Reflection That Hunts Me

Some memories don’t fade like we think. They wait. Naghihintay sila hanggang sa maging tahimik ang mundo, hanggang sa wala tayong ibang marinig kundi ang sariling hinga; hanggang sa maging handa tayong harapin sila, o maging mahina para muli tayong mabasag. And today, habang nakatayo ako sa harap ng salamin, ramdam ko silang lahat. The mirror doesn’t lie, but the reflection in front of me keeps hunting me that seems like I don't know it. Para akong estrangherong pinilit at pinipilt pumasok sa sarili kong ako—sa buhay ko. The woman was staring back. She once held everything in her hands: love, hope, and dreams. At kahit pilit kong ngumiti, kita sa mga mata ko ang lungkot na matagal kong tinatakasan. This story is not something about how a person vanishes. This is the story of what remains of me. Kung paano ako huminga pagkatapos tumigil ang isang mundong dati kong ginagalawan. How I learned that love doesn’t end just because a heartbeat does. Sometimes, it becomes quieter, deeper, mas masakit, pero nandoon pa rin...parang alon na bumabalik sa tabing dagat kahit ilang beses ko pa itong layuan. Tonight, as I trace the outline of the woman in the mirror, I see. Alam kong isang bagay ang malinaw. This is where I begin again. Kahit hindi pa buo, kahit hindi pa handa.