He was never mine

Chapter - 6

Berry

"Berry?"

My name bounced to my ears, pulling me from the reverie. His husky voice had enough power to send me into trance or yank me back from a hibernation. I stood there still, unable to process that the person, who occupied my mind since the morning was actually in front of me, head tilted like an amused puppy.

He was waiting for a reaction from me, but all I had done was waited for my brain to send signals to the muscles of my jaw, lips and larynx for a movement. It wasn't a figment of my exorbitant imagination, and not even a prolonged dream where every response crawls like a slug.

"You," I stopped to gather the words "What are you doing here?"

The reaction he had wasn't mutual to mine. His facial muscles were more relaxed than mine. No eyebrows arching, eyes narrowing, mouth gaping. But his mind wasn't vacant either, just was opaque and composed unlike mine.

"I am here to meet someone to see an apartment. What you are doing?" He asked me.

"I live in this building," I replied

"Oh, well, I wasn't expecting to see you so soon, but good to see you again," he tickled my eyes with a smile, which spliced my confusion with his dynamic presence.

Apartment? "Are you here because of Ramirez?" without a second thought, my tongue played its role at the mere thought of my 'probable roommate' could be, Adam.

No.

"Yeah, but how do you know him? Did I mention about him earlier?"

Of course I knew Ramirez. "He's my colleague. I asked him to look for some suitable candidates to share my apartment." And he sent f*****g Adam. I didn't expect my luck to be so merciless.

"Umm, I guess you found, then," his lips stretched upwards a little.

My hands turned cold, but inside I was seething. Did he just assume that I was going to offer him to be my roommate, that easily. He knew about me from Laura, of course, but he didn't know that I wasn't easy.

His solemn reliance on his looks to get the apartment made me pull back the Berry, who can send hell to the hell-bent person, who was towering against my smaller frame. I was anything, but a partisan towards attractive surface.

"Don't self sublet yourself. I will have the last decision after a probe, whether or not you are the right person," I made it clear. "Follow my lead, please."

"Probe, huh?" Adam tucked his left hand on his coat's pocket and gestured the other hand for me to move ahead so he can follow me.

I lifted my eyebrows for his dramatic cue, but then he squinted his eyes a bit. That was his signature persuasive look or more precisely, a tactic to push any kind of rejection. He knew what he was doing. I wasn't ready to fall into the pit he was trying to dig in my gut.

***

Adam's eyes assessed my miniature living room, which most people would compare with a matchbox with an attached kitchen.

The white couch sitting in the hall was bearing the weight of my cluttered unwashed clothes, which I was supposed to take them to the laundry. The Ottoman for the lounge chair was detached from its pair and belittled in the corner of the couch.

Great, he witnessed another side of me. The mess on the kitchen counter top I made earlier was still there. The unwashed dishes and coffee mug basked dry in the sink, seeking for much needed attention.

"Just ignore the mess. I was going to clear all the pile, anyways," I said while picking the clothes from the sofa fumbling with my bracelet to unhook it from a piece of net cloth on my hand.

"Let me help you," Adam briskly walked up to me and clutched my wrist to freed the bracelet from the trap. His hands were cold and shaky.

"Thanks," I meekly uttered by slipping my wrist from his clutch and avoided any sort of further contact.

"You're welcome." I just heard him saying as I compelled my focus on anything, but him.

I dumped the clothes on the nearby Ottoman and beckoned Adam to have a sit on the couch. He reluctantly glided his nimble form onto the edge of the sofa.

"I just have a few questions for you before-"

"Can I see my room?" he slaughtered my interviewer mode. Ugh, such a mood killer

"Hold your horses, Mister; and let's be clear, you're yet to be finalized, so don't have your hopes up," I didn't hold back my breath while freezing his motion.

He leaned forward in the couch to rest both the hands on his legs to clasp it together, "Shoot."

"As I remember you're already sharing an apartment with your friend, Barry, isn't it?"

"You remember, Barry?" Instead of answering my question he chose to be impressed about the fact that I remembered his roommate's name.

"Of course, I do. I mean, who would forget, Barry, the roommate. Although I never met him, but he's still worth to remember," I gave him a fake grin without blinking my eyes, which didn't exactly change his dopey smile, just add on crinkled forehead.

"Y-yeah, I guess," Adam stuttered

"Just don't answer or say something which is irrelevant, okay?"

"Yes. Fine, ma'am."

"Don't."

"Don't?"

"Don't call me ma'am," I requested firmly.

