Burned By Fate

CHAPTER 003

| ETHAN |

I don't even remember how I got home. I have no recollection of the walk or if I strolled past someone. I might as well have stepped into the road and been hit by a car, that's how much I wasn't paying attention.

My eyes stung painfully. I've never experienced heartbreak before in my life.

I've heard of it, read about it in books and seen it on TV. But no one can prepare you for this backlash of agonising pain.

My mate was with someone else. She was being intimate with someone else.

I clench my eyes shut, trying my hardest not to let the image invade my brain but it's too late. It'll always be there and I won't be able to unsee it. Tattooed into my mind forever.

My heart thumps against my ribcage.

Mate bond. Mate bond. What's the f*****g point if we're not going to wait for each other in the long run?

Maybe I'm the stupid one for saving myself. I know fullwell what werewolves are like but I didn't think I'd end up in a situation like this. I thought we would magically be strolling through the park at the same time.

This... this is a new level of pain. A new level of insecurity I thought I had a hold on and now I feel like a complete sack of s**t. I'll never be able to compete, how can I when I'm inexperienced with s*x, relationships. All of it.

By the time I get home later that night, my mind is completely numb. Along with my body. I've gone through every single emotion possible and now I feel nothing.

Absolutely nothing but worthless, empty, hollow.

I walk through our gated community, not bothering to greet the guards. I can't even meet their eyes. I don't want to. I don't want anyone to see me like this. I want nothing more than to crawl into bed and cover myself with the sheets.

Hide from the world because this cannot be happening to me. Somehow it must be a dream and I'll wake up tomorrow.

When I walk up the steps to our side of the pack house, I keep my head low and shoot up the stairs. People are still up but they don't converse with me, not when I scurry away. Just as I reach my bedroom, head hung low to the floor, I hear a voice behind me.

"Ethan?"

Angel. My sister. I knew she'd be waiting up for me because she knew going to this s*x party would be a bad idea. I should have listened to her and I wouldn't be feeling like this right now.

I pause and raise my head, still facing the door. She can't see my eyes but she knows something is wrong. She's my twin, of course she will be able to sense something inside of me. She always does.

I've told her a thousand times she should be a psychic but she said she's only connected to me.

"Ethan?" She tries again, her voice getting louder as she gets closer.

My lungs swallow down a breath and I turn to face her. I glance over her sandy blonde hair that is tied back in a clip, two strands of fringe falling in front of her face. Those dark eyes are full of concern and worry.

"What happened?"

I can feel my chest begin to quiver as soon as she says those two words. I don't even have to say anything before she wraps her arms around me and I rest my head down onto her shoulder, even if she's almost a foot shorter than me. She gives the most warming hugs.

She pushes us into my room for privacy.

I don't even want to cry.

There is no point in crying over a woman that has no care in the world for her mate.

Angel perches us on my bed and she studies my face, waiting for me to speak.

"I-I found her." My voice cracks.

She tilts her head slowly. "What do you mean?"

I meet her eyes and hold her gaze. "My mate. I found her."

"Oh God," her expression widens and she swallows. "And I'm guessing it didn't go well?"

A sad laugh passes my lips. "You mean I walked in on her being f****d by someone else? Then yeah, it didn't go well."

Angel’s expression crumbles and she wraps her arms around me again. "I'm so sorry, Ethan."

"It hurts so bad," I clench onto her fluffy dressing gown. My heart feels like it's being constantly stabbed now, I preferred it when I felt nothing. I wish I could stay numb forever because it would be so much better than this agony.

"It's f*****g killing me now. The matebond. It just f*****g shattered and every part of it cut me wide open. My head is just chaos."

She releases a slow breath and holds me impossibly tighter. "What happened after that? Did you speak to her?"

I nod, my head still on her shoulder. "She came after me. She tried to apologise but the damage was already done. I had seen everything. And that image-" I groan and clench my jaw. "That image is burned into my memory and it kills me.

It f*****g destroys me, Angel."

She runs a soothing hand down my back and presses a kiss to my head. "She doesn't deserve you," she whispers to me. "You are too kind and generous for this world, and someone who can't even wait for you. They don't deserve you."

My heart pangs in my chest. Am I accepting that I'll never have a mate after watching people in my life find their own and are instantly in love. I am going to be mateless for the rest of my life.

Oh God. The rejection. The rejection might just kill me alone and I squeeze my eyes shut at the thought.

"I need to sleep," I murmur pathetically.

Angela pulls back and nods. "Okay. We can talk about it more in the morning? It might do you some good to just sleep on how you feel. She might try and contact you."

I grimace at the idea. The thought of his voice in my head. I shudder. "I pray she doesn't," I admit. "I won't be able to cope with it."

She leans forward and kisses my forehead before standing from the bed.

"Sleep, Ethan. You look exhausted and I'll be right here with you in the morning."

My eyes flick over my sister's face.

"Alright," I suck in a breath and watch as she leaves.

I find myself staring at the wall for a long period of time. I don't know why but I can't stop.