicated exactly what Michael and his parents taught me and watched as Santiago tried to get up, calling my name. The bailiffs in the room didn't take long to put him in his place, handcuffing him to the table. And I knew that with my testimony his destiny was set and that that would change his life for the rest of it.

I saw the anguish of Rosa right in her eyes and on the rest of her siblings in the audience. After all, his work as a paperboy and pizza deliverer was part of their income and livelihood. They lived in a fatherless and motherless house. Rosa had to drop out of a college scholarship to take care of her siblings when their parents died. But just as I had all this time, I just let myself be led away while the judge handed down his sentence.

“Santiago Villanueva, you are found guilty of the murder of Jacob Edward Bullworth II and Mary Bullworth. I sentence you to 20 years of imprisonment at Attica Correctional Facility in the maximum security wing. This sentence cannot be appealed and you do not have the right to parole after part of your sentence. Since you are a minor, you are lucky to avoid death row, and we are showing you the mercy you didn't show to one of the noblest couples that have ever lived in this town."

And it was with those words, spoken by Judge Howard, that I stepped out through the doors of that courthouse towards my future. At the time, I didn't notice that Santiago was being sent away to another state, even though there were plenty of prisons in Texas. One day I might forgive him, but at the time I only wanted him to suffer.