Her Ultimate Choice - Revisited

The Temptation

The Lord didn't lead Donnell anywhere that day but home. After hours of roaming the streets and thinking, he finally decided to turn around and return home to his empty apartment. He had thought Rachel and Kara would be there, happily awaiting his return. Right. But he wasn't able to call them because he had accidentally left his phone at home. No dinner as usual. Donnell went to the bedroom and found his phone. He saw that he had one message -- "Mrs. Gibson this is Mr. Dawson again. I just wanted you to let your husband know that I can interview him any time tomorrow if he's available." Click. Donnell was ecstatic. He had a real job interview! He couldn't wait. He needed a permanent job - something with benefits. Kara needed to see a dentist, and he and Rachael needed additional medical insurance. He also needed another life insurance policy. Should anything ever happen to him, he wouldn't want the girls to be even worse off trying to pay off his debts and for his funeral. He would call Mr. Dawson first thing in the morning to set up an appointment. So Rachel had already talked with him, thought Donnell. I wonder what she's thinking. Donnell got down on his knees and prayed to the Lord to guide him in his interview. He prayed that he would say the right things - do the right things - and that he would be blessed with this job.

"Father, I stretch my hands to thee, for there is no other help I know. Father, I ask that you direct my every step during this interview tomorrow. Father I ask that you bridle my tongue. and Father I ask that you grant me this opportunity to be a bread winner for my family, if this is Your will. Lastly Father, I ask that wherever my wife and child are right now, that you bless them, look over them and guide them safely home. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."

After he prayed, he headed to the kitchen to do what he'd become so accustomed to doing every evening on his own - fixing his dinner, eating alone, and going to bed - alone.

                                                                                                      ***************

Kara had finished her happy meal and was fast asleep in the back seat. She had a full day - riding around from place to place, sightseeing. An eventful mother and daughter outing. The truth is Rachel needed some time to think. She had been thinking about everything Renee had said to her. She couldn't believe Renee was taking up for Donnell. Renee is supposed to be on my side, thought Rachel. After everything we've been through together. She's supposed to always have my back. It troubled her that they were so at odds today. Apparently, Renee's been feeling this way for a long time, thought Rachel. "But of course I love Donnie," Rachel said out loud as if to convince herself. "I've always loved Donnie - haven't I?" Rachel wasn't even sure where she was driving to now. She had been driving around for a while and wasn't really headed anywhere. She decided to pull over on the side of the street to get a grip. That's when she realized she was right down the street from Frank's Place. As she continued to think about Renee's questions, she continued in thought, It's just that I need a change in my life. I'm unhappy, Donnie's unhappy. We're both two unhappy people right now. Things just aren't working out. It would be great if we both came to realize it together, instead of me being made to look like the heavy in all this. I couldn't have had a worse day. I might as well have gone in for Vinnie today, she thought. I'm sure I would have had a better day at the diner. Then she started smiling as she began thinking about Keith Staton. Keith Staton - now there's a man who knows how to treat a lady, thought Rachel. She didn't mean to focus her attentions on Keith, but right now, he seemed to be about the only thing that could cheer her up. Rachel was feeling stressed out from figuring out how they were going to make several ends meet, especially her car payment. Things were getting out of hand, and she was not satisfied in her marriage or with her husband. Sorry to say, she felt that Donnell was no help at all to her, and as the age-old saying goes - I can do bad by myself..."Maybe that's not a bad idea," Rachel said out loud. "Maybe I need to concentrate on me and what's best for me." She looked in the back seat, "And Kara of course," she added. As she continued to imagine her life without Donnell, the image of her and Keith Staton kept popping into her head. I've got to start thinking of myself. I can't let a good opportunity pass me by if it is over between me and Donnell. If I don't, Keith could end up getting away. I've got to take advantage of the situation now. She looked in the back seat again. I've got to look out for my child too, she thought. "You deserve the best things in life," she said as she looked at Kara sleeping. "If I stay with your father, you'll be raised in a life of poverty." My baby deserves the best. Maybe I should go out with Keith, thought Rachel. Just one friendly date and we'll see where it leads. 

So the next day, it was a go. Rachel decided that the next time Keith Staton asked her out, she would go for it. She had spent the last few days thinking about her life and her present situation, and came to the conclusion she needed a change in her life, and Kara deserved better. If she didn't do something about it quick, she was going to explode. "Pick up!" The cook's voice from behind the counter startled her back into the present. It was mid afternoon. Keith would be in soon, and when he asked her, she would be ready. So far it had been a pleasant day. Vinnie had come in and acted as if the altercation between the two of the had never happened. She wasn't sure what had happened. When she came in this morning Frank winked his eye at her, said everything was under control, and went into his office to plan the menu for the next week. Well this is an added plus, she thought. If things are under control with these idiots in here, then that gives me one less thing to worry about. I'll just concentrate on Keith.