He gave me a weak smile and his head was dropped facing the rug before facing mine, "okay, Berry Shor."

Adam was different, than the first time I met him, which was the previous night. But, somehow it felt like I knew him even before the dubious night.

"Have we met before, by any chance?" I turned my thought into a bona fide question.

"Yes, of course, but it was interrupted," he let go his words from his mouth like vomiting a bitter annoyance.

"Isn't she your toy, anyways?"

"No, she's not. It was more like an acquaintance without the need to label the relation," he said tucking his cheeks insouciantly.

Ew, Gross. So, basically I was interviewing a womaniser to share my apartment. Although, his lack of concern shouldn't have bothered me like it was. It's his life who was I? I wasn't even attracted to him, well physically might be a little bit, but not to his personality. That's how at least I persuaded my mind at that time.

Regardless of how good he smelled, I tried to sacrifice one of my senses in his presence. "Where I was? Yeah, so as I remember you already have an apartment, then why suddenly you're vacating?

He rubbed both his hands together and glanced down his hands, "his boyfriend is moving in, so, it's better to give them their privacy."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you tell me this before when I was with you in your apartment?" I queried

"Well, did we get enough time to gush about the fact that I was on the verge of being homeless? But I have been searching for a few weeks, I didn't get any place closer to my work," his eyes lingered on his hands. "Barry isn't chucking me out of the house, if you have a doubt. It's just that the sooner I get my place it would be better, right?" He continued, but that time he looked me into my eyes.

"Yeah, right." I said inspection his eyes.

His eyes were so intimate that it said they could assuage my loathe towards the idea of being mended by someone. Even my lethargic senses wanted to work twice faster than its usual speed. What his eyes were holding wasn't even clear. It was like he shrouded the window, but somehow could peep through mine.

Was I being so obvious or Laura was an excellent raconteur? No. I tried to shrug it off as it was just a vague inclination towards someone, who wasn't actually like the one who he was pretending to be. But the enigma radiating was so strong, that I wondered, am I the one being stupefied or one of them?

"Do you realize that we almost hooked up the other night?" I decided to be pragmatic for a moment under his vigilant eyes.

"Yes, I do and in fact I have a very distinct memory about that particular moment," could he ever be serious sometimes, there was that signature look, again.

"I don't need the pictures you captured in your mind," I took a deep breath "See, we made out, don't you think being each other's roommate would be awkward?"

He halted for a few seconds before looking at me, again, "Should we worried about it? Because I don't think we both were serious and plus the moment is already passed, isn't it?"

True. He wasn't wrong. We passed that moment, but the inkling of being around someone, who makes me question about my security was endangering.

"You aren't wrong. But can I trust you with your flirtatious banter?"

"What? You thought I was flirting, it's the way I talk, but you should definitely see my flirting to differentiate," Adam brushed off my allegations.

"So, no hitting and making move?"

"No, of course not, as I said the moment is passed and I don't like to go backwards," he said as if I was that melodramatic plot which he doesn't want to rewind. "And by the way last night we were both in the same page, weren't we?

Were we? Yes, of course we both were interested to not draw a line in the page and keep on scribbling until everything is messed up.

But, what I wasn't expecting was to be forgotten by him so soon; especially when he was so concerned towards me the other night. We didn't only share physical intimacy, but also somewhat emotional. Perhaps it was all the effects of the alcohol, not more than that. Although he was acting different than the night of diffusing words from both the ends.

"I am glad, but I am not sure about your mingling with others."

Adams brows joined each other instantaneously to grasp the words. "What do you mean?"

"I don't want you to bring girls every other night in my apartment," I instantly spoke out.

"Wouldn't it be mine, too, if we share it?" Adam lifted a brow to question me, but it was more like stuffing awareness on my head.

Yes. "Yes."

"But," I continued after a respite. "You cannot bring girls in my- I mean in our apartment in my presence," my eyes met the ceiling while drawling the word 'our.'

"Okay, if that's what you want, but that same thing should be applied to you, too," he added the condition with an invincible confidence.

I shook my head and smiled to stop myself from storming, not because it was flaring my ego, but the man besides me, was actually right in all the fairness.

"Alright!!"

"So, I am your new roommate, then. That was easy," he opened his supercilious mouth.

Easy. I hated the word. Nothing is easy, especially not me. "Do you want me to make it hard for you?"

He widened his eyes as my words touched his ears, which left me clueless. His shocking eyes turned into an impish glint and that was when I got the cue for his insightful undertone behind the expression.

"Innuendos? now who's making moves."

