Wrecked Love

A help indeed

If I thought I could live with this crushing feeling and hide it from my mom, it took a lot more than acting. I realized that it started to eat me mentally when I the first thought when I saw a knife was to hurt somebody.

I had barely said a word to my mom after I found this. Without a shadow of doubt, I needed someone to talk to and definitely a professional at that. But the problem is how am I gonna tell my mom? 

She will freak out and I don't want to worry about me right now.

The regular walk feels different. Until last week, I was the cheerful and jubilant girl with a perfect family. But now it's the dark clouds in my life with a cheating dad and a weak mom who is unaware that her husband is probably f*****g teenage girls right now.

Nora finds me in the gate and I pour out everything that's in my mind. In my hindsight I feel guilty for her to stick with a girl like me and listen to all my problems when she herself has a ton to deal with it. However, I'll end up with a broken tooth if I mention it to her.

She was hell bent on getting me psychiatrist and went a step to book an appointment without my mom knowing. 

"Are you okay?", she asked.

No, I am not okay. I am really not. I haven't been for a while and I can really feel it now.

I couldn't stop the images going through my head, the sound of my mom crashing to the floor kept replaying in my ears and seeing the person I loved so much do that to another person torn me.

I couldn't stop shaking. My nerves are shattered. 

I've been secretly scared that maybe if mom saw me, I won't have any way out. She will break my resolve. Two more days until the appointment before I cry my eyes out to a stranger.

***

Today is the big day.

Well

Afternoon.

I've barely had any sleep. Nora is driving me to the appointment and waiting while I'm there; and she agreed to sit with me until I am comfortable.

I may feel half dead from the lack of sleep, but was nervous as all hell. It's a step in the right direction. It's seeking some kind of help, or at least attempting to find it.

We finally pulled around the corner from the address so we could find a park, and I could feel my stomach getting tighter over finally getting over here.

Harry had hold of my hand as we walked up the street, giving it a reassuring squeeze, when she noticed how uneasy I seemed.

"You'll be okay. I've seen him before and I can assure you, he is good", she tried to assure me.

"What if he can't help?", I wonder my concerns out load, staring at my feet as we round the corner and stare at the cracks in the pavement with each step.

Nora thinks for a moment, then when she speaks she sounds far more confident than I feel.

"Then we will figure something else out, we'll keep looking until we find someone that can. Okay?"

We entered what looked like an old mansion with large stained glass and the murky water run down showing the amount of rains it has seen.

Just like an odd outside, an odd inside. There was no reception, it didn't look like an hospital. It was a house and somebody lives there. Nora took long stride to the door at the end of the hallway and opened it after a light knock.

"Lo!"

The man sings out with a giant bright smile, waving over at us, "You must be Bella, am I right?"

"Hi? You- sorry, you are a doctor?", I stammer, trying to hide the shock on my face but it is not working.

The man walks towards us, stopping in front of us. He holds his arms at his sides with a confusingly cheeky grin on someone like him and announces in a theatrical boisterous voice.

"Yes it is, I, in the flesh. The attractive psychiatrist", he then drops his arms and shrugs, "Also you can call me Cole"

He then turned towards Nora and you can see the adoration in his eyes. The gentle smile and playful comments they passed shows how much time did they spend. 

"Come inside. You and I can have a chat with me and you", he pointed to Nora," can sit in the corner but no stealing"

Cole doesn't wait for us and starts strolling towards his chair with a whistle and kicked the chair around to feel bossy. Nora rolled her and went to the couch next to the entrance.

The setting has been made and it is cue to rain.

God help me.