So far Rachel had been successful in scheduling her shifts around Angela's. The last thing she wanted to do was get stuck working with Angela. The two of them never got along in the past and since Rachel's return back to the diner, they got along even worse. Before Rachel returned, Angela was head waitress and everyone seemed to get along well with her, especially Vinnie. He was really ticked off when Frank gave Rachel her old position back, which had belonged to Angela until then. As far as Vinnie was concerned, Angela was a saint, a goddess, she could do no wrong. And anyone who tried to wrong her, was easily added to his nemesis list. And it was not a good thing to be added to Vinnie's nemesis list. Vinnie was about 6'5" and weighed about 300 pounds. His demeanor didn't help the situation. He was a roughneck who rarely ever smiled, except in the presence of Angela.  He worshiped the ground she walked on. And trust me, she enjoyed every minute of it, knowing he wasn't her type. She should be ashamed of herself, thought Rachel. Knowing she wouldn't give this freak the time of day if she wasn't afraid of losing his protection. He always walked her to her car, made sure none of the male customers got out of line with her, and he always traded shifts with her when she needed him to, or was always at her beck and call. She was always up in his face grinning and running off at the mouth like they were the best of friends. Well maybe they are, thought Rachel, but you'd never catch me all up in that freak's face. I don't care how nice he is to me. As a matter fact, the more Rachel worked with Vinnie, the scarier he seemed. Even though he didn't say much to Rachel these days, she would always catch him eyeing her from the corner of his eye like he was keeping a close watch on her. It sort of concerned Rachel during the early part of the day, but as the day wore on, she seemed to think less of it.

                                                                                          ***************

Yes! thought Donnell as he exited the room he had been interviewed in by Mr. Dawson. He'd gotten the job and he could start first thing Monday morning. He'd dropped Kara off at Ms. Moore's for the interview. But now they would need a permanent sitter for sure. And oh yeah, he'd have to ... Donnell couldn't think straight. There was so much he'd have to do. But he was too excited right now to think about it. He wanted to share his happiness with someone else, but who? He knew he needed to thank Renee for the hook up with Mr. Dawson, so he headed to her place without a second thought. Renee has been so supportive, he thought on his bus ride over there. Maybe I should do something for her. I know, he thought. After I've made a few pay checks, I'll take Renee out to dinner to show her my appreciation, with Rachel and Kara, of course. For the first time in a long time Donnell felt like things were finally starting to come together for him. He only hoped that Rachael could be as happy for him as he was right now.

Finally he reached Renee's apartment building. He ran up to her door excitedly. After his second knock, she opened the door. Renee looks remarkably stunning today, thought Donnell. Maybe without me bugging her, she'd finally gotten a chance to get some much needed rest. He couldn't explain it. He just knew she looked different for some reason. "Renee, guess what? I got the job," Donnell said excitedly as he entered into the apartment. "Donnie, I'm so happy for you." They embraced in a warm hug. Although he could tell Renee was happy for him, Donnell could also tell she had a lot on her mind. "What's wrong Renee?" Reluctantly, Renee explained to him what happened the other day with Rachel. "I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, Donnie. But after rethinking the situation, she admitted, "Yes, I did mean to hurt her feelings. She needed to know that she's not the center of the universe - it does not revolve around her. She should be so thankful. She's got you and Kara. And even though you guys have your financial problems, you still take care of them. Donnie; there's nothing you wouldn't do for either one of them. You are a wonderful man and husband." "Thanks Renee," Donnell said completely surprised by Renee's thoughtful outburst.  "You deserve someone better than Rachel, Donnie." Oh no, what are you saying girl? Renee thought to herself. She wasn't sure where all this frustration was coming from. This certainly was nothing she had rehearsed. And so what if her best friend is having marital problems and mistreating her man, it certainly wasn't her problem, and who was she to interfere? It shouldn't even get her so upset. "Renee, thanks for sticking up for me, but I know if I can just get myself together, and get back on track, Rachel will come around." "She won't be happy about your new job, Donnie." "No, she won't. But I've got to do what I've got to do for now. This is just the first step to getting back on my feet."

Poor Donnie, thought Renee. This man doesn't have a clue. He doesn't realize that his wife is a get-rich scheming, get-all-she-can-get from her man type of wife, and that she'd gotten about all she felt she was going to get from him. Should I tell him about everything I've felt over the years when those two got together? Should he know that I've always felt Rachel married him for his money? Of course not.  What difference does it make what I've felt? The two of them  have lived together for eight years now. If anyone should be aware of Rachel's feelings, it should be Donnell. Maybe there was more there. After all, I was only looking from the outside in. But what about now? What about the feelings I know exist now? Donnell is a good man and he deserves better. He deserves someone like me. Ah, where did that come from?  Renee thought. And everything she had been feeling for the last twelve years finally hit home. All these years it should have been me. I should have been the one with the good husband, the nice home, and the child. Maybe things would have turned out differently for Donnell if he had chosen me over Rachel. He would have had a responsible wife. Oh no, thought Renee. What are you thinking girl? Well, if Rachel is going to break the heart of this wonderful man, why shouldn't I be there to help him pick up the pieces?

