I understand.
1468 Words
Alessia.
'I will always be here. You have endured for four years, Alessia. Four years. You are the strongest person I know.' He had whispered, his eyes filled with tenderness as he looked at me.
'You have two more years to go, Alessia. Hold on, okay? at least, for me. Do it for me, for us, for our future, for the future of this pack.'
'When this is all over, I will marry you, mark you, and treat you like the queen that you are. When that time comes, I will love you well, and I will protect you.' He had whispered, planting gentle and feather-like kisses on my forehead while he wiped my tears with his thumb...
At that moment, his soft kisses and reassuring words had restored peace in my otherwise chaotic mind. His protective presence, just like always, had washed away all the pain.
On that day, I had nodded eagerly, overlooking the wounds on my body, afraid of tomorrow, and yet, looking forward to the day after. The day that Lucian and I would rule the Silverwall pack, just like we were meant to and just like I had promised, I fought; even when giving up was an easy option, I withstood, for him, for us and for the future that he promised. And just like that, another year went by.
'It's now five years, Alessia. You are now seventeen, and I can't wait for your wolf to surface. By then, we will fight together, we will save the pack from your uncle's claws and.... ' A happy smile had stretched at the corners of his lips as he explained. 'We will have our happily ever after. 'He had concluded, pulling me into his arms.
On that day, feeling the warmth of his chest had had my body tensing up from how foreign it felt. My once well-protected body was now used to staying in the cold, to the point that I forgot how it actually felt to be loved, to be hugged.
' In this life, it is only you and me. In this life, we are meant for each other. Whether fated mates or not, you are the only one I will ever get married to.' That day, he had sworn, wearing a sincere smile and once again, like every other time that he used to sneak to the Pack's rice garden to meet me, he took me into his arms, the warmth of his body consoling me in ways words could never explain and like always, I rewarded him with an eager nod, counting months, longing for the day that he would come for me, ready for the pack battle and then? Obviously, my heart was beating at the possibility of the happily ever after that he had promised for the past few years.
My pathetic self had even been entertaining the possibility of having several pups with my Lucian.
And now? Hot tears streamed down my face as those once-sweet memories clouded my mind, but this time, they were all bitter, lacking the warmth that they once held, leaving my heart with sourness.
'Fated or not, you are the only one for me, Alessia. In this life, I will only ever marry you.' As I stared at him, that particular sentence repeated itself in my mind and I wanted nothing but to bare my claws at him, scratching that perfect face, that face that had me hopelessly in love with. The same face that was kissed by Elara, that very face that now filled my heart with disgust as I looked at him.
Yes, it was Lucian. He was standing right before me, his expression unreadable, wearing fine robes and me? I stood there, in my tattered old slave wears, the difference between us ridiculously big.
For the first time, a smile found its way to my lips, amidst the tears that had stained my face, of course. It was a bitter smile, one that had me rethinking everything that I had even believed in the past six years.
Maybe I was delusional. Maybe it was about time I stopped dreaming. Why hadn't I noticed the difference between Lucian and me for the past six years? Why would I think that he, unlike everyone else, was going to stay loyal to me? A decrowned princess? Now a slave?
It was all my fault for expecting too much, and it was his fault for giving me hope.
"You look beautiful when you smile. It's been years since I saw you smile." He whispered, taking a step towards me, and I took several steps back. I didn't want to be anywhere near him. The mere sight of him disgusted me to the very core.
It was ridiculous, wasn't it? The same person that I had waited for months to meet, even if for five minutes, that same person who had been a beacon of hope and promises to me for the past six years, was the same person that I now couldn't stand.
" I have been away for a month, you know?" I whispered, my voice quivering from all the bitterness.
" Life there, serving Elara's spoilt little sister was tough. I was not only her slave but a slave to her friends. For that one month, I felt like giving up. I was tired, I was famished. I wasn't allowed to rest or eat. It was the second hardest period of my life, Lucian. " I spoke, a sad smile pulling the corners of my lips.
" I had a chance to run. There was an opportunity for me since there was no one watching over me. But I didn't. I withstood everything, every insult, every punch and more.." I paused, a self-mocking laughter erupting from my lungs, eerie, cold and scary, foreign to even me.
" You know why? Because of you, Lucian. " My voice broke as I confessed, giving in to the pain within.
" You had asked me to wait, and I did. You asked me to endure, and I did, for six years, Lucian. " I added bitter sobs mixing with my voice.
" What about you? You promised me, and I took your word for it and now? You got married to Elara. You promised her a forever that should have been mine and yours. I took your word for it, and you betrayed me." At that point, my voice was flat, devoid of any emotion, just like my heart.
In the past, I only had love for him, and now? There was nothing left, no one to love, and no one to love me.
" I ..." He paused, unable to say anything, only adding to my anger.
" For the six years, the thought of this day kept me fighting. Your love kept me moving. This morning, when I was coming back, I was happy. " I wore a weary smile as I recalled how excited I had been, coming back to the pack. I didn't complain even when I was forced to walk from that pack to ours because I knew what awaited me.
I was certain that Lucian was my mate and a few hours ago, I couldn't wait to find out, to claim him, to mark him, but the saddest bit was, I wished I was wrong. I wished that he was not my mate, but he was, and he was already married to another.
Instead of the joy that I expected, I stumbled upon the biggest surprise of my life, a wedding.
" You know? For the longest time, for over ten years, I had hoped that you were my fated mate. Every birthday, my biggest wish was to have you as my mate and you are." I spoke my voice low, barely above a whisper.
" And I regret making those wishes. I hate having you as my mate, Lucian." The look of hurt that crossed his features didn't escape my eyes, but I didn't care, not anymore.
" I am sorry, Alessia. This...this is what I had to do. " Those words squeezed past his tightly clenched jaws.
" I am sorry... Things have changed. I am no longer the same...you...you are not the same, Alessia.." He added, and I lost my voice and my strength. The sting that came with his words nearly paralysed me.
" You.. you.." He had more to say, but I couldn't let him. I had heard enough, I knew where it was heading. I was now a slave, and he was the soon-to-be Alpha. That's what he wanted to say, no?
" I understand. " I whispered, my voice quivering, suppressing a sob, keeping those tears at bay.
I had cried enough, not anymore.
" Let's get this over with."
- Writer