"Excuse me it was an accidental innuendo, which has nothing to do with making a moves on you, okay?" my face was suddenly smacked by the summer's sweltering afternoon.

"I was just joking," he chuckled. "I know you wouldn't have a risqué humour."

Excuse f*****g me, did he just? "What do you mean? I can make such suggestive instances, but I am classy enough for that, and by the way my mind goes to good places not to gutter," I breathlessly reproached him.

"That's what I said. You're too good to be using innuendos," Adam flashed a toothy smile, but it wasn't feigned.

I didn't say anything, because I had no clue how to react in front of him, anymore. There were myriad of responses bobbing to make its way, but all were different in their actions and tones.

Also, I mentally cursed at myself to choose the wrong word, instead I could have had chose 'difficult.' That would have been easy. Easy

"Can I ask you a favor?" Adam's convivial expression turned into a serious and at that moment my eyes spotted that he had got slight puffy eyes, which wasn't visible before due to his expressive face.

"Yeah?"

"Would you mind, if my friends show up every Sunday for Gaming and ice-cream?"

My mouth almost fell down on the floor, "is this again an innuendo for getting laid?" I was getting pissed for being dense.

"No, just playing games and ice-cream," he said

I scoffed, "what are you 8?"

"Sundays are reserved for ice-creams and no funny business during that," Adam informed me as like I was an outcast in the world of his mouth freezing dessert.

"So, I am guessing your little blondie friend would join-" I was dismissed promptly

"My guy friends. It's like a sweet ritual for us."

I pressed my lips together so I wouldn't titter. "Well, then of course you may have the permission."

"Thanks!! Tell me what's your favorite combo? My friend has this ice-cream store, with enormous numbers of unusual flavors from different countries."

Is he for real? "I don't eat ice-creams. I easily catch cold."

Adam was transfixed by what I said, "you sure? I mean, maybe you have a weak immune system. I have this best soup recipe that can toss out your cold."

Internally, I flinched at the idea of being friendly roommates with the guy sitting next to me. Just the night before we were grinding each other on his bed, if not for his side chick, we would have- no, the thought was horrendous enough.

Laura would surely call me a 'hypocrite' for rejecting the idea of Adam as my lover and accepting him as my roommate. A platonic roommate, which would contradict her notion.

I cleared my throat, lest, if it was not. "No, it's fine. I stay away from snow, rain, ice, etc. as much as I can."

Adam rose up from the couch, "Now, may I see my room?"

I got up too, and asked him to follow my lead.

The room wasn't strewn with my stuffs since it had been an extra room, thankfully. It was minuscule in size, with a single French window facing the empty yellow square box, which led the way to the balcony, same with my room, too. The balcony interconnected both the rooms.

"You can change the wall paint with a wallpaper if you want," he might not like the color.

"Are you kidding? I love yellow. It reminds me of summer," he chirped

"Uh, okay, then."

"Do you have anything else to ask me?You can ask," his voice was growing behind the back of my ears.

I turned over to hit my head on a firm wall of his chest. Adam was so closed to me that I could get drenched on his cologne mixed with a light stench of smoke. It wasn't half bad. It was intoxicating because of the amalgamation of smoke and his earthy scent. Although, I wasn't a big fan of smokers.

He wasn't dislodging, so I took a few steps back before I submerged myself into the unbidden pleasure of his warmth. "You cannot smoke in here."

"Did you just sniff me? How do you know I smoke?" he hoisted his brows with a painfully peevish smirk.

I was in the position that neither I could deny, nor accept. "I saw it on your nightstand." The only sensible answer; rather than I sniffed you or the worse, I saw it on your i********: bio, while being creepy.

"Okay, anything else?"

I didn't see anything to disapprove him as my roommate, except for the fact that my friends would be freaking out, especially, Laura. And of course, his provoking looks.

I looked at his curious eyes, which were ready to squint after my approval. But, before that my mind squeezed out one question, again.

"Do you believe in afterlife?"

"No," he didn't look at me like I am some freak, in fact, his answer was fast like he was waiting for me to ask that.

Adam stared outside the window. I followed the trajectory of his eyes to see the bare window and lackluster plants in a pot, which were about to wither.

We remained silent. And that was something between us which wasn't awkward, instead it was pleasant and calm.

"I don't believe in destiny, either. I think our choices play the major role in the deserving outcomes we are presented with," Adam said still looking outside the window.

I smiled nervously at myself still looking outside the window, listening to the honking of the vehicles, passing one another and watching the approaching weariness in the sky.