Donnell, noticing the disturbed expression on Renee's face, started feeling  little uncomfortable, and decided it was time to leave. "Thanks again Renee for all your support. I owe you so much." The two of them made eye contact for about two seconds, neither of them knowing what to say next, so they exchanged an awkward hug, and Donnell was gone. Renee couldn't get over the strange feelings she was having. She went over to the window to watch Donnell walk down the street. She suddenly felt lonely. As if the soul mate she had been looking for all her life had just walked out of her life for good. What is going on with me? she thought.

                                                                                           ***************

It was 4:15 p.m. on the nose, and in walked Keith, looking the bomb. He noticed Rachel instantly and gave her a smile that could melt a heart of stone. Rachel seductively walked over to his table, and asked flirtatiously, "So what'll it be?" "You" was the shocking response she received. It came out without any hesitation. He spoke with such a certainty, Rachel knew he was a man who knew what he wanted, and how to go about getting it. She leaned over his table as seductively as she knew how and whispered in his ear, "When and where?" She lifted her body from over the table, and without losing eye contact with him, slowly backed away, and eventually made her way to the counter. Rachel's heart was beating furiously. She knew it was on. Rachel was so into Keith that she didn't notice any other customers. She didn't notice the voices murmuring in the background for her to come to their table. She didn't notice Vinnie watching her from the corner of his eye again - but this time with a look of disgust and pure hatred.

                                                                                               ***************

The whole way home Donnell's mind was somewhere it shouldn't have been - on Renee. He couldn't get over how great she looked; it was as if he was seeing her for the first time. Nor could he get over all the wonderful things she had said in his defense. I'm sure they weren't wonderful to Rachel, he thought. I can't believe those two had a fallout over me. Renee and Rachel had always been like sisters. He always thought nothing or no one could ever come between them. Not that he thought he was coming between them. I'm sure they just had a little spat. They'll be talking again by tomorrow, he thought. Right now he was the one who needed to make amends with Rachel. Refocusing his attention on Rachel and their situation, he stopped and picked up a bottle of wine, made arrangements with Ms. Moore to keep Kara overnight, and was ready to welcome his wife home from what must be a tiring day. He was determined to change things between them. Things are going to get better for us, he thought to himself. And I've got to make Rachel see this. 

It was another hour before Rachel came home. But she was barely there long enough for Donnell to share his news about the job offer or for them to celebrate. She came in, went straight to the bedroom, quickly changed into a very provocative dress, mumbled something about hanging out with Renee, and was out. Donnell was left standing in the doorway with an unopened bottle of wine.

                                                                                           ***************

The next few days were difficult for Renee. She knew where the feelings she was having for Donnell were leading. She needed a few days to get herself together to figure out what to do from here, which meant intentionally avoiding Donnell and Rachel. She didn't realize until now that those initial feelings she had for Donnell had resurfaced. Maybe they never left, she thought. Maybe all these years I was pretending to not care about him in that way because he was my best friend's husband. She didn't know what the deal was. She only knew she didn't need to see Rachel or Donnell any time soon. Donnell had called and left a couple of messages for her, but she hadn't returned either of them. She didn't know what to say to him. All I know is I've got to get over these feelings, thought Renee. I can't feel this way about my best friend's husband, even if she doesn't deserve him. I have always respected the sanctity of marriage, so this can't be happening to me. Renee decided that what she probably needed was an outlet. She'd been so involved in Rachel's life for so many years that she didn't have much of one of her own. Everything was always about Rachel, or Rachel and Donnell, or Rachel and Kara, or Rachel, Donnell and Kara. It was time she focused on herself and started fulfilling her needs. She knew she had to get out, meet other people, go on dates. A date - that even sounded like a foreign word. "Lord, when was the last time I even had a date?" she asked herself. Well, on her next night off, she decided that instead of chilling at home, she'd hang out.

                                                                                        ***************

So far the job was going okay for Donnell. Buffing floors was far from organizing ad campaigns, but for now, it would do. It felt good to have steady work and not have to worry about how long he would be on a job before it eventually ended. He and Mr. Dawson were getting along well, and the hours were perfect. Ms. Moore agreed to babysit full-time, and since she was just across the hall, that was a blessing. Now that the job thing was on track, he needed to get his marriage back on track. However, Donnell was at a loss here. He wasn't sure what to do about his marriage. Rachel was being very difficult - more now than before. He thought that his getting a new job would make things a little better, but he was wrong. She continued to avoid him - when she was home. But for the most part, she was barely home at all. Donnell took Kara to Ms. Moore's apartment in the mornings, picked her up in the evenings, and gave her dinner. Rachel didn't seem to be available to either one of them anymore. He was getting desperate. I'm losing her, thought Donnell. Kara's losing her Mom. But I won't give Satan the glory. I will not let Satan destroy this family. The city bus he was riding on, came to a stop a block from Pastor James' house. Donnell jumped off the bus as if he were a man on a mission. I'll be a little late this evening, but Ms. Moore will understand, he thought. I've got to take care of some business first. He practically ran around the corner to Pastor James' house.