My demon

Chapter 18

--6 days later--

Jungkook POV

Do you know this kind of feeling when you don't live for yourself but for the others instead?

I feel like this right now, so lonely, hurt and broken.

6 days: 144 hours: 8640 seconds without Jimin and I try to stay in the light but my world darkens with every new day. I try to be strong.. I really try but I'm so tired and lonely. I know my mom's worried. She and even Hitman noticed the dark rings under my eyes but I can't do something against it. I need all my energy to open my eyes, to breathe the next day. Just to get up takes so much energy

Everybody says it is hard at the beginning of something new but they lied...

6 days passed and I feel like dying slowly. More and more of me fades away..My heart doesn't have a hole, no. It's broken in thousands of pieces like a mirror.

The first day without him was like I witnessed my own death.. I couldn't get the courage to go to school so I lied in bed and cried but without to make a noise the whole day. I felt my tears escaping my eyes, running down to my nose and cheek and that was all. I didn't notice my mom coming in this day to bring me food I didn't eat. I lost my appetite as well.

The second day was where she couldn't take it anymore I guess cause she forced me the eat some veggie soup.. It was hot. I saw the dust over the liquid but I hadn't felt it as it ran down my throat like simple water. I haven't felt any better after it and cried again into my still wet pillow..

I didn't go to school the rest of the week and heard my mobile ringing but I didn't answer. My mind was full of Jimin and what would be with him..

It's so dark without him, so urban and it's useless to survive in this world any longer. Weren't we mean to be?! Is this my destiny? To live a life alone without the man I truly love?

I guess yes.. And it makes me feel like a lonely comet flying through the dark Galaxy.

6 days without him and it's a beginning of a new week, Monday. I should go to school again but I don't really want to.. I can't be like this infront of my mom anymore. She's worried like hell and I know it. I see it in her eyes whenever she looks deeply at me. I guess I have to live for herself instead of myself now. It's just fair after all what she has done in her life for me.

I just don't know what to live for when I'm not with Jimin.

It's morning and I stand in the bathroom. I look into the mirror and see the pale, young boy with messy brown hair who looks so foreign to me. He looks different from the last time I did this.

Since when have I been looking like this? Since Jimin have left me? I notice my bones are more visible but I can't think too much about it. My eyes fix on my neck and see the scar which is still there and clearly visible. I thought it will be gone too when our bond breaks but I guess I'm wrong. This is what I have left from Jimin: this scar and my bracelet. Mother said that it isn't good for me to let it on but who am I when I throw it away like some dirt? He made it extra for me and I want to have this precious piece of memory.

I take a shower and don't even know if the water's cold or hot. It could burn my skin but I wouldn't notice. I turn it off later and step out to grab a towel. Why can't I find a reason to live? Which makes me happy? My heart knows one but I can't allow.

'Please eat this Jungkook! I only made it for you!' Mom tells and looks at the chocolate pancakes. I liked them very much in my childhood.

'Your mom worked hard to make it!' I look at Hitman who's next to my mom and then back at the food. I guess she and Hitman are in a relationship now. He's here almost everyday. I should ask her but my mouth doesn't open.

I say nothing but grab my fork and knife and begin to eat. I notice my mom breathes out in I guess relief and this is a good signal isn't it?. It makes her happy so it's fine.

After breakfast I get up, mumble a small "goodbye" and leave. I notice that I speak less than usual but I don't think it's bad. I don't have much to say anyways

'My god Kookie! Where were you and where's the boy I knew?' Jin shouts worriedly and hugs me tightly as soon as he lays eyes on me. I notice him touching my sides

'God, you're so thin!' I have the urge to cry but I can't. I have no more tears left.

'Are you okay? Where's Jimin?' This gives me a reaction, a painful one

'He's in Busan.' their eyes widen by the foreign tone in my voice and Namjoon rubs comforting over my arm

'There's more isn't it Kookie?' His voice sounds serious and his eyes encourage me to speak without shattering voice

'H..he won't come back this time..'

'What happened Kookie?'

'I... I don't want to talk about it Hyung!' I breathe out while trying not to cry and he nods worriedly while Jin does the same. I didn't cry, that's good.

--After school--

I make my way home, feel limp in all places and look up to see the sky still being dark and covered in dark angry clouds. I think it is like this since Jimin has left. Wind flies through the trees, through my hair and I feel not as much as I did since the first day. Am I sick? I don't know but honestly I don't care. A doctor couldn't help me anyways

I don't know my own self anymore. Should it bother me? Should it not?

Strange... Because it doesn't.

A loud thunder echoes behind me but I don't gasp nor jump up. Not even a glimpse of fear or another kind of emotion. Not the slightest reaction but my legs keep bringing me forward through the park..

A bright lightening follows but I just walk further. Another thunder echoes but I only stop as a rain drop hits me. I look up and for the first time I have an urge to do something so I reach out with my hand like I can catch the drops, like a lost soul. I don't know why but it seems right. Maybe the rain can wash my thoughts of Jimin away.....

'Such a wonderful creature!'

For the first time after 6 days I get a reaction of an emotion and it's a powerful one. A cold shiver runs down my back, freezes me completely while my heart clenches in anticipation. It's the voice I could never forget but it's impossible for it to be here. It has to be a dream. I turn around slowly as I hear strong footsteps and gasp as I look into the handsome face of the demon I've fallen for. His pale cheeks are thinner than usual..

He is here, in front of my eyes, looking at me so... It hurts my heart

I can't dare to say his name. He can't know about me. But what is he doing here then?

This reminds me of the day as I met him. He wears a black button shirt and tight black jeans with his long jacket which reaches his knees. The chains of Aryla covers the middle and builds a cross. I'm glad I can hide my bracelet under my oversized sweater. This time only one of his eyes is black and the other red. This is a sign that he'll win over Kira, right? I wish I could ask Suga.

Jimin looks stronger than the last time I had seen him, 6 days ago.

'Tell me your name!' I gasp as he strokes my left cheek. How is he this close and I haven't noticed?

'N..no' I whisper and step backwards. He can't know that. It won't be good for him and he needs his power badly

'No? How sweet but it's interesting to see you're not afraid of me.' He says and steps towards me while I step backwards.

'Do you even know who I am?' He groans just a meter away from me and I shake my head while my heart screams yes

'I'm Park Jimin, the king of the demons of the world Busan.... You..' He speaks almost painfully at the end. My eyes widen as my back hits a tree so he can trap me completely.

He leans in close so I can smell his delicious scent and his hot breath hits the corner of my lips

'My mind says no but my heart yes... You look so familiar.. Tell me your name.' He orders and I want to kiss him so badly. It wrecks my insides to have this much self control

'Y..you don't know me just like I don't know you!' I whisper and hope he lets me go. This isn't good for him and me.

'But why did my heart scream at me to come here to exactly this place? Why do you look so familiar and my heart reacts if I don't know you?' His words are so romantic and I could melt but his life is more important.

'Why should I know that? I don't know you. Maybe you're having the wrong person here so let me go!' I shout at him and pray that he does it. I want his touch at the same time so bad.

'Tell me your name!' He orders but I shake my head. My eyes widen as he takes my chin between his fingers. The sparks of his touch are amazing, the warmth, the oh so familiar action of him.

'N..no' I whisper and he grints his teeth. He looks mad

'f**k, I'm absolutely sure I had met you once but I can't remember! Tell me human!' He rams his fist in the wood just 3 inches next to my head and takes my breath away. He looks so overwhelmed and confused..

I hate to say this words so much

'I don't know you' I want to say the opposite. I need to get away from here. He stares intensely at me, like he's in deep thoughts and his arms beside my head loosens. Take this chance Jungkook.

With a fast move I slip out of the small gap but just as I take the second step he yanks me back by my arm and pushes me down onto the grass.

'Did I say you can leave pretty boy?' He hisses and tears well up in my eyes by the last two words. He called me the same and it hurts too much in my heart.

'Let me go, please let me leave!' I whimper as he leans in. I can't move an inch of my body. It feels warm by the familiar heat which rushes through my limbs. I watch him coming closer and closer while his eyes travel to my lips... I don't know what will happen if he'll kiss me... I can't take it.

I'm sure nobody is in this area.. If so, then they would come to help me by a scene like that but I don't hear anything so I guess I have no chance of getting help but do I even need it?

'I have the urge to kiss you since I have laid eyes on you.' Goosebumps covers my body as he strokes down my cheek but not further. I'm sure he doesn't cause I don't know what he'll do when he'll see the scar with his initials in it. It's good that I'm wearing a turtleneck sweater..

'No.. No, no please!' I beg but it's too late. I close my eyes by the oh so good feeling of his plump lips on mine. I'm too selfish, too lost at this moment and felt so much pain and need just like now so I kiss him back desperately, like a dying man and he's the water I need to survive. He groans and slips his tongue into my waiting mouth. He tastes so good, kisses me perfectly like he once did. My breath fastens and his hand slips under my sweater. I feel like burning up by his touch.

'If we don't know each other, are you saying then that you're just a simple w***e who gets hard for everyone?' W..what? I blush deeply by his vulgar words and look down to catch my erection.. It's been too long since he touched me and I'm too desperate for him... I missed him so badly. The last days felt like I wasn't living at all.. Now I feel alive.. With him

'You look so beautiful and hot... I'll f**k you right here and now. I can't stop this unbelievable need for you' He tells and suddenly I'm pressed against the hard tree. I gasp by the raw texture and look at him..

'Let me gmmmpff--' he shuts me up with a hard kiss and pushes me harder against the tree. One of his hands travels under my sweater to my n****e and twists the hardening nump. I can't deny the pleasure I missed since he left and moan into his mouth.

'Already making sounds like this?' He groans and takes off my pants and boxer with his power.

'S..stop.... Please s..stop' I breathe out. This isn't good for any of us but he doesn't listen and slips two fingers inside me so easily

'Ahhh!' So familiar.....

'You're so open and ready.. Such a needy boy, moaning so desperately.' He groans and adds a third one. I grab hold on his strong body and feel him jabbing into my special spot. He found it without to search, like he still knows where it is..

He pulls his fingers out and goes on his knees. I see his smirk, gasp as he grabs me by his thighs and pulls me down to sit straight onto his face. I cry out in pure pleasure as he licks my hole, I try to get up but he holds me tight, doesn't let me move an inch. He moves us towards so my back leans against the wall but he doesn't show any mercy at me and licks me raw in the open. The slurping sounds of him are too dirty and sinful but turn me on so much. One of his hands lets go of my thigh but grabs my asscheek instead to pull it apart. He slips his tongue naughtily into my hole and brings me to cloud nine. This man knows how to make me feel amazing. I move my hips, try to bounce on his face so he can reach me deeper and God he does. I can't take it anymore, it feels so good and the last time is a week ago.

I come with a loud and long moan feel my hole clenching in oversensitivity. Jimin gets up but holds me by my hips. I'm sure I would fall without. I look at him, breathless and lean harder against the tree.

With half lidded eyes I watch him opening the fly of his black jeans and feel him claiming my lips so hard I can taste blood.

'Your taste is intoxicating. I can't explain why I'm this hard... It's like I want to bury myself inside you, never want to come back and your body screams at me to take it... Why does it look so familiar?' He says and grabs my thighs to pull me up and then he enters me. I throw my head back as he drives into me so easily. He makes me feel so full and good. My body welcomes and opens up for him.

'So familiar like a locked memory..' He breathes and begins to thrust deep and hard into me. I push him closer to me so he can f**k me deeper. I feel so hot but I need it... One last time together.

'You smell like a wild flower. So appealing.' He groans and bashes into my prostate.

'Ahhhh!' It takes every self control not to scream his name or Master. A tear runs down my cheek, a tear of pleasure, fear and love...

'Why does your scent seem like I have smelled it before?'

My body is his to take, only for him to own.. His c**k twitches inside me and I know he's close just like me.. My walls clench around him, tightens as he f***s me deep.

'Open your eyes! I want to see you when you'll come!' He orders and I do. I cry out as a mind blowing climax rushes over me, traps me in place with him locked inside me. I'm not sure but watch his eyes widen for two seconds.

'Ahhh holy!' He moans and stills completely as he spurts his warm seed into me. Half a minute passes and he pulls out so I can take on my pants. We look deeply into each other's eyes after that. What will happen next? I have to watch him leaving me twice.

'You are so beautiful. I want to make you mine!' My eyes widen in shook while my heart beats in fear. No, he can't, this won't be good!

'No' I shake my head like crazy and try to step to my right but he doesn't let me and grabs my arm.

'I want you and so you'll be!' He growls and furrows his eyes by the hard material under my clothed wrist. No!

He grabs the soft material, wants to pull it up but just as he can see a small glimpse of the jewelry I begin to scream in fear.

'NO!!' Suddenly light begins to shine from my bracelet and my vision gets dizzy. Whats this? No, no.....

'NO, NO, NO.' I whisper and only see pitch black.

Darkness surrounds my everything and I feel so heavy, all of me, my limps, heart and mind

Jimin!

'No!' I shout and sit up in panic mixed with fear. My eyes open instantly and fix my room. My room? How did I come in here?

I remember what happened before I had fainted... I was with Jimin. We had s*x or was it just a dream? I push my knees to my chest and whimper by the pain which shouts from my hole to my abdomen. No, it's reality.

We had s*x and then he wanted to make me his. He grabbed my wrist and wanted to see my bracelet. Oh god, did he see it? The last thing I remember is the light, nothing more and now I'm here.

'Jungkook.' I gasp in fear and look to my left to see Suga who looks almost emotionlessly but I can see the desperate spark. Why is he here?

'W..what?'

'I guess I'm right.. Jimin wasn't with me in Busan so I thought he was with you.' He chuckles slightly pissed and tears well up in my eyes while I feel a bit mad. It sounds like it's my fault.

'I didn't tell him who I am if that's your sorrow.'

'No it wasn't and I knew you wouldn't. I'm sure this is hard for you and I don't even know why he was there... Yesterday he told me that he dreamed of a young boy with fluffy brown hair and deer like eyes. And now he was with you.' Suga tells and my heart squeezes. It sounds like he hasn't forgot me fully.

'And what do you want to tell me then? H..he looks better now. Did he win?'

I sadden as he shakes his head

'Not almost but he's on a good way I think. He has his full power almost back like in the past but his mind is full of you and he doesn't know why. Me neither and this is what holds him back.'

'Holding him back of what?' I gasp

'Of winning. Of getting the great big power to win.'

A part of me understands Suga but another one and this is bigger doesn't know what he means. Jimin is a strong man and I'm sure he'll can do this. Is it really just me? Am I really such a big weakness to him?

'Jungkook I want you to meet someone!' I look at Suga who holds out a hand for me.

'Who?' There's no one I know..

'Taehyung. He's the professor of herbs and history. I thought maybe he could help you.' His eyes plead and I'm sure this won't be good for me but going with him means that I can see the world of the man I love so deeply...

So even if it will hurt me I can't stop my selfishness...

'Okay.'

I don't know what will happen but it can't be worse than